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David Poland

By David Poland

Oh My He Didn't Like This Film!!!!

Selected outtakes from Matt Zoller Seitz’ review of Beyond The Sea:

Now that Spacey’s dream has come true, viewers have the chance to see a two-hour film with little film sense, about a phenomenally selfish entertainer who was a prick to pretty much everyone, played by an actor who’s 15 years too old for the part and who insists on doing all his own singing and dancing even though he’s not very good. To quote Dallas Observer columnist Robert Wilonsky’s observation about Vanilla Ice during his ganja-and-dredlocks phase, "The kid’s got balls of steel. Too bad they’re rolling around in his head."

Spacey dances like Pee-Wee Herman on a hot plate, and his off-pitch, rhythm-free singing is so lackluster that if he wasn’t playing Darin and singing Darin’s hits, you would never be able to guess whom he was imitating.

Defending his hairpiece, Darin declares, "Sinatra wears one." Yeah, but Sinatra’s looked like it was made of real hair, and he didn’t try to play 20 years younger than he was. Spacey-as-Darin is simply too theatrical—too artificial—to be believed. In broad daylight, he looks like a wax statue of Mike Wallace that’s begun to melt.

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9 Responses to “Oh My He Didn't Like This Film!!!!”

  1. Dan R% says:


  2. Pale Viewer says:

    Sea’s not Ray, neither was Darin.

  3. bicycle bob says:

    u think this jerk has an ax to grind???

  4. Ed says:

    Saw most of the film and, even though I like Spacey, he looked ridiculous and his acting really suffered..Bad Bad Script!

  5. jeremy says:

    Somebody had to write that review. Unless you’re tone deaf, this is the year’s most excruciating film to sit through. I haven’t seen an act of hubris this embarrassing since HARLEM NIGHTS, which at least featured Redd Foxx going on about the manhood shrinking power of “Creole bitches”.

  6. Mark says:

    Spacey is said to have “Costner itis”. Ouch. Does it get worse than that?

  7. So, I find your blog by other blog . I can not say, that about your blog I plant after reading 1 note, but I can former review.
    I salute 😉
    (My blog:

  8. joe says:

    Beyond the what? I´ve already forgotten that movie and here in méxico will get to theaters in febrary.

  9. Harold Wexler says:

    More fuel, I suppose, for the increasing pool of evidence that Roger Ebert is Losing It: He offered the opinion, during his thumbs-up TV review of BtS, that “Kevin Spacey sings BETTER than Bobby Darin.” Then the following week he not only repeated it but said, “You know, I haven’t gotten a single response that disagrees with me.” Which only proves that Ebert has some mighty diligent message screeners.

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“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon