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David Poland

By David Poland

BYOB – It's Tuesday

A late night with Julie & Julia (Streep’s 16th nomination), an early morning with the OB, and a lunchtime chat with Chan-wook Park has kept me from doing any actual work. Anything good happening out there?

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29 Responses to “BYOB – It's Tuesday”

  1. LexG says:

    “Anything good happening out there?”
    I have a boner.

  2. LexG says:

    I have a GOOD IDEA. You know what they should have?
    Like how they have COMIC-CON, they should have like a SQUACK-CON where like the 100 or so hottest actresses, celebutantes, pop chicks and models all gather in S.D. and like dudes can go down there and meet them and get an oiled lapdance while “You Gotta Believe” by MARKY MARK and “Humpin’ Around” by Bobby Brown or “Steppin to the A.M.” by 3RD BASS play in constant rotation, and all the lighting is like that club/stripclub UV blue with strobe lights and there’s like panels where dudes can ask them to make out with each other or have pillowfights.
    Oh, and it would be closed to the general public except for LexG, Wahlberg, Ben Affleck, Denzel Prime Minister Pete Nice, MC Ren, and Thomas Jane and we’d go in and get to BANG ALL THE CHICKS.

  3. Hopscotch says:

    The Green Zone Movie that Paul Greengrass is directing, is coming out Spring 2010.
    Wolfman with Benicio Del Toro, also moved to Spring 2010.
    and Universal can’t catch a break it seems.

  4. hcat says:

    Universal should see some decent returns for Couples Retreat, I saw the trailer in front of PE and I can see that doing some actual business beyond their 60 million ceiling they seem to hit for their Role Models, Baby Mama size comedies. And despite its incredibly bland title change Love Happens might do some business. But the biggest problem Universal has is the quality of their movies has noticibly gone down since their acquisistion by NBC. The television wing has rejuvinated itself with some great work with Office, 30 Rock, House, Battlestar, and Friday Night Lights but the product from the movie side has not kept up.

  5. don lewis (was PetalumaFilms) says:

    What’s “the OB??”
    I have ZERO interest in “Julie and Julia.” It looks just boring and lame. The only thing more lame that I have less interest in is Lex G’s boner and suicide threat hotline.

  6. SJRubinstein says:

    So, I was reading this story on AICN:
    And was like, yeah, I’ll watch a few minutes of “The Secret of NIMH,” which I’ve always loved. After weathering a few of the commercials, I found myself just hitting the mute button on my laptop for the fifteen seconds or whatever, but then – as it isn’t something I’m going to sit and watch in its entirity – I turned off.
    I know it’s animation, so it’s not covered by the WGA contract, but my question is – if it was a feature film and I was one-fifth of the way through it before turning it off, does that mean the screenwriter would get a full residual payout? Or does it only happen if the entire thing is viewed? I wouldn’t imagine Hulu/MGM/whoever pays out a partial residual, but I’d think my behavior is hardly out of the ordinary. Click a link, watch a few minutes, then move away.
    So, do residuals get paid out for that first click even if that means a number of commercials would go unwatched? Or does the writer only get paid out if every commercial on the download are aired?
    I know this is way-too-inside-baseball, but when I buy a DVD or when a network airs a movie, the residuals are paid out on the DVD sale or, in the case of television, prior to Nielsen ratings come out as it’s a gamble for the advertisers about how many eyes actually see their ad.
    I’d imagine you can be more exacting with Hulu as they’ll know exactly how many ads were viewed by how many people (and, as there were a couple of non-profit spots – Smokey the Bear, Spokesperson Against Reckless Driving – all the spots must not be sold), but that also means calculating residuals, if it’s based on an actual, completed download – maybe even watching the complete credits – would be something of a joke.

  7. LYT says:

    I notice the photo I took at Comic-Con of the promo t-shirt for Zack Snyder’s next film has been making the rounds online. Yet not one site wants to give me photo credit or mention me by name.
    AICN at least only showed part if the pic and linked to DHD. But Latino Review cribbed the whole thing, didn’t even name the site, and thought offering a link was enough.
    I ain’t asking for money. Just credit.

  8. LYT says:

    I remember thinking the NIMH book was really boring after seeing the movie. Then a few years later I saw the movie again and wondered how I ever gave a pass to that awful “Flyin’ Dreams” song.

  9. LexG says:

    HEY DON LEWIS, you MAX PERLICH LOOKING SUMBITCH, what’s with all the hate, boy? Get back and the bus and show some RESPECT OR WALK ON HOME BOY [ ANSELMO VOICE FUCK YEAH…. ]
    Okay now that I have a CAPTIVE FUCKING AUDIENCE, it’s STORYTIME WITH LEXGOD. So break out the candlesticks and nightcaps and allow me to SPIN YOU A YARN:
    (Sorry, there is NOTHING funnier to me than my own mundane stories of seeing hot chicks in chain stores, and obviously Poland thinks it’s funny as fuck too because he NEVER deletes them:)
    So guess who was in BEST BUY tonight to buy CAMCORDER TAPES to film more self-worshipping genius? And long as I’m there, I picked up some DVDs despite their now-archaic status.
    So I’m trying to decide between the DOUCHEMEN DIRECTORS CUT and the THEATRICAL, both of which have shitty extras, and who’s PERUSING the NEW RELEAZES right next to me?
    Some CLASS-A EMO HOTNESS IN SKINNY JEANS AND BULLET BELT, all firm and HOT and AWESOME, about 21-25 (GOOD AGE), checking out various discs and skulking around, being all chipper with her BROWN HAIR pulled back and wearing ALL BLACK and looking COOL AS FUCK and someone who LIKES MOVIES and IS SEXY.
    I didn’t do shit, because I was wearing baggy jeans, NIKES, and an UNTUCKED SHIRT (the classic FAT GUY MOVE where I wear it baggy in a FOOLING-NOBODY BID to hide the beer gut). And I hadn’t shaved in a week. Looking like a balding fat Danny Baldwin putting in an appearance at OFF TRACK BETTING.
    Like, what am I gonna do, STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION? HAHAHAHAHAHA, NO FUCKING WAY. I am repulsive to women. So I left all angry and depressed and dejected and miserable, not like I had a chance in fuck.
    But to get back at the world I yelled FUCK YEAH at some HOT JOGGER CHICK in the bike path on Riverside on the way home whose rack was bouncing.

  10. LexG says:

    Hey McDouche, what are you doing tonight?
    Let’s go halves on splitting a whore my C-list and we’ll high five after we give her the BK BROILER.

  11. LexG says:

    Anyone ever actually done a Paluhniak (sp whatever) and gone to SEX ADDICTS or AA meetings just to pull stupid, easy chicks?
    I’m gonna go to some sex addicts group tomorrow and pick up on like 12 easy skanks.
    HOLY SHIT AM I HORNY. I’m so horny I’m going to stick my dick in a fucking lightswitch.
    I’d quit drinking TOMORROW if I could FUCK AN L.A. 10.

  12. jennab says:

    Hey, Don: I believe “the OB” is Dave’s obstetrician. If so, CONGRATS, Dave!!

  13. don lewis (was PetalumaFilms) says:

    That’s what I was thinking too, jenna…..a lil Poland coming soon???

  14. martin says:

    80s Chevy Chase is underrated. I’ll agree that the Dawson’s/Mighty Duck kid is probably better than Jason Lee for a new Fletch, but I’m curious, is Chevy so bad these days that he couldn’t pull it off? I don’t see either of these guys achieving the greatness of Chevy’s airplane mechanic scene

  15. LexG says:

    “It’s ALL ball bearings these days!”
    Chevy = GOD.

  16. martin says:

    “John Cocktoastoien.”
    “That’s very good, I’ll have a bloody mary, and a steak sandwich… and a steak sandwich.”

  17. LexG says:

    “I mean the *very* end, when he actually died.”
    “Dr. Rosen-Rosen.”
    “Do you have the Beatles’ White Album?”

  18. christian says:


  19. LexG says:

    ^ Awesome. ^ It was on one of the pay services a lot last year, and I never saw it all the way through. Vintage Guttenberg!!!

  20. David Poland says:

    Thank you, jennab and Don. Yes… in December.

  21. martin says:

    I saw Ghostbusters 2 mentioned on another thread. I don’t agree at all that it as the same as GB1. There was something going on there from 82-85ish where former SNLers really got it right. Funniest stuff of their careers from Murray, Aykroyd, and Chase in those years. Or maybe it was all the coke. But whatever the combo was, they did great stuff that are IMO some of the best comedies ever IMO. And then the 90s happened and they couldn’t put out funny stuff if their paycheck depended on it (with a small exception here and there). I’d put John Candy and Eddie Murphy in similar deal where they made their funniest stuff in the mid to later 80s. Did all the good comedy writers just drop out of the biz or the maybe all the success and money killed the comedy.

  22. Lota says:

    congrats to Dave and the Mrs!

  23. leahnz says:

    wow, i second that, i had no idea! congrats DP and the lovely missus, may a child bring even more love and happiness into your world
    (just get LOTS of sleep now if you can ’cause you’ll not get a proper night’s sleep again for like 18 years until they move out)

  24. jeffmcm says:

    Congrats as well, whoever she is.

  25. Wrecktum says:

    Don’t praise Chase too much, martin. His early to mid ’80s output is wildly uneven. For every Fletch or Vacation there’s a Modern Problems or Under the Rainbow.

  26. don lewis (was PetalumaFilms) says:

    Wow man, that’s great! We have an almost 2 year old and boy, perspectives shift just a weeeee bit upon arrival.

  27. christian says:

    MODERN PROBLEMS has one of Chevey’s most iconic moment: “I LIIIIIIIIIKE IT!!! A strange film.

  28. martin says:

    Wreck, that’s kind of what I was getting at above. It’s an odd film that has it’s moments, but not particularly good. Vacation, Fletch, and Spies like Us are the ones that stand out to me as the real winners, with a couple outside that mid 80s group such as Foul Play, Caddyshack, and Christmas Vacation. Once Nothing But Trouble came out, it was all over.

  29. christian says:

    FOUL PLAY was his first starring role in 1978, CADDYSHACK 1980, so he had a long run there…

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon