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By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Who's Watching The Watchmen?

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67 Responses to “Who's Watching The Watchmen?”

  1. jesse says:

    I find the ridiculous amount of slow-mo faintly troubling. I enjoyed 300 as the kind of slow-mo-heavy, dopey, intentionally over-the-top cartoon it is, but that’s not how I want my Watchmen movie. This should not be a movie about people walking away from explosions or getting thrown through windows like some kind of videogame shit.
    The character designs look pretty spiffy, though. I’m hoping the slow-mo this-is-so-fucking-dope-bro crapola is more for the marketing than it is representative of the movie as a whole.

  2. Aris P says:

    Rorshach’s voice concerns me.

  3. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    Is this a superhero movie or something – like that Affleck blind spandex number Daringdevil? I liked Flash Gordon this could be good. Is there a Queen theme song?

  4. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    There’s no stars in this movie? Is it going direct-to-radio?

  5. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    “Fans smother what they most love”
    – JBD 2008

  6. Blackcloud says:

    I liked this one better than the first one. Still doesn’t make what’s his name a “visionary director.” He’d have to have a vision first. At any rate, it’s better than the abysmal Star Trek trailer. Where is the thread to complain about that?

  7. Blackcloud says:

    Oh, and anyone know what the song is?

  8. EOTW says:

    As soon as I heard the voice, I knew everyone was going ot think of Batman. Also, I know this is nothing, I guess, but why is Dr. M wearing a thong or whatever in the still on the embed? Are they really going to put clothing on him in the film? I understand you can’t show a penis for two hours straight, but still. I really want this to be good, but I just have a bad feeling about the whole thing.

  9. LexG says:

    I miss the Pumpkins song from the first trailer.
    Also, as JBD said, is this like the lowest-wattage cast ever for a big blockbuster? Even when big superhero movies go with an unknown for the lead(s) to avoid actors with audience baggage or inflated cast budgets, they usually at least throw in SOMEONE cool, iconic or badass for the villain or a supporting part. Where’s the Spacey or Brando or Hackman or McKellan to lend some credibility?
    Closest thing here is Jackie Earle Haley. Everyone derides the lightweight Fantastic Four leads, but at someone out there knows who Chiklis and Alba ARE.

  10. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    THE WATCH MEN WATCH OVER US.
    BUT WHO IS WATCHING THE WATCHMEN?
    AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION OF ALL – JUST WHO IS GOING TO BOTHER TO WATCH THE WATCHMEN MOVIE?

  11. jeffmcm says:

    At least a million people on opening weekend.

  12. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    THE WATCHMEN
    STARRING that cool smoking kid from Bad News Bears (you know the 70s one where the kids actually swore and he was also one of those badass Cutters in Breaking Away)
    COMES a movie where stuff happens, glass breaks and zip zap zang laser shit goes everywhere. Look out. Boom. Nuclear bomb kiss. Wow. Bada Bing. Smash. Kapow! Duck Robin. Quack quack. Penguin is that you. Bale he stole your voice. Ha ha. Cheese and whiskers. Cool glance. Slow Mo Shot. Smash. Kablooey. I don’t care about the earth. Crackadoodoo. Oh my god. Zingadee. But who is watching. Blammo. Aerobics girl lookout! Crash cymbal.
    KABLAMAWHOOPDEEDOOKAPOW!
    COMING to a radio near you.

  13. jeffmcm says:

    JBD, are you channeling a less obnoxious Don Murphy?

  14. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    Yes and every weekend 10 million people smell their own farts.

  15. Blackcloud says:

    I have to admit, JBD’s precis of the trailer made me laugh.

  16. Aris P says:

    I think that thong might have been added just for the trailer, as it looks really fake.
    The opening song is by Philip Glass. The latter song is by Muse.
    I will see it opening weekend. I can’t remember the last film I saw on opening weekend. There Will Be Blood maybe.

  17. Hopscotch says:

    For what it’s worth I didn’t get the 300 craze. It looked like a video-game to me, many others loved it and thought it was super-hip. It looked different. It was a kind of movie that seemed no one had seen before. Again, I’m not agreeing with this, I’m just restating the perception of many who paid to see it.
    This looks retro, this looks familiar, I’ve seen this before vibe. I think the success (or failure) of The Spirit will be a good indicator of how this does financially. Will it be a good movie? Help me if I know.

  18. jeffmcm says:

    300 was a garbage film that had the good luck to come out at a time when Americans wanted to see a movie in which hordes of Bad Guys would be slaughtered while a few noble Good Guys were fighting righteously for A Cause.
    JBD: Huh? Surely it’s more than that.

  19. mutinyco says:

    The guy is bald, blue and glowing. And you think the thong looks fake?…

  20. Aris P says:

    Where’s the Trek trailer??

  21. LYT says:

    Dr. Manhattan did wear the thong in some of the comic scenes. The AICN test screening reports indicate he will be fully nude in a lot of the movie.
    As for Rorschach’s voice, they did base it somewhat off of a live reading Alan Moore did of it.
    Fear for the ending — that’s the part Snyder has most likely screwed up, if anything.

  22. leahnz says:

    i’ve heard the best thing about trek is urban’s dead-on mccoy. ah, karl

  23. jeffmcm says:

    I like Karl Urban too, but if the best thing in the movie is one actor doing an impersonation of a previous, deceased actor…doesn’t sound like much to hang your hat on.

  24. Rothchild says:

    The new Star Trek trailer is fucking incredible.

  25. leahnz says:

    i haven’t seen the new trek trailer, IS KARL IN IT??? please link it if you can, rothchild, anyone, i beg of you. i had a search for it but i’m an interwebs dumbass

  26. leahnz says:

    oh, and i’ll hang my hat on karl anyday

  27. Rothchild says:

    You can only see it in theaters until Monday. A computer screen couldn’t convey the scope of this thing.

  28. yancyskancy says:

    Maybe Dr. Manhattan should’ve been played by Jason Segel.

  29. Crow T Robot says:

    JBD my friend. You know what the worse part of the fan/geek takeover of Hollywood is? It’s that this generation is deprived of real new movie stars or pop culture icons to call their own.
    Instead they huddle around the inexpensive actor picked to play young Captain Kirk-Batman-James Bond-Spiderman-Superman-Obi-Wan-Exorcist-Jason Voohries-Frodo Baggins-Terminator.
    It’s depressing to anyone who gives a damn. The thrusting of recycled Generation X icons upon Generation Y is arrogant, lazy and ultimately cruel.
    I see a bubble about to burst. And it’ll probably be around the time Thor, Captain America, Hulk and Iron Man join forces in one movie to fight something from outer space. Eghads.

  30. Armin Tamzarian says:

    aw hellyeah, this looks great. anyone bemoaning a lack of overexposed “stars” in it is not only crazy but sounds like a studio distro exec, too.
    LYT, i love ya man, but a giant s**** is gonna be ridonkulous on the big screen. it’s what Ozy does that is important, not how he does it.

  31. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    Unfortunately Crow the infantilism of Hollywood will continue until in a 2001 like moment cinema becomes just a series of ‘cool’ goo goo gaga images like the watchman trailer except running for 140m.
    [sinister v/o guy begins}
    But doctor………… Its already begun.
    KABLOOEY!

  32. Blackcloud says:

    “The new Star Trek trailer is fucking incredibly bad.” Fixed.
    Seriously, it’s all downhill after the kid says, “My name is James Tiberius Kirk.” It’s edited with the same hyperactive style that mars the new Bond flick. It’s edited into incoherence. How appropriate that they’re being shown together.

  33. Rothchild says:

    It was edited in an exciting and engaging manner. They were trying to be mysterious and show the tip of the iceberg. They weren’t trying to tell a story or establish geography, which is a necessity of a film and not a trailer. You must be one of those people that knows nothing about movies if you think the editing style in a trailer has any correlation with the pacing and structure of the eventual film.

  34. leahnz says:

    ‘You can only see it in theaters until Monday. A computer screen couldn’t convey the scope of this thing.’
    what’s that, the part of karl i’d like to hang my hat on? (i just wanted to know if he was in the trailer, not too much to ask)

  35. Blackcloud says:

    “You must be one of those people that knows nothing about movies if you think the editing style in a trailer has any correlation with the pacing and structure of the eventual film.”
    I am fully aware of that, and as I pointed out to my friend afterwards, directors have little or no responsibility for trailers, so the lousy quality of the trailer cannot be blamed on Abrams. I am criticizing the trailer on its own merits. I nowhere say anything about the trailer indicating what the movie will be like. I also know that trailers have little bearing on movies because the QoS trailers made it seem like that would be an engaging flick, which it’s not.

  36. scooterzz says:

    paramount is hosting a presentation of footage from ‘star trek’ (star trek: the moppet years) next week on the lot…….i imagine there will be plenty of on-line snark after that…..

  37. Hallick says:

    “Everyone derides the lightweight Fantastic Four leads, but at someone out there knows who Chiklis and Alba ARE.”
    Yep. They’re the two who were better in “The Shield” and Celebrity Skin magazine.

  38. Hallick says:

    for leahnz –
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBQyjrRgE4c
    looks to contain one shot of Karl Urban, maybe .2 seconds worth.

  39. Hallick says:

    The first Watchmen trailer moved me more. This one just makes the movie look over-stylized and meta-vain. That one shot of the woman turning away from an explosion, her hair perfectly goddess-like and swirling gracefully as if she were in a fucking shampoo commercial, kind of makes me sick to my stomach.

  40. Hallick says:

    “Seriously, it’s all downhill after the kid says, ‘My name is James Tiberius Kirk.'”
    I disagree. That reading of his name was the lowest point possible. Going any further downhill would find the trailer going up the other side.

  41. LYT says:

    LYT, i love ya man, but a giant s**** is gonna be ridonkulous on the big screen. it’s what Ozy does that is important, not how he does it.
    I can’t really rebut that in a big way without spoilers…but how he does it actually has huge ramifications, up to and including the pivotal murder that sets the story in motion, and the outcome of the plot itself. I don’t want another V for Vendetta, where despite the faithful translation of about 50% of the story, the rest is ruined in a blown attempt to try and be relevant to today.
    As for ridonkulous…more so than Ozy’s outfit, or naked blue schlong? Did you think the ending of the first Hellboy looked stupid, or the various creatures in Hellboy 2?

  42. IOIOIOI says:

    There are plenty of ADULT movies that will always be more infantile, then almost every comic book movie. Seriously; enjoy being old, have a good life, and realize an entire generation has a different opinion on film then you do.

  43. leahnz says:

    bless you hallick, you’re a gentleman and a scholar! hell, .02 seconds of karl (that would be about right, too) is better than none, he looks to be in fine form as usual

  44. leahnz says:

    that russian singing in the opening credits of ‘the hunt for red october’ is on in the background, most distinctive. i didn’t even know it was on tonight

  45. jeffmcm says:

    I’ll bite (don’t I always?):
    IOI, would you name a couple of ADULT movies that are more infantile than ‘almost every’ comic book movie? Granted, I agree with the substance of this argument. I just think the rest of your statement is incredibly wrong-headed, like you’re on a f#*&ing team or something.

  46. martin says:

    Comic books are innately infantile, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The Watchmen is being aimed at 10-24 year old males. It may expand beyond that demo. But at its core, its a movie for young men coming to grips with their sexuality and whether that means coming out of the closet in a frilly costume or killing others in a video game world, it’s all part of the self actualization that every young man goes through. Fiction of this caliber has always been around, it’s not new or just a generational thing.

  47. boltbucket says:

    “The Watchmen is being aimed at 10-24 year old males. It may expand beyond that demo. But at its core, its a movie for young men coming to grips with their sexuality and whether that means coming out of the closet in a frilly costume or killing others in a video game world”
    You’ve obviously never read Watchmen.

  48. Aris P says:

    “The Watchmen is being aimed at 10-24 year old males”…
    Most retarded thing I’ve read all week.

  49. martin says:

    You’re out of it. Although I’d agree the comic book skews older than the film (which is what I was referring to). It’s still aimed at young men and Alan Moore would agree with that assessment wholeheartedly. I don’t know anyone over 25 or female that reads them, and although that audience exists, it’s a very small minority.

  50. Aris P says:

    Alan Moore is a crackpot. A brilliant writer, yes, but his assessment on anything comic-book-to-film related should be taken with a grain of salt as it is very skewed, ie, he DESPISES the film business.
    As far as who reads comic books, I’m not sure if you’ve been to a comic book store lately, but in the last 10 years at least that I’ve been frequenting them I’ve never seen a kid or a teenager in there. Ever. The overwhelming age group in these stores is over 30 — precisely the age group that read Watchmen when it came out in 87 (I was 14 then).
    I’m not sure how the film skews younger when, from what we’ve seen anyway, it’s a page-by-page faithful adaption of the book, which you admit skews older. Any film with grown men in tights jumping off ships that look like owls do appear childish, granted, but to say this film appears to be aimed at younger people is like saying Dark Knight (a guy in a bat suit chasing a dude with green hair and lipstick) was aimed at kids.
    The only kids who’ll see, and by kids I’m talking 14 and older, are those who have recently discovered the book, and, I think that’s probably not a very high number.

  51. boltbucket says:

    You’re right, Martin. The three-hour movie is rated R, so 10 year-old boys are obviously the prime demographic they’re aiming for.

  52. martin says:

    Right, like kids don’t get into R-rated movies.
    The reality is that if it’s selling toys it’s aimed at kids. The Dark Knight was aimed at 18-24 year old males with the marketing goal of broadening that core demo, but thats the core audience. Was it serious? Yes. Was it for kids? Yes. And the Watchmen is a product like anything else, and it’s designed for a specific consumer base. Sure, they could go after 50 year old women in Utah, but they probably would not get much traction. It’s obvious who this film is being sold to and being made for. The director knows, the producers know, the studio clearly knows. And there’s nothing wrong with that and there’s no need to try to defend at as something more.

  53. lazarus says:

    That’s too narrow a demographic, Martin. Maybe you’re forgetting how many males in their late 20’s/early 30’s that are in a state of arrested development and have similar taste to the range you’re describing.
    On this one, however, I think you’re wrong. The source material has a lot more subtext and layers than every other film of this kind, and that includes the heavily-plotted Dark Knight. Also, because some of the themes involved deal with aging, becoming outdated, unwanted, useless, etc. is something that is clearly meant to resonate more with adults who’ve had time to acquire a certain amount of perspective, not to mention regret over their lifetimes. Also, I think the “secret plan” raises some moral questions that are a lot choppier than what’s found in The Dark Knight (and I say this as a fan of the latter), and this goes straight to the characters themselves, with Rorschach, Ozy, The Comedian, and Dr. Mahnattan all representing different points on the moral scale.
    Now that may not be what the trailer is advertising, but simply by not changing the story Snyder is making a film about these things whether you think so or not. And I believe most of the reviews that will appear when this comes out are going to say right off the bat that this isn’t your usual comic book kid stuff. I think they’re going to try for a wider audience, and make no bones about the fact that this is as ambitious and serious a film as The Dark Knight, to try and pull in a wider demographic. They can’t make all their money solely off that one demographic.

  54. lazarus says:

    One more thing–I expect the final trailer, which will probably appear sometime at the beginning of the year, to be less whiz-bang and more serious in terms of describing the plot and tone. This one, like the teaser, seems more about grabbing attention than anything else.

  55. Hallick says:

    “But at its core, its a movie for young men coming to grips with their sexuality and whether that means coming out of the closet in a frilly costume or killing others in a video game world, it’s all part of the self actualization that every young man goes through.”
    Oh thank you Dr. Fraud(sic)…

  56. jeffmcm says:

    Martin, I think if you just revised your statement from ’10-24′ to ’16-32′ you’d see a lot less disagreement.

  57. leahnz says:

    in the trek trailer (yeah, i watched the best couple of seconds again), karl’s voice says, ‘space is disease and danger, wrapped in darkness and silence!’ so at the very least, we know mccoy hasn’t lost his flair for the over-dramatic
    re: early trailers (esp. for fantastical action flicks), out of necessity i think they just take as many completed or near-completed vis effects shots as they can muster and cobble them together with music – usually from some other movie – to dazzle the audience and convey the general look and flavour of the movie without having to bother too much with substance or continuity. reading too much into it is folly.

  58. Hallick says:

    “The Dark Knight was aimed at 18-24 year old males with the marketing goal of broadening that core demo, but thats the core audience. Was it serious? Yes. Was it for kids? Yes.”
    Which is to say that it wasn’t for adults, which is an idea I think you’d see voted down soundly by the people here who have watched The Dark Knight. You’re proposing a philosophy that’s nearly as noxious as LexG’s condescension when it comes to animated films. Maybe you should stop conflating the marketing and merchandising departments’ aims with the filmmakers’ aims.

  59. yancyskancy says:

    My main beef with the Star Trek trailer is it appears to be infected with a big dose of that di rigeur ‘chosen one’ b.s. I know it serves a venerable narrative and thematic purpose, but man, it gets old.

  60. Roman says:

    It’s interesting to me that Philip Glass’s (who is the greatest music composer in the world) score for Koyaanisqqatsi is so powerful that they downplay it, stopping it right before the really powerful bits kick in.
    Also, there are in fact, two tracks used here: first “Prophecies”, then “Pruit Igoe”.
    This is my favorite movie score.

  61. PastePotPete says:

    Star Trek trailer looks like Lost in Space 2.

  62. Aladdin Sane says:

    The second song is by Muse as mentioned. The title of said song is “Take a Bow” off the album ‘Black Holes & Revelations’.
    The trailer is pretty good I think. I have never been the biggest fan of the comic (good but great? really?), but I like what Snyder is doing overall (slow mo not so much). I think I may have to reread the book though before the movie comes out.

  63. Blackcloud says:

    “Pruit Igoe”.
    Seriously, Glass named a track after the defunct and very much unlamented housing project in St. Louis?

  64. dietcock says:

    Between “300” and the weird Euro banana hammock on Billy Crudup, I am now convinced without a doubt that Zach Snyder is the 21st century Kenneth Anger.

  65. jeffmcm says:

    Blackcloud, a section of the movie Koyaanisqatsi documents the decrepitude and destruction of that housing project.

  66. Blackcloud says:

    That would explain it.

  67. christian says:

    But it didn’t stop you from jumping all over the seemingly inapropos use of it…And you haven’t seen that masterful cinematic tone poem? Come on!

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon