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David Poland

By David Poland

BYOB Monday

Congrats to editorial cartoonist RJ Matson on the birth of his new son, Milo.
Anything else going on out there?

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65 Responses to “BYOB Monday”

  1. CinemaPhreek says:

    From a website that will remain nameless, someone posted a slightly off topic reply that suggests a good Monday topic: unintended marquee LOL/LMAO’s.
    Either from a string of titles that become greater than the sum of their parts (ie BABY MOMA LEATHERHEADS IN THE VALLEY OF ELAH), misspellings or just your own stupidity (as in my example).
    My own entry:
    Back in the 80’s, I was driving home one night and caught the billboard for the Gamecock theater (long gone, alas) showing
    MEN DO
    out of the corner of my eye (it was an area infamous as a speed trap by the local Cayce cops).
    Only, my mind’s eye saw this: THE EVIL MENUDO.
    Which, many of my friends thought the sugar-pop group was…

  2. SJRubinstein says:

    I believe I experienced from that “X-Files: I Want to Believe” trailer what women experienced from the “Sex and the City” trailer. With all the promising stuff coming out this summer, I hate to say it, but I’m looking forward to “X-Files 2” now more than any of it.

  3. mutinyco says:

    Only thing happening today is Mega Fox…

  4. mutinyco says:

    Not to be confused with Mega Snake…

  5. T. Holly says:

    1) Speculate… how come David doesn’t go to Cannes?
    2) Michael Wilmington’s reviews here are better than they were in Chicago… how come?

  6. LexG says:


  7. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, if I register, can I hand it over to you?

  8. brack says:

    Megan Fox is hot, until you notice the “Brian” tattoo. Brian Austin Green is the last thing I want to think about when looking at Megan Fox.

  9. David Poland says:

    1. I am long on record on the Cannes issue. It’s expensive, irritating, and the elements that are relevant to my work are all available to me within two months of screening at Cannes.
    Specifically, it would have been lovely to love The Pianist, No Country For Old Men and/or Mystic River 8 weeks earlier than I did. But none of these movies became relevant in America until after I had plenty of chance to see them.
    The truth is, guys like Bob Koehler go to Cannes and make it worth the trip, focusing on the pictures that are least likely to end up getting a significant theatrical release here. But most of the press that goes ends up obsessing on Indiana Jones and other high profile stuff. The same is true in Toronto and to a lesser extent, Sundance, but there is a much closer call and response as an American journalist at those festivals.
    Cannes is a magic vacation for most journos these days, an insane expense in an era of DVD and news cutbacks. If many of the outlets who shell out for Cannes were serious about coverage, they’d be in Berlin and Venice as well. But they are not.
    It is my hope to start spending more money on European fests starting this fall… and maybe even return to Cannes next year. We spend a lot on festivals at MCN and Cannes is one I just don’t feel we have to do.
    That said, I will be appearing at The American Pavilion on Wednesday.
    2) Bringing in Wilmington to MCN was an acknowledgment of his history and skills. For him, it is also a chance to let loose and let the writing fly again after living inside a MSM box for a long time.
    My philosophy with all hires has always been to hire smart people and to let them float or sink on their merits. The puppetmaster thing works at EW, but it has never been of interest to me. The voice of MCN is built on diversity and strong ideas (and occasionally, the opportunity to grow into being a pro), not my ideas or opinions. As a result, I proudly disagree with my writers every single week.

  10. anghus says:

    In all my years writing, i never had an ordeal like i did with this one particular script which has gone through three deals over six years.
    Finally, i got the paperwork in for a deal which would see it going into production later this year. Not a huge film or anything, but there was part of me that believed it would never get made because every time it came close to production, someone would say ‘you know, this is kind of hard to market’ and the whole project would completely fall apart in subsequent months.
    So im sitting here staring at the paperwork with the slightest bit of anticipation and a lingering sense of dread that once again this thing is going to crash and burn like the hindenburg.
    its also my wedding anniversary today, so im planning on taking the Mrs. out to dinner.
    Oh, and i saw Speed Racer. Loved it.

  11. T. Holly says:

    You’re appearing as what, a MasterSlaveMaster?

  12. yancyskancy says:

    CinemaPhreek: Best one I ever saw was a drive-in marquee for this triple feature:
    Spy Kids
    Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles
    I found a pic of it here:

  13. IOIOIOI says:

    Brian owns Megan and it gives me the heebes. Yancy: that’s a good one.

  14. Aris P says:

    So Emile Hirsch just fired his agent, and UTA. Good move, kid. Because it was UTA’s fault Speed Racer was mis-marketed, mis-cast, and just a bad idea in general. Maybe I just can’t separate the actor from the kid he played in Into The Wild, but either way, he’s really starting to bother the fuck out of me.

  15. York "Budd" Durden says:

    I’m here in Columbia, SC, and glad to report that David O. Russell’s political satire “Nailed” resumed shooting this morning after the weekend SAG shutdown.
    Here’s hoping they get the financial probs worked out–I hear it is a funny and sharp script.

  16. rlipman says:

    Any thoughts on the likely effect of Capitol’s financial woes? While NAILED is back up and running, Nikki Finke has it that at least two other films are having problems now…any chance ThinkFilm or others could be affected?

  17. York "Budd" Durden says:

    I’m just a local writer here in SC, no insight into those questions.
    But since I have the floor: I think it is a shame that you can get the Speed Racers of the world financed to the tune of $150m (or whatever), and little films that might have something more significant to say have to struggle. Just IMO, of course.
    And I don’t mean that because SR is a financial disaster or that I wanted it to fail. I just like the kind of movies that Russell makes vs the big FX orgasms. I guess in retrospect, the fact that I Heart Huckabees got made at all (and with that cast!) is kind of a miracle.

  18. rlipman says:

    Thanks for the comments, York…was actually wondering if David had any thoughts on Capitol, but I’m not much used to posting on blogs, so my apologies if that wasn’t clear 🙂
    Can’t say I’m a huge fan of David Bergstein/Capitol’s aesthetic choices in general, tho I agree it is a shame indies have to struggle for financing…any thoughts, David?

  19. York "Budd" Durden says:

    LOL–I was sort of hoping you meant it for DP and not me. I definitely ain’t the guy to ask, and by a long shot. ;^)

  20. rlipman says:

    Haha, thanks for the response anyway 🙂

  21. IOIOIOI says:

    Aris: keep your hate on away from Speed Racer. I do agree that firing all of those people was a total dick move on his part, but the movie was not a bad idea. You know what a bad idea was? Warners not ripping off the CARS ad campaign.

  22. jeffmcm says:

    Aris didn’t say a single thing about the movie.

  23. jeffmcm says:

    Whoops, never mind about that last post.

  24. doug r says:

    Second theater many years back-12 Monkeys had moved screens, so the Woody Harelson movie now showing was MONKEY TRAIN.

  25. LexG says:

    Did she just live in the house with the family? That would OWN to have a LIVE-IN RICCI.
    Things that OWNED:
    RICCI, Goodman, Roger Allam, FOX, that crazy, awesome cross-country race, especially the ice tunnel part, the colors, the flashback scene where young Speed watched the race with his dad, the Asian chick, Royalton’s HOT-ASS secretaries, the Japanese dude from Last Samurai.
    Things that RUINED THE MOVIE:
    Spritle. Thanks for Jake Lloydin’ the movie, kid. I was just EMBARRASSED watching some kiddie crap with a fat kid and monkey eating candy and zooming around in fast motion.

  26. jeffmcm says:

    Spritle and the monkey were the best parts of the movie, as far as I was concerned. Ricci was barely in it (which is fine with me because I haven’t liked her in a movie for years).

  27. IOIOIOI says:

    Lex: you are hating on Sprittle? Man. I am at a loss for words. Few things are better than a monkey hyped up on goofballs! My fave ending credit sequence this year so far.

  28. The best funny marquee I’ve seen was
    Erin Brockovich
    My Dog Skip

  29. LexG says:

    Jeff, I’d say that RICCI OWNS YOUR ASS, but I don’t want the image and my head and you wouldn’t deserve the juxtaposition anyway after dissing her like that. She RULED so effing hard in Black Snake Moan I couldn’t even stand for half an hour after the movie.
    IO, monkeys are cool, but that kid was annoying, and any scene with him was embarrassing.

  30. LexG says:

    Aside from all that, did anyone else spend the entire time wondering if Speed’s crew man/mechanic was either Dax Shepard affecting an Aussie accent, or Dwight Yoakam’s son from Down Under?

  31. IOIOIOI says:


  32. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, please remind me to never have a conversation with you again. It’s unpleasant. I get more out of IOI because at least I know he’s not putting on an act.

  33. LexG says:

    Says the man who likely refreshes 10 times a minutes just itching to pounce with a reply to any- and everything I post. (Though you seem to do that for everyone and on every subject, so maybe I’m not all that special.)
    Anyway, I don’t know what I said that was unpleasant, other than offering a succinct appraisal of the It movie du jour. You’re the one who bad-mouthed an AWESOME actress with your typical blunt-bait routine.

  34. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, I’m just incredibly tired of you talking about your goddamn boners.

  35. LexG says:

    Damn, I should have stopwatched that one.

  36. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, the surprise shouldn’t be that I respond to you when you act infantile; it’s that you’ve cock-thwapped everybody else into submission and acceptance of your bizarre behavior.
    Seacrest out.

  37. LexG says:

    Anybody know if RICCI is on MySpace?
    I bet she would think I own.

  38. scooterzz says:

    not to undervalue lexs ‘bizarre behavior’ but, really mcmahon, io barely approaches english in his bizarre behavior…..
    now i have to go look up ‘cock-thwapped’…..

  39. Earl Hofert says:

    Back to the oddball marquee listings.
    One time, while strolling through a predominately gay neighborhood of Chicago, I noticed that the area movie theater was showing “Faces of Death,” of all things, as a midnight movie attraction. Thus, when they added it to the marquee along with the main feature, it read:

  40. IOIOIOI says:

    His bizarre behaviour? You in particular Jeff bash the hell out of him. While Camel treats him in the fashion people like Camel treat people. So it’s not for a lack of trying that Lex is who he is — act or not.
    Again… unless Heat post that he wants him to stop. He’s not doing anything wrong. Why some posters have to REGULATE on other posters in this thread, remains a mystery to me.

  41. IOIOIOI says:

    Scoot… it’s not my fault you are an old ass cracker. Seriously… get a handle on your life.

  42. scooterzz says:

    ‘old ass cracker’?????…is that an ageist, gay slur?

  43. Joe Leydon says:

    IO: “old ass cracker” is ageist and racist. Behave, or the PC police will beat down your door.

  44. Wrecktum says:


  45. IOIOIOI says:

    Joe: it stands. If you want to act that way. You get treated that way. He personally insults me time and time again. He can deal with the way he comes off to me. If you got a problem. What’s those two words Mr. Paul Levesque?

  46. jeffmcm says:

    Speaking of obscure references, Scooterz, I think of IOI as sort of a cross between Henry Darger and Timmy from South Park. Lex gets my goat more because he actively chooses to be someone other than the reasonably intelligent, articulate person he can be sometimes, in favor of puking in our collective faces and acting surprised that we don’t thank him for it.

  47. I’m pretty sure I only treat Lex and IO the way I supposedly “treat people”. If I treat anyone else like I do them then I sincerely apologise.
    Although I’m not exactly sure what “people like (me)” means? Gay? Australian? What else could you be referring to?

  48. I’m pretty sure I only treat Lex and IO the way I supposedly “treat people”. If I treat anyone else like I do them then I sincerely apologise.
    Although I’m not exactly sure what “people like (me)” means? Gay? Australian? What else could you be referring to?

  49. scooterzz says:

    mcmahon — i know what you mean (your analogy is perfect) but i do find lex amusing while io just pisses me off….
    Although I’m not exactly sure what “people like (me)” means? Gay? Australian? What else could you be referring to?
    i think he means attractive with a great eye for poster/commercial art….jus’ sayin’…

  50. sorry. I swear this program just decides to fuck with us sometimes. There is a 15 minutes time difference between my accidental two replies! How does that happen?

  51. scoot, teehee. thanks a bunch!

  52. brack says:

    you people. you know who you are.

  53. leahnz says:

    io, allow me to introduce you my little friend, the fucking comma. learn it, love it, use it… maybe then you’ll be less of a tosser. really

  54. leahnz says:

    maybe i should use proper english in a post criticising someone’s puncuation: allow me TO introduce… blah blah blah

  55. leahnz says:

    i messed that up TWICE! bloody hell
    allow me to introduce you TO my little friend…

  56. leahnz says:

    puncTuation. i’m on a roll! just shoot me now

  57. scooterzz says:

    leah — at this point, i’d just go with the ‘it’s the thought that counts’ defense…..
    not to worry…. anyone going with your ‘just shoot me now’ will have to shoot a few of us first…..

  58. leahnz says:

    thanks, scoot… that takes a bit of the sting out of my self-inflicted humiliation!

  59. Oh, Leah. Bless ya lil cotton socks.

  60. Oh, and by the way, S&tC is indeed 135 minutes long. I’ve seen some cinema session times for cinemas down here and they label it at 145 minutes, but they ad 10 minutes for trailers/ads so, yep, 135 minutes it is.
    Which, it must be said, could be excellent or terrible. Excellent because, hey, this could very well be the final time we ever see new S&tC material so why not give us bang for our buck. Or terrible, because… well, you know.

  61. djk813 says:

    As far as European fests to check out, may I recommend Karlovy Vary? It was one of the most enjoyable times I’ve had at a festival, and it’s very reasonable financially once you get there (which is admittedly no small expense these days).

  62. Cadavra says:

    Perhaps Leah’s having punctuation problems because she’s on her period.
    You’re a wonderful audience! G’night, everybody!

  63. Noah says:

    Weirdest remake news of the year: Nicolas Cage starring in a Werner Herzog directed version of The Bad Lieutenant…what??!
    I seriously don’t even know what to say, it’s just so damn strange.

  64. LexG says:

    MS. 45, DRILLER KILLER, FEAR CITY, and especially KING OF NEW YORK similarly OWN ALL.

  65. leahnz says:

    girlish giggle, kam

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon