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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Calling Dr Freud's… Janitor, Barber… Anyone, Really…

Sometimes a sword-covered-in-sticky-drippy-blood-that-El-Kabob’s-35-year-old-actress-top-should-be-smart-enough-to-know-is going-nowhere-and-the-actually-seeing-of-which-in-print-(complete-with-chainmail-push-up)-should-remind-her-that-she-should-be-chasing-Wes-Anderson-movies-and-not-licking-someone’s-mid-life-crisising-38-year-old-daddy-who-is-more-clever-than-talented is just a sword.
And sometimes, it’s a penis substitute for unsophisticated children, some of whom direct movies.
I have always held out hope that Rose McGowan, who has always shown signs of being more smartly earth-bound than the image, would find her place as a Bette Davis styled S&TC character. (The trouble is that as on-screen maneaters go, she makes

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89 Responses to “Calling Dr Freud's… Janitor, Barber… Anyone, Really…”

  1. yancyskancy says:

    I think I’ll wait for the actual movie before getting too bent out of shape over this, but I guess I take your point. Of course, I have no idea what kind of projects she’s been “chasing,” but chasing and getting are two different things, and it may be safe to assume that, like most actors, she’s had to make some less than ideal choices in order to have any kind of career at all. Would she have done five seasons of Charmed if Wes Anderson had been returning her calls?
    Still, Fifty Dead Men Walking and Black Oasis sound like interesting projects to me, especially the latter, in which she plays 50s B-movie actress Susan Cabot. Could be a Bette Davis type role for her, and it beats playing the girlfriend to some A-lister (artistically, if not financially), which is often the best case scenario for actresses above a certain age.

  2. yancyskancy says:

    In the above, I’m assuming Black Oasis is still going to be made, and with McGowan. imdb lists the production as “back on track.”

  3. LexG says:

    I find this poster appealing.
    On the flip side, I missed the old Rose McG from Doom Generation and Scream. She scarcely resembles herself of late.

  4. guy says:

    I don’t understand, she’s actually licking blood?
    Like someone else’s blood???
    Why is that sexy?
    Is she a vampire in the new movie? That seems like a plausible Rodriguez move.
    Or possibly it’s not someone else’s blood. Maybe it’s her own. Maybe that sword is how she got the cleft in her chin in the first place.

  5. LexG says:

    Boy!
    Oh, man, this will OWN.
    Need to see it first day.
    Especially if other hot chicks are in it.
    Rodriguez is awesome.

  6. hcat says:

    Well that poster is a relief, I was worried this project was going to end up trashy.

  7. Triple Option says:

    I don’t know if this is a good side note/clarification or not but don’t forget Heather Graham toplined her own (albeit one-n-done) series for ABC just a couple of seasons ago.
    I

  8. jeffmcm says:

    This is the same director who made Planet Terror and Sin City, so a certain amount of topping himself is in order. (Did DP just call Robert Rodriguez “El Kabob”?)

  9. Noah says:

    As long as this gets her off TCM, I don’t care what she does. Honestly, who over there thought she was an authority on classic movies?
    I used to love Red Sonja…when I was seven. Honestly, was the story so original and revolutionary that it warrants a remake? Can’t Rodriguez come up with his own medieval-chick-that-kicks-ass concept? Is it really worth the extra fifty bucks that will be raked in from “die-hard Red Sonja fans?” So many questions…

  10. hcat says:

    “As alluring and talented as the aforementioned are, at any point in their career could anyone pictured them playing the action heroine?”
    Moore was certainly tough enough in Hannibal, the movie overall was silly but she was believable as an FBI agent. Holly Hunter also played some sort of cop nicely in CopyCat. Again not a good movie but she had a commanding presence (despite her apparant 4 foot 2 inch height).
    That said I cant picture McGowen playing anything. Haven’t seen her in a film since Scream, and Rodriquez’s involvement would be the only thing that keeps this from going direct to video. (haven’t seen any distributor mentioned yet but this looks like Lionsgate material to me)

  11. jeffmcm says:

    I would have guessed it was an MGM/Weinstein plea for fast cash.

  12. hcat says:

    And Heather Graham rose more than a little bit higher in features than McGowen. She actually made movies, some of which were very popular. I certainly dont miss her now that she’s dropped off the studio radar but McGowen was never really on it.

  13. Joe Leydon says:

    Actually, Holly Hunter is kicking a great deal of ass as the lead of Saving Grace on TNT right now.

  14. I do miss Heatgher Graham. Her performance in the forgotten From Hell was one of the best of 2001. In fact, From Hell was ahead of its time. it was one of the first of the non-superhero, graphic-novel adaptations that took the form seriously.
    It is a crime that The Hughes Brothers aren’t working more. Menace II sociert remains one of the most powerful movies about the inner city ever made. Dead Presidents is flawed, but when it works it is astonishing.
    And American Pimp is one the best documentaries of the decade. It would get more respect if it had Errol Morris’ name attached.
    I hope their HBO Wire-like show about pimps and ‘ho’s takes off.

  15. yancyskancy says:

    Yeah, I don’t think anyone’s knocking on her door with feature leads except Rodriguez (who doesn’t have to knock). I thought she was great in both Grindhouse roles (the Death Proof role was essentially a cameo, but she brought real pathos to her key scene, IMO). But the box office failure of that project didn’t give her much to build on. I don’t see the downside of her doing Red Sonja. Either it propels her to a few years of viable leading lady status or, y’know, not. Either way, I wouldn’t be surprised to see her in another TV series within 5 years.
    Still haven’t seen her on TCM, because I’ve usually already seen all those “Essentials” a few times. Is she embarrassing herself? From what I’ve read, it sounds like she’s a big fan of classic cinema. Frankly, even Robert Osborne has trouble sounding like much of an expert during his brief intros and outros. He usually just rattles off some trivia tidbits. Maybe “The Essentials” is different and requires some actual back-and-forth about the films?

  16. Hallick says:

    As far as Heather Graham goes, I don’t let myself write off anybody’s career. As huge as Heath Ledger is right now, does NOBODY else remember that he was all but sealed inside a plane back to Australia after “The Order” and “The Four Feathers”? People wrote a lot worse things about him back then, but all he needed was “Brokeback Mountain” to catapult his credibility higher than it had ever been before.
    I don’t know if Heather Graham could actually turn it all around like that, but she’s done a lot of good movies before.

  17. jeffmcm says:

    It’s harder for women, not to mention that Heather Graham never (to my knowledge) really has proven herself as a thespian the way Ledger had.

  18. leahnz says:

    no offence, hallick, but comparing heather g. to heath l. may not be the most apt choice…one couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag if her life depended on it while the other…owns the paper bag company…or something along those lines

  19. IOIOIOI says:

    It’s called TV, David. It’s the place beautiful people like Graham go, when the feature people want to ignore her. She will pop up again. She also does not have to work, David. ABC did have to pay her off.

  20. leahnz says:

    sorta channeling scoot with all those dots…

  21. jeffmcm says:

    I’m also glad that it’s a Red Sonja remake and not a Barbarella remake – I mean, doesn’t this fit the category of ‘movie that wasn’t that great in the first place’ that people are always saying are the ones that should get remade, as opposed to upcoming remakes like Pelham 123 or My Fair Lady?

  22. LexG says:

    Heather Graham still headlines plenty of movies… they’re usually limited-release rom-coms or kinky thrillers, but Blockbuster’s new release section is rife with middling titles with her on the cover (Broken, Grey Matters, etc.)

  23. Martin S says:

    If Graham does not have to work, why did she do episodic in the first place? IIRC, didn’t she do a pilot that didn’t get picked up?
    I like Graham, and Jimmy’s dead-right about From Hell. But McGowan’s been a flake from the outset. You can’t hook up with Marilyn Manson and expect people to look at you as serious. She would have made a good Catwoman, though.
    …and now to the real disaster, the unmentioned Rodriguez. It was one thing to claim to be Mr. Independent while latching to Harvey’s teet, it’s another to implode your family to make crap like this. Has no one learned from Harrison Ford, Michael Douglas and Anthony Hopkins that personal stability, while not the most exciting, allows for focus? Just look at the choices these guys made after jetting for greener…pastures. Douglas wouldn’t be begging for Rupees to make a third Romancing The Stone. Hopkins would have passed on Red Dragon. Ford…people would stop shaking their head and wondering what the hell happened to him.
    What’s sad is that she’ll flit away once this run together ends in disaster. For those that weren’t around for Mariachi at Sundance, you have no idea what promise Rodriguez brought. He was supposed to be what Tyler Perry made of himself. Instead, he’s becoming the Gen X answer to Bogdanovich. But instead of Daisy Miller, he’ll have Red Sonja. Perfect.

  24. Bogdanovich’s Daisy Miller is actually underrated. It’s not perfect, but I always thought the book was a little ooverrated.
    It’s really a book about a tease who dies.

  25. Lota says:

    hope heather graham works more, and R-Rod works less.

  26. leahnz says:

    um, i thought heather graham was appalling bad in ‘from hell’ (her dialect coach should be shot), and martin s., did you see manson in ‘bowling for columbine’? (i’m thinking ‘yes’) a good example of ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’, he’s an articulate, clever guy, whatever his weirdnesses may be

  27. Lota says:

    I like From Hell alot.
    I don’t know Leah, don;t forget how ‘lower class’ she was supposed to be…she wouldn;t have a cogent accent anyway. after all my years in Lahn-dun she didn’t bug me alot. Gwynnie in Sliding Doors bugged me WAAAAY more. The way she said “bastard” **baaahstaaahd*** make people laugh out loud in the Show, even though the movie was liked in London town well enough. Not hating on Gwynnie, she’s ok.
    I think Heather Graham should be in a Dickensian/Hardy-ian movie. She could revive her fortunes in a tragedy I think. i actually would have loved to see her in Bleak House but 2 yankees from TV might have caused a ripple across the pond.

  28. IOIOIOI says:

    Rodriguez was supposed to aggrevate some folks in his ethnicity by making films that some felt stereotypical and pandering? Really?
    That fact aside from the parts of the African-American community who dislike Tyler Perry, Robert and Rose broke up. So maybe they came to a realization with this movie.
    Back to Graham: she got a development deal, Martin. You know how those things work. Artie Lange has a freakin shore-house thanks to development deals. So she had a deal, they cancelled the show, but she got paid.
    Paid enough money to chill out, enjoy life, and make weird lesbian movies with Tom Cavanaugh!

  29. jeffmcm says:

    “she wouldn;t have a cogent accent anyway”
    Really? How do you figure that?
    I have to say that I just don’t think much of Heather Graham. I think she was good in one scene of one movie (the back of the car scene in Boogie Nights) and the rest of the time she looks like a mannequin to me, no sign of anything behind those eyes.

  30. IOIOIOI says:

    She has more signs of life than Jessica Alba, and the freakin studios love being in that ALBA BUSINESS! So give me the blonde with the cheerful smile over Jessica Alba any day of the week.

  31. Lota says:

    it was the part she was playing Jeff. She wasn’t an Oxford educated lady.
    if she’s a mannequin, she’s better than most but maybe has not lived up to what she could have…yet.

  32. LexG says:

    ALBA OWNS.
    Have no doubt. Do not deny. Quit while you’re ahead, IO. You really shouldn’t play.

  33. Lota says:

    Alba owns only the mens mags Lex. I hope she won’t get too many dramatic parts as she doesn’t have the chops.

  34. IOIOIOI says:

    Alba owns a rather conversative wardrobe that represents her epic level… luke-warmness.

  35. leahnz says:

    we’ll have to agree to disagree on graham’s ‘from hell’ accent, lota! johhny d. and the crew supposedly gave her a very hard time, what with johnny’s rather impeccable british brogues. i don’t dislike the movie (mainly cuz johnny d. is in it and he’s special. i bought ‘dead man’ from the bargain bin the other day, and i think it may be my fave dep of all time, but that’s a hard call)
    graham his no discernible talent that i can see, but angelic looks to die for. i always think, ‘man, there were probably 100 better actresses out there for that part, but without those big baby blues.’ she was ok in ‘bowfinger’, though, perfect casting there (and eddie murphy was, or course, priceless)

  36. LexG says:

    And I also wanna make a point about Martin S’s post about personality stability.
    It’s a nice thought and all, but please, sir, listen to some Leykis. Men date and marry the best (aka, hottest) they can afford at the time. It may not be a P.C. thing to say or hear, but stability, family, “doing the right thing” all goes out the window when one’s schlub ass can suddenly score younger, prettier, model-level Hollywood women. Men are not SOCIALISTS. Men are MEN.
    It’s the American Dream.

  37. Lota says:

    that might be the set gossip but I still think Heather has more range than Cameron Diaz and Rebecca Romijn and Famke Janssen and I could make a long list of 32-42 y old femmes who are ‘limited’.
    and I think she should save her rack for vodka print ads and dye her hair brown and go for drama/tragedy in the shakespearian sense.

  38. leahnz says:

    some men are SHALLOW; some aren’t

  39. LexG says:

    I tend to believe ALL men are exactly that shallow if enough money and temptation are involved.
    ALL.

  40. jeffmcm says:

    Lota, I still don’t know what you’re talking about re: accents. An uneducated person in the 19th century could be expected to have a stronger, more consistent accent than someone educated who might have refined their accent over the year or through travels.
    I would actually make the arrangement that Alba has better screen-presence than Graham – I can tell there’s a real person on screen in an Alba movie, even if she doesn’t have much range or gravitas.
    Lex, you say all that stuff as if it was good and desireable to anything except the one’s little head. Or are you being ‘silly’? Because I can’t tell the difference.

  41. jeffmcm says:

    ‘make the argument’, not arrangement.

  42. Lota says:

    “marry the best (aka, hottest) they can afford at the time”
    only men with small brains and money to burn

  43. Lota says:

    alba can be luminescent on screen but she is not a good actress

  44. LexG says:

    No, I’m not being silly. The GREATEST THING about a capitalist society is that a man can level the playing field in terms of desirable partners by increasing his cash flow or his place in society.
    If we were all Socialists, all the pretty girls would go for all the scruffy Oliver Martinez looking guys with accoustic guitars and be all political and earthy and hot and perfect.
    INSTEAD, because the world OWNS, some nerd or film geek or tool or broke sadsack or goateed spazz can MAKE A MOVIE and suddenly get to ROLL WITH THE HOLLYWOOD ELITE and MEET MODELS. He can start a ROCK BAND and date beautiful women; Obviously those women WOULD NEVER BE IN HIS SOCIAL SPHERE OTHERWISE… Really, what are you gonna do, go with the hot, beautiful, famous woman or the 40-something HIGH-SCHOOL SWEETHEART from your Podunk town?
    99.99999999% of men could not resist that temptation. It sounds shallow but it’s the way of the world, like it or not.

  45. LexG says:

    By the way, let us commend the Lexman on three days of sobriety! YAY ME!

  46. leahnz says:

    oliver martinez makes my skin crawl. just thought i’d add that useless tidbit.
    and lex, i never thought you were drunk in the first place, you would have slurred your letters more

  47. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, this is where I have a hard time dealing with you: either this stance of yours is the continuation of your ‘persona’ and some kind of zany performance-art Borat kind of stuff, or it’s a genuinely abhorrent, neanderthal, awful attitude to have – and I’m not talking about ‘the way of the world’, I’m talking about ‘THE GREATEST THING’ because obviously only a crazy person, or an asshole, would call that the best thing about capitalism (and what you’re talking about isn’t even capitalism anyway).

  48. Lota says:

    lex has a point (I know…the sky is falling)
    I do have some wealthy businessmen friends & associates and they do have this problem…it is harder to pick quality if there are many more beauties at your beck & call.
    Smart men don’t think with their zipper though when it comes to picking a wife. Picking the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen has some ugly consequences if she’s braindead, unfaithful or mental…lots of them are from my experience with working with them.
    Women have the same problem if they have dough. COmmon sense goes out the window.

  49. IOIOIOI says:

    Lex typed; “If we were all Socialists, all the pretty girls would go for all the scruffy Oliver Martinez looking guys with accoustic guitars and be all political and earthy and hot and perfect.”
    DEVENDRA BANHART AND NATALIE PORTMAN EVERYBODY!
    I also tend to think Lex has a point. A lot of men are not exactly secure with themselves. So if you get the money and the prestige that boost that ego. Most men will jump at the chance at younger, hotter, and possibly sexier.

  50. LexG says:

    Jeff, you need to listen to some Leykis.
    Lota, you own.

  51. Lota says:

    Lex I am glad you are sober. but let us leave socialism and capitalism alone until you are sober for about 2 weeks.
    that bearded guitar-playing nonsense is silly. All the Euro socialists I know look like they just walked out of GQ and they are wealthy. it’s only in the US are ‘socialists’ seen as being a hippee oddity.

  52. LexG says:

    Yeah, instead of the guitar-hippie thing I should’ve presented some super-horny, lefty, modelly-looking, politically-passionate Euro couple straight out of a bad Bertolucci movie or something.
    (Lota and leah, I usually AM stone-cold sober on here; I just didn’t want Quick-Draw D-Po to think I was violating his “POST SOBER!” edict by using a few caps when discussing something I’m passionate about.)

  53. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, you’re missing my point. Here’s an another analogy:
    Union Carbide had a terrible industrial accident in India, as a result of not giving a crap about safety regulations, a weak Indian government that didn’t enforce the regulations that it had, and cheap designs meant to keep costs down. After the accident happened the company was penalized but has never paid up the whole amount due to being able to afford high-priced lawyers to appeal the case endlessly.
    Therefore, CAPITALISM IS AWESOME!
    Just because things happen a certain way – which I am not disupting – is no reason to applaud them to continue on. Pardon the language, but that’s a bullshit attitude towards life – and one which, deep down, I don’t believe that you actually believe in. I think this is the latest “Look, I can piss people off by saying something Crazy!” post.

  54. LexG says:

    Jeff, I’m talking about some dude upgrading to Rose McGowan, not that horrific shit you’re bringing up.

  55. LexG says:

    Anyway, my post of 12:22pm didn’t get enough praise. It is very creative and funny! Sheck it out.

  56. Lota says:

    Lex it seems like everytime you post you act like you just danced the Macarena without any assistance.
    Is Rose McGowan an upgrade from what R Rod had at home LexG? Likely not or they wouldn’t be busting up already.

  57. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, I’m talking about the same basic underlying principle. Again, I hate to waste my time arguing about something that I’m pretty sure, deep down, that you don’t actually believe in, especially since it’s irrational for someone with three degrees to hold such a bizarre position, besides being not in your best interest, since you’re not rich or successful.
    I bet you were happy when O.J. was acquitted too, to be consistent.

  58. L.B. says:

    Rodriguez upgraded by tossing his incredibly smart producer wife (who knew how to keep his budgets in line with their prospective revenues) for someone who will be shopping for yet another comeback in a year or two? Okay.

  59. LexG says:

    L.B., can “incredibly smart” compete with what is displayed in the above poster (for most men)?

  60. IOIOIOI says:

    Lota: she was at the time. She was at the time.

  61. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, you’re not making a rational argument. You keep returning to “I’m just saying it like it is” while conveniently ignoring the implications.

  62. LexG says:

    The implications are that someday if a schmo makes enough money, he can get Hollywood-level women that would otherwise not be available to him.
    Those implications are fucking awesome, and the main thing I am banking on in life.
    It does not get any simpler. What are you not getting? Am I supposed to crying over some injustice here?

  63. David Poland says:

    J-Mc… you have become this blog’s #1 enabler.

  64. IOIOIOI says:

    What implications? There’s implications to everything. Everything has an implication to something else.
    The thing of it is: it’s not really capitalism as much as a it’s a male ego/sex thing. Men are weird. Money makes men weird. So this is what happens when men have the opportunity. They usually seize it, but mostly faily miserably! HIYOOO!!!

  65. jeffmcm says:

    The feeling is mutual, DP.

  66. jeffmcm says:

    “someday if a schmo makes enough money, he can get Hollywood-level women that would otherwise not be available to him.”
    Okay, so since we’ve come this far: This is predicated on several terribly flawed premises. First of all, women are totally objectified in this worldview, not as people with specific wants or desires of their own, but as commodities, the kind that are only ‘available’ when your income level is high enough.
    Next is the idea that ‘more expensive’ women = more ‘desireable’ or ‘rewarding’ women, which is pretty much demonstrably untrue, unless one’s only goal in life is to have someone around with the newest designer breasts, which is certainly a possible criteria on which to base one’s worldview but I don’t one that is a true roadmap for happiness and fulfillment.
    Lastly is the idea that ‘talent’ correlates directly with ‘income’ which is obviously untrue when we see compare (insert lousy big-budget filmmaker here) with (insert good indie filmmaker here); or that ‘men’ are all equally deserving of and striving for high-class poon and the ones who make it to the top are inherently more worthy, like some twisted kind of Ayn Rand philosophy to reward the victors.
    And yes, I think Lex is still pulling my leg.

  67. leahnz says:

    any woman who wants a man just for his money and any man who wants a woman just for youthful looks deserve each other…they can wallow in the shallow pool with the other babies

  68. IOIOIOI says:

    I think it’s time that McMahon gets some MCWEENEY STYLE! HOLD ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    “Okay, so since we’ve come this far: This is predicated on several terribly flawed premises. First of all, women are totally objectified in this worldview,”
    Dan Savage has a way of putting this, it goes a little something like white heterosexual males are raised to be that women are born and bred simply for them.
    So yeah, to many, women are objects to be obtained, maintained, and to heighten’s one own ego. It sucks, but the women luckily run most of the porn industry.
    This is also a rather ethnocentric view of the world. Women have been objectified long before Ira Singer used good-looking ladies to sell sewing machines. It’s an unfortunate part of being a woman in this world.
    “not as people with specific wants or desires of their own, but as commodities, the kind that are only ‘available’ when your income level is high enough.”
    You are being trite about a rather real aspect of not just our culture but many cultures now and in the past. Many cultures see women as objects to inflate the male ego and to be shown off as token. Again, it’s an unfortunate part of being a woman. Glossing it over in order to sell an argument does show you may have never taken an anthropology class in your life.
    “Next is the idea that ‘more expensive’ women = more ‘desireable’ or ‘rewarding’ women, which is pretty much demonstrably untrue, unless one’s only goal in life is to have someone around with the newest designer breasts, which is certainly a possible criteria on which to base one’s worldview but I don’t one that is a true roadmap for happiness and fulfillment.”
    That last sentence is a figurative mouthful, Jeff. I mean, really, happiness and fulfillment are subjective. Basing it around a person can lead to problems. Nevertheless, some people are happy to have the pretty trinket they can have sex with on a regular basis.
    “Lastly is the idea that ‘talent’ correlates directly with ‘income’ which is obviously untrue when we see compare (insert lousy big-budget filmmaker here) with (insert good indie filmmaker here); or that ‘men’ are all equally deserving of and striving for high-class poon and the ones who make it to the top are inherently more worthy, like some twisted kind of Ayn Rand philosophy to reward the victors.”
    If you know anything about traits. The folks who are the better looking and making, are usually the ones whose traits are passed on via evolution. This is how it goes.
    So those guys are sort of the victors. Which makes you a bit foolish for coming up with such an argument that proves Lex rather right.
    “And yes, I think Lex is still pulling my leg.”
    Rather well indeed.

  69. jeffmcm says:

    I’m not sure if you’re agreeing with me or arguing against me.

  70. leahnz says:

    io,
    you don’t have the first clue what it’s like being a woman in this world so please stop saying, ‘the unfortunate part of being a woman’ like some kind of authority on the subject.
    you think only good-looking people pass on ‘traits’ in human evolution? you obviously haven’t stepped outside in…ever
    and finally, shallow morons with lots of money and shallow trophy girls on their arm aren’t the victors, they just fool other shallow morons into thinking they are. When in reality, they’ve missed the point all together and are just sad

  71. christian says:

    LexG has invalidated every single one of his admittedly insane past, present and future comments by invoking that fat toad Tom Leykis, the enabler of wannabe wife-beaters across LA and beyond.

  72. Kinda getting back to Red Sonja, I’m surprised nobody has made mention of the most worrying aspect of this whole deal – the poster. Throw this alongside the poster for Jennifer’s Body and I must ask if it is so impossible to actually take a real photograph of a real person. It’s also like the poster for The Women. Those five women were definitely on the same set for at least one day, so why not take some time between set ups and take a good group photo or two and throw it on a poster. Can’t be too hard, surely.
    Nevertheless, I don’t feel as angry about the making of this film as some people seem to be purely because – and somebody else brought it up towards the top I believe – this is the sort of movie that a remake of feels entirely justified. Sure, the people behind/in front of the camera may be questionable, but if Rodriguez had to decide between remaking this Neilsen/Schwarzenegger movie or, oh I dunno, The Goonies, then I’d be happier with the former.
    Although I remain utterly confused as to why nobody has thought of remaking Children of the Corn. I’m sure whatever they could come up with today would be better than the garbage they released in ’84, right?

  73. Oh, and Heather Graham was “quite good!” on Scrubs.

  74. Triple Option says:

    Of the people I’ve known or known of, guys w/career success who’ve married a trophy wife, it’s been the other way around. Promising career and they marry the hottie. The marriage didn’t last all that long. While they still found career success, the next wife they married were for the “right” reasons. It wasn’t for looks but to last.
    Who knows what was going on w/Robert Rod. His marriage could’ve been vulnerable despite Rose figuring into the mix. He might not’ve been thinking “upgrade” but more of a disconnected fun. Actually, thinking should proll be in ” ” back there. Whatever kind of relationship plans they were babbling was prolly more a way of justifying what they were doing.

  75. Martin S says:

    IO – I wasn’t referring to the quality of Perry’s material, but to his ability to thrive outside the system. R Rod promised the exact same thing and he didn’t deliver. It’s a personal letdown; he was supposed to revolutionize the indie world and instead he walked away. It was expected from Quentin and Smith, but not him.
    And you’re right about Graham. I thought you were inferring she could kick back from the Austin Powers money, which couldn’t have been much of a cut.
    Leahnz – I know a number of people who knew him pre-Spooky Kids. He’s smart, but he’s got more personal baggage than Samsonite and Rose knew that. She was with him for the same reason she said she’d blow Clinton if given the opportunity, shock value.
    And any guy who faints when Michael Chiklis sticks a fake gun in you face, during a shoot, needs to reassess reality.
    Lex – you’re right, I don’t disagree. But you’re talking about single men first entering marriage at whatever level of success they’ve achieved. I’m talking about guys who achieve success after marriage. As L.B pointed out, R Rod’s was was his partner, and he scuttled that for a piece of crazy ass and photo ops. Typical mid-life crisis.
    And Triple Option is spot-on.

  76. yancyskancy says:

    Lex and Jeff are comic gold together. They should make a movie. Maybe Lex could be a bad-boy movie star who takes his mild-mannered accountant (Jeff) on a wild night of debauchery or a rollicking road trip. Amid the hijinks, they each learn to temper their respective world views. But it’s too late for Lex — after an all-night orgy of sex and drugs, his heart gives out. Jeff narrowly escapes the same fate, but lives to become a more well-rounded guy – responsible, but more open to life’s possibilities. Lex’s hot co-star (Rose McGowan? Heather Graham?) notices the change, and she and Jeff walk off into the sunset together, with the spirit of Lex looking down, nodding and giving a “thumbs up,” flanked by Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield (or maybe Olivia Thirlby and Kristen Stewart, whom we establish as having died in a car accident in Act 1). Laughs, tears, Oscars all around.

  77. I’m thinking it should be a reverse on You’ve Got Mail. Online they hate each other, but it turns out they’re actually lovers in the real world.

  78. yancyskancy says:

    Good one, Kami. Lex, Jeff — look closely at that person across the room from you right now. Is it possible…? 🙂

  79. Lota says:

    wah, ha ha, you are Evil Camel.
    actually Lex, don’t be so impressed with Hollywood types who seem to have girls fawning over them at parties & clubs.
    Many parties I’ve been to (and clubs too) many of those girls are PAID to be there, or even bribed in other ways. All for the photo-ops and to feed egos. Girls wouldn’t tell a man that but they’ll tell other females and have a laugh about it, because women are mean.
    If you aint got no Game, you have to pay the labour, no matter who you are. Plenty of these men who are supposedly so rich or well-known blah blah are Paying. More expensive ass but they still have to pay to get some. Sad.
    Develop your personality and you don’t have to pay as much.

  80. IOIOIOI says:

    Leah: I was typing in a rather clinical fashion. If you want to fight about your failure to interpret the English language on a screen, then we can fight about that as well. Yet, I refuse to be given any crap when you failed to get the tone of my post.
    So in conclusion… learn something about anthropology and anthropological theory before you take out your soapbox.

  81. jeffmcm says:

    “I love to laugh and have fun”
    -IOIOI

  82. leahnz says:

    io, i did fail to get your ‘clinical’ tone – what ever the hell that means – so in utter shame i hang my head and i’m off back to university to re-take my anthropology classes so that i might actually comprehend your level of genius. my bad
    kam…classic 😀
    i can see the marketing now: ‘jeff & lex: the odd couple for the new millennium’. it’s just crying out for episodic tv, and the script could be written almost entirely from this blog

  83. David Poland says:

    Uh… J-Mc… it’s my blog. That does kind of make me responsible. We aren’t starting on equal ground on that basis alone, whether you like it or not.
    As usual, you miss the point utterly. You complain and complain and complain, but you keep taking the bait like an eager puppy who doesn’t remember that the last thing he bit on squirted something in his mouth that made him sick.
    If their schtick is fighting back against others with “style,” they need someone who will keep fighting, no matter how idiotic, in order to rev their engines. And you da man, Jeff.
    Try limiting you blog comments to 50 a week… restraint… use your comments with some sense of value… try it for a week… maybe you’ll like it… and maybe it will stop being so much like Step Brothers Live in here for a bit…

  84. IOIOIOI says:

    Leah: again, people like you have a problem with people like Lex and I, why again? The way you act is worse than anything Lex or I have ever posted on this blog. So… before you hate again… realize that the hate starts with you. THE MORE YOU KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  85. leahnz says:

    look, io, i’ve just come in from driving rain and sleet, i’m cold and weary, my fingers are numb as is my nose and possibly my brain, but i feel compelled to respond cuz i don’t like hassels: i don’t hate you (or anyone else here for that matter), how could i, i don’t even know you, you’re words on a screen. for all i know you could be a 7th grade exchange student having a laugh or a bored housewife or a columbian drug runner, i have no idea. that’s one of the fun things about blogging, initially at least we are all just ghosts in the machine fumbling about in the dark. i come here to hear the thoughts and opinions of knowledgeable people who love movies as much – if not more – than i do, have the occasional discussion if anyone is interested (and yes, perhaps a disagreement here and there), go off on the occasional tangent, perhaps talk with a few people of whom i have grown fond, past that i’m just chillin. there will always be disagreements and a few dust-ups when people who are passionate about movies get together for a proverbial chin-wag, but i find you irritating because you often bad mouth the host, which i find rude, and pick what appear to be irrational fights with people whodisagree with you, which seems pointless, and sometimes it’s hard to ignore (though i try). i also find it hard to read your comments at times due to your habit of using periods to separate your thoughts in a sentence rather than commas, though i’m getter better at that. hey, i can be hell on wheels, no doubt about that, but i assure you i’m never looking for a fight. i’m mostly a big girl’s blouse and perfectly reasonable (though equally stubborn). i even sometimes use lame attempts at humour to lighten a thread going pear-shaped, which granted never works, but i try. also, i can’t recall ever getting into a drama with lex past a comment here and there – i’ve had far more to say to you – so i’m a bit confused as to why you always drag him into your dealings with me, but whatever. well think that’s a wrap, i’m still freezin and i’m off to get another hot cocoa and warm my ass up on the heater

  86. LexG says:

    THIS POSTER GIVES ME A RED BONJA.
    BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIING.
    BE SUPERIOR.
    KNOW.

  87. Joe Leydon says:

    “You complain and complain and complain, but you keep taking the bait like an eager puppy who doesn’t remember that the last thing he bit on squirted something in his mouth that made him sick.”
    Dammit, David: I just got around to reading this, and I spat green tea all over my computer monitor while laughing.

  88. jeffmcm says:

    Okay, I just now actually read the last five comments on this thread.
    Very reaffirmatory.

  89. IOIOIOI says:

    Exactly. You… go home, take leah with you, and the rest of us… PARTY!
    Few things are funnier than a woman who does not hit the ENTER KEY after she finishes a PARAGRAPH. Pot. Kettle. OH I forgot, I can actually keep my paragraphs from running into one another.

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon