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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Projects of Love

First up, Demi Moore is about ready to play a marriage counsellor in her 30s who has lost her faith in love before replying to a personal ad and falling for a 20-something black man in Human Seeking Same. Naked in movies. Check. Marry that Die Hard guy. Check. Pregnant and Naked on Vanity Fair. Check. Implants bigger than my head. Check. French kiss Ellen DeGeneres in public. Check. Read about the Michael Douglas rule. Check. Do it with a much younger black man on screen. Check. Anyone have an idea what’s next? E-mail me.
Next, the balding and talented Kevin Costner is about to be pursued by a female journalist who instantly falls in love with him and his sensitivity after she reads his love letters to his wife. Message In A Bottle sounds a lot like Sleepless In Seattle with a Coke instead of a radio, and a beach instead of the Empire State Building. So what do you want to bet that Kevin’s co-star is more than a decade younger than him? Ahhhhh. It’s a suckers bet, huh?
Finally, Jean-Claude Van Damme’s first romantic lead has vanished. The Muscle-Head From Brussels appeared in 1985’s short film Monaco Forever, playing a mysterious man who picks up the hitchhiking hero of the film and makes a lightening-fast move for his crotch. Jean-Claude, we hardly knew you! J-C said, “Van Dammit!” when Jay Leno planned on surprising him with a clip on “The Tonight Show,” canceling his appearance. Now someone has stolen the only print of the film and the negative has mysteriously disappeared as well. This could be self-serving hype by the filmmaker trying to sell some tape. Or a Van Damme conspiracy. But do you really think Jean-Claude is smart enough to conspire to do much more than separate the two sides of an Oreo cookie? Didn’t think so.
Anything on your mind? Don’t be shy, e-mail me

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon