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By David Poland

BYOB – Room 2+2+2,22

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51 Responses to “BYOB – Room 2+2+2,22”

  1. The Big Perm says:

    So I saw The Fall last night. Great movie! I like Tarsem.

  2. Joe Leydon says:

    Hey, Don: Even though I didn’t get a Transformers toy this time around, I’m still gonna go see your movie tonight anyway.

  3. scooterzz says:

    joe — they sent out transformers skateboards… lean on ’em…..

  4. bulldog68 says:

    The UK and Japan are reporting that Transformers 2 beat Transformers 1 by 71%, raking in $20M, according to showbizdata. Yowza. Also Star Trek actually went up by 1% this weekend. Good thing it did, cause Tran2 is gonna suck the life out of every male oriented flick this week. I think it’ll be that huge. But will it behave like the typical blockbuster sequel? Bigger opening and poorer legs?

  5. LexG says:

    Like the mighty Monolith in 2001, all in its wake are helpless. They should just BAN OTHER MOVIES for the next four weeks. Public Enemies is going to make 1/9th of what it would have if they’d moved it away from Bay.
    It will top TDK in every way. Yes, white L.A. film biz dudes don’t see it coming, all asking, “DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES IT????” But go ask some Glendale/Burbank mall kids. This movie is going to galvanize them like Pearl Harbor (the event not the movie) galvanized the United States of America.

  6. bulldog68 says:

    Joe, did you like Transformers 1?

  7. leahnz says:

    ‘trannies deux’: shit goes boom – big bots – big mess – stupid humans – stupid bay – yawn – huh?

  8. scooterzz says:

    btw — saw twenty minutes of the zemeckis/carrey christmas carol in imax 3-d today… that’s some pretty amazing tech…. i thought ground had been broken with ‘ice age 3’ but this was off the hook stunning….
    and, lex, jftr i enjoyed ‘tranny 2’….it’s undeniably bay doing what bay does best….

  9. bulldog68 says:

    If I recall, there was an argument two years ago about the Bay place in society. Don’t you ever feel for a Big Mac Leahnz? Dependable, good for your soul not for diet… recognize the colors and the wrapping…and sometimes, when the hunger pangs hit you just right, you take a bite and you are not only satisfied, but you have an enjoyable experience, because the lettuce was fresh, the buns were warm, the patties were the right consistency, and the waitress was either a hot twenty-two year old with gorgeous natural boobs that perched just perfectly, or a guy that looked like an unscrubbed Cruise/Pitt/Smith, whatever your preference. Don’t you ever get that Leahnz?

  10. Hallick says:

    bulldog, most Big Macs are disappointments, and I say this not from the high horse of health but from constant and regular experience. You can chase that perfect Big Mac just like a junkie chasing his next REAL high.
    Still, Transformers 2 looks good.

  11. bulldog68 says:

    Well after billions of burgers served, I think most would disagree would you Hallick. I’m sure you do however get my point. Replace Big Mac with whatever mega-consumer product you personally enjoy, coca-cola, Domino’s Pizza, cheap ass Chinese food that sometimes seems to be indistinguishable from gourmet chinese food that your best friend sweared by, whatever your popular poison. Bay is like the Jerry Springer of filmakers, he knows exactly what he is and does, and gives the crowd what they want in spades. Its the ENTERTAINMENT industry, and sometimes people forget that.

  12. jeffmcm says:

    Just because people like something, it doesn’t make it ‘good for your soul’. What a perplexing statement. That’s like saying cigarettes are bad for your lungs but good karma.

  13. bulldog68 says:

    Seems like you’re equating apples and oranges jeff. I can’t get into that whole ‘soul’ debate cause that is an unwinable one in my book. But comparing film to cigarettes is is a metaphorical non-starter. Ot to Big Macs for that matter. Don’t get me wrong, if you don’t like Bay, I understand, but if something that’s legal, non-threatening, puts you in an alright frame of mind, then get your rocks off. And even if I were to give you your cigarette reference jeff, something can be bad for your lungs and still good for your soul. I stopped smoking cold turkey about twenty years ago, but hey, when I remember enjoying few good pulls that seemed to calm me and put me in better frame of mind. Bad for the body yes, but for the ‘soul’, it was good at the time.

  14. martin says:

    If McD’s actually had waitresses, and they looked like Megan Fox, I might grace their premises.

  15. LexG says:

    Bay should do a movie with Megan Fox and Evan Rachel Wood called CLAMBAKE.

  16. martin says:

    Cinematical seemed to like it:
    “Michael Bay, condensing the cumulative total of the spectacle from all of his seven previous films into one unwieldy, gargantuan opus, has exceeded even the possibilities of sequel-driven “moreness,” combining his own muscular, high-gloss sensibility with the conventions of blockbusters past, present, and probably future to create a monolithic action masterpiece that feels destined to be the biggest movie of all time.”

  17. Aris P says:

    Is the Proposal that script that MGM bought 6 years ago? Pete Chiarelli, the writer, was a CE there. I read a spec when I was there that he wrote under a pseudonym — and it was about some female executive who fell for her assistant and he was not a US citizen, so he had to get a green card, etc etc… I remember pitching it as a modern “Green Card” (the Depardieu film)…
    Is that this film??

  18. Wrecktum says:

    Both The Proposal and Green Card were released by Touchstone. Disney’s got the market cornered on illegal immigrant marriages.
    Is that Christmas Carol footage the same as the Cannes footage? I had an early peek on a 3-D IMAX screen. Very impressive. Kinda scary.

  19. Joe Leydon says:

    Bulldog: Enjoyed the first Transformers as an entertaining popcorn flick. And the Big Mac comparison is apt: I knew what I would get from Revenge of the Fallen, and I got it. The only downside will be the upcoming postings in which one group predictably complains that the sequel glorifies the military, and the other group predictably complains that Jon Voight must have been dropped from the sequel because of his right-wing politics. Yawn. Reading how LexG reacts to Fox’s cleavage will be a lot more fun.

  20. IOIOIOI says:

    Joe: the twins should be a real discussion in here in terms of their OFFENSIVENESS or not. Nevertheless, I am just not feeling it being TDK big. I got a whole “three and done” feeling to this flick. I have no idea why, but it lingers there. Hmmm.

  21. Joe Leydon says:

    IO: You know, I actually did think of saying that The Twins would be an issue, too. But here’s the thing: On several occasions in the past, when I have complained about what I thought of as racially insensitive (if not borderline racist) characterizations in movies, I have been chided by BLACK people to lighten up. Case in point: Kangaroo Jack. When I complained about the kinda-sorta minstrel-show tone of Anthony Anderson’s character in that one, I actually got angry e-mails from a couple of African-Americans, accusing me of being a racist for denigrating what they saw as Anderson’s wonderful comic performnace. Go figure. I have no doubt, no doubt whatsoever, that some black folks (especially teens and pre-teens) will think The Twins are laugh-out-loud funny, and would accuse me of being an Ofay with a stick up my ass if I said otherwise.

  22. Joe Leydon says:

    IO: Oh, and as much as I might have enjoyed this one, I really found myself thinking at the end: There really is no earthly reason for a third Transformers film. Mind you, I am sure that won’t be enough to stop them from making one, but…

  23. IOIOIOI says:

    Joe, I have only one word for you: UNICRON.

  24. Joe Leydon says:

    Geez, you think? I mean, Orson Welles won’t be around to provide the voice this time, so…

  25. The Big Perm says:

    I think you can still like crappy junk food movies and not care for Bay. I don’t mind stupid, it’s just that Bay is so aggressively stupid. Which I’d still sort of be fine with but I also think his action scenes suck, apart from some of Bad Boys 2.

  26. I’ve hated as many Bay movies as I’ve liked so it doesn’t really bother me. Transformers 2 looks fun and I liked the original. etcyadablahwhatever.
    Also, I have never eaten a McDonalds burger in my life. Although I did buy some fries last Saturday night when I had a wicked craving after drinking too much beer. :/

  27. leahnz says:

    “If I recall, there was an argument two years ago about the Bay place in society. Don’t you ever feel for a Big Mac Leahnz? Dependable, good for your soul not for diet… recognize the colors and the wrapping…and sometimes, when the hunger pangs hit you just right, you take a bite and you are not only satisfied, but you have an enjoyable experience, because the lettuce was fresh, the buns were warm, the patties were the right consistency, and the waitress was either a hot twenty-two year old with gorgeous natural boobs that perched just perfectly, or a guy that looked like an unscrubbed Cruise/Pitt/Smith, whatever your preference. Don’t you ever get that Leahnz?”
    uh…ok, bulldog, i seem to have been called out for some reason re: bay, so alrighty then, i’ll play along
    (and instead of a FUCK, NO! followed by a tirade replete with colourful expletives that would make a sailor blush on why bay is a sorry-ass one-trick-pony director, which might feel great for me to unleash but isn’t very useful, i actually took a moment to collect my thoughts, as follows)
    yes, i like a big mac now and again, but equating bay to mcd’s insults the golden arches; bay is far more deep-fried KFC, dripping with grease, and if everything at KFC was also deep fried in cheese that would be even more apt. i ADORE action movies and i have NEVER, EVER felt either hungry for or satisfied by a michael bay flick.
    remarkably, as a director he has only grown less enjoyable with time and experience; ‘the rock’ is the only one of his films i find even remotely engaging and i attribute a good deal of that to the cast. i did find the first ‘transformers’ mildly entertaining – a case of one step forward, two steps back – with some fantastic action sequences connected by drek kept afloat (just barely) by shia’s charm. bay’s action stays with me for about as long as it takes me to get out to the car park.
    a quote:
    ‘i make movies for teenage boys. oh dear, what a crime!’
    – michael bay
    well, i am not, in fact, a teenage boy. but i think michael bay is still a teenage boy inside his head, and quite a smarmy little fucker at that. his sensibility is unbelievably limited, and he has issues with women that become positively glaring when translated to the big screen. his women are consistently depicted as ‘tarted-up barbi dolls’ (even the extras in his movies look like barbi dolls, what are the odds?) with no depth or complexity, but having said that none of his characters – male or female – portray much in the way of nuance, naturalism or pathos, so the fault is not limited to the female characters but is far more noticeable (his women kinda make me sick).
    bay’s skill set is also laughably limited. he shoots big set-piece action sequences very well (tho many of his shots are taken directly from far better action directors who have trail-blazed before him), but his ability to build tension through a film is virtually nil, largely because his characters are paper thin and the performances he elicits from his actors/tresses range from laughably bad to passable. to do action engagingly and effectively, convincing, substantial characters we care about are critical (along with a decent story), and bay lacks the ability – and perhaps the desire? – to create such characters, the very glue that holds an action film together and gives it heart.
    perhaps worst of all is bay’s trade-mark inherent hockum. good god, the man does cheese like no other – even his sense of humour is cheesy. and when he tries to what i assume is throw women a misguided bone and film ‘romance, it is nauseatingly corny verging on gag-inducing (i thought the fact that he thought ‘pearl harbor’ was going to sweep the oscars like ‘titanic’ showed a remarkable but somehow unsurprising combination of lack of self-awareness, delusion and ego).
    finally, i’m not going to link to a recent email that’s been doing the rounds here in which bay chides execs for what he sees as poor promotion of ‘trannies deux’, because it feels a bit mean spirited (oddly i haven’t seen the letter on any of the sites i visit, which seems weird, but perhaps i just don’t visit the right places). suffice to say, bay’s english composition and grammar are rather appalling, and his thought processes appear less than insightful. for the first time in my life, i actually felt sorry for bay upon reading his words. i don’t think he’s the sharpest tool in the shed and for me, this translates into his film-making.
    (i actually think michael bay would have made a far better DoP than director; he’s skilled with a camera and capturing visual spectacle but remarkably unskilled at telling a compelling story. working alongside good directors, bay could have been an epic photographer, you never know)
    of course, this is all IMO but there you go. my first – and last – bay essay

  28. LexG says:

    One of the ONLY directors (after LaBute, Oliver Stone, Spike Lee, Abel Ferrara and Luc Besson) to “get” women.
    Bay GETS that NOT ONE PERSON ON THIS PLANET goes to see AAAAAAAAAAAANY movie based on the acting talent of the female lead or her complex motivations. EW can put Kate Snorelet on the cover a THOUSAND more times, but even WOMEN don’t go to see “GOOD FEMALE ROLES.”
    FUCK YES. This is the role WOMEN SHOULD PROVIDE ON THIS EARTH. Because they’re usually not that interesting, on screen or off.
    BAY IS YOUR SUPREME COMMANDER and I want my 100 dollars in purchased tickets to go STRAIGHT into his FERRARI-AND-PUSSY ACCOUNT, fuck the middleman.
    He is a SHINING EXAMPLE of what MAN SHOULD BE on this planet.

  29. LYT says:

    “the other group predictably complains that Jon Voight must have been dropped from the sequel because of his right-wing politics.”
    Seems unlikely, considering the cheap shots taken at Obama in this one. Sure, part one briefly depicted Bush as wanting to eat a Hostess Ding Dong, but in this one, the president (mentioned by name as Obama) runs and hides in a secret bunker at the first sign of trouble, and is constantly trying to negotiate with the Decepticons, with a smarmy bureaucrat operating under direct orders from him constantly screwing things up and tying the military’s hands.
    Doesn’t bother me, an Obama supporter, because I think anyone who takes the politics of Transformers too seriously needs a LOT of perspective on things. But I think it makes Bay’s views clear. There was no need to mention Obama by name since you never see him.

  30. LexG says:


  31. LexG says:

    Important question: (I had a rant planned out but I’ll keep it simple)….
    How come EVERYONE in L.A. is SUPER opinionated about movies but ultimately they don’t seem to like them (or see them) very much?
    Just seems everyone in town thinks they’re gonna be a writer or actor, they’ve been kicking around for twenty years here, but almost none of them actually GO to movies or ever like anything they see.
    Are there aspiring BASEBALL PLAYERS who never watch a game? Wannabe popstars who haven’t bought a CD or downloaded a song since 1999?
    I don’t mean Hot Bloggers, per se, who are super into this shit or write about the industry. But in general, go to an acting class, go to a posthouse, everyone thinks they’re gonna make it but they don’t even LIKE movies.
    Seems Tarantino had this rant once, about how the other dudes in his acting class pissed them off because they were so flippant about film.
    LEXRULE: If you don’t see at LEAST 75 movies a year in a theater, burn your screenplay and move back to Wisconsin.
    LEXRULE: If you dislike more than 30% of the movies you see, you’re just an asshole. Maybe film isn’t for you. You should be entertained and excited by just about everything you see, even if it’s pretty bad. A film lover finds entertainment in just about anything. I point this out because I can’t tell you how many one-screenplay-for-20 years old-ass know it alls seem to act like seeing a bad movie is some personal affront to them. I walk out of MASTER OF DISGUISE just as happy as I do out of THERE WILL BE BLOOD, because MOVIES ARE AWESOME.
    In short: Bunch of SOUR MOTHERFUCKERS in this town.

  32. LYT says:

    It’s true…a friend who is an aspiring actor doesn’t even know who David Lynch is…

  33. LYT says:

    That said, Master of Disguise was FUCKING AWFUL.

  34. LexG says:

    Yup (re: that Lynch anecdote). Totally.
    In posthouses, acting classes, and the open mike comedy scene, that abounds; Bunch of gruff, sour, endlessly complaining motherfuckers who literally see one movie in a theater every other year, if that (I know one dude whose last cinema experience was REVENGE OF THE SITH four years ago.)
    All complaining about how “They don’t make ’em like they used to,” no idea who ANYONE is that’s current in the biz… yet all convinced they’re gonna get a sitcom deal right quick or sell that ONE screenplay they’ve been tinkering with since ’97.
    And all of them HATE FUCKING MOVIES.

  35. yancyskancy says:

    ArisP: I know nothing about the history of The Proposal, but the premise you cite is the same as the current film, except it’s the female exec who’s in danger of deportation. I’m not sure how the premise would’ve worked the other way around, really, since her power over her assistant drives the plot. Maybe you’re remembering it wrong?

  36. LexG says:

    Side rant:
    Always like it’s 1985 for her with her DEATH WISH 3 cut.

  37. LexG says:

    Side rant #2:
    The Burt Reynolds “Heat” from 1987 is the funniest shit ever. HOLY SHIT is that movie awesome(ly bad).

  38. Joe Leydon says:

    Heat is one of the few films I can think of that really was a bona fide career killer. I mean, think about it: Has anyone heard of director Dick Richards (a.k.a. R.M. Richards) doing anything, anywhere, since that fiasco got released? And it’s not like he hadn’t done anything of note beforehand: The Culpepper Cattle Company was pretty dang good, actually. And Farewell, My Lovely and Rafferty and the Gold Dust Twins have their admirers. But after Heat

  39. Joe Leydon says:

    LYT: I didn’t say it would be a logical complaint. I simply said the complaint would be made.

  40. hcat says:

    Isn’t Heat the one where Burt leaps up and breaks the lightbulb with his foot? Out of all the actors to play some ubernimble hand to hand combat expert a middle aged Reynolds is a terrible choice. He moves like Moore did in his later Bond movies.

  41. The Big Perm says:

    The old adage is that anyone working in films doesn’t get to see many because they’re actually busy. Which I’ve generally found to be true. People seeing a shitload of movies in the theater aren’t writing their scripts or auditioning or shooting a movie.

  42. gradystiles says:

    So when should we expect David’s 2500 word screed on Nikki’s site being acquired by

  43. anghus says:

    Transformers 2 was better than the first. The action is crazy. Enjoyed it much more than the original.
    And in an effort of fairness, i saw the Proposal and take back what i said about Anne Fletcher. Entertaining movie. Nice job of keeping the tone light. Sandra Bullock plays a fine bitch. I hate the genre and still enjoyed the movie which is a testament to Reynolds, Bullock, and Fletcher. When you’re wrong, you’re wrong.

  44. scooterzz says:

    i mention this only because david lynch’s name has come up a couple of times in this thread: tomorrow, hdnet is debuting ‘surveillance’ before it’s short theatrical run…it’s classic lynch but directed and written by his daughter, jennifer…it’s delightfully goofy/weird/bloody….just thought i’d mention it….

  45. The Big Perm says:

    Wow, someone let her make another movie?

  46. christian says:

    Lex knows EVERYBODY in LA and what they are doing or not but still doesn’t have the balls to do it himself. Yeah, everybody working here hates movies.

  47. David Poland says:

    Heat was a terrific novel by William Goldman… which made that movie that much more painful.

  48. jeffmcm says:

    Bulldog, cigarettes may have been good for stimulating the pleasure receptors of your brain and producing a tranquilizing effect, but they weren’t ‘good for your soul’.
    Let’s say that at best, the Transformers movies distract people from their awful lives and leave it at that. Harsh? Maybe, but I don’t see any other rational justification.

  49. yancyskancy says:

    anghus: Glad you dug The Proposal. I caught it last weekend too and thoroughly enjoyed it (granted, I was predisposed to, being the Fletcher defender here). I think she’s very deft with the camera, and the script is pretty smart within that formula. Great casting and editing, too.

  50. bulldog68 says:

    Just for the record, my life ain’t awful.

  51. bulldog68 says:

    My last post was addressed the Jeff.

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon