MCN Blogs
David Poland

By David Poland

Another BYOB

Truth is… most of my impulse to write today was to explain why other stories were wrong or silly, whether it was positioning opinion as fact or a writer screaming about everyone else being silly and then participating in a circle jerk about the Oscars… there were some serious things too… but really, I am sick of being part of the circle myself.
As long as I am writing about others and not primarily the ideas, I am failing.
And so, your space to run with…

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53 Responses to “Another BYOB”

  1. a_loco says:

    I know I’m being a dick when I say this, but…
    it’s about time you made this observation.

  2. David Poland says:

    Not a dick, just not very observant. I’ve said it many times in many ways.

  3. mysteryperfecta says:

    How about writing about movies? Like, one you’re looking forward to, an announced project, impressions of new teaser/trailer, etc. You link to a lot of industry/inside baseball stuff on MCN, but you also link to the topics I’ve mentioned. Here, I get the vibe that those topics are trifling and beneath your station.
    Ninety-five of the topics you post are negative (I’m not criticizing; 95% of my responses are negative 🙂 ). So you could remind us that you do… like… movies. 😉

  4. The Big Perm says:

    I heard a lot of negative reactions to Brad Pitt in the Inglorious Basterds trailers. And yeah…I can see that. He didn’t really seem “on.” Oh well, I’m still going to check it out.

  5. a_loco says:

    Really? I loved everything about that trailer except for the completely non-Tarantino rock music.

  6. Just watched Tropic Thunder. It was alright. The end.

  7. Anyone catch Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman?? Here’s the clip:
    Either Phoenix is pulling a genius prank on everyone ala Andy Kaufman and that’s frigging hilarious and awesome or…
    …he’s as sick and fucked up on drugs as River was and that’s just pitiful and sad that no ones helping the guy.

  8. Joe Leydon says:

    Don: Have to admit, I felt the same way — is he kidding, or is he just screwed up?

  9. LYT says:

    Only tangentially movie-related but I just bought the new CD by The Lonely Island (the Saturday Night Live digital short guys), and am loving the uncensored Natalie Portman gangsta rap. It’s like one of LexG’s rants, but thrown down by a super hot Star Wars actress makes it awesome.

  10. LYT says:

    And did anyone else know that the actor who played the redneck rapist in Deliverance actually owns the domain name ?

  11. LexG says:

    Natalie Portman is HOT AS FUCK. TOTAL RAGER.

  12. LexG says:

    OH MY GOD, did anyone see this new Watchmen footage? LOOKS AWWWWWWWWWWWWESOME!

  13. LYT says:

    Way better than any footage shown thus far, that I’ll admit.

  14. LexG says:

    This isn’t remotely movie-related, but since it’s in the news and featured on puff piece celeb shows nonstop this week:
    All you bleeding-heart liberals (who never miss a chance to judge me or issue psychotic threats at people you don’t agree with!), I fucking dare you to tell me you don’t secretly kinda wish they’d reopen Gitmo for the sole purpose of sending this FUCKING IDIOT Octuplet Mom down there indefinitely.
    I might hate this chick more than fucking Hitler.

  15. Krazy Eyes says:

    That was some impressive footage. I didn’t know Patrick Wilson had that in him.

  16. Hallick says:

    “I heard a lot of negative reactions to Brad Pitt in the Inglorious Basterds trailers. And yeah…I can see that. He didn’t really seem “on.” Oh well, I’m still going to check it out.”
    I think if you look closely at the trailer, it’s working at cross purposes. Purely from a visual standpoint, it looks like a put on. But the music is trying to convince us that this is going to be one mean, bad-ass, Nazi-crusher of a movie.
    I mean come on – the temp from “The Office”, Eli Roth, and the nerdiest kid from “Freaks and Geeks” are going to rain fear and loathing down upon all of the Nazis in France? Really? Brad Pitt’s bit in the trailer also makes a lot more sense if his speech is being played for irony instead of being nothing but deadly serious.

  17. Blackcloud says:

    Lex, the person who needs to go to Gitmo is the guy who owns the salmonella peanut factory. Waterboarding is too good for that douchebag.

  18. yancyskancy says:

    Haven’t read the Inglourious Basterds script, but the trailer makes it look like a take-off of The Dirty Dozen, which itself had a lot of humor and a far-fetched premise. In fact, Basterds’ squad of vengeful Jews is probably less absurd than Dozen’s pack of degenerate criminals.
    As for the casting, not all of the Basterds look like nerds (and hey, even the Dirty Dozen had Trini Lopez and Donald Sutherland), but machine guns and grenades kinda level the playing field anyway.
    I’m always interested in seeing how Tarantino will mash up his influences and filter them through his own sensibility. The result often feels original (paradoxically enough), at least in comparison to the average Hollywood effort.

  19. christian says:

    Who really rages about the octuplet mom?

  20. yancyskancy says:

    “Rage” may be overstating it, but octuplet mom is generating nothing but animosity, as far as I can tell. Maybe I’m missing the defenses, or they’re being drowned out by the outrage. Maybe there’s some sympathy for what seems to be a mental illness (or is she just addicted to epidurals?), but in general an economically struggling populace is not gonna root for this baby machine.
    But yeah, the real rage probably comes from those who are sick of hearing about her already. 🙂

  21. christian says:

    That would be me;]

  22. movieman says:

    Not sure why there’s been such negative feedback about the Tarantino trailer.
    Looks pretty awesome to me (if just for Pitt’s wild-and-wooly chicken-fried accent). Glad to know there’s gonna be something other than “Up” that I can actually look forward to this summer.
    And BJ isn’t the weakest member of the “Office” ensemble as someone complained on another blog. There are no weak links to the nonpareil “Office” cast.
    Thanks for bringing up Psycho Mama, Lex.
    Yeah, it’s pretty clear that she’s seriously deranged. I find it pretty outrageous than the news media outlets giving her all that camera time are enabling her psychosis instead of referring her to a mental health specialist. (Octuplet Wackjob kind of looks like Norah Jones’ hard luck sister, doesn’t she?)

  23. a_loco says:

    Lex, did we just get VanillaRolled? or IceRolled?

  24. Krazy Eyes says:

    Psycho Baby Mom looks like a cross between Norah Jones and Angelina Jolie to me. Maybe there’s some sort of genetic predisposition to wanting to populate the world with your brood.
    I’s also agree that BJ is one of the weakest if not the weakest links on The Office. I kind of liked the season he was relegated to NY and only occasionally popped up and he’s been scarce this year too. Maybe I can thank Tarantino for that.

  25. yancyskancy says:

    I don’t know if B.J. Novak has any range, but he’s perfect as Ryan, in both his deadpan temp and yuppie a-hole incarnations. Maybe the character’s unlikability is skewing perceptions of Novak’s acting. I’ll reserve judgment till I see him in another substantial role.

  26. movieman says:

    Beautifully said–or typed, as the case may be–Yancy.
    Novak’s Ryan is the quintessence of the 21st century male yupscale careerist, and his performance is sickeningly, frighteningly dead-on. (Not surprisingly, the internet is full of Ryans.)
    And it looks like “Basterds” is going to give us 2-plus hours of the (only) good stuff in “Defiance:” Nazis getting brutalized.
    Yippie-kie-ay-mother******” indeed!

  27. jeffmcm says:

    Novak is perfectly fine in that part, the problem is that The Office’s writers have never really figured out anything interesting for him to do besides serve as generic Steve Carell straight man.

  28. christian says:

    Apropos of Gregg’s feigned stance, I give the GOP “leadership” a year before they try to impeach Obama. What a bunch of tools. So glad nobody’s listening to them anymore. Obama needn’t have bothered. America saw he tried.

  29. IOIOIOI says:

    He at least tried. If this package works. We have all sorts of Congress seats that could be in play in Republican districts, where the Grand Obstructionist Party vetoed a bill to help out their own constituency.
    It boggles the mind at how this group of people think. They take marching orders from a druggie radio host, cock about as if they won a resounding victory, and really believe they can take Obama. It’s some funny shit, that I hope will get funnier in 2 years.

  30. LexG says:

    DOUCHE-KU on Conan being CHARMING.
    Anyone gonna watch DOLLHOUSE? Anyone have an inkling if it’s gonna be a lecherous HOT CHICK SHOW for straight dudes (like Bay and Besson would make), or one of those camp-sensibility HOT CHICK SHOWS for fat chicks and gay guys on Television Without Pity (like, er, Joss Whedon probably made)?
    Basically I don’t care about female empowerment EVER and I damn sure don’t wanna see hot chicks deliver catty/snarky lines.

  31. LexG says:

    But I’ve ordered an extra ShamWow just in case.
    The Germans always make the best stuff.

  32. The Big Perm says:

    So you want a show for fat guys who stay home alone on Friday nights, do you?

  33. jeffmcm says:

    Did I miss the transition when ‘CHARMING’ became the new ‘OWNS’?
    I’d be all in favor of it, if not for the screaming caps.

  34. IOIOIOI says:

    Yes; CAPS EQUAL SCREAMING. SURE. RIGHT. YEAH. Goodness. The internet is way too damn fucking weird on occasion.

  35. LexG says:

    Just saying, I can never tell if guys like J.J. Abrams and Joss Whedon and McG are just suuuuuper-gay, or they’re like the douchey male drummer in an all-chick band. Either way it’s a great ruse because by paying lip service to female empowerment and writing “strong” female characters (which really aren’t, are really just there to ogle), they get to hang around hot trim 24 hours a day on the set.
    Me, I prefer THE HONESTY of a Bay or Besson just lathering a skinny chick up in spray tan oil and shooting them like it’s a Maxim shoot and the chick is a total cipher.
    Either way, THE ONLY TIME EEEEEEEEVER I care about the women/actresses in a movie is when they’re looking hot and preferably not talking.

  36. yancyskancy says:

    Rental tips for Lex: Children of a Lesser God, The Piano, Johnny Belinda.

  37. KamikazeCamelV2.0 says:

    Look, I know Lex is just putting on an act, but saying stuff like “Either way, THE ONLY TIME EEEEEEEEVER I care about the women/actresses in a movie is when they’re looking hot and preferably not talking” is pretty much confirmation that he is the dirtiest fuckin’ piece of scum around and i wish he’d fuck off to where he came from. What an arsehole pig.

  38. KamikazeCamelV2.0 says:

    Oh yeah, I’m just being HONEST. You’re a pathetic loser.

  39. jeffmcm says:

    Kami, you’re 1000% right. He uses the anonymity of the blog to say what he really, deep down thinks. The Lex that we see here is the real thing, the Lex that has a job that he goes to every day and gets along with his female coworkers is the phony version.
    And he wonders why he’s lonely? Pretty goddamn obvious.

  40. Lex’s reactions to –
    The Piano: Fuck yeah! That shit OWNED. Sam Neill was so right to cut off that bitches finger. She was a cunt and I was so glad she didn’t speak.
    Children of a Lesser God: John Hurt tapped that mute piece of ass, OWNAGE! I wish I could find a deaf mute piece of VAG so she couldn’t talk about what a repulsive low life sexually degenerative piece of dog shit i am. OWN.
    Johnny Belinda: Fuck that shit. It’s OLD and in BLACK AND WHITE! I didn’t even think women (aka WORTHLESS PEOPLE WITHOUT DICKS) were allowed in movies back then. Like it should be. That chick was Bewitched is ugly.
    Or, that’s what I imagine they’d be ’cause he’s a pathetic, sexist, derogatory arsehole (whether in real life or in alter ego form – they’re probably just as bad as each other).

  41. that was meant to be “That chick FROM Bewitched”. And I was going so well, too.

  42. yancyskancy says:

    You also fell into the old John Hurt-John Heard-William Hurt confusion. William was in Children of a Lesser God.

  43. LexG says:

    Whoa, Kam, what’s with all the hate? Damn, dude, if you’re trying to make a point about me being “an arsehole” (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA we don’t so that in THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, CROCODILE DUNDEE), you’re not exactly taking the high road. Even if you’ve got Jeffie M on the back up, playing hype man.
    Like, chill out and watch some old Jacko Energizer commercials, put a shrimp on the barbie, drink some Fosters and put up that rabbit-proof fence or something. But take it down a notch, son.
    And I say that after being strangely honored and mildly amused you’d try to recreate my “voice” for those mini-reviews. It’s a funny concept actually, just mixed results.

  44. The Big Perm says:

    You’re a mixed result, Lex.
    A mix of boring and shit.

  45. Lota says:

    Actually, I did think that was Lex’s review piece, and he was posted under the name Kamikaze as a joke.
    Hope the fires are totally over and out Kam. A friend’s house is smoked enough that the family can’t return, most likely.

  46. “Whoa, Kam, what’s with all the hate?”
    You see, I don’t mind coming off as an arsehole if it means exposing your tired pathetic routine as a load of bullshit. If ever anyone needed convincing that your entire personality is a big fat fake then they just need to read your reply. You gave yourself away, Lex. Your bruised “why me?!?” mentality doesn’t fly.
    And, yeah, we use “arse” not “ass. It’s called cultural differences. Grow a brain and learn something for once in your life you juvenile dropout idiot.

  47. LexG says:

    How is it that almost every single famous person I can think of from Australia OWNS (except for Jacko and Paul Hogan), but Kamikaze is such a humorless, self-serious knob?
    Christ, dude, even your best pal leah GETS THE GODDAMN JOKE and respects the Lex. Lighten up, man.

  48. I don’t care who gets it or who doesn’t. It’s unfunny, insulting, derogatory and as old as the pyramids.
    To paraphrase someone famous:
    I wouldn’t want to be a part of any country’s education system that gives Lex’s three degrees.
    I wouldn’t want to be considered humourous by anybody who thinks “Either way, THE ONLY TIME EEEEEEEEVER I care about the women/actresses in a movie is when they’re looking hot and preferably not talking” is funny.
    Lota, thanks for the kind words (and everyone else who has said so, too). I don’t know anyone who has been affected directly, but it’s still tough to see.

  49. aw, that sounds harsh towards America. I love America. Just not Lex.

  50. IOIOIOI says:

    Arse is at least funny unlike the hiring and renting bit of business. How parts of the world can rent people and hire cars. Blows my mind.

  51. jeffmcm says:

    Kami, I think this is pretty obvious, but you are clearly a much more emotionally-fit and put-together person than Lex is. I don’t understand why he insists on bashing you, except that maybe he thinks you’re an easy target.
    America is pretty great. Lex represents pretty close to the worst of all of us, so I apologize on his behalf.

  52. LexG says:

    SUCK UP A LITTLE HARDER, PUSSY BOY. Maybe someday SOMEONE will like you (other than your obvious roommate and equal in boring tooldom, Bitch Perm.)
    Hey McDouche what do you recommend, the tuna $5 footlong or the Cold Cut Trio?

  53. Clearly Lex knows I’m right because instead of having a go at me he’s reverting back to Jeff, an easier target for him because he knows he can get away it more. What a tosser.

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon