April 25, 2024
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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?
So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.
And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.
There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.
I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.
So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.
But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”
My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher
“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.
~ David Simon
have a safe trip to Amsterdam… mmmm, weed…
What’s the buzz on Twilight? I know at least one person here (movieman?) saw a screening a while back, but it’s been silent otherwise. Is the flick being hidden from critics? Any word on the DTESS remake? I still think Bolt will gross more than Twilight, even if the latter wins this weekend. Thanksgiving will be huge for Bolt.
Sometimes, an 18-word review is all that’s needed.
Apparently the Amsterdamers have started, however tentatively and gently, rolling back some of their renowned tolerance for social deviancy. I read a while ago in Time or Newsweek that the mayor wanted to clamp down on the red light district, and he had a lot of support. Amsterdam has been notorious for its laissez-faire attitude in this regard for three centuries (Spinoza lived there, after all), but I guess everything has its limits.
You make ‘social deviancy’ sound like a bad thing.
Have a safe trip. Yeah, somehow I ain’t surprised by that RR reaction. I have mixed feelings about the book and it’s not the classic it’s thought to be, IMO. Still, DP’s word doesn’t mean it is bad (see TAOJJBTCRF), but it ain’t gettin’ my hopes up.
Jeff, you mean about Twilight? I remember he called it “Total Slownage” and was not enthralled. Just curious to know if anyone else was of the same opinion, or a different one. To be clear, I have zero interest in seeing it. I’m trying to gauge how it’s being received by people who are over 20 and have the wrong kind of plumbing.
No, I mean the 18-words above about RR (which don’t shock me). I’m pretty sure it was a poster who called Twilight ‘slownage’, not DP.
I saw Blood and Chocolate in theaters, so I think that fills my teen-girl-monster-goth-romance-movie slot for the decade.
Sometimes it can be, and sometimes it’s not. If social deviancy means listening to rock ‘n roll, that devil’s music, then I am happy to admit I’m going to hell.
Revolutionary Road is DOA, for me. And here’s why: I read the novel last year, in anticipation of the movie and
I think your supposition re: birth control and marriage is arguable, but I agree with you about Mendes. More and more I think that American Beauty (which I still like) should be credited more to Conrad Hall than to anyone else.
Jeff, right, it was the poster “movieman” who saw Twilight, if I recall correctly.
“(I might get around to telling you what
Ahh, Amsterdam…
Really, Campbell? You’re going to go on record as disliking a movie you’ve not seen, based on a reading of the book from which it’s adapted? How would that have worked re: “No Country for Old Men?” “Devil Wears Prada?” “Jaws?” “The Sweet Hereafter?” “Tell No One?”
i think it was scoot who coined ‘slownage’…i seem to recall a lot of these ‘….’ and dots usually = scooterzz
Since DP has given his one sentence slam of Rev Rd and Campbell has interred it without a viewing, I’ll chime in. It got to me. I’ve had problems with every Mendes movie, and have some caveats about this one, but I feel he’s found a timeless theme to put at its forefront: how difficult and rare it is to be emotionally honest. It’s finely crafted within an inch of its life, but every actor supplies heat. I cried like a babe.
Phew. I misread EOTW’s post and thought he was calling Twilight a classic. Thank God I read it again, or I might have written something really stupid and angrylike. You know, like IO, but justified.
Anyhow, I don’t care what y’all say. I think Mendes is a great director. I even think Jarhead is a great movie. But the trailer for RR makes it look … so … fucking … lame.
A bit off topic, but I ended up pulling an all nighter last night writing a paper last night, and to cap it off, I watched Waist Deep, a Tyrese starring action flick that must have been sitting on my harddrive for three years. Anyhow, I think that movie should win an award for plot efficiency, it managed to introduce a new plot element about every two minutes and I don’t think it wasted any scenes on unnecessary plot exposition. It was lean as a piece of turkey meat; kudos to the editor. Everything else about it was absolute shite, though. I was just really tired and didn’t want to watch anything, you know, that I would have to think about.
Samias, and it’s cathartic too, not grim and depressing. Everybody was really up after the screening, the movie is very alive with privileged life and death struggles.
A colleague of mine that has seen TWILIGHT calls it “High School Ventricle.”
No invites have come my way yet.
TWILIGHT.
BE THERE.
(Four more days until THE STEW takes the PLANET BY STORM and OWNS YOUR ASS.)
Leahnz is correct. It was Scooter who dissed “Twilight,” not me.
They aren’t showing it to Northeastern Ohio press until tomorrow nite…at what promises to be a promo-from-hell. (And if the snow that’s currently falling hasn’t let up by then, I won’t be making the 75-minute drive.)
Glad to hear that you liked “RR,” Samias. I still don’t know when they’re going to let us see it.
“I read a while ago in Time or Newsweek that the mayor wanted to clamp down on the red light district, and he had a lot of support.”
I read something similar. Seems that much of their red light district is run by organized crime.
Yes, and we all know, the best way to keep organized crime out of something is to drive it underground.
Todd McCarthy’s “RR” review is online and it’s a qualified rave.
Whew!
K-STEW >>>> WINSLET.
You know it to be true.
55 MIL OPENING DAY. BANK ON IT.
thanks for the inaccurate presumption, tmj…
I don’t break embargoes.
But thanks for playing.
Safe trip. It’ll do you some good to get out of the “first” racket for a bit, I’m sure.
yeah, the ‘total slownage’ rap was me…as were the dots…
absolutely no one at the screening i was at had anything good to say about it (no tween girls in sight however)…
no doubt it will open huge (judging from footage of the ‘twilight’ tour) but i’ll be interested to read what some others think….
btw — it does vary from the book a bit…not sure how that’ll sit with the hard core fans…..
So there was no embargo on RR then? Looking forward to the full review.
Lex, what are you going to do when Twilight does not make $55m on day 1? Also, your obsession with it is creepy.
K-STEW and EVAN RACHEL WOOD need to be in a remake of “Thelma and Louise” directed by me and co-starring JASON STATHAM in the HARVEY KEITEL ROLE, MATHIEU AMALRIC in the CHRIS McDONALD role, me in the Brad Pitt role only with a Mohawk, and Karl Urban in the Michael Madsen part.
And instead of all that feminist bullshit, there should be a lot more pillow fighting, trying on midriff shirts in MONTAGE, nail painting on the same bed, and gunfire accompanied by an all-techno soundtrack. And a happy ending.
THAT WOULD FUCKING OWN.
LOL, Lex scares me and I am a Twilight fan
Lex, do you think there’s a big market to see your midriff and painted toenails?
Lex: “But that’s not what I meant.”
Jeff: “Isn’t it?”
“Jeff, right, it was the poster ‘movieman’ who saw Twilight, if I recall correctly.”
Obviously, I did not recall correctly. D’oh!
Notice Lex didn’t say $55 MIL, just 55 MIL. I think it can make 55 MIL pennies. Or dimes. Or quarters. But dollars? 55 million of those will be a great number for its first weekend. No way it’s getting that in its first day.
Or maybe he means he’s going to watch it on 55 mL of vodka.
We’ll be seeing Twilight at one of the post-midnight shows at Arclight Hollywood next Thursday. I’m prepared to feel like an interloper among the faithful, but I am kinda looking forward to the movie.
I saw Twilight last week when it screened for press in LA, but I’m not writing about it until later this week, as we are respecting the embargo. Have a piece coming later this week from the Twilight interviews as well.
ugh, I’m so sick of Twilight and I have no desire to see it (I havne’t read the books either). I honestly think the previews look downright awful.
but it definitely will be a huge blockbuster hit, it seems there are a LOT of Twilight fans out there…
VOYNAR DID YOU GET TO INTERVIEW THE STEW?
IF POLAND DOES A LUNCH WITH K-STEW, he better at some point say, “Hey Kristen can you do me a favor and say HI LEXG.”
THAT WOULD OWN. My biggest dream in life is to get my picture taken with K-STEW and we both throw up the horns. JUST PICTURE IT– TOTAL OWNAGE.
I dunno. Twilight looks like a cheap fashion-model Vancouver-shot piece of crap to me.
David or Kim or anyone else with a column here — I’d be really interested to read some informed thoughts about whether or not WALTZ WITH BASHIR counts as a documentary…it seems the Academy does not think so, or at least not one of the year’s top 15, and I know at least one very prominent critic who says it isn’t either.
I think it’s one of the year’s best movies, period…and LAFCA is looser with qualifying rules when we vote…but did it get screwed by the Academy, or is it not technically a doc? (it is eligible for Best animated Feature, I noticed) Would love to hear informed discussion on the topic.
It got screwed by the Academy, LYT. Last month, it was reported that “Waltz” had not met the play-by-end-of-August-in-theaters rule and was, thus, ineligible. But it’s eligible for animated feature and foreign language film.
I don’t care what they say, LexG, you TOTALLT OWN this blog and everywhere else you post. You crack me up. I mean that in all seriousness. Keep up the good work, sir!
ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER.
Thanks, EOTW. FUCK YEAH. The Lex Haterz Club pretty much now consists of Jeffymac, Bitch Perm, and Kami, which is the Hot Blog equivalent of the Tri-Lambs or the band geek table, so I don’t let it get to me. Yancy, doug r, Drew, dietcock, POLAND, Voynar, Petaluma, leah, LEYDON, Jimmy the Gent, Chicago, IO, EOTW, scooterzz, Murphy, movieman– I could go on and on listing the cool kids so apologies to anyone I didn’t mention– all RECOGNIZE.
I forgot the AWESOME Not David Bordwell who launched an excellent defense of my posts not two days ago. Guy fucking owns.
Now get some more hot L.A. chicks on this blog and I’ll stop the drunken self-pity and start suaving up the joint like a drunken, awesome James Bond.
Hey Lex, at least band geeks have friends!
I would be amused to see a Lunch With David starring Lex, Leydon, Drew, IOI, and Don Murphy. The cacophony would be deafening.
I just thought everyone here would be THRILLED and EXCITED to hear that apparently GLENN BECK now works for FOX NEWS.
Van Susteren is fete-ing him as I post this.
THIS BETTER NOT PRE-EMPT THAT SHITTY RED EYE SHOW or that thing where Huckabee plays his bass guitar like a douche.
THolly, I’m glad you enjoyed Rev Rd and thanks Movieman for the Todd McCarthy heads up. From the vibe on this board, it seems the flick’s got to swim pretty far upstream to get a fair hearing.
I saw The Class tonight. As off-the cuff as Rev Rd is studied. It too drew much emotion from me (maybe I’m particularly vulnerable pre-holiday). Much in common stylistically and structurally w Wiseman’s High School. Some plot similarities to Freedom Writers. Very effective.
TEAM BELLA.
All you agents and shit out, this serves as a reminder that THE LEXMAN is working on his mosaic-of-OWNAGE screenplay, kind of a cross between ALTMAN’S NASHVILLE and SAINT’S ROW 2 in which I detail 23 individual short stories all on the theme of GETTING OWNED.
Any serious inquiries can be made in roughly one month when my Salieri-esque masterwork will be nearing completion. The BIDDING STARTS AT $60,000, just enough to get me away from MY POSTHOUSE-ASS DAY JOB.
23 STORIES. 23 MOTHERFUCKERS GETTING OWNED. NO HAGGIS-STYLE COINCIDENCES. NO PREACHING. Imagine a 2-hour-plus cross between Crank, Domino, Nashville, Short Cuts, Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, Thelma and Louise, A Life Less Ordinary, Boondock Saints, Smokin’ Aces, Showgirls, Straw Dogs, Angel Heart, Boogie Nights, and Spetters, only with ZERO FUCKING IRONY OR CUTESINESS OR CONTRIVANCE, just WHOLESALE FUCKING OWNAGE.
IMAGINE THE T-SHIRTS BEING ALL THE RAGE AT NOVELTY STORES.
And all agents out there, be prepared to put out feelers to the DREAM CAST I’d want in a perfect world for this roll-call of OWNAGE:
Evan Rachel Wood (LEAD), Jason Statham (LEAD), Donnie Wahlberg, Harvey Keitel, John Terry, Kristen Stewart (CAMEO), Alicia Keys, James Franco, MAGGIE Q (LEAD), Walton Goggins, Vanilla Ice, Jaime King, Tom Noonan, Lance Reddick, Clarence Williams III, Jason Patric, Michael Shannon, Ashlee Simpson, Chris O’Donnell, OMAR FROM THE WIRE, DMX, Chris Evans, Carl Weathers, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Phil Anselmo, Noel Gulglielmi, LOBO SEBASTIAN, Eva Longoria, Fred Durst, Andrew Dice Clay, Shannon Elizabeth, Chad Lowe, Nikki Reed, Stephen Baldwin, and hopefully as THE NARRATOR, William Friedkin doing that humorless awesome badass voice he does on all his commentaries.
wow, lex, my feelings are kinda hurt you left out karl. screw you anyway, he’s gonna be in my movie. it’s gonna drink your movie under the table
I FORGOT TO MENTION GREGG HENRY and the dude who played LAFOURS IN MALLRATS.
KNOW.
As Lex probably knows…I will be there opening night for any movie with Vanilla Ice in it.
FUCK YEAH, *ONE TICKET SOLD*, to the gentleman who looks like LOU FROM CADDYSHACK.
LIONSGATE, TAKE NOTE AND GIVE THE MASTER LEXG A DEVELOPMENT DEAL.
Even Jeff McDouche can’t deny that my treatment sounds like THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER.
LEXG FOR A DEVELOPMENT DEAL. MAKE IT HAPPEN ALL HOLLYWOOD POWER PLAYERS.
ANY AGENTS whose interest is piqued by this obviously BRILLIANT PITCH, I refer you to that post where I outlined the potential first scene of ERW and an equally hot female companion tanning themselves before a pool in which an Italian Sports Car rests at the bottom for NO REASON, against a skyscape reminsicent of the house in THE LIMEY.
LEX HAS A VISION, and not even the HATEIEST HATER CAN DENY I have a MILLION FUCKING IMAGES and SCENARIOS that ANY MEGAPRODUCER or GREEDY STUDIO EXEC would could to have ownership of.
I AM A LICENSE TO PRINT MONEY.
GET IN THE LEX BUSINESS ALL POWER PLAYERS.
INT. DAY. L.A. AGENT’S OFFICE.
A slightly overweight, disheveled alcholic 35-year-old GENIUS with thinning JEFF BRIDGES IN EIGHT MILLION WAYS TO DIE HAIR is sitting opposite a TUBBY AGENT in 1992-style clunky HORN-RIMS.
AGENT:
YOU FUCKING OWN.
LEXG:
FUCK YEAH.
AGENT:
Here’s a check for 10 MILLION DOLLARS. You won’t have to DUB TAPES in some VALLEY POSTHOUSE like a drone anymore, son.
LEX:
FUCK YEAH!!!!!!
A CURTAIN descends and HEAVY METAL comes onto the soundtrack, as LEXG begins KICKING AT THE AIR and the lighting takes on an OVERSATURATED, BRUCKHEIMERIAN SHEEN, and THREE SUPERMODELS appears from the corners of the IMPECCABLY FRAMED 2.35:1 SCREEN.
BLONDE HOT CHICK:
I heard you’re a GENIUS.
LEXG’s suave mullet CATCHES THE WIND in JUST THE RIGHT WAY, ala BIG TROUBLE-era RUSSEL.
LEXG:
You know that shit, hotness.
AFRICAN-AMERICAN MODEL WHO LOOKS CONSPICUOUSLY LIKE BEYONCE:
Let’s get out of here.
1980S METAL comes onto the soundtrack, LEX high-faves the AGENT, then he and the three HOT CHICKS each pull FIFTHS OF VODKA out of their JEANS and pull a swig, then bust out of a faux-backdrop to head to an ITALIAN SPORTS CAR, each of them cocking a .45 against a burnishing SUN and ready to OWN SOME MOTHERFUCKERS.
FREEZE FRAME:
TITLE CARD: *FUCK YEAH*.
Amusing but indulgent. *1/2
Any one have any thoughts on the new Star Trek trailer? I really dig it – yeah, the young rebellious Kirk thing is laid on a bit think, but it looks like a lot of fun and pretty well cast. Not a huge J.J. Abrams fan (love Lost, but will never quite forgive Armageddon), but he seems the type to be able to pull this off. Certainly looks like the money is on the screen – the effects are very strong and I like how they have modernized (just slightly) the sets and costumes.
Considering how bare the summer looks, this could be pretty big. I think $170 to $200 million is pretty doable, even if it does come out the week after Wolverine. You might scoff, but the fan base is bigger than people think – most of the more known Star Trek hits made money in that range, adjusted to 2009 dollars. Paramount is marketing the hell out of this thing – they’ll have the stars all over MTV for months and Chris Pine will be on the cover of virtually every magazine, come May. I’m sure some at the studio are hoping for another Iron Man or Transformers-sized hit, but I just don’t see it.
Also saw Rachel Getting Married, last weekend – took the wife out for her birthday and it was her first choice though strangely, I liked it better than her. Very effective and moving – Hathaway and DeWitt are amazing, very raw and real. I liked seeing some of the Demme regulars back, especially the Jamacian singer who was in Something Wild and Married to the Mob. Certainly one of the best films of the year, though not without its flaws.
SPOILER ALERT
Sorry, but I have to agree with some of the naysayers – the music stuff is completely overindulgent. Hearing those violins in the background does get annoying and man, having those costumed dancers come in, half-way through the reception, just pushes the bounds of credibility for such a wedding, especially one on Connecticut. It’s just takes you out of the story, sometimes. And Jenny Lumet does a bang-up job, but there were some unnecessary melodramatic flourishes.
Is it just me or did you just completely agree with Kym’s (Hathaway) resentful reaction to her sister announcing, “I’m pregant” to change the subject? Sorry, but very much a movie moment and stopped the scene in its tracks – came off to me as a bit of lazy screenwriting and the only thing that redeems it is Hathaways selfish (but echoing the audience’s thoughts) reaction to it.
Still a wonderful flawed masterpiece – when the hell did Bill Irwin become a dramatic actor???? I guess I have no idea of his stage work, but the guy blew me away. Debra Winger was very effective and her eyes told so much of the story – good call, Dave.
My wife found the whole thing a little overstuffed and I found it hard to disagree with her. But I also loved Magnolia and I found this to be in the same vein.
Can’t wait to see Slumdog Millionaire and the new Bond movie…..
the Star Trek trailer does look good. I saw the stills from the movie– again, it looks fantastic…
but I have no no interest in seeing it. Why? Because I’m not a Star Trek fan.
Maybe the movie would be hard to follow if you’re not a ST fan… unless they have some minor character introduction in the beginning.
and damn, the comments are outta control here!
^ That’s a large part of the fun.
“Trees and Undergrowth,” my favorite Van Gogh painting, resides I believe in the museum in Amsterdam.
I will prolly see Star Trek though I wouldn’t count myself as a fan. I’m moving on the fence for being a J.J. Abrams fan. Never got into Lost but no biggie. Alias started out OK but then they pulled that whole evil twin stunt I think on the episode that followed the Super Bowl one year and I pretty much checked out of that series then and there. Now Fringe has to be one of the biggest disappointments in television since Geraldo Rivera dug into Al Capone’s vault.
I’m fearing the BCS will sabotage one of their own games and pit Boise St vs Utah. Not even risk losing ratings on two potential games by scheduling two teams w/no history of TV draw. Watch CBS start to undermine those two squads so they’re completely forgotten.
Is it just me or does K-Stew sound like a dude’s name? Even if you remove K-Fed from memory.
“Not a huge J.J. Abrams fan (love Lost, but will never quite forgive Armageddon), but he seems the type to be able to pull this off.”
J.J. Abrams had all but nothing to do with Armageddon. You may as well blame the guy that swept the studio floor or emptied the trash.
Initially I thought LexG was a superb Patton Oswalt online creation, I mean who else could invent a doofus who thinks “A Life Less Ordinary, Boondock Saints, Smokin’ Aces, Domino” are the epitome of COOL.
But then just as I’m enjoying the idiocy of such a ‘character’ – I’m brought back down to earth with the chilling realization that LexG is simply who he says he is.
And the good times stop.
And the sadness starts.
What took you so long to figure that one out?
K-Stew sounds like what the starship troopers of the future will be eating out of self-heating cans in between attacking giant bugs.
I do, however, want to encourage Lex to write his script. Perhaps the best way to focus would be to retreat to an isolated cabin in the woods for several months, undistracted by internet service?
Dr. Wally, you might have a point about Armageddon – the visuals and directing style are probably still what irritate me most about that movie. But, there’s an overdone self-awareness to the characters that grates too and that has stayed somewhat with Abrams and his writing – I did catch a few episodes of Felicity and it was surely on display.
Did any one else see Rachel Getting Married?
Also, I think this ‘I’m not a Star Trek fan, so I’m not interested in the new movie’ sentiment is interesting. I’m a big nerdy Star Trek fan, or at least of the shows up to about ten years ago when they started running out of steam. And I think this new version looks pretty retarded and lame (yes, lame even by the standards of a Star Trek geek).
One thing that bothers me about the trailer that has nothing to do with how good the movie may or may not be: Iowa doesn’t have cliffs. Oh, it has steep hills, so young James T. Kirk could roll the HELL out of that car, but no dives as dramatic as in the opening of the trailer. I’m pretty sure Iowa OF THE FUTURE won’t have cliffs, either.
But really, Mission: Impossible III was one of the worst movies I saw the year it came out. The Abrams-produced Cloverfield is probably the worst movie I’ve seen this year, so I’m really not counting on this one to be much, even if I lower my expectations to zero.
Maybe Iowa-of-the-future will be ground zero for some major bomb/earthquake scenario that changes the topography.
And yes, Cloverfield was pretty close to total garbage. Cool effects, lousy young hip pretty characters, which doesn’t bode well for Starfleet Academy babies.
see the tall guy with the rather amusing hair standing off kirk’s shoulder looking terribly pensive? he’s the reason to go see ‘star trek babies’.
http://i363.photobucket.com/albums/oo78/leahnzwgtn/photo_19_hires.jpg
He will be a redeeming facet. I like Zachary Quinto too, but, I mean, they need to actually be characters and not just do very expensive impersonations in a postmodern hall of mirrors.
“A slightly overweight, disheveled alcholic 35-year-old GENIUS with thinning JEFF BRIDGES IN EIGHT MILLION WAYS TO DIE HAIR…”
I don’t know what’s funnier here, “genius” or “slightly”.
What will it take for DP to threaten Lex with banning again? Posting the entirety of his script on this blog? A link to a downloadable PDF? It’s not like he’s reeled it in since he received a warning, he’s just not calling out critics by name and insulting them. It’s still the same old shit.
Lazarus, you’re assuming he’s actually ever going to write more ‘script’ than he already did above. Maybe another ‘page’ or two, but it’s not a serious endeavor.
Prove me wrong, Lex!
Geoff: I think Dr. Wally was absolving Abrams of blame for Armageddon because he was only one of an army of writers (credited and uncredited) who worked on the project.
So Universal announced Monopoly with Ridley Scott directing with a Blade Runner-like set design. I can’t help but think this is going to be quite costly which brings up my question. Has Universal ever made a decent movie that cost over a hundred million? I think the third Bourne movie (Bourne’s greatest hits) skirted over that threshold but beyond that I can’t think of a single time they spent a great deal of money and had it result in anything other than a shiny mediocrity.
After the success of Mama Mia, Knocked Up, Role Models, Bourne, and Fast and Furious movies it amazes me that they continully sink money into huge productions that barely limp into profitability.
Okay, I’ll be the designated defense witness for “Cloverfield.” Whether you nutshell it as Blair Witch meets Godzilla, or The Real World meets 9/11, the clever conceit sets a creative challenge that the filmmakers meet in ways both mundane and exciting. The execution is so brilliant, it’s almost depressing, because it’s proof positive that one can make a satisfying thrill ride with the barest of narrative bones.
I don’t know whether to be frustrated or amused when the cast is dismissed as a bunch of pretty, shallow people. Does it really matter? Once the monster attacks, it’s all about survival and trying to save loved ones. I don’t think anything would have played out much differently had the cast been a group of homely intellectuals. At any rate, even though the human element only surfaces in fits and starts like the ‘found footage’ being taped over, it’s strong enough to make “Cloverfield” work as more than just a rollercoaster. Any deeper characterization might actually have compromised the film’s efforts toward realism.
By the way, no one seems to have this problem with sci-fi classics of the ’50s — or am I forgetting the nuanced naturalism of the characters in “Godzilla” or “Them!”?
The problem I had with Cloverfield was, in fact, that it spent too much time on so-called ‘characterization’ and squandered what could have been a fun, ‘realistic’ B-movie monster movie by wanting to force a pretentious ’emotional’ set of manipulative characters on us. Make the characters into a set of blanker slates and I would have liked it more.
Also, the original Japanese version of Godzilla does actually have a pretty well-acted set of characters.
Definitely curious to hear Dave’s take on Rev Road. Glenn Kenny just posted a more-or-less unqualified rave. Curiouser and curiouser.
Where did you see Kenny’s “RR” review, Mark?
I just went to his website and couldn’t find it anywhere.
If they wanted Cloverfield to be a roller coaster ride, why did they spend 20 MINUTES on boring, shallow, lame (And in the case of the guy with the camera, CREEPY) people who couldn’t hold a five minute conversation, much less an 80-minute movie? And they set up the whole emotional crux as two people who kinda’ sorta’ like each other (The movie does not pull the weight in giving the emotional connection these people actually love each other, or at least give enough of a push that not only should I give a damn about his quest to find his kinda’ sorta’ girl, but that he has to selfishly drag his FRIENDS along to certain doom, too). I HATED these people. I didn’t care if they lived. I didn’t care if they died. I just wanted to GET AWAY FROM THEM, the last reaction you ever want to your characters.
I didn’t like the Blair Witch much, but at least the whole set up was convincing. Here, the more they try to make it look like found footage, the more I realize I’m being manipulated. And every time something interesting happens, nope, not what this movie cares about. Back to the dull bastards. Then it keeps going…. and going….. and going to the point of where I think they were actually TEASING the people who hated this movie with the possibility of an ending. Longest 80-minutes I’ve ever had to sit through. Then there’s little things, like the cell phone conversation in the New York subway system. I don’t care how upper crust you are and how good your cell phone coverage is. You aren’t getting a decent call down there.
Then there’s lame things fanboys lapped up like naked pictures of Angelina Jolie. Like the plug for the sequel at the end that you have to play BACKWARDS to understand! The “Be Sure to Drink Your Ovaltine” moment of the whole damn movie, and they LOVED IT! And you say I have to go on a half-a-dozen website wild goose chases to find the actual interesting parts of the movie? Fuck off.
The grainy aspects of the movie made the special effects at least convincingly integrated. That’s the only nice thing I have to say about it. It’s like getting seated on a flight to Cincinnati next to a guy who hogs your armrest, bitches out the flight attendant for not getting him drink service right away even though he’s seated in the middle of the plane, complains to you about his business not setting him up in first class, listens to Nickelback on his music player of choice way too loud, and then asks you to turn off your electronic entertainment because it’s “annoying.” This all may prompt the response “Tell us how you REALLY feel about the movie,” but I don’t say worst movie I’ve seen all year unless I MEAN it!
Drew’s interview with Jonze on AICN is smart and indepth. Though I must have missed the bit where they talk about the budget approaching TITANIC levels.
I’m surprised the Trek teaser didn’t show Leonard Nimoy at all.
Frankly, though, I wish they’d done it without him. I think this Trek will go down a lot easier if it plays like a Galactica-style reboot rather than a prequel/sequel that’s supposed to take place within an existing continuity that it looks nothing like. Kirk isn’t suppose to know how to drive a vintage car, for one thing.
And Pine had better get at least one good dramatic pause/hand gesture moment. But I do like that they seem to be going for an epic scope.
Lex, Ashlee Simpson just called. She’s in, but only if she can lip-synch the title song.
Dave-
Please stop ingesting mushrooms and getting kicked out of the Van Gogh museum for staring at the brushstrokes an inch from the canvas with dilated pupils and post something new soon…
Movieman, review is up on Glenn’s blog:
http://somecamerunning.typepad.com/
Apparently he saw the film a while ago.
Cloverfield OWNS. ODETTE YUSTMAN PLUS LIZZY CAPLAN = MORE LIKE “BONERFIELD.”
Decidedly NOT a Star Trek fan (beyond “Khan”) but that Abrams trailer OWNS and both times I saw it in a theater THE AUDIENCE ERUPTED IN DEAFENING CHEERS, and it’s awesome how it looks like a MICHAEL BAY MOVIE instead of some nerdfest.
Hmm. Maybe I do want to strangle you after all.
Thanks, Mark.
BOW to THE YUST.
UNBORN = FIRST MASTERPIECE OF ’09.
BANK ON IT.
Now you’re just making names up out of thin air. Who’s your next barely-legal crush, Norinda Blankenpoop? Or do you prefer Dustin Flerg (yes that’s a girl)?
Dave-
Please lay off the Panama Red, AK-47, Bubblegum, Purple Haze and Northern Lights while playing hide and seek in Anne Frank’s attic and post something new soon…
On my lunchbreak I went to an electronics store to buy a copy of FINAL DRAFT and I asked the hot chick at the counter if she wouldn’t mind helping me INSERT some HARDWARE, if you know what I mean.
It was fucking awesome.
If you take a look at the trailer on Apple.com, you can see the “cliff” in Iowa is clearly a quarry carved out of the rock and clay.
And sorry, but this Chris Pine guy looks like a fourth generation Zac Efron/Chace Crawford/Paul Walker hybrid – bested only by the kid playing his brother, Chris Hemsworth.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1165110/
For those complaining about the “MTV’s Real World” cast of CLOVERFIELD, this one looks like THE HILLS meets SPACE CAMP.
reasons why the above could never happen.
“A lunchbreak” – if you never stop eating Lex you can’t call it a break.
“buy” – No brokeass wannabe scripter would actually buy FD.
“Hot Chick” – Lex inhabiting real world space with any hot chick is an impossibility.
Okay, now here’s a serious question. We have a pretty solid age range on this blog, from people in their early 20s up to those in their 50s and beyond. So the question is, are the rising young stars of today, like the ones BMcintire just mentioned, and the ones Lex disgustingly pines after, actually especially vapid and bland, as they appear?
Or is that the way that every generation sees the new stars that follow their own particular age bracket?
Or is it that there’s always a natural shaking-out process, as talented and untalented hotties alike get cast in youth-oriented movies, and then the ones who actually have the chops are the ones who stick around?
Joe: I guess I didn’t have that much trouble with the characters because of the very premise: a recording of a yuppie birthday party is interrupted by a monster attack, and the cameraman keeps shooting. To me, this frees the filmmakers from some of the “necessities” of traditional storytelling, to the point where I think I now agree with jeffmcm that they could’ve gotten away with even less characterization. But as is, the balance isn’t that bad, IMO. We get a lot of the character stuff on the fly, and there’s no skimping on the action once we’re past the admittedly over-long set-up scene. Anyway, I thought the film played like gangbusters on the big screen. I’m guessing it loses a lot on DVD, and the lack of depth probably limits its rewatchability.
FWIW, noted film historian David Bordwell (or should that be “Not NOT David Bordwell?”) had some positive words for Cloverfield on his blog, and even those who hated the film might enjoy reading his thoughts (just Google his name and the film’s title).
I had to look up Final Draft. Can you tell I’m not in the business even remotely?
Jeff, I think B is the answer to your question. It’s too early to say if those folks Bmcintire mentioned are really rising stars. We can only tell that once they’ve become stars for real. There’s no telling if they’ll pan out or not. I think every Hollywood generation is like that. Very few stars transcend their era to be remembered long afterwards. Think about Paul Newman. His death caused a big fuss because he was one of the all time greats. But he wasn’t getting all the roles. The people who did are forgotten. Maybe they were popular in their day, but they didn’t stand the test of time. We’ll only know who did from this new generation once it happens.
I highly recommend the “Yellow Taxi” from Grey Area…Or anything from the Grey Area.
jeff-
I’d say that young stars of today are NOT more vapid and bland, although some of the young stars of yesteryear used to be required to sing and dance, perhaps making them more talented.
It’s probably also that some of these people are legitimately talented, but since I don’t watch things like Gossip Girl or High School Musical 3, they all seem to be one vast undifferentiated heap of smooth skin and shiny teeth.
jeff: Rising young stars are almost always promoted primarily on their looks, therefore our first experience of them is often at their most vapid, in some photo spread or ET interview, or in an innocuous movie or TV show aimed at kids. bmcintire says Chris Pine “looks like” an Efron/Crawford/Walker clone, and I’m sure I’d say the same thing if I’d seen only the Trek trailer, Princess Diaries 2 and Just My Luck. Since I’ve seen his grungy, out-there performance in Smokin’ Aces, I’m inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt going in to Trek.
I guarantee you if Speed Racer had predated Into the Wild, there would have been many blog posts along the lines of “Why would Penn hire this lightweight pretty boy, Emile Hirsch?”
When I first saw Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise, I didn’t think “Wow, future Oscar nominee.”
I thought, “Meh, competent pretty boy.” Going back, I’m sure no one in the ’50s expected Tony Curtis to knock it out of the park in Sweet Smell of Success. So, yeah, I think there’s a shaking out process.
What were people saying about Tom Cruise and Sean Penn circa 1983? Or Will Smith circa 1991? I have no idea. Might be an interesting comparison to make.
Hey Emile Hirsch was pretty convincing in his breakout role as “Turtle From Entourage” in ALPHA DOG.
For a glimpse at the previous template, peruse the flashless pans that were Iam Somerhalder:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0813812/
and Tom Welling:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0919991/
And I guess technically, Paul Walker belongs to an even older mint. He has, at least, actually aged capably into his features (though I won’t make any defensatory moves for his talents).
This all makes sense, but it still seems to me that, as a child of the ’80s (I’m 31), that the hot youngsters of that era just tended to look more like real people than the hot youngsters of today. To Cruise, Molly Ringwald, Emilio Estevez, Heather Langenkamp, all seemed to have a much-less-airbrushed quality to them than the Blake Livelies and Paul Walkers of today.
Or at least, that’s how it feels.
That FAST AND FURIOUS TRAILER FUCKING OWNS.
Every time that comes on with that AWESOME CAR STUNT, the audience is like HOLY SHIT, THIS LOOKS AWESOME; Then because they’re snobbish dicks they have to immediately downplay it when they realize it’s a FAST AND FURIOUS movie.
Not me. I usually shout FUCK YEAH! then throw up the DIO HORNS and start banging my head and yelling HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS SHE HOT when they show JORDANA BREWSTER.
I FUCKING RULE.
Also, Somerhalder was on a HUGE TV show where he got plenty of good notices, then he was on that HBO Tell Me You Love Me Show; Guy has decent chops but probably will have a hard time shaking those Rob Lowe lightweight looks.
Anyway, I don’t remember anyone IMMEDIATELY recognizing that Denzel Washington was a future megastar and Oscar winner around the time he was getting adopted by GEORGE SEGAL in the 15-times-a-day 1981 HBO favorite CARBON COPY.
And this weekend THE FEMALE JAMES DEAN will be CHRISTENED the QUEEN OF THE BOX OFFICE.
ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER.
And JBD, you need to fucking know your shit, because if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s BROKE. The whole reason I’m not famous already is because I’m too busy working a WELL PAYING JOB AND SHIT, unlike the rest of you freeloading roomate-having, out-of-state-plates-rolling JETRAG-wearing Silverlake poseurs, all sitting around at the fucking Ye Rustic Inn waiting out six months at a time between P.A. and editing jobs.
GO TO A FUCKING OFFICE AND GET A 75K A YEAR DESK JOCKEY JOB and suffer like me.
BE A MAN.
Also, I think Alpha Dog is the movie where several peoples’ careers went to die, not ‘breakout’.
Joe Straat review: Word!
I had THE worst headache walking out of that film. Not from the nausea inducing granny cam but the stress of gritting my teeth for 65 mins over how angry I was sitting in that movie. How many gaps in logic could one film muster? We see those alien critters maul through army men who were shooting at them w/M-16’s, yet later the cast of a runaway Tommy Hilfiger ad are able to kill them end of a broom handle. Not only that, how the hell do they get tanks in the middle of midtown Manhattan w/in 10 mins of swamp monster crawling out of the water but yet it takes them 30 minutes fly in some F-16’s??? WTF, did they have a layover in Dulles waiting for the baggage crew to come back from lunch?
“not only should I give a damn about his quest to find his kinda’ sorta’ girl, but that he has to selfishly drag his FRIENDS along to certain doom, too). I HATED these people.”
I’m sure it’s true, you never know how you’re going to act when thrust into a traumatic situation, but I’m pretty sure that once someone’s imbecilic actions leads his own flesh and blood to death, I’m voting for a new ship’s first mate. Some people questioned why, out of a city of 8.25M + people, would this beast target these five people. I think it just couldn’t stand their insipid yapping any more. When a simple STFU won’t do, go Godzilla on their ass, man, I totally agree.
**Spoiler Alert** For as much as this piece could possibly be ruined – The whole premise of what’s starts the journey is unasinous to the plot points w/in. Some girl dumps some guy to go home w/another dude, then gets impaled on a ??display shelf?? only the call the dude she spurns to come get her a few hours later??? Correct me if I’m wrong but shouldn’t we have seen the bulge in the front of her dress from having balls that big??
I don’t blame Col. Saunders for those lousy Strawberry Little Bucket Parfaits Kentucky Fried Chicken used to serve so I can’t hate too much on JJ for Cloverfield since he only produced it but the moment I have to start gnawing on one of his sterioded up production value flix like a bite of the Colonel’s long lost Rotisserie Gold recipe chicken, I’m outta there.
Fuck, Lex, I would LOVE to have your job. 75K? I’d take a 25% pay cut to make that happen. You don’t know how lucky you are. Anytime you want to trade, let me know (although I’m probably overqualified).
Well can you please spend some of it on a personal trainer. Then go to some clubs and fuck some models. Then shut the hell up.
For $75k you could work for me Lex. You make a good coffee?
re: young actors today
‘What were people saying about Tom Cruise and Sean Penn circa 1983?’
weird how threads interconnect. well, penn had already done terrific turns in ‘taps’, ‘bad boys’, ‘racing with the moon’, ‘fast times’, ‘falcon and the snowman’ and ‘at close range’ by the mid-eighties or so, a seasoned and undeniably talented thespian in no danger of being mistaken for a passing-fancy pretty boy. i can’t think of any young actors today who have that sort of pedigree at such a young age.
LexG – Denzel landed a six-season role in the multi-Emmy nominated ST. ELSEWHERE the very next year, and went on to play Steven Biko in CRY FREEDOM within the next five. And then came GLORY. He’s not my favorite actor in the world, but he’s a clear eight to nine genetic steps up from the Zac Efron-ites.
Blair Underwood and Antonio Sabato Jr. however, are another story entirely.
Would a SAVED BY THE BELL R-Rated feature do well?
I’m honestly flabbergasted. Lex makes more money than I think MY DAD has ever earned in his life, in what is probably a stable job shielded from the recession we’re in, apparently lives ALONE without roommates in beautiful suburban southern California, and still has the ENORMOUS balls to complain about how miserable he is on a several-times-daily-basis to a bunch of strangers.
Lex, I’ve been way too friendly and sympathetic to you over the course of this last year. From now on I might have to start giving you a hard time.
Oh, and Sean Penn kind of proves my point, because he was never a ‘pretty-boy’ even in his youngest days, right? He was always a gritty, dedicated character actor
yeah, i guess sean was never ‘pretty’ but his face was and is mesmerising on screen, esp. his eyes.
and the difference between ‘blair witch’ and ‘cloverfield’: in ‘blair witch’, i’m creeped out and want the three to survive; in ‘cloverfield’, i’m glad to see them all die horrible deaths and i couldn’t care less.
Penn was METHOD from early on. Got buzz due to that. But his looks weren’t gritty. Women dug his pretty eyes.
The mystique of young actors has been corrupted by the paps. Before their managers could control it. Now they attempt to manage it but most often fail.
The dedication to craft has been surpassed by the desire for fame by many young actors. The really good ones are the ones you don’t hear about.
Snap leahnz
weird how we both commented on penn’s eyes at the same time
oh double snap
Efron has had roughly the same kinda Disney-esque launch as Ryan Gosling had five or ten years back.
Gosling quickly ditched that baggage to do edgy shit; Efron did Hairspray and now a body-switch comedy with Matthew Perry and apparently a remake of Footloose. He seems to be talking a good game about wanting to do “serious” stuff, but it seems like he’s playing it too safe.
Plus, you know, he kinda looks like a douchebag.
Not to wax prophetic, but when I saw Downey Jr. in LESS THAN ZERO and Penn in FALCON AND THE SNOWMAN, I told my friends these guys were built to last.
Hey Jeff McDouche, while I’m glad you’re apparently *wowed* by my oh-so-extravagant lifestyle (“He has his OWN APARTMENT!”), I believe in looking UP, not DOWN.
It’s not enough, for me, to say, well, I’m doing better than Skid Row Joe, so I’ll just be thankful for that and keep my mouth shut. If so much as ONE ACTOR, ATHLETE, or Eurotrash Foreign Prince has the ability to get laid solely through sheer force of his recognizable image, then everything less is BULLSHIT.
In other words, you could pay me 100 MILLION to invent fucking computer software, but if I’m not FAMOUS ENOUGH TO COMMAND PUSSY, especially FAMOUS SQUACK, then all the money in the world isn’t shit.
Did Rondo Hatton pull the ladies Lex?
Dude I don’t know or care who that is but it’s obvious I’d be some awesome Philip Seymour Hoffman type actor and would OWN anything I come within a mile of.
And yeah, maybe I wouldn’t look like some CW network douche, but when I used to do extra work, every twentieth-billed motherfucker on that set was pulling hot extras. Hasn’t Artie Lange talked about banging hot extras on his sets back in the day? At a lean, mean 238, I’m nowhere near that (awesome) dude’s size, so if he can do it, I can.
But if I had A-list status I’d be lining up models and coke-whores in my trailer to go down on 14 at a time then I’d do them all while wearing a black bowler hat for no fucking reason then shout I AM YOUR COMMANDER, BOW TO ME!
I dunno, between selective memory, nostalgia and aging out of the teen market, I think we’re coming to some lazy conclusions here. For one thing, there’s the whole Apatow-generation gang, past and present, at least on the comedy side of things. Michael Cera’s not doing too badly, for instance.
As for drama, maybe if the studios were still making Bad Boys, Taps, Risky Business and the like, we’d be grooming more Methody youngsters who could blow us away with their meticulously researched intensity. I don’t see too much point in dissing the current crop until they are given a fair opportunity to prove their worth.
Lex, Zac Efron is in Richard Linklater’s Orson Welles and Me, or whatever it’s called. I don’t think he’s getting great reviews for it, but at least it’s outside his comfort zone and what’s expected of him.
I’ll drop out of the Cloverfield discussion, except to say I bet some of you jokers would’ve been real killjoys back in the 50s when cheesy-yet-timely sci-fi ruled. And I think it’s possible to hate the characters and still dig the film’s formal qualities (yes, even allowing for implausibilities, impossibilities, and the kind of timeline cheats that most action films make). But ultimately, of course, diff’rent strokes, etc.
So 50 or so posts later…..no one on this blog has seen Rachel Getting Married????
Geoff, I’ve seen it and I agree with most of your comments. I think the music is a bit indulgent, but I had more of a problem with the unbelievably long rehearsal dinner; I know that’s kind of the point, the unnecessary length of weddings, especially when you don’t want to be there. But still, a little much.
And I think you’re not supposed to love Rachel and hate Kym and I think both of them definitely are flawed. I think Rachel is unnecessarily cruel to Kym throughout a lot of the film, but in the end (SPOILER) they clearly love one another very much and Rachel is there for Kym when she needs it and they both share a resentment towards their absentee mother (END SPOILER).
Still, I think it’s a very good film with some great performances. But again, your criticisms are right on.
Over at Film Threat our annual ode to snark “The Frigid 50” is up and running. I sent in a link to get it up on the MCN main page but I think DP is lost in Amsterdam….
http://www.filmthreat.com/index.php?section=features&Id=2265
Geoff: I posted a little review of Rachel Getting Married is in the Weekend Estimates by Klady thread on November 16, 2008 at 09:49 PM, if you’re interested.
Don,
why would post a link to that drivel?
Heath Ledger the #1 most frigid person in Hollywood, because he’s dead.
Come on. What a bunch of lazy mother fuckers, but what do i expect from Film Threat. Let’s mock the guy because he overdosed and died. So clever.
It’s sad what passes for writing these days. Between Film Threat, Wells, and Chud, the bar just keeps getting stomped lower and lower. I don’t think these guys realize that their immature behavior gets more tragically sad as they pass into their thirties and forties. I’d like to think at some point their audience would grow up and require something more than rape analogies and smothering the franchises they claim to love.
The list isn’t as bad as you make it out to be anghus; at least not in the way you make it out to be. Dogging on Jason Statham’s output isn’t exactly rocket science, but what the fuck is The Bank Job doing lumped in with Death Race!? Last I heard, The Bank Job got great reviews and most of the comments I’ve seen online seem to agree. That and a couple of other careless opinions marr the piece a bit.
As for Heath Ledger, to quote Dave Chappelle in a weird way, “the man made Thriller”. He made a pencil disappear…
“Blair Underwood and Antonio Sabato Jr. however, are another story entirely.”
Wait a sec, Blair Underwood’s got chops. I caught his first episode on HBO’s “In Treatment” and I couldn’t turn the damn thing off.
re: tv teen stars / star trek
apparently, we’re in for xoxo-men
viaVARIETY
sorry ’bout that…this one works…
http://www.variety.com/VR1117996099.html
I meant “Yellow Cab” — but you’re not allowed to actually smoke nicotine indoors in Amsterdam now.
Finally watching FREAKS & GEEKS for the first time after all these years. Brilliant.
Yancy, re: your comment about ’50s b-monster-movies, I yield to no one in my adoration for that period of filmmaking, from the highs of Them! and Invasion of the Body Snatchers, to the lesser highs of The Leech Woman and The Monolith Monsters, to the lows of Robot Monster and King Dinosaur.
And yet, I still hated Cloverfield. Makes sense to me.
Lex: You seriously need to see a doctor and get on some goddamn drugs and/or therapy. You’re clearly trying to supplant your addiction to alcohol and self-pity with an addiction to sex. I was listening to Artie Lang on the radio the other day about his new book that’s out, and he’s the saddest, loneliest motherfucker on the planet. He literally spoke about having a TV gig that paid him $30,000 a week to spout dopey punchlines opposite Norm Macdonald and still he was blowing all of his money on trips to Vegas and heroin and anything else he could find to take away the pain.
I mean, I hate a lot of the garbage that you spout, as any good person should, but I don’t actually dislike you as it’s become clear that you’re a victim of forces out of your control. But some of these things actually are within your control to change, and it’s depressing and grating to have you reiterate your stubborn fear of making something different out of your life on a daily basis.
Does any of this make any difference to you? Do you need a personal intervention?
Yancy, re: your comment about ’50s b-monster-movies, I yield to no one in my adoration for that period of filmmaking, from the highs of Them! and Invasion of the Body Snatchers, to the lesser highs of The Leech Woman and The Monolith Monsters, to the lows of Robot Monster and King Dinosaur.
And yet, I still hated Cloverfield. Makes sense to me.
Lex: You seriously need to see a doctor and get on some goddamn drugs and/or therapy. You’re clearly trying to supplant your addiction to alcohol and self-pity with an addiction to sex. I was listening to Artie Lang on the radio the other day about his new book that’s out, and he’s the saddest, loneliest motherfucker on the planet. He literally spoke about having a TV gig that paid him $30,000 a week to spout dopey punchlines opposite Norm Macdonald and still he was blowing all of his money on trips to Vegas and heroin and anything else he could find to take away the pain.
I mean, I hate a lot of the garbage that you spout, as any good person should, but I don’t actually dislike you as it’s become clear that you’re a victim of forces out of your control. But some of these things actually are within your control to change, and it’s depressing and grating to have you reiterate your stubborn fear of making something different out of your life on a daily basis.
Does any of this make any difference to you? Do you need a personal intervention?
Dang, sorry for the double post.
ARTIE LANGE OWNS and when I used to be able to listen to Stern he was my favorite part of the show and I could almost always identify with his personal demons and apparent addiction to excess….
But I steadfastly am morally opposed to psychiatry, therapy, prescribed drugs, A.A., and rehab. I am not denying that it works for many people, and I would never deny or dispute anyone’s claims that it works for them. But for ME, where I’M concerned, it is a form of zombification and masks the true identity, personality and potential genius… What fun would a prescription drug-neutered “LexG” be, all zoned out and thoughtless like RP McMurphy in the last reel of Cuckoo’s Nest?>
I am going to keep raging, keep owning, and keep excessing when I feel the need.
I AM AWESOME.
Lex you must use a different dictionary than me. Cos when I look up ‘awesome’ I don’t see a photo of a giant turd.
Pease take lots of drugs. lots and lots. like a handful. now.
You’ll be famous for at least an hour I promise. I will blog about you. Even DP will. Just swallow. Thank you in advance.
JBD,
That bullshit makes me sad, since I actually, genuinely think your posts OWN and you’re one of the funnier people on the Cold Blog. Like, I don’t really care too much one way or another what too many people think here, especially with THE VAST MAJORITY of the blog singing my praises, but you’re pretty amusing so it sucks that you’re talking shit to a fellow genius.
But whatever, like I said, as long as I make an impression, good or bad, I don’t really care.
Last I had heard we had a big thing worked up for STAR WARS at #1…then Ledger popped in at the top slot. Even *I* thought that was a little rough but I bet he woulda been top 3 even had he not died. Dude didn’t exactly have an amazing output.
Lex. You had me at PWNED.
Even for me that was a shitty thing to say. I am sorry. And apologies to DP who had just mentioned that we were all playing nice.
Lex, nobody needs you to go into therapy or rehab or onto medication (except yourself when you get out of denial) but if you’re not going to do any of those things then you have an obligation to stop complaining about how much you hate your life, your weight gain, your career, etc.
I mean, that’s just logical, right? Shit or get off the pot, as they say.
Lex is so EXTREME he:
1) Has a stable job
2) Seems to have no friends and sees way too many movies
3) Is too afraid to go out and find chicks to fuck
4) Is to afraid to ditch it all and try to make it bigtime in Hollywood.
Lex sounds like a timid suburbanite to me!
And has learned nothing from Leykis 101 despite his said devotion to the radio toad master…