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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Lumenick Channels McCarthy, Brain Death in 'Ant Bully' Review


You have to hand it to the Post’s Lou Lumenick. Obviously tiring of his colleagues’ half-assed Soviet allusions in their analyses of conflicts in the Middle East, the critic today reaffirms his old-school GOP cred by steadfastly clinging to the Cold War–in the most reactionary way possible, of course:

If The Ant Bully were made 60 years ago, it would have been one-tenth the length, boasted 10 times as many laughs – and probably would have landed its makers before the House Un-American Activities Committee.

This generic exercise in computer-generated animation may provide passable entertainment for very young children, but adults will be less than enchanted by its preachiness, talkiness and Communist Party-line political views. …

Our hero is taken prisoner and the ant queen (voiced by Meryl Streep, no less) assigns a nurse aunt named Hova (Julia Roberts) to indoctrinate Lucas in the ways of the colony.

She yammers so incessantly about sacrificing all for the common good that her lines sound like they were scripted by Karl Marx. Did I mention these are red ants?

Well, no, Lou, but go right ahead. Anyway, not all is lost: Warner Bros. can take consolation in its new film being “passable entertainment for very young children,” especially considering The Ant Bully‘s “very young children” target audience.
More excitingly, Lumenick has bumped up the flow in his and Kyle Smith‘s right-wing hack pissing contest, inching the 2006 competition closer to its All the King’s Men/Bobby review showdown and the coveted grand prize: one’s name scrawled on a rocket into Lebanon and a signed color headshot of Andrea Peyser. That Murdoch guy sure knows how to motivate people.

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon