It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?
So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.
And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.
There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.
I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.
So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.
But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”
My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher
“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.
~ David Simon
Sounds like you already reviewed it.
HA!
Seriously, though, WWDMS?
If that’s all you expect from a review, it is surely all you deserve.
I have tried to remain aloof to the Transformers hype, but after seeing the last trailer, I allowed myself to think Bay had come up with a gloriously silly CG romp. I should have known that its increidbly difficult to make a romp that is 140 minutes long (Pirates 1 was probably the last). Oh well, I imagine I will still see it, rationalising until the last minute…
I was joking, DP (hence the HA!).
I am, however, looking forward to Don explaining why adults and women will flock to it.
I am starting to get it now. If the theatre is clapping and cheering and the audience really enjoys it you have to say nasty things about it. Anyway, again, BIGGEST FILM OF THE SUMMER.
Isn’t Dave sorta predisposed to hate this film…if only to spite Don.
I already have my tix for Monday night. This thing is review proof. I want it to kick so much ass. But Mr. Murphy, if it licks balls, I’m going to send you my ticket in the mail for a refund.
Single worst cinema experience in the past 3 years.
TRANSFORMERS is for diehard trannies only. Bay the ultimate cine narcissist is so enraptured with capturing silhouettes and the like that any semblance of narrative cohesion is tossed like a new jack. Ed Wood style continuity problems plague this ode to excess – action scenes travel from broad daylight to pitch black night in the space of seconds for no discernable reason. The opening salvo which is supposed to induce awe and wonder amongst the audience shows its hand within moments as the first transformer is announced by terrible bit players.
Things go boom. yes they do Michael. Boom boom all da time not so good good.
Just wretched direction throughout – there’s asmugness and contempt for the audience that shines through. Bay is so in love with his own styling that he forgets that his subjects are of immense size and scale. So what does he do – he focuses too tightly on the robots during their boring ballets, so its impossible to follow the action.
Boom boom all da time not so good good.
Its utter gibberish. The story begins 90m into the film. Why didn’t they start the film with the slow discovery of Megatron in the ice- – you know like perhaps a fucking incredible adventure epic would.
Not even entertaining on a camp level – there’s so much mishandling of potentially great material its remarkable that Spielberg didn’t do a Poltergeist on Bay. I guess his merch % was healthy enough for him to stay away.
Atrocious script. Unwatchable action. Unlikeable characters. Turgid. Dull.
Thank god for Turturro who pulls an Irons and realises that this film is retarded and has fun with his embarrassing role.
Boom boom not so good Michael.
Big fucking ugh.
wow, man, harsh; i just saw it (put my thoughts in the ‘die hard’ thread cuz i’m retarded) and it wasn’t THAT bad, i enjoyed bits of it and didn’t enjoy other bits, could have been much better but it was worth seeing just for shia, that boy is a honey. i took my 8 year old son and he thought it was the second coming of jesus, so there you go, it’s a kids movie…
Don, DP and JBD seem to be impervious to your Jedi mind trick.
I better shield my wife from these reviews (who’s already digging her heels in about not wanting to see this) or I’m going to end up looking like a creepy pedophile at my local theater.
The comparison to GODZILLA chills me. I so want this to be fun. GODZILLA was not, unless you changed the name and removed all of the characters and dialogue. Then it was kinda, sorta fun.
And I still can’t figure out the hatred for MADAGASCAR. It’s no INCREDIBLES or TOY STORY, but my kids still love it and I laugh at it in the that sort of comfy, sitcomish way I laugh at FAMILY TIES reruns. Empty for sure, but pretty to look at and pleasent.
To each his own. Just please let THE SIMPSONS live up to shows classic standards. Been a Homer junkie since day one. It best not suck-diddley-uck.
JBD is a well known clown and juggler who probably didn’t even see the film. Poland is on a bender of hate lately. SINGLE BIGGEST FILM OF THE SUMMER.
Don, I just don’t think that’s likely. Impossible, no, but not likely. To be the biggest film of the summer, Transformers will have to make at least $335 million (depending on how Harry Potter does). Only 14 movies have ever made that much, and other than Titanic and The Passion of the Christ, they’re pretty much all sequels. Even if you have a killer opening, nothing has legs anymore. You’ll drop fast, even if the movie is well-liked. I don’t think the odds are very good Don.
I appreciate your incorrect thoughts. Godspeed and God Bless.
Don, David: I have an idea. Why don’t the two of you wager on the opening-week gross of Transformers? Seriously. The loser has to write a check to the winner’s favorite charity. Well, either that, or if David wins, Don has to take out a trade paper ad that states: “I humbly bow to David Poland’s superior intellect.” And if Don wins, David has to place in a prominent position on his website (for at least six months) this message: “I don’t know shinola about Transformers.”
We’ll see soon enough Don. If/when you’re wrong, will you disappear and stop posting here, or will you take it like a man?
Joe There are already two wagers. David will owe me a Gardel Burger with fries and Jeff MCDouche will have to gargle with lye. I’m pretty busy with other projects right now before the non strike and can’t truly focus on other bets than those.
Stella’s Boy With a handle like that should you be talking about taking it like a man? Just sayin’
Remember guys, even if Don is wrong he still is going to be millions of dollars richer when all is said and done thanks to this movie, which is galling.
Any numbers yet on yesterday’s Die Hard opening?
JeffMcDouche Shhhhh. People might hear you.
Don it’s all for shits and giggles.
$8.8 million for LFODH.
1. Yes… absolutely… there was some cheering at the premiere… just as there was some great energy at the junket. Never EVER listen to junket or premiere buzz to read a movie. Heroin is less dangerous.
2. Don’s argument is not really about opening weekend. It could be more than $100m over 6days-plus. Very unlikely. My read, that it will be in the Top Five July 4 openings ever is not exactly abusive. Opening weekend has nothing to do with the quality of the movie… which is why Paramount keeps extending out the opening. The danger zone is parents worrying that it’s too violent for the under 10s. That audience is at least a quarter of any expected gross (more like a third, probably).
3. I still think that the movie will open well and do around $200 million. It could have been $50m bigger at 100 minutes. And the film I saw could have been cut to that running time without losing anything but fat.
4. I think it’s great that Don is hanging around shooting the shit on this one… even if we disagree about the outcome.
8.8 for LFODH seems pretty good to me.
Seems very mediocre to me. It’ll end up with, what, $30 million three-day/$45 million five-day? Nothing to write home about.
This has nothing to do with movies, but I had to share: Has George Bush ever looked more pathetic in his life? I’m actually beginning to feel a little sorry for the guy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH2QB7p7drQ
I mean, if you did see this scene in a movie — would you expect them to cue the violins?
As I was picking up my tickets for Ratatouille yesterday, I noticed a couple of teenage boys talking about Transformers like it is the second coming. Now, you guys – please tell me – I am an over age 30 female who loved Terminator 1 & 2, the Matrix, etc….will I like Transformers? I have no kids so have no prior knowledge of their robots – I just like kickass action.
The party also had chicken sausage, roast veggie wraps, and barbecue chicken sandwiches.
Saying no adults will come is nonsense. Look how many adults go to monster truck shows that feature giant robots smashing things.
Not to mention all the guys in their 30s who had all the toys back in the day.
It is a lot like a Godzilla movie…but not the Roland Emmerich one.
Transformers looks like it’s taking the amazing CG work from War of the Worlds and putting into a more family-friendly context.
Instead of nutty Tom Cruise in a terrifying Twin Towers-evoking death-fest, you’ve got young star Shia in a more fun contest where I imagine the bad guys don’t just destroy humanity the whole movie – Optimus Prime is a good guy, right?
Anyway, at least Michael Bay isn’t Brett Ratner. He might be a hack, but….ok, I can’t apologize for Michael Bay, he’s god awful.
But I still think the film does huge numbers. But not as big as Harry Potter will be.
I think Transformers will have a big opening because I feel audiences weren’t happy with the action / set pieces from the Pirates/Spiderman combo last month. I still haven’t seen either so I can’t comment.
There’s sort of a knee jerk need to get our “bad ass CGI / action smackdown” fill and Die Hard and/or Transformers are the tickets for it. We’ll see. This shit just got real.
Joe – I agree with you, President Bush looks downright depressed in that clip.
Adults will go to TRANSFORMERS…it’s a franchise that started in our youths. I know several people who skoffed when they saw it was coming out as a live action movie but I also know they all secretly wanted to see it…and will see it.
I’m not good at guessing numbers, but I can’t see TRANSFORMERS being the #1 film of the summer. Too much competition. With all the pre-opening buzz for RATATOUILLE, I think that movie is going to be a monster.
Well, Don, I have good news, and I have bad news for you. The good news is, I just purchased my tickets for the 8 p.m. Monday screening of Transformers. The bad news? I was still able to purchase tickets for the 8 p.m. Monday screening of Transformers.
Last week I finished reading HP&OOTP. Then I read HP&THBP. And then I realized that the 5th movie is going to rake in the cash. Especially since the 7th book is coming out like ten days after. July is going to be Harry Potter month. Heck, I want to see the 5th film, but I wanna read that 7th book like yesterday (and I’m sure I’m not alone there).
While I do think Transformers is going to make more than Poland thinks, I really can’t see it surpassing Pottermania.
After awhile a lot of the constant Michael Bay bashing starts to play a little like ‘the lady doth protest too much’.
The man is by no means a hack and to even compare him to Ratner is to really overplay ones hand.
Bay has a definite visual style that carries through most of his pics through editing and cinematography and he actually is quite good with composition. The Island I thought was vastly under-rated.
Bay has become a fairly consistent director and he definitle knows how to create epic sequences.
I wish I could see the Michael Bay version of Superman returns. I will take in The Tranformers instead.
Best of luck, Don.
Aladdin, agreed – July will be Potter month (though I think Transformers will do about as well as Poland says).
And not to derail things, but can anyone tell me when it was announced that David Yates was directing Potter 6 (which I’m still convinced isn’t a movie)? I don’t recall him initially signing up for two films in a row, but all of a sudden it seems to be a fact (the film shoots in September).
I don’t think anyone would disagree that Bay isn’t technically astute and able to create gripping sequences; his problem is that he doesn’t care about characters or plot or anything beyond style and formalistics.
Nicol, aren’t you the one complaining about young filmmakers now knowing anything about the great films of the past and how to tell a story? Granted Bay isn’t a young filmmaker anymore, but you get what I mean.
Jeff,
I don’t argue that he is a genius. I only argue that he is not a hack like some people try to say.
I have enjoyed many of his films and he always brings a style and visual flair that is distinctive.
I think he is a solid action director who can do spectacle well and he fills the spot that perhaps a John McTiernan once had.
I also think Bay has shown definite growth since his first feature. Again, I thought The Island was vasty under-rated.
“I wish I could see the Michael Bay version of Superman Returns.”
You and me both. And I defended that movie last year. Talk about deflation.
Nicol D, it’s a mortal sin to compare Bay to John McTiernan. Here’s what he did in three years: Predator, Die Hard, Hunt for Red October. People think Terminator did that, but Arnold made three stinkers after that and it was Predator that solidified his status. Die Hard is the best modern action movie ever. Slick action, great character stuff, a combination that Bay has never shown. Hunt for Red October is not an action movie — it’s just dudes on a submarine, and it is smart-smart-smart. What’s Bay going to do when he can’t swing the camera around the room?
I’m happy to see Don Simpson around and though I’m with him that its going to be a monster hit, it’s not a “good” movie. It might not all be Bay’s fault, but most of it sure is.
I think that defending Michael Bay has become trendier than bashing him.
MarkV, I can’t really ever remember a formal announcement that Yates would be directing the 6th film. It just sorta happened. I remember reading something about it somewhere though – maybe it was AICN? Anyhow, sight unread, who would you want to direct the 7th film? I kinda hope that Alfonso Cuaron makes good on his saying he wouldn’t mind directing another film (although maybe he’s changed his mind since the days of junketeering for Azkaban).
sloanish: Don Simpson has risen from his coke fueled grave?
Boy oh boy, I cannot wait until this Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Chocobot Movie is out and done. Talking ill and good of Bay is an American pastime that I can do without.
Aladdin Sane: The Yates signing was the most anti-climatic news in Potter history. HBP is easily one of the most thrilling entries of the series, and we don’t even know if Yates has the talent to pull off Phoenix yet. I believe Alfonso has expressed interest in directing the seventh earlier this year, and many of his peers have politely pushed him into considering such a role.
I think Bay does what he does and does it well. I also think ARMAGEDDON is an outstanding movie. However, and as was proven by his appearance on ON THE LOT, Bay seems a wee bit too narcissistic and smug to ever “really” be taken seriously. His attitude comes across in his films.
Are Bay and Spielberg our only true American auteurs?? Let the flamings begin!!
Transformers will make more than 300 million. And to call it just an “animated children’s film” is way too snarky and unnecessary. This is a big, big, big film. And it’s not a sequel. And it has giant fucking robots.
The #1 biggest fault of the film – the robots have no distinguishable character traits or personalities. Just big shiny things. Kids will not identify and bond on the level they should to make this film a lock. Big business but terrible word of mouth. And NO repeat business. I repeat NO repeat business.
I haven’t seen it Don? I wish I fucking hadn’t. Yes the film will be in the black but as a piece of entertainment its pretty dire.. and Godzilla is the perfect analogy – IF Godzilla had appeared in the first frame !!!
Tofu,
Quint @ AICN seemed to give off the impression that he was surprised with Yates’ direction…so I guess the people who okay directors were pleased well enough.
Man, if Cuaron comes back, I’d be quite ecstatic.
Aladdin, I honestly don’t have much of a preference as to who should direct Deathly Hallows. Cuaron would be fine, but I’m in a minority in believing that Prisoner of Azkaban wasn’t THAT good – better than the first two, but still hampered by some of the same problems (too-rigid adherence to the source material, weak kid acting, etc.). Cuaron brought a great visual sense, but it still felt like a continuation of the first two. I think that each of the films has gotten progressively better – meaning that, yes, I think GoF is better than PoA (though Book 4 is my favorite).
positive review from The Hollywood Reporter: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/film/reviews/article_display.jsp?&rid=9431
“Bottom Line: Sci-fi action that is both smart and funny”
“…complaining about young filmmakers [not] knowing anything about the great films of the past and how to tell a story?”
Sounds like the state of the comics industry starting 20 years ago. The new kids didn’t go to art school but learned to draw by copying other comic books, and though their work looked kinda cool, you had to overlook the out-of-kilter proportions of characters who lacked any sort of characterization and stories that essentially boiled down to “Revenge is mine!”
Bay definitely ‘does what he does’ and I suppose you could say he does it ‘well’ but I still don’t like it, for the most part. I think he’s very talented and does less with that talent than any other American filmmaker I can think of. At least Gore Verbinski actually made a small personal film and will probably do so again. Bay is too talented to be a complete hack (in the strictest sense of the term) but he sure has low expectations of what a quality cinema experience ought to be.
All that said, I’m still hopeful of enjoying Transformers.
There are only 4 reviews listed at rottentomatoes so far for Transformers, but all are positive, including Variety.
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_the_movie/?show=all
Positive review from Chud.com critic Jeremy Smith: http://www.chud.com/index.php?type=reviews&id=10819
Despite having an eye for composition, I usually can’t stand Michael Bay’s films. And I would say he should stick to doing commercials. However, I have to agree with Nicol and say that The Island gets way too much shit. It certainly deserved to better at the box office. And while it may not be A.I., it was much more intelligent sci-fi than something like Resident Evil, or even the Twohy/Diesel Riddick films. It was derivative, but so was The Matrix. I felt Bay had improved as a filmmaker, and it’s sad that now he’s going to be encouraged to stick with the mindless shit that made him who he is today.
Keep in mind that this is coming from someone who also felt the same way about Aeon Flux.
I’ll pack my bags and be gone by tomorrow morning, sorry.
Michael Bay is practically the definition of a hack, which in my world is a talentless guy given great tools and resources to make lame films. Bay is just horrible, and wastes more good money on more bad films than probably any director in Hollywood.
The Island? Are you kidding me? Come on, that movie was a joke, and audiences even caught on to it, too, for once. Yes, there was a 30 minute chase scene that was ridiculous and repetitive and while havign nothing at all to do with the first half of the movie was a little fun, but a chase scene isn’t a movie, and the rest of that film was had tone issues, hardly made sense, and made two fine actors look like stooges.
Is Bay better than Ratner? By a little bit, probably. Bay is technically a better filmmaker, but at least Ratner doesn’t seem to take his lame films so seriously. And the essense of a hack in my book is a filmmaker that thinks his shit smells like roses.
Armegeddon was Bay’s best film IMO, but only if you’re willing to laugh at it and look at it like a comedy. This is not a compliment, any more than saying Showgirls is great if you pretend it’s a comedy. But calling Armegeddon outstanding? Maybe if you’re twelve and get a hard on everytime something goes boom.
Bad Boys II? The Rock? Pearl Harbor? These are not films to be proud of, they are embarrassments of epic proportions. Pearl Harbor being the ultimate embarrassment.
I’ll give you the firset Bad Boys as being fun, in the way that say Rush Hour is – mostly because of the charisma of the two stars and Tea Leoni in sexy mode – but this guy has zero talent, he’s just got a lot of resources, and abuses them in the most disgusting way.
With Michael Bay, you can just hope that the material and cast and CGI team, say in the case of Transformers, will overcome Bay’s epic awfulness.
There will always be haters.
…and things worthy of hate.
Carpetmuncher, I like how you bend the definition of “hack” to suit your own terms. It’s like me saying “Lasagna is the very definition of Mexican food, which in my world is food that I like.” Just because you completely and totally misuse a word doesn’t make it so.
The historical definition of “hack” is a hired-gun filmmaker who moves from project to project with little personal stamp, style, or recurring thematic elements. You can argue that Bay doesn’t really have “recurring thematic obsessions” that are ripped from his tortured psyche and soul, a la Scorsese or Ferrara or DePalma, but then again, neither does Soderbergh, and he’s not widely (mis)labeled a “hack.”
Bay’s certainly not a hired gun, and he certainly has a visual style; You’re merely doing the quite common post-AICN move of just applying “hack” to any director you personally dislike.
A hack would be much closer to a journeyman like Richard Benjamin, or Joseph Sargent, or Lewis Teague. Hell, “hacks” don’t even have to be bad filmmakers. John Badham comes fairly close to suiting the original definition of a “hack,” and he’s made several good to great films.
i used to joke that Beaks aka Jeremy Smith should take a course called “Writing for Humans” Here’s an excerpt from his review:
“Michael Bay’s giant fucking robots are here, and they are dead-set on destroying lots of property, so it’s fortunate that, in anticipation of the edifice-toppling third-act tilt, they’ve landed in Los Angeles, where great architecture is as disposable as a socialite’s virginity. The only drawback to Bay’s final fit of mechanical mayhem – and he is currently without peer when it comes to the staging of this stuff – is that one must endure a distended middle section bafflingly dedicated to a hunt for an antique pair of eyeglasses…”
It’s like reading a review written by a computer programmed to play chess.
It’s amusing to read people that are SO knowledgeable that they’ll throw around pejoratives as if THEY know better or could do better without any provenance. I know who David is and Leydon so I can weigh what they say. I Know that Jeff McDouche is an opinionated janitor and rate his rants accordingly.
Michael Bay most assuredly is NOT a hack. This guy has a visual eye, can direct action, and works harder than anyone I have seen. He would set up the damn shot, set up all three cameras, and operate one himself. He knows what he is doing and knows it very well. If you don’t like what he is doing, fair enough. But he is doing exactly what he is setting out to do and doing it extraordinarily well.
JBD sits here curdling up adjectives about the film which I do not believe he has seen. The actual critics are weighing in. The fans are weighing in. I am sorry you could get tickets at the 8pm show, but then again who wants to sit in the theatre while you flatulate, Joe? Let me know what you thought, and thanks for the purchase.
David
1- as a filmmaker, thank you, I’ll gauge the reaction of the audience every time. Korea, Australia, UK, LA- same laughs, same cheers, same reactions.
2- I had two nieces and three nephews at the premiere. Boys all 7 and 8, girls 7 and 10. The didn’t even get up to pee. Riveted. Not too explosive. Riveted. And again, BIGGEST FILM OF THE SUMMER. This 6 day 4 day shit hurts my head.
3- Film probably could be shorter. But it isn’t. It ain’t THAT long David. And $200 is ridiculously low on this. You just haven’t lived it man.
4- Thanks David. At least someone isn’t pretending to be me and the anonymous dicks here only make me laugh. Except Jeff. Poor lonesome janitor.
LexG, it’s nice to see that somebody knows what the word ‘hack’ really means, but I don’t completely agree with your conclusions. The thing about Bay is that he does have ‘recurring thematic interests’. The problem is that his recurring interests are childish and lame, like explosions, dumb jokes, and grad filters. Soderbergh can’t be called a hack either because his projects are almost all self-generated and he does have recurring interests: homages to films of the 60s as in The Limey and the Ocean’s movies, personal compromise and its costs in Schizopolis and The Good German, etc.
I don’t think Bay is a bad director because he doesn’t write his own screenplays or make personal projects and only wants to entertain. I think he’s a bad director because he fails at even those goals, and because he seems to be emotionally retarded, intellectually incurious, and lacks wit or grace.
Don, my name is Jeff McMahon and I am an editor and writer. So, no longer anonymous.
And what reason do we have to believe anything _you_ say since it’s guaranteed to be 99% hype?
I did like the idea before that this is the reincarnated ghost of Don Simpson, cursed to haunt the internet till the end of time.
It’s probably not necessary, but I feel compelled to point out just how much Don Murphy OWNS. Dude blows in here on the daily laying laws on the perennially humorless, joyless, pretentious naysayers who apparently left their senses of humor, innocence, and enthusiasm back in whatever Podunk they’re really from, when they traded it in for a look-at-me attitude of ironic smugness as well as a reeking wardrobe of thrift store clothes coated in someone else’s dry hump stains.
And really, Jeff McRod, what did you edit? The fucking mop water?
Unless your ONLY SOURCE OF INCOME IS WRITING AND EDITING, you don’t get to label yourself as either. Are you a member of the WGA? Have any credits? Anyone ever paid you to write?
Highly amused to IMDB Jeff and his editing career– looks like some shorts and student films, probably all unpaid. No shame there, and best of luck and all.
But the funny part is that the BIO/TRIVIA part is already filled in. Since you’re hardly an established talent or celebrity, one can only assume you filled that in yourself. Isn’t that a complete tool move? Really, you’re not a little embarrassed that you did that?
Don: Flatulate? Wait, are you saying Transformers will give me gas?
Transformers clips on the web:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfhvQAPujds
LexG: Lay off Joseph Sargent. The Taking of Pelham 123 is a classic, Terrible Joe Moran was an affecting swan song for James Cagney, White Lightning is one of Burt Reynolds’ best ’70s movies and Tribes is of the best 90-minute TV movies of the 1970s (right up there with Duel and Brian’s Song). Geez, next you’ll be saying Michael Curtiz and W.S. Van Dyke were hacks.
“Now, you guys – please tell me – I am an over age 30 female who loved Terminator 1 & 2, the Matrix, etc….will I like Transformers? I have no kids so have no prior knowledge of their robots – I just like kickass action.”
I’m 23 and my sister is 26 and we both thought Transformers was great fun. We knew the toys existed, but never had one (preferred Barbies). If you like action, you won’t be disappointed. It was and felt a bit long, but not unbearable. The experience was well worth the ticket price. Go see it. You’ll have fun.
BTW: I know the Bay haters will flame me for this, but I actually liked Pearl Harbor.
http://www.movingpictureshow.com/archives/mpsPearlHarbor.htm
So I can’t say I’m approaching Transformers with anxious dread.
Don,
I really admire you hanging out on this blog, vigorously defending your movie. But you have really avoided the arguments about what it will gross?
I will ask you one more time, as many have pointed out, already:
Do you really think that Harry Potter coming out, the very next week, will NOT dent the grosses of this film? Can you make any kind of sensible argument that as a property, the Transformers are more popular than Harry Potter with kids and young adults? It’s kind of like saying that in TODAY’S market, REM will sell more records than Coldplay.
Seriously, I look forward to your response.
Lex-
At least Jeff isn’t hiding behind a linkless name while stumbling through the blogosphere like a less maniacal Jekyl and Hyde…
Geoff, the question is legit – how much of an impact will DH4 and Potter have on TF? I think that DH is more of competitor, because we’re up to what, potter 5 by now? 8-18 males are going to go overwhelmingly to TF over Potter. Some of the 18-35 males will go to DH4. But 3 weeks out, I think TF will still have fuel in the tank, while DH4 will be falling off the charts. As a general rule, Bay’s movies have opened well, not spectacularly, and have good legs. So my guess at this point is that TF will actually perform domestically like a 25-50 mill smaller version of the Narnia #’s… or like ID4.. or somewhat like Jurassic Park 1. It may not be as good as some of those, but it shares their novelty, and will be bringing in cash well in August and early Sept.
yeah, i have to give props to Don for engaging in conversation here. Right or wrong, the man has moxy.
And i’m probably the last guy to step up to defend jeff, who conversing with at times feels like chewing on tin foil, but the flaming some of you guys are giving him is akin to the soulless AICN talkbacks, and i’d like to think we’re a little better than those guys.
for the record, some of the best writers i know are guys who do nothing but make shorts for no money. so i don’t think being paid is what qualifies you as being a writer. If we’re using dollar amounts to justify talent, then Akiva Goldsman, Paul Haggis and Joe Ezsterhas would be some of the best writers in the business. And i think we all know that is hardly the case.
Jeez, some of the name-calling and vitriol spewing from some of you guys is embarassing. Just because Don Murphy is a blowhard doesn’t mean everybody else has to be. And Don, I am actually a mentally-challenged janitor with no money, backhair, acne and a small penis. Also, I live in my mother’s basement.
I saw it tonight in a theater full of teenagers and 30-something dorks in Transformer headgear and T-shirts. I’ll say that the audience cheered and clapped at the end. But I turned to my girlfriend as we walked out and said, “Were we the only two people in that theater that hated it?”
That movie was awful, and I’m all about dumb summer fun. I really liked Live Free or Die Hard and even the last Pirates.
Michael Bay may look a workaholic genius stomping around a set, but the movies themselves form what may be the most expensive pile of garbage every assembled on film.
His visual style is sticking the camera up the ass of a scene and then cutting to another shot as quickly as possible. With action set pieces built using an obnoxious editing style stolen from the Monkees. Quality actors routinely give him their cornieste performances.
That’s what I call a hack. The movie director as bludgeoner, who makes unoriginal, low quality tripe aimed at the lowest common demonator of movie fans.
We can only hope that Bay’s “style” doesn’t crap all over Transformers.
Re: Transformers praise – this from the same critics and fans that Don has called morons at other times for liking crap blockbusters? Funny how perspectives are flexible when it comes to critical analysis of your own work.
Bay is no hack at all. I think as a commercial director with signature style, he’s unparalleled. He’s a superb technician but he mader some crappy coverage decisions in this flick. Do I think Transformers is good entertainment. Fuck no. Its a goddamn fucking mess. Maybe standards have fallen so low with subpar films like Pirates 2,3 etc that people practically quaff shit Salo style and are quite happy rolling in filth. Why couldn’t I have seen the film Don? The audience walked out somewhat tired from the session I saw.. why keep throwing bullshit hype out about ovations. Congrats you’ve made a film that will make money. It’s not a good film but what the fuck do I know I didn’t see it right Don?
I’m actually finding it hard to prove I did see it because there’s not one significant action sequence that I want to see again.. not one. That scorpion thing in the desert nearly worked but man – later on, we all talked and struggled to remember anything specific. Just wondering about the lousy continuity and why moustached transformer automans appeared in the decepticons at all. Strange and confusing decision that was. The hide around the house sequence is the one good gag in the film.. doesn’t work 100% but its the closest thing to fun in the film.
Bad film. End of story. Bring on GI JOE please Don.
A hack is a director that takes a paycheck and injects no passion or personal style into a piece. Bay is an auteur who, for better or worse, injects his personal style into every frame of every one of his films. You may hate his choices – but it is unfair to compare him with the many not-to-be-named directors out there that are hired guns and do bland work. Most well-known auteurs have their hardcore fans and their haters. Bay does have hardcore fans. I am not one, but I have met them, and they are proud and many. M.Night is another polarizing director, particularly since The Village. But he is also not a “hack”. So before we continue this asinine discussion, lets at least get the terms right.
Yes, you guys are being a little too hard on JMC. Although I was laughing a little at LexG’s IMDB outing, I wouldn’t call listing your alma mater as filling in “trivia” about yourself.
If you really wanted to be funny, you would have started a discussion about him on the IMDB message boards. Which would be preferrable to littering this forum with the name calling. While he comes off as a bit of a tampon at times (alright, at some point in almost every thread), he still has something interesting to say on a daily basis, which is more than I can say for about 90% of the people who show up here, who are either on the computer so many hours of the day they are slowly going insane publicly, or are too busy trying to impress others with their acerbic wit to make any kind of intelligent point. About anything.
I’m not going to say anything nasty about One-Take Woody Van Dyke, but Michael Curtiz WAS a hack. One of the best, but a hack none the less. While someone like Minnelli was a studio slave but still an auteur, Curtiz was far from it. You can watch a minor film from a truly great director and still get something out of it, but Curtiz didn’t have anything to say consciously or unconsciously that makes hunting down his lesser works worth the trouble.
Lex, what’s your problem, is Michael Bay your dad? Yes, my entire income, meager though it be, comes from editing and writing. There is a vast array of things you can write and not be a member of the WGA.
So how about you: are you a (Venezuelan artist and Wonder Woman fan, or the bride-to-be with a wheat allergy at bride-to-be with a wheat allergy?
That would have been better if I hadn’t screwed up the html, sucks to be me.
Geoff- I have never avoided the question. The end answer has been consistent- BIGGEST MOVIE OF THE SUMMER.
Josh Massey- well, there are always those people that don’t get it. Hell, you likely voted for Bush too. You were in a theatre of hundreds and were the only two haters? OUTSTANDING ODDS.
JBD- the second phrase in the run on sentence that ends your second paragraph is accurate to the letter. And I have nothing to do with GI Joe, that’s being done by one of the less talented names on the producer line.
I’m in the WGAw, does that mean my opinion is worth more than the rest of you?
Only if your credits are on IMDB, the mark of success.
I fear people will only use the IMDb to mock me.
Petaluma Films said:
“Lex-
At least Jeff isn’t hiding behind a linkless name while stumbling through the blogosphere like a less maniacal Jekyl and Hyde…”
Sooo, my opinions would be more worthwhile to you if only I provided a meaningless link to a random film Web site or, better yet, a MySpace page? Aren’t the latter for 12-year-olds? Shit, I’m sure I’ve posted on the Onion AV Club– maybe I ought to consider that my home site. See, I never click on those links anyway, but now that you’ve broached the subject, thanks for setting me straight. I always figured the pretentious moniker “Petaluma Films” implied that you ran some sort of indie production company of that name. Turns out you’re simply… a guy from Petaluma… who likes films. There’s no shame in that, and no shame in working an honest job or just being a little human and self-deprecating, but here, like in Hollywood itself, there seems to be a self-imposed shame for ever copping to not being a total insider, to ever be not “on.”
If I’m sensing a bristling after my posts, from you and others, I think it’s because I bask in calling people out over any and all forms of pretentiousness and pretending to be someone they’re not. On those counts, rabidly ridiculous and over-the-top though I can be, I’m surely hitting close to home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, at the risk of alienating more people: I get a very bullshit, soulless, constantly-schmoozing, constantly seeking out more important people to talk to, talking too loud at the Grove vibe from so many people on this blog.
It’s a vibe that in general doesn’t waft from people who are truly successful, truly in the biz. Think Tom Cruise, if he’s catching a flick in Century City or Beverly Hills, goes out of his way to talk loudly about business and check his BlackBerry at all times, just so everyone knows who he is? I sincerely doubt it. He also likely doesn’t fill in his own bio on IMDB or start a MySpace page identifying himself as an “actor” or “producer.”
What I get here and just about everywhere in this town, is a vibe of mostly nerdy kids from flyover country, half of whom still have out of plates, suddenly buying hipster clothes and trying to pass themselves off as cynical, seen-it-all insiders, ever fearful that they’ll get called out on the pretentious, self-escaping Podunk bumpkins they really are deep down.
I guess, sadly, those are elements that may now be necessities for up-and-comers in this business, and it’s probably true that I don’t have the persistence or the lack of self-awareness to constantly pimp myself as something I’m not in the hopes of fooling others into believing that I am. If I’m being negative or insulting or reducing the discourse to the level of AICN (God, I hope not), it’s merely a reflection of the joyless negativity and insufferable dick-measuring that informs nearly every post we read here. God forbid anybody ever be a little bit enthusiastic or soulful or self-deprecating, or, even worse, entertain the opinions of someone who isn’t– GASP OF GASPS!– in the business.
But the thing is it gets utterly absurd when people start mocking others around here using silly childish names. You might as well as “Jeff smells!” and turn yourself completely into an 11-year-old.
Don, it’s great to have someone around here and all but stop acting like a baby for crying out loud. There are people here who are legitimately interested in your opinion about issues such as Harry Potter and it’s effect on your films’ box office. Yet all you can sprout out there is the same line that you’ve been saying for weeks. Biggest movie of the summer? Fine, but you’re seriously acting like a child with your my-way-and-no-one-elses attitude. Geez.
Nevertheless, the movie’s getting decent reviews here in Australia and I’m hopefully seeing it tomorrow night (Saturday).
I don’t care if you’re in the business or not. I think you’re all nuts.
I wasn’t trying to be pretentious. I was just wondering if being in the WGAw suddenly made my opinions more valuable (since you asked Jeff if he was in the WGA in an apparent attempt to undercut his bona fides). I don’t think they do (I couldn’t even begin to tell you anything about the box office prospects of Transformers or any other movie. All I know is that I will see it because it passes my “Does it have a cool car in it?” test), but that seemed to be where you were going with that.
I don’t know anything about acting like a hipster or hanging out at the Grove. I’ve had the good fortune to not yet have to leave Texas, Podunk as it may be.
It’s also been my experience that screenwriters, in general, don’t talk loudly on their cellphones, largely because the second somebody hears you’re a screenwriter, they want to bore you with some horrible idea they have for a movie that they just know is going to make a billion dollars and you can write it and you’ll split the money 50/50.
But maybe that’s just what happens to me.
“It’s also been my experience that screenwriters, in general, don’t talk loudly on their cellphones, largely because the second somebody hears you’re a screenwriter, they want to bore you with some horrible idea they have for a movie that they just know is going to make a billion dollars and you can write it and you’ll split the money 50/50.
But maybe that’s just what happens to me.”
no, it’s not just you.
the fix-all is this. when someone asks what you do, tell them you’re in insurance.
Mr. Murphy, Double Dragon is no longer the worst film on your resume.
Josh
we established here and elsewhere that Double Dragon jokes followed by Quentin hit you jokes are the predictable bastion of cretinous down’s syndrome mongoloids of minimal age. Thank you for clarifying your status. As far as your jealous attacks go, believe you me, your alleged hatred of the film only warms my smile and means nothing to anyone alive.
Don…remember when Quentin hit you? That was funny…
RDP-Any time I tell people I’m a screenwriter and that I make films, they almost always say, “Oh! You should do a movie about my life!” Or…”my dads, moms, uncles life…” Ugh. There’s no polite way to say, “if I don’t give a shit about you, why would everyone else?”
Lex-my point was, most of us aren’t afraid to say who we are-and my moniker leads to the site I write for. I’m not saying you’re less of a person because you don’t link to a site that’s yours, I’m just saying random fly-by-night namecalling and trolling with no link makes you look like you’re everyday anonymous web geek who gets off stirring the pot while knowing no one can like, find you.
Incidentally, your last few posts about actual film stuff have been smart and right on. Makes me think that someone else uses your handles when we get the “Male Ego” Lex posts. Maybe those are just satire gone wrong.
IMDB listing? Hah! Pshaw! I have an IMDB listing, a Wikipedia listing, a mention in Who’s Who in America — and I’m still a nobody.
And I still think Double Dragon was goofy fun.
“What I get here and just about everywhere in this town, is a vibe of mostly nerdy kids from flyover country, half of whom still have out of plates, suddenly buying hipster clothes and trying to pass themselves off as cynical, seen-it-all insiders, ever fearful that they’ll get called out on the pretentious, self-escaping Podunk bumpkins they really are deep down.”
You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you’ve tried so desparately to shed? Pure West Virginia. What’s your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you… all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars…while you could only dream of getting out… getting anywhere… getting all the way to the FBI.
Hi Don, question for you. Haven’t seen Transformers yet. Is there any model work in the movie? )And if I’m not using the right term, I guess I’m asking if there are any non-CGI Transformers.) And if not, did you guys ever look into the possibility?
Are you guys still talking movies or just measuring dicks at this point?
Anyway, I’m getting the distinct feeling that Transformers will be the one to beat this summer. Harry 5 may keep it from beating Spidey 3, but it will keep Harry 5 from beating Pirates 3.
I also get the distinct feeling that come the end of summer I’m going to be seeing Don Murphy’s name pissed in the beach sand, only it’ll be in JeffreyBoamsDoc’s handwriting.
JBD is so old and cantankerous he uses a catheter and a bag and cannot piss anywhere but down his leg.
Transformers is going to be huge. Anyone arguing otherwise is kidding themselves because they hate Bay. I went to see Die Hard 4 last night, and there was a “special screening” of Transformers at the theater I went to (Don, what up with that? It wasn’t a sneak, it was completely unadvertised. Even the theater only listed it as a “special screening”. They were hand stamping folks. Huh?) and the excitement of the folks in the LOOOOONG line was palpable. Virtually everyone I know, movie lovers and people indifferent, want to see the film.
Don’s right – biggest film of the summer. I haven’t seen it yet, so I have no idea if it’s any good or not but this thing is gonna be a juggernaut, bitch.
Do not know what city you amble in, man, but lots of special screenings this week- build excitement when you know you have the goods.
Hey, no doubt, Transformers will make bank. I’m not going to try and deny it. (Hell, it probably already made a profit with the 40,000 absurd, subtle-as-a-tackhammer product placements.) The 18-and-under crowd is going to love it.
That doesn’t mean I will pretend it has any redeeming value beyond its admittedly great effects. A movie has to have more than effects to hold my attention more than 20 minutes, and Transformers had nothing beyond. I think you know this Mr. Murphy, or you wouldn’t be so defensive.
Joshua
Postings are tonally neutral. I am not defending- I am mocking and laughing AT you.
Jesus Christ, Don Murphy, next presidential election, you’re my fucking write-in candidate. Why can’t you stop PWNing all of these guys? Huh? What is it about you that makes you have to PWN these pretentious motherfuckers, night and day? Fistfuck their delicate souls for me, you glorious, glorious bastard.
Actually, Mr. Murphy, you should be thanking me. These comments and my full review (just click on tha’ name!) are probably lowering the high expectations brought on by that very well-made trailer.
Now people will only be thinking, “Man, that was sorta shitty,” instead of the full-on, “Man, that was really shitty.”
I’d like to make Mr. Murphy a gentleman’s bet… if Transformers is the highest grossing movie of the summer, I’ll buy him a hot dog at Pink’s. If not, he buys me one. Summer season ends Labor Day.
Are you game, Mr. Murphy?
I’ve talked to about a dozen people who have seen “Transformers” at this point and they’ve all loved the thing. One girl spoke highly of it despite having spent much of the past ten years denouncing Bay as “everything that’s wrong with H-wood” (personally, I love Bay and relished the five minutes I got to work with him on a project). I can’t wait to see the flick and just push the memory of the four not-so-great “three-quels” that opened the summer out of my mind and get to the meat (meaning: the films that know it’s summertime): “Transformers,” “Ratatouille,” “Bourne,” “Die Hard,” etc.
To that, I caught a BAFTA screening of “Die Hard 4.0” last night at Fox and have to say, I thought it was great, unpretentious fun – a crazy remake of “Under Siege 2: Dark Territory” with more than a few shades of “16 Blocks.” And even weirder, I have to say that I even enjoyed the “dastardly plot.” 99% of “evil plans” are usually silly (anybody remember the “dehydrating water” from Jackie Chan’s “The Tuxedo?!?” WTF?!), but I found myself getting caught up and interested in how the whole “fire sale” went down in “Die Hard.”
“I can’t wait to see the flick and just push the memory of the four not-so-great “three-quels” that opened the summer out of my mind and get to the meat (meaning: the films that know it’s summertime): “Transformers,” “Ratatouille,” “Bourne,” “Die Hard,” etc.”
That is the gospel right there, good sir.
A lot id dick measuring, but a pretty civil conversation and nice to see some new folks inspired to join the conversation.
I don’t hate Bay. I think he is incredibly talented. But I actually feel like he was walking through it this time.
And I have no problem with Don drinking the Kool-Aid. Every once in a while, the Kool-Aid is right and everyone else is wrong. But more often than not, it’s the other way around. No question that the idea to make a Transformers movie speaks to a core base of a significant size. But we are also CGed up the ying yang these days and to get to the numbers Don believes in, the film needs to reach beyond the base. I just don’t see it happening.
What you’re missing is that Don is not drinking the Kool-Aid, he’s _selling_ the Kool-Aid.
No offense to Don, but I had never heard of DOUBLE DRAGON before today. The shot of Robert Patrick (in the hilarious Vanilla Ice wig) shown on imdb made me almost spit up my coffee. I am renting that motherfucker this weekend! As for Michael Bay, I’ll give him a shot. The two BAD BOYS movies were a hoot and I thoroughly enjoyed THE ISLAND. ARMAGEDDON, THE ROCK and CON AIR, however, were painful experiences I’d prefer to forget. And PEARL HARBOR? Say it ain’t so, Joe!
Michael Bay had nothing to do with Con Air.
BMC: Yep, I liked Pearl Harbor. I think A.I. and Bringing Out the Dead are great moves. I think Celine Dion’s performance at this year’s Oscars — yes, her musical performance during the Ennio Morriconne tribute — was moving enough to bring tears to my eyes. I think Michael Caine is the greatest screen actor of his generation. (Yes, more versatile than the 7-years-younger Al Pacino.) I think Paris Hilton got a raw deal from her prosecutor. Anything else you’d like to know?
“Anything else you’d like to know?”
Is it true that you once killed a grizzly with your bare hands?
Joe, I think you are 1/7th right.
William: No, the bear went for his knife, so I shot him.
“Anything else you’d like to know?”
Did you ever pick your feet in Poughkeepsie?
Cadavra: No, but I once saw a woman pedaling her ass on the street.
“Anything else you’d like to know?”
do you like gladiator movies?
Reminds me of that great old song, “I Gave My True Love A Bicycle, And Now She’s Pedaling It All Over Town.”
Hend: Yes, and I once spent time in a Turkish prison (for shooting a bear).
damn, i wish i could remember that quote of joker’s from “batman.” that would have been a good one too.
Hendhogan: Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moon light?
thought of it later too. just wasn’t by a computer. damn!
Don’t feel bad. I couldn’t remember it either, so I cheated and referenced IMDB.com.
never rub another man’s rhubarb?
Never.
Wow… who knew the best way to silence Don Murphy was to offer a wager with him?
Eddie- Truth cannot be silenced
I have no doubt the film will be Top Five. But not Top Dog. So how about my wager? What’s a four dollar hot dog if you truly believe in your product?
I have a wager with Jeff McDouche (who refused to come and confront me Sunday when invited) and David. That is all I can keep count of. Thank you for your kind offer. You’ll be happier when I win anyone it won’t cost you any meat.
Sunday? Huh? Where was I supposed to be? I suggested you buy me and my friends tickets for tonight or tomorrow and that’s where it stopped.
Don: Once again, good news and bad news. Saw “Transformers” at 8pm in one of the biggest auditoriums of the AMC 30 here in Houston — and I thought it was a blast. (Gee, Ernest Shackleton discovered a big-ass robot during his Endurance mission — who knew?) But there were lots of empty seats. Lots and lots and lots of empty seats. If the theater was more than a third full, I would be surprised. Maybe most folks think it’s opening tomorrow?
Isn’t July 3 the official release date?
It was totally sold out anyplace that I wanted to see it tonight (Arclight, Grove, Burbank) up to 11-12 or so, which is why I skipped it until tomorrow.
McD
In between the Lav cleanings you forget things. You asked me to buy YOU tickets not your friends (you have none anyway) and it didn’t stop there I invited you to the cast and crew screening and you pussied out.
Don, it’s incredibly easy to go back and read the posts on the “Merde that meets the eye” thread on June 30 from 7:09 to 7:18 pm. Why would I need multiple tickets for only myself, to hold my lard ass box of popcorn and gallon of soda? Why would I want to go to a cast and crew screening, so I could tell Michael Bay to his face that he’s a waste of talent?
If you want to meet in person in a spirit of friendly outreach and to prove that when you’re not online you’re a good guy, then I am agreeable to that; if you want to meet out of acrimony and rageaholic stubbornness, then I don’t see the point.