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David Poland

By David Poland

BYOB – Manic Monday

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42 Responses to “BYOB – Manic Monday”

  1. mutinyco says:

    Do you think Susanna ever sings that for Jay?…

  2. sloanish says:

    The X-Files was pretty amazing in how boring it was. I know it was a rush job, but geez.

  3. Jay who?? I looooove me some Susanna Hoffs…

  4. yancyskancy says:

    Roach. Which ‘splains why Susanna pops up in Austin Powers.

  5. doug r says:

    The Allnighter. Now THAT’S a BORING movie.

  6. ployp says:

    I didn’t know they were making a third Underworld film. Beckinsale won’t be appearing in it though since it’s about Viktor’s daughter Sonia and her Lycan lover, Lucian.
    And what exactly is The Spirit about? I saw the trailer but don’t want to go to wikipedia lest I learn too much.
    The Watchmen trailer looks promising.

  7. IOIOIOI says:

    Ployp: The Spirit is about a detective, who helps to protective a city, and has female trouble. It’s also a flick that apparently came across rather horribly at the Con. So here’s to Frank redeeming himself after what he did to ROBOCOP… TWICE! The jetpack thing was pretty cool and well executed for a mid-90s film, but the rest sucked.

  8. LexG says:

    Now to make a point about THE SPIRIT.
    OK, first of all, I know it’s still vaguely a Frank Miller thing, but did they need to do it IN THE EXACT SAME STYLE as SIN CITY?
    How about, I don’t know, mixing it up JUST A NOTCH? They should’ve just called this shit SIN STATE or something.
    Also, the fact that the dude is wearing some RAYMOND NAVARRO silent movie outfit in a movie ostensibly about hardcore crime shit is BOUND to get some awkward laughs; It’s like SIN CITY starring the Zorro motherfucker from the fantastical segments of Tarsem’s THE FALL.
    And all that aside, if you’re gonna have WORLD-CLASS HOTNESS in your movie, you goddamn better cast a MALE LEAD who can hold his own. GABRIEL MACHT, LEADING MAN???? Are you SEEEEEEEERIOUS?
    GABRIEL MACHT playing opposite SCARLETT JOHANSSON and EVA MENDES????? What, was LOREN FUCKING DEAN booked that month or something? Fuck, GARRETT HUDLUND looks like Johnny Depp compared to Gabriel Macht. Was there some board meeting where this man was OK’d for LEADING MAN STATUS?
    You throw MACHT in there with SLJackson, Mendes, and Johansson, he is going get OWNED right off the screen. Damn.

  9. LexG says:

    Oh, by the way…

  10. IOIOIOI says:

    “Also, the fact that the dude is wearing some RAYMOND NAVARRO silent movie outfit in a movie ostensibly about hardcore crime shit is BOUND to get some awkward laughs; It’s like SIN CITY starring the Zorro motherfucker from the fantastical segments of Tarsem’s THE FALL.”
    While the Masked Bandit rules. This may be one of the funniest paragraphs ever posted on this blog.

  11. LexG says:

    OK this is BYOB so I can conceivably bring up anything.
    It sucks when you see some DOUCHEBAG rolling with some SMOKING HOT CHICK in like black clothes and heels and shit and you’re like, HOLY FUCK THAT CHICK is FUCKING HOT.
    It SUCKS because usually you’re all by yourself or looking like a DOUCHE so you can’t COMMAND that shit.
    That shit is BURNT yo.
    FUCK the world sucks.

  12. LexG says:

    OH, and something more film-related.
    Why is D-PO not mentioning the oncoming BOX OFFICE POWERHOUSE that IS “Twilight”?????
    This is not LOST BOYS. This is like the new HARRY POTTER, only for ugly Emo kids. This shit is going to COMMAND the fucking INDUSTRY when it DROPS.
    TWILIGHT is THE BIGGEST THING AROUND and I don’t think Poland even knows. PREPARE yourselves. When TWILIGHT drops, it’s going to fucking OWN YOU.
    KRISTEN STEWART in 2009 = the $30 million actress.

  13. LexG says:


  14. Blackcloud says:

    Lex, we discussed Twilight a couple of weeks ago. Did you miss it? We all agreed it won’t come close to Harry Potter numbers. You seem to be in the minority on that.

  15. LexG says:


  16. EthanG says:

    Another 10.5 million for TDK on Monday….18th all time.
    My local IMAX has now sold out its first 38 screenings and counting…

  17. LexG says:

    The IMDB’s message board (yeah, I know) for TWILIGHT gets new posts virtually every SECOND, and is 50 PAGES DEEP with activity posted within the last 15 hours (I gave up after that.)
    That should tell you that this is going to be HUGE. BATMAN HUGE. HARRY POTTER HUGE. SPIDER-MAN HUGE. I know most of us are 20, 30, and 40 something males, and this is under or off our radar… but there is an ENTIRE MOVEMENT in this country of disaffected emo kids, and this shit is going to be like their BIBLE.
    There is NO underselling how ENORMOUS this thing is going to be. It is like a GENERATION-DEFINING MANIA. 100 MIL OPENING WEEKEND EASILY. Of course, it might drop off somewhat fast if it doesn’t gain traction with the other quadrants, but the fervor and fanaticism for this property is THE BIGGEST NEWS IN THE FILM WORLD NOW, and I think the bloggers are grossly neglecting it.

  18. Blackcloud says:

    Lex, the last book in the Twilight series comes out this Saturday. Did you know that? I ask because it is barely on the radar (in the mainstream media) save for that EW cover story a few weeks ago. $275 million is Harry Potter territory. Basically, you’re saying the movie of Twilight will be bigger than the books. That’s possible, but highly unlikely. Highly, highly unlikely. As a publishing phenomenon it’s not close to Harry Potter, and the Harry Potter books are much bigger than the Harry Potter movies. The Harry Potter books are a four quadrant property. Twilight is a niche (or genre if you want) property, not even two quadrants. For the movie to be as big as you say, it’ll have to find the other three quadrants the books don’t have. Which is to say, if the movie does as well as you think (and it might, one never knows), it won’t be because of the success of the books. It’ll have to do it on its own. I’ll be more inclined to give it some credence if the last Twilight sells 12 million copies this Saturday. Until then, color me skeptical.

  19. IOIOIOI says:

    Black, the ladies need their own franchises, and Twilight may be it. So I am going to go with Lex on this point because every freakin Twilight fan I know, is a FANATIC ABOUT THESE BOOKS! FANATICAL!
    The Twilight books may not be Harry Potter, but you do not have to be Harry Potter to make that much money. Heck, Potter films are not always guaranteed to make that much money at the box office. So I am going with this flick having a chance to make bank and surprise people.
    I mean… it’s 2008! LET’S SURPRISE PEOPLE!

  20. Cadavra says:

    Lex, who’s Raymond Navarro? Was he any relation to Ramon Navarro?
    Oh, and The Lost Skeleton OWNS your ass. And Twilight’s asses as well.

  21. dietcock says:

    >>”What, was LOREN FUCKING DEAN booked that month or something? Fuck, GARRETT HUDLUND looks like Johnny Depp compared to Gabriel Macht.”< Seriously, can anybody truly look him/herself in the mirror and doubt the starggering genius of LexG. He doth write circles round us all.

  22. LexG says:

    Now sorta wishing I had watched the TWILIGHT teaser trailer BEFORE getting this invested in defending its box-office potential. Wow, that looks like 2003-era Renny Harlin directing a remake of THE INVISIBLE.
    Oh, well, I’m sticking to my guns… 275 MIL, since each of its 10 million or so fans will see it at least twice, and KRISTEN STEWART will GUARANTEE repeat business like only 1998 LEO before her.

  23. The Big Perm says:

    Yeah, that trailer does not look like a 275 million grosser. I had never heard of Twilight before when I saw the trailer in front of the Bat, and after it was over Renny Harlin was EXACTLY what I was thinking. The audience didn’t seem into it either. You could hear the “cheap lame movie” muttering going on.
    If huge fan bases made for hit movies, then we would have more hit video game movies than we have so far. How many people like the game of Doom or Silent Hill?

  24. Blackcloud says:

    Having just watched it for the first time, I’ll say it looks cheesy and generic. But I’ve seen much worse. And I’ll give them credit for not having a voice over.

  25. Lota says:

    Twilight will make bank, but not some of the high numbers people are throwing around here. Twilight is beloved yes but you are going to have to sell alot of $10 tix to make bank after budget and P&A. It is very niche. How many times do you think a teenage female will pay to see a movie? She won;t be able to buy new shoes and trendy Goth jewels so please…restrain yourselves.
    LexG I hope it is better than a Renny flick. What an awful thought.
    What kind of common sense do you have if you get a bad vibe about a film and you don;t revise your BO estimate? None?
    Lex your refusal to put down the vocal CAPS is starting to remind me of the Butabbe brothers’ means of communication. So 1997.
    Try to use no caps for 48 h–see if you can do that.
    The Renny H vibe was worth reporting, but not any of the ‘own’ biz on this page.

  26. movieman says:

    Does anyone know the story behind Lions Gate dumping of “Midnight Meat Train?”
    As I recall, this thing was originally slated to open wide-ish opposite “P. Caspian” on May 16th. Next thing you know it’s pushed back to August with a less-than-wide-ish release (100-screen count according to Filmjerk).
    Cut to the chase, “MMT” opens here (NE Ohio) first-run on Friday….at a frigging buck house.

  27. frankbooth says:

    Lex, are you telling me you’ve never been to Hot Chicks With Douchebags? No joke, it’s a real site.
    I will occasionally hear Dorothy Vallens giggling uncontrollably. I’ll peek over her shoulder, and inevitably it’s HCWD.
    Go there now, Lex. You will be hypnotized and outraged and will hurt yourself laughing. See you in a few hours.

  28. Lota says:

    I am watching Roxbury right now in honor of Lex (Steve Butabi).
    Dan Hedaya is wasted. He needs to be in more quality movies.

  29. Blackcloud says:

    “It’s hard to see how Twilight could ever approach Harry Potter as a cultural phenomenon for one simple reason: the series’ fan base is almost exclusively female.”

  30. Blackcloud says:

    Man, the Half-Blood Prince trailer makes it look like the movie will be even more like The Phantom Menace than the book was. Except I cared about Anakin Skywalker’s childhood. I couldn’t care less about Tom Marvolo Riddle’s. But maybe there’ll be less of it in the movie than there was in the book. That would be a considerable improvement.

  31. jeffmcm says:

    Movieman, thanks for the info, now I know to keep my eyes peeled extra wide for Midnight Meat Train, which I’ve been looking forward to since I saw the trailer in, I think, February.

  32. LexG says:

    For the record, I think the MEAT TRAIN trailer was first attached to GOOD LUCK, CHUCK last fall. (Though most film-geek types likely first saw it before RAMBO and BANK JOB several months later.)

  33. LexG says:

    Oh, and frankbooth… Yep, I’ve seen Hot Chicks W/Douchebags. Good stuff… gives me something to aspire to.
    Check out the awesome Lota, all coming around on the Lexman lately. She is fascinated!

  34. movieman says:

    Jeff & Lex- Yep, the “MMT” trailer has been kicking around for awhile, and I’ve always thought that it looked promising: certainly more interesting than another, yawn, LG “Saw” sequel. And Clive Barker’s name definitely made me sit up and take notice.
    The apparent dumping of the film (first-run at a buck house??!!) is really kind of depressing. A straight-to-video release would have been kinder.

  35. And to think, I was actually going to say I laughed at Lex’s comment about Sin State.
    Let’s all forget any mention of Renny Harlin. Nobody needs to be reminded of that.

  36. leahnz says:

    harlin may indeed be a boob, but i must admit i adore ‘the long kiss goodnight’, it’s one of those rather lame movies that i can watch again and again, whether it be for one of my fave sam jackson performances (he and geena have genuine chemistry) or whathisdoodle as the smug, sarcastic villian (i can’t think of his name right now cuz i’m crook), or brian cox’s line about the dog licking it’s ass, i don’t know what it is about that movie but i dig it. skulking away in shame now

  37. leahnz says:

    craig bierko (sp?)…my brain is on 10 second delay

  38. LexG says:

    Note for jeffymac…
    Damn, looks like I won’t be catching THE MEAT TRAIN, short of catching AN ACTUAL TRAIN out to the HIGH DESERT. The closest place it’s playing is… LANCASTER.
    Holy shit, that is a DUMPING. What gives? What’s the point? They couldn’t have booked a SINGLE ROOM in all of L.A. proper? Christ, not even a week at the Beverly Center or the Burbank 8 in the mall?

  39. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    If TWILIGHT doesn’t even make 50% of Lex’s estimate does that mean we all win a month holiday from him? Message boards bewteen 10 fanatics writing hundreds of posts does not translate into $275 domestic. TWILIGHT will be lucky to open to 15m.
    You forgot that part of the Emo makeup is being apathetic. They’ll all wait for the DVD.

  40. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, if I was in Los Angeles right now, I would be driving my ass to Lancaster to see the damn thing. Instead, Tiffany Plaza, here I come (a much more convenient drive).
    I’m glad Clive Barker could bring us together.

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Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon