By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com
Critics, Who Needs Them? Not Kids.
It seemed like every film critic panned Cat In The Hatand there would be no way the film would survive. Even if it did have a feline’s nine lives. Boy, were we wrong. Forty million bucks in the first week and the film goes number one. What’s the reason? Kids don’t read reviews, and when a film like this one is so highly promoted with so many cool tie-ins parents don’t stand a chance. Red and white “Kit Kat” bars, shiny tree ornaments at some fast food restaraunt and even a floor cleaner. The Cat himself, by the way, appears in all those spots. I’m quite sure, though, that it wasn’t Mike Meyers himself in the costume but a stand in. Think of it as Mickey Mouse at Disneyland, its just some minimum wage teenager in there .
Alright, let’s get back to the movie. As a parent myself I can’t tell you how many bad movies I’ve sat through that the kids wanted to see. The one that comes to mind is one long Saturday morning I sat with my then five year old daughter for a pressscreening of Pikachu. This was no ordinary press event . We were in the Zeigfeld Theatre in New York surrounded by no less than two thousand screeming kids. To this day I don’t know what that movie was about.
As for The Cat in the Hat we’ll just have to and see if it has legs, or paws, as the case may be.
I mentioned Mickey Mouse and this story just popped into my head. During an interview,Michael Eisner, Disney CEO, told the story of being in a limo with Mickey. It was at the inaguration for President Bush (The first one). Their car was stuck in the long motorcade and they were alone, Mike and Mickey. Now the employes that are in the costume are sworn to remain silent. Mr. Eisner felt odd just sitting there and started talking to Mickey. No response. Eisner says. “It’s okay, you can talk.” Well, the poor kid or whoever was in Mickey’s head thought he was maybe being tested and never said a word no matter how much his boss said it was okay. Just trying to picture what that scene looked like cracked me up.
While we’re on Disney… The Haunted Mansion starring Eddie Murphy is a PG romp through a scary house based on the Disney attraction of the same name. Eddie must have come to terms with the fact he is not Will Smith and there is a future as a Disney Dad. Well, that is unless you wereBob Crane, who was spinning into a sex addiction nightmare when he made Super Dad.
Murphy does all of his well known schtick. That big grin . The rapid fire delivery . It all works. He plays a real estate salesman that takes a detour from a family vacation when this mansion comes on the market. His supporting cast, including the special effects ghosts that haunt the place, are great. Nothing is too frighting for young kids and enough fun for us adults that get dragged to see it.
So what’s Disney going to do next, “Its a Small World, the Movie”?
If Christmas films that make you feel warm and cuddly are your cup of tea. .. if a feel good film about Santa and children puts you in the holiday spirit… skip Bad Santa.
This film is filled with obsenities, perverted sex and booze by the gallon. It is also the funniest picture I’ve seen since Airplane, all the way back in 1980. Billy Bob Thornton plays Willie, a drunken, I mean really drunken, department store Santa. He and his sidekick, three foot tall Marcus, played byTony Cox, rob the stores they worked. Along the way Santa hooks up with an overweight loser of a boy simply called The Kid (Brett Kelly). The Kid lives in a big beautiful home with his almost comatose grandmother (Cloris Leachman). Santa finds it a perfect opportunity to freeload at their house. Enter Bernie Mac as store dick Gin, who turns out to be a sleezy as Santa and Marcus. John Ritter in his final film role is the milquetoast store manager Bob Ghipeska. Bad Santa is non-stop laughs and whatever you do don’t bring the kids. Remember the film is called Bad Santa.
As they used to say in the newspaper biz, “That’s thirty for now.” I don’t know what it means either but they used to always write it at bottom of the page.
– Bill Tush