By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com
Pluto, Cruise, and other galactic downgrades
Pluto was downgraded from planet to tiny ball of ice around the same time Tom Cruise slipped from star to … cosmic dust? As the universe gets reclassified, it’s possible that certain stars will no longer be the center around which all things revolve.
Tom (“You can’t fire me; I quit!”) Cruise has had one public-relations disaster after another, all of them avoidable if he had just understood that his power came from a slick veneer of unknowability. Cruise needed that aura of mystery because, as we can now see, every time he opens his mouth something distressing drops from it. Mel Gibson merely suffers from garden-variety paranoia and anti-Semitism, but Cruise’s brain blips are so weird they’re scaring the customers. (Has he chained Suri to the radiator? Is he really going to refuse to take that baby out to the park until someone pays him more for her photo than they did for Shiloh?)
According to Box Office Mojo, Cruise is Hollywood’s 5th-ranked star (Harrison Ford is No. 1) by total box-office take. A guy like that should be worth a lot of money to a studio, sure. But Carrie Fisher is No. 13. Why? Because she happened to snag a role in what went on to become a powerfully successful franchise. Doesn’t mean she can open a movie today (although I wish she could), and therefore reminds us that “star power” is not a stable, predictable, heavenly body.
Pluto was a planet — of this we were certain — and now it’s not. Tom Cruise was a guaranteed star, and now Paramount has reclassified him as nothing more than dark matter.
You should check out: http://www.the-numbers.com
That website has the worldwide figures. Cruise is beating Ford now but Hanks is in the lead.
I thought Mr Samuel L Jackson recently became El Numero Uno…if I could only remember where I read that…
In my book, yes, Sam Jackson’s the man!
Between the RINGS trilogy and the three X-MENs, not to mention DA VINCI CODE, you could make a pretty good case right now for Ian McKellen…
Jami, you identified the missing ingredient in the Tom universe, which is, simply, mystery. Tom has become so glaring, so transparent, he’s like a neon advertisement promising much, but having little substance behind all the bright, colorful light.
Poor Pluto… all asteroid dust, and not enough substance to qualify as a planet around which things orbit.
They deserve each other. We oughta rename the heavenly body, and I don’t mean Mr. Scientology.
If Ian could just land the role of the next professor of the Dark Arts in Harry Potter, he’d have it made!
Not really. They never survive for a second year. 🙁
Oh, good point. And Dumbledore is toast, so no more substitutions. Perhaps Ian can be the next Superman if that Brandon fellow’s aftertaste is too bland?