First Patrick Swayze, and now Chicago Sun-Times Commentary page sob sister and speeding advocate Mary Laney types a column demanding that we accept Mel Gibson‘s apologies for his racist outburst, rather than dangerous drunk driving and re-examine our own lives as well. The column’s riveting banality and sudden swerve into Irish history are almost as comical asher own 2004 vehicular dustup in the state of Wisconsin. First, Mary on Mel: “What is it with kicking someone when they’re down? Why do so many people want to jump on the bandwagon of wagging their fingers? … Last week Gibson apparently went off the wagon, drank too much, was pulled over by police and let loose with a string of prejudicial comments against Jews. Remember, he was drunk. I’ve heard people when they’re drunk say all sorts of things… There is little truth that comes out of a drunk… [I]t was wrong to say what Gibson said, including the alleged sexual insult he made to a female officer, but he has apologized sincerely, said the words do not reflect what he truly feels, and has asked for help to overcome any demons he may have inside… Were these people just waiting for a chance to get at him? … Was it because he undertook a Christian movie,The Passion of the Christ—that no studios would back—and turned it into a huge success? Does it feel good to kick a famous person and feel famous just by doing so? … We all have to forgive people at some times in our lives. If we don’t, we just carry anger around with us and the only person that anger hurts is ourselves. There’s an old saying that when you point your finger at someone, three of your other fingers are pointing back at yourself.” Bizarrely, Laney then gets angry on behalf of the Irish. “You may be guilty of [prejudice] as well. Oh, you doubt it? You say you’ve never said anything prejudicial in your life? Ask yourself this: What do you call the large police vehicle that hauls away multiple people police arrest? Do you call it a squadrol? Or do you call it a paddy wagon? If you are among those who call it a paddy wagon, you are guilty of using a very prejudicial term.” A mini-history of Chicago’s Irish immigrants follows, with this conclusion: “This is far more than many others who have besmirched an ethnic group have done. Take him at his word. While you’re at it, examine your own words, thoughts and deeds. This could lead to a new and better world.” Kumbayah, Sister! Let’s blame it on others and omit the salient fact that HE WAS DRIVING DRUNK AT HIGH SPEED. As for Laney’s speeding rap in Wisconsin, here’s Journal Times’ columnist Rob Golub [link above] on Laney’s own sense of entitlement behind the wheel: There’s “an Illinois columnist who complains that Illinois drivers are treated unfairly in Wisconsin… Chicago Sun-Times Columnist Mary Laney also complained in her column… that when she was allegedly racing down Interstate 94 and got pulled over, she was unfairly frisked and hauled off in a squad car.” The “speedy Chicago Sun-Times columnist” is quoted by Golub: “Take this as fair warning: If you’re planning on driving north to Wisconsin on Interstate 94 and your car bears Illinois plates… be prepared to be pulled over, fined and, even if you have a clean driving record and legitimate driver’s license, have your car towed and be taken into custody. It happened to me.” … “I was over the limit,” she writes. “But so, too, were the cars right in front of me.” “Ah, the mob mentality,” wrote Golub. “That’s always a good defense… Deputies are required to frisk anybody they put in their cars, to protect deputies from harm, said Sheriff Robert D. Carlson. The deputy on the scene explained this to Laney. She writes, “So, as cars slowed down to watch, I submitted to the frisk and the humiliation.” Do Wisconsin authorities target Illinoisans? “Absolutely not,” he said. “We are targeting people operating their vehicles illegally as this woman was by her own admission.” … Deputies say Laney was doing 83 mph in a 65 mph zone when she got busted on April 24, the incident that led to her column. She faces a $230 fine. And for her to write that she has a clean driving record is arguably, well, a fib. It was not the first time this particular Illinois resident got clipped by cops in Wisconsin. According to records kept by the Wisconsin Court System… she’s twice paid fines for speeding on a freeway in Wisconsin since 1999.”

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