You know, I love it when a commenter has a stroke of genius… or in some cases, just a stroke.
But seriously, folks…
The idea of the BAT HAIKU came up and, heck, why not give it a try?
Nolan up to Bat
So much more than a comic
But a comic still
The Joker is cool
Makes The Batman just a mouse
Dent’s teeth feel the breeze
Your turn…
And yes, there will be a prize. (We’ll figure out what it is in time.)
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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?
So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.
And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.
There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.
I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.
So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.
But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”
My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher
“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.
~ David Simon
Fun!
The Bat Rules Oh-Eight
But Titanic It Is Not
Who Cares, Lex says OWNS
Batman pounds his fist
Gordon feels of fragile grace
Dent is lost to them
fist fights, explosions
spectacular car chases
what is not to like?
Pricy tickets sure
But six bucks for soda, please!!!
Next time bring a flask
Maggie G is hot
No collagen or implants
Wish I could quit you…
Despite a weak plot
Imax made the film worthwhile
Ledger stole the show
Dent needs a skin graft
Batman needs a throat lozenge
Nolan needs a raise.
The Bat takes much cash
In a down economy
Warner Brothers laughs
Titanic still rules
Over The Dark Knight’s attempt
And IO goes nuts
Scoot is a Japanese Girl
He enjoys Hello Kitty
as Titanic rots in hell.
Not to impune his character
but I own a Sailor Moon figure
won her in a trade.
Stepbrothers and The X-Files:
I Want to Believe?
I Believe in Harvey Dent!
yeesh, there should be no “the” above
Haiku has some rules
IOIOIOI
Know them or don’t “play”
Not Batman related, but I couldn’t resist. 🙂
thanks Dave. I’ll work on some as soon as I make my deadline. I hope a night with Javier Bardem is one of the prizes.
Da na na na na
na na na na na na na
na na na BATMAN!
In honor of the talk radio I heard yesterday…
Is Batman George Bush?
Larry Elder sure thinks so.
Shut up and enjoy.
Alfred remains loyal
Protects Batman from bad news
Michael Caine is God
would it be fitting to do a brief rundown of haiku etiquette for those who might wish to participate but aren’t into poetry? (i hope so cause i’m gonna):
three lines,
5 syllables
7 syllables
5 syllables
i want to do a beautiful haiku, but cynical haiku came to me instead:
behold the dark knight
soars as warner bros. laughs all
the way to the bank
I haven’t seen it.
Just not in the mood, I guess.
Bailed on X-Files, too.
Batman covers his.
The Joker uses makeup.
Harvey’s is revealed.
Batman in the end
Becomes just like Bokonon
Vonnegut better
black bat fights the dark
joker’s mind is melted like
the paint on his face
Tiny Lister owns
Katie Holmes is the hotness
Catwoman too weak
Nolan owns your ass
Sound design modeled on Heat
Michael Jai White back
J M C is douche
But IO is comic gold
And you should not play
Eckhart back in form
No “she looks like that dead girl”
Fuck, that movie sucked
Hong Kong sequence cool
Haterz just don’t know their shit
Hard PG-13
Vans and parking lots
Clearly modeled after HEAT
Critics don’t notice
2.35 to 1
Is best aspect ratio
Films shot flat don’t count
Batman clearly Bush
Movie says Bush says Bush justified
Third term would be cool
Odd that Batman hit
Since nothing comic ’bout it
Relentless crime flick
jason bateman is
arrested development
batman fans are too
Batman in Imax
Large format makes picture clear
Plot still makes no sense
The Bat Dude is hot
But just for today. Next year:
Lost Skeleton Rules!
Love the first two Bats
Too bad three will blow like The
Bat Ultimatum
Chris can’t quit the bat
There ain’t no reins on Ledger
Eckhart will be back
The joker twitches
Now Laugh mthrfckr laugh
Why so serious
The scarecrow is gas
Of mental horrors untold
Exile Ireland
Bat somber heart beats
Love not as deep as courage
Take back the good night
Gotham is batty
Tiny lister is ratty
Girlfriend bites the dust
Bats over gotham
Yankees can burn in hell, please
Mets in first place now
Madge is a yankee
A-rod has lost it big time
wife will sue his ass
So far Lota wins.
You mean besides our hearts?
A heatwave blast
through worldly theaters
black sweeps up the green
No Prince No Carrey
no flashing lights no nipples
that is how its done
Finnally found groove
after six times at the Bat
Grand Slam Homerun hit
Prayers for the next
Have Nolan placing Mirren
In catwoman suit
Constipation at box-office
This town needs an enema
Indy flushed away
Brutal so dark
An assault of the senses
As well as Bales family
Sad that they did that
To Aaron Eckhart
Oh which Knight to choose
Dark or Tale
One has Queen but the other has Bale
Sorry, that ended up being a rhyme!!
Bat feeling throaty
James Earl Jones or Barry White
Or too many smokes
Gut churning ballet
Set to two note symphony
Holds me to my seat
Child to young to see
Avoid the question
Who doth the bat hit
hardest? he of endless grins
or his momsy?
oops just realized I miscounted:
Who doth the bat hit
hardest? he of endless grins
or the momsy Bale?
There once was a man named bats
Who defends when the joker attacks
He brings the smoke and the noise
With his wonderful toys
But Dent still gets mentally cracked
(sorry, wrong thread)
Leaves childhood sweetheart
Spends nights seeking out, pouncing
flamboyant man, hmmmmm
Big hits clear the muck
Jeff Robinov gets one right
Broken clock right twice
Christopher Nolan
Along with Ledger and Bale
Gave the Franchise Life
Nolan owes me Hanes
Made me soil my britches twice
Back for fear; front – joy
Ledger is haunting.
He steals the entire movie.
So much Oscar buzz.
A flip of the coin
I have two faces, two sides
both lives disfigured
I love fine jewels
I steal them and tempt batman
he loves me always
gotham is darkness
crime feeds the vigilante
and saves the hero
joker runs amok
Did werner herzog film this?
self destructing fiend
Ledger wins Oscar
A sequel is on the way
Does this make you sad?
Bats falls eighty floors
Harvey’s still in the closet
where’d The Joker go?
Thread convoluted
Just like overrated flick
End misery please
Like deepening knives
One building, piercing note score
Best strings work since Jaws?
Indy disappoints?
Wall-E good, not fantastic?
Send in the clown, bitch
Titanic dollars?
This ain’t no four-quadrant film
My mom hated it
Creepiest request
in geek dress-up sex play now:
“You be Joker Nurse”
Not best strings since Jaws
Strings ripped off from The Shining
Nolan no Kubrick
Last I saw Shining
I was thirteen. Remember
only naked chick.
Naked chick was hot
But turned into an old hag
Jack good but jack not
VCR exists
To pause when pause is needed
Mission accomplished
VCR is old
DVD sixteen by nine
Play with us Danny
HOT BLOG GONE FAGGY
KEYBOARD THUGS NOW ALL FAIRY
EVEN LEX KINDA FRUITY
I was thirteen, dude
VCR was all we had
Are we off-topic?
Homophobia
Perhaps a bit too nervous
Yet oddly funny
candy colored clown
they call the Joker tiptoes
to my room every —
shit.
forgot the whole thing
five minutes after watching
just like “Memento”
struggling, wracking brain
to find one nice thing to say:
Thank God for Deebo!
last bat haiku…
The Gotham Joker
a permanent smile is carved
on The Man who Laughs
Is Bruce Wayne a bat?
gooble, gobble one of us
isolated freak