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David Poland

By David Poland

BYOB – Labor Day Weekend Friday (formerly Memorial Day Weekend Friday)

TIFF is eating my days… 16 DP/30s scheduled so far…good thing nothing much is happening in town…

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94 Responses to “BYOB – Labor Day Weekend Friday (formerly Memorial Day Weekend Friday)”

  1. mutinyco says:

    I’m friends with the president
    I’m friends with the pope
    We’re all making a fortune
    Selling daddy’s dope

  2. White Label says:

    TIFF also appears to be eating your brain. It’s Labor Day weekend.

  3. David Poland says:

    Yes it is. Along with this heat

  4. LexG says:

    Hey, you guys know a lot about comic books.
    If I created a “cartoon strip” thingy that was animated like my YT videos and it really took off, would I become a millionaire?
    I have a great idea but basically I’m too busy to draw and trace it and take meetings and shit; Basically I just want to invent the characters so I’d always own the rights to that, do a few YT toons of it, then someone like Marvel could buy all the characters from me and get someone else to draw and write and trace it and just send me the check. Would I become a millionaire?
    Like if I just said (and this is not the idea), I have a character named Lexman, would someone just buy it from me for a couple thou, but then for all eternity I’d get all the royalty checks from issues sold and merch and movies?
    Same question goes for screenwriting. Like, this shit is hard, and boring, and I can’t figure out how to register Final Draft, it’s too confusing.
    So if I just told McDouche (or someone here), “hey, write a script about a plumber who stabs coeds,” and he did and it become the next SAW, is it possible to become a millionaire just for having story/characters created by credit?
    Basically I want to become a millionaire without doing anything. At all.

  5. LYT says:

    Everyone who makes a Youtube video is hoping for the same thing.

  6. LexG says:

    How do you do that Funny or Die shit?
    I should be on there. (I’m sure most people would choose Die.) But anyway, my animations should be sweeping the globe. Obviously inside jokes about Hot Blog commenters are gonna top out at about 120 views, but if I had THE BEST SUPERHERO IDEA EVER, which I do, I want to know how to make sure it gets seen, and that I get the proper credit for it.
    Ironic that for someone who hates cartoons and has never read a comic book except Creepshow and Watchmen, I am going to become a MILLIONAIRE from my animations.
    If nothing else, I can’t believe none of Poland’s MEGAPRODUCER readers have hired me yet to do voiceover work.
    Also, tonight I might be seeing a PRO, if you know what I mean. It’s going to FUCKING RULE. BOO-YEAH, WRAP IT AND TAP IT.

  7. LexG says:

    When I’m a MILLIONAIRE, I’m going to have a lot of sex. With hot chicks who are only between 18 and 24.
    If she’s old enough to ‘Tox, she’s old enough to toss.

  8. David Poland says:

    Feels like we have hit The Lex Line… all off board…

  9. Joe Leydon says:

    David, at the risk of sounding dense: Precisely what do you mean by that?

  10. martin says:

    I’d like to add the word “wheelhouse” to the banned hipsterisms list. I heard that damn atrocity 3 or 4 times already today, probably 20 times in the last week, and let’s get real, it wasn’t all that good in the first place. I don’t even know what the fuck a wheelhouse is, and even if I went and googled it right now, I still wouldn’t want to hear it ever again. Get a new word people.

  11. LexG says:

    Joe, it means he’s going to cockblock another of my brilliant attempts at getting people to stroke my massive ego by responding to my awesome dumb bullshit.
    But it’s okay because I am in a delightful mood tonight.

  12. Joe Leydon says:

    LexG: David and I don’t always see eye to eye — to put it mildly — but he, like me, sees potential in you. On the other hand: I am sure his patience is not inexhaustible. To put it another way: You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow…

  13. Blackcloud says:

    Watched “Slumdog” again. Still no way on Earth it’s better than “The Dark Knight.” No way on Pluto, either.
    Lex, when are you going to write another great column like that one about cities disappearing from movies? That was really good (as so many of us said). Where’s the follow-up?

  14. anghus says:

    oh man, i just saw an ad for Extract. One of their blurbs is:
    “Aint it Cool News calls it ‘My favorite comedy of the year'”.
    So Aint it Cool News is a person?

  15. Joe Leydon says:

    Sorry, but as much as I enjoyed The Dark Knight, it’s a comic book movie. A very good comic book movie, but in no way as affecting a fable as Slumdog Millionaire. I know I will get some flames for this — but I strongly suspect history wil be on my side.

  16. Joe Leydon says:

    Er, WILL be on my side.

  17. Blackcloud says:

    Joe, they are both movies based on hoary formulae. TDK uses its formula better than Slumdog, which, when stripped of its pseudo-exoticism, is a conventional, even pedestrian, romance. You’re right that Slumdog is a fable, but the fabulous has been done better. Slumdog is well made, but there’s nothing affecting about it. I can’t help suspecting that it’ll go down as a movie that says a lot more about its audience than it does about anything else.

  18. Joe Leydon says:

    Well, obviously, I think you are wrong. For example: TDK will not age well because it is, at heart, a comic book movie. But, hey, let’s agree to disagree, and get back together in 20 years and see which film still has any resonance.

  19. martin says:

    I agree with Joe on this. Although tbh I don’t think either will be particularly resonant in 20 years.

  20. Joe Leydon says:

    Martin: All I can say is: Judging from what I’ve been told at panel discussions for Slumdog — including one I attended as a panelist just a few weeks ago — there are a lot of wanna-be Indian-American filmmakers who will be using Slumdog as an influence for many years to come.

  21. Triple Option says:

    Hey, I just flipped on Houdini, the Tony Curtis flick from back in the day, on TCM. I know I had seen at least part of it before and I swore it was in b&w. Has it been altered or do I have a poor memory? Then again, I kinda remember watching part of it as a kid on Christmas eve it could’ve been on one of my parents old, old small b&w tv that they never got rid of. That’d kill everything. Seriously though, was this one re-touched?
    Also, Ray Liota looks a lot like Mr Curtis.

  22. Joe Leydon says:

    TO: I don’t mean this to sound like a dweeb, but: Over the years, I have caught several films on TV that I saw many years earlier (on TV), and have been surprised to find they were in color, not B&W. But when I think about it, I recall that, well, I had a B&W TV while growing up…

  23. yancyskancy says:

    TO: Houdini has always been in color. But like Joe, there are a lot of movies I saw as a kid that I was quite surprised to learn were in color. Even though we had color TV, I used to stay up late watching stuff on a tiny B&W portable when everyone else was in bed.

  24. LYT says:

    “TDK will not age well because it is, at heart, a comic book movie.”
    Superman: the (Christopher Reeve) Movie – still Awesome. Superman II – at least 50% awesome.
    Flash Gordon (1980) – one of the greatest flicks EVER MADE. One of the only ones I watch every year.
    1966 Batman Movie – as fun as it ever was.
    Lone Wolf and Cub, aka SHOGUN ASSASSIN – still considered a kung-fu classic. ROAD TO PERDITION was essentially a remake of it.
    1989 Batman – I called its problems back in the day (Batman killing people without remorse, etc.). Some are finally catching up.
    Aside from films that were recognized as cheap knock-off crap more or less in their day…which other comic book movies have aged so poorly that they’re not worth a damn today?

  25. Triple Option says:

    I’d suggest Dark Knight will hold up better but not by the standards and means currently in place. Actually, “hold up” is the wrong term since that relates to film quality and relevance. Dark Knight will be featured more prominently due to economic reasons. The lack of independent late cycle sales will cause Slumdog to fall out of people’s minds. Plus, it too has sort of its own era anchor in that it’s based off the pet rock game show Millionaire.
    I’d really like to put my money down on Batman Begins but bo grosses and larger scope will brainwash people into pavlovian recital of TDK, TDK, for transcending period films. You’re not going to turn on ABC and see an 8 year old film in primetime under normal circumstances.
    What will be the model? Nowadays, top ten (25, 50, 100, etc) are based off of publicists finagling. We were goofing off at work one day trying to guess some Ent Weekly top films under various categories and Kevin Costner and his films were all left off.
    Maybe things might be different in film schools but for say ad-supported cable channels, the ones most likely to show those films 20 years from now, don’t devote much if any of their mktg budgets to advertise their acquired programming, only hope to retain eyeballs by the familiarity of the film. I’m afraid choices on exhibition will not include factors of which one feels less cinematically dated.

  26. jeffmcm says:

    “there are a lot of wanna-be Indian-American filmmakers”
    Do you mean Indian-Americans who want to be filmmakers, or wanna-be filmmakers who want to make Indian-style films?
    Either way, I disagree with you Joe. The best thing I can say about Slumdog Millionaire is that it’s a better movie than Crash.

  27. LYT says:

    “We were goofing off at work one day trying to guess some Ent Weekly top films under various categories and Kevin Costner and his films were all left off.”
    That is as it should be.

  28. Joe Leydon says:

    LYT: Flash Gordon? You have got to be kidding me, right?

  29. leahnz says:

    just to say, kevin KILLS in ‘the upside of anger’ (and allen is epic)

  30. Kevin Costner is underrated as hell (as long as he’s not attempting to do an accent). “Open Range” gets better and richer every time I watch it.

  31. Dr Wally says:

    “Aside from films that were recognized as cheap knock-off crap more or less in their day…which other comic book movies have aged so poorly that they’re not worth a damn today?”
    It’s a redundant question as the comic-book genre has only really come into prominence this decade, aside from the early Reeve Superman flicks and Burton’s Batmans. I recently got the X-Men trilogy Blu-Ray set and was surprised at how creaky the first film looked less than nine years on, though Singer accomplished miracles given that Fox gave him no time and no money. X2, on the other hand, is just awesome, and, frankly, is holding up better than Return of the King of that same year. I think that TDK WILL hold up a generation from now, because Nolan was savvy enough to make it look like a Michael Mann-style urban crime thriller first and foremost. The comic book elements just happen to be there without being dwelt upon, but the design, cinematography, and overall look of the flick are not so exaggerated as to brand it as a ‘comic book’ movie.

  32. The Big Perm says:

    Flash Gordon is great. I just showed about 8 people that movie who didn’t know much about it, and they all loved it. It’s hilarious (and intentionally too!).

  33. Agreed about X-Men. For all the hub-bub at the time about its seriousness, it actually becomes almost campy for its last two-thirds or so. The uncommonly grim opening acts help cover that up, but it’s an awfully jokey movie for much of its running time (warts aside, X-Men: The Last Stand is actually a darker movie).
    Superman II (both versions) have aged terribly for me. It’s far more pedestrian than the mythic original, and it’s also way too campy when it should be scary or intense (ie – Zod and his gang).
    As for X2, the third act drags just a touch (too much of one character or another walking through another flooding corridor), but the first 50 minutes are downright perfect.

  34. Hallick says:

    “(warts aside, X-Men: The Last Stand is actually a darker movie)”
    It’s more tragic you could say, but I think the second movie is the dark one of the bunch. A lot more creepy and disturbing than all of those deaths in The Last Stand. Not to mention the fact that the “warts” there do more than major harm to the gravitas of the rest.

  35. Hallick says:

    For all the talk of how the Oscars bring people together to talk about movies, I see a lot more of this “The Dark Knight should’ve beat Slumdog’s ass! / Slumdog Millionaire’s a real movie and TDK’s just a comic book movie!” crap. Or it’s Crash versus Brokeback Mountain, or Little Miss Sunshine versus Children of Men, etcetera and so forth.
    And the conversation always goes from “such and such movie should’ve been nominated” to “that movie that got nominated instead sucks” to “that movie that got nominated instead is the WORST nomination of the last 30 years!” to “I can’t believe the movie I’d rimjob for free in its grave got shut out by the biggest piece of crap ever filmed!”.
    The beauty of every one of these degenerative arguements is the fact that some movie that, god forgive, only ever got nominated takes ALL the heat while the Academy Awards themselves somehow get off the hook for it. It is so much like a girl talking shit 24/7 about her ex’s new girlfriend even though he was a total douche-nozzle that cheated on her throughout their entire relationship.

  36. Hallick says:

    And oh – I love “The Dark Knight” AND “Slumdog Millionaire”, but it’s damn near 2010 and I don’t give a rat’s scabby ass who won an Oscar for anything from 2008.

  37. Slight clarification. I meant merely that X-Men 3 was a darker, sadder movie than X-Men 1. The war-on-terror analogy stuff in X2 (with government ops kidnapping children and Wolverine slaughtering said American soldiers) is easily the darkest material in the trilogy.

  38. Joe Leydon says:

    I had a great class this morning: Showed Bonnie and Clyde for students — many of whom told me they were seeing it for the first time — who seemed to really “get” it. (I know that sounds vague, but trust me: I’ve been doing this long enough to tell when students are into the movie I’m showing — for openers, they laugh when they’re supposed to — and when they’re just waiting for class to end.) And let me tell you: It really holds up.

  39. IOIOIOI says:

    Joe: you are old. Accept it, embrace it, and realize you no longer get it.

  40. Joe Leydon says:

    Never said I wasn’t old, IO. And I still get some.

  41. LYT says:

    I would never kid about Flash Gordon. Loved it as a child when it played like a straight sci-fi movie, and have increasingly appreciated as I grew up and realized all the adult humor in there as well (oh for the days when that could be done without merely referencing a bunch of other movies).
    Also mostly great effects and production design, and the soundtrack by Queen is unimpeachable. Ornella Muti smoking hot, Max Von Sydow awesomely imperious, Brian Blessed hilarious, great early role for Timothy Dalton…and maybe the completely overdubbed male model Sam Jones is a little wooden, but so what? He’s kinda supposed to be.
    Same writer as the ’66 Batman movie too, if I’m not mistaken.

  42. Joe Leydon says:

    Maybe I need to give it another look-see, LYT. I recall being impressed by a few aspects — the Queen theme, Dalton and Von Sydow — but disappointed overall by its self-consciously campy approach. Maybe I was expecting something more serious and/or substantial from the director of Get Carter and Pulp, two of my faves from the ’70s. BTW: You’re right, the scripter was Lorenzo Semple Jr. I prefer his script for Pretty Poison.

  43. martin says:

    I wonder how Lex’s date with the hooker went last night. Haven’t seen him post today, I suppose that could be a good sign or a bad sign.

  44. LYT says:

    Not to harp on age, Joe, but it could be that you had to grow up with it. The cinephiles I know who enjoyed it as kids are those who appreciate it most now.
    Spiritually, though, it’s very akin to both the Semple-penned Batman and his King Kong, which similarly play differently to kids than adults.
    Still – you haven’t really mentioned which comic book movies have dated so horribly as you expect the Dark Knight to.

  45. Joe Leydon says:

    You could be right about the age thing. As I have posted elseehere: I never did “get” the appeal of Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles, movies I saw for the first time when I was in my 30s. As for comic book movies that haven’t aged well: To be honest, I find both Burton’s Batman and Donner’s Superman to be lumbering and ungainly. I’ve tried to watch both again in recent years, and found myself hitting the fast-forwad button quite frequently on both occasions. But, again, I already was in my mid-20s when I saw Superman for the first time, and in my 30s when I saw Batman. I actually had more fun with The Phantom. And I still think Spider-Man is the niftiest comic book ever made.

  46. Spider-Man will age just fine purely for Willem Dafoe’s brilliant turn and the action scenes, which have more practical stunt work than the CGI-drenched sequels.
    And yes, I have a soft spot for The Phantom (I love Treat Williams as the villain). And, while I hated it when I was fourteen, I imagine I’d rather enjoy The Shadow if I ever got around to watching it again.

  47. LYT says:

    So Joe, to clarify — do I take it that you liked both Batman and Superman the first time, and only find them lumbering now?
    I liked Superman then and still do now, but ALWAYS had issues with Burton’s Batman. It seems that only in recent years have more people come to agree with me on that.
    I recall both The Shadow and The Phantom being quite fun, and felt that both were almost like consolation prizes for their stars…Baldwin had said he wanted to play Batman, and Zane as Superman doesn’t seem like a stretch either.

  48. Joe Leydon says:

    LYT: I was fairly impressed with Superman when I first saw it — I really did believe a man could fly — but, for me, it hasn’t held up well. As for Batman — I always have felt it was more style than content.

  49. dietcock says:

    LYT: Agree with you about Hodges’ “Flash Gordon.” The sets and costumes by Fellini’s designer Danilo Donati really take it into a whole other realm.

  50. LYT says:

    dietcock, I don’t want you to unnecessarily give your age away, but did you grow up with it, as I did?

  51. Joe Straat says:

    Wow, so much I want to talk about.
    Honestly, I think Spider-Man will be the comic book movie that will age worse. Yes, it has a good story and characters that pull it through, but honestly, even when I saw it for the first time, the special effects looked like crap. Spider-Man looks like rubber formed into the shape of a man given shiny eyes and thrown around. I revisited it recently and it looks even WORSE to the point where I wasn’t enjoying the action at all. Then there’s things like the horrible ploy to sell Macy Gray albums (Nothing against her, but she had no place in the movie. She’s even wearing the name of the fucking album she’s promoting around her neck!), which completely took me out of the movie. I’ll have to see Spider-Man 2 to see how it’s held up, but when they perfected the special effects for Spider-Man 3, the series did a 180 because the characters and story went due south.
    I like Slumdog Millionaire, but I did not jump on its bandwagon. Like others have said, the love interest is simply an object of desire other than a person. When this is all over, will they have anything to talk about? Do they have anything in common besides at one point in their lives, rummaging through filth to survive? Maybe this is all preference, but I like couples that actually feel like couples who grow to love each other and build off each other than DESTINY! And before you ask, Romeo and Juliet is one of my least liked Shakespeare. I’m more of a Macbeth person. Plus, the Rahman music was too forceful instead of letting the scenes speak for themselves (I’ve been irritated by the recent Best Score winners. The score for Atonement where the guy puts typewriter noises in the music to emphasize the main character’s a WRITER is obnoxious beyond belief). Plus the whole setup where the questions asked happen to go in chronological order with how the main character experienced them is rather convenient and makes the movie feel mechanical rather than a force of humanity like it should. Good movie, okay. BEST movie? No. And the “It’s a fable” excuse sounds just like a….. well, excuse.
    I’m not going to say The Dark Knight is flawless. It takes the scenic route a few too many times with the plot to the point of where Batman goes to the Asia for a part of the story that means very little. It’s obvious this was originally meant to be two different movies forced into 1. And yeah, the Joker seems to have far too many outs than any human could’ve ever designed (And no way he knew what was waiting for him at the end of the epic chase to plan ahead that well). But, its difficulty rating is a 9.5, and dammit, it nails it 90% of the time. What I think will give TDK a leg up is the effects and the set pieces are not held together by flash. Oh yeah, there are quite a few effects, but everything’s meant to exist in the real world, and not some stylized version of this or that city that never really ages well. Even as styles change, it will still like an amazingly sharp, great looking film, and the urge to over-stylize is part of the reason why most comic movies don’t age well. The Dark Knight shouldn’t have that problem, and it’s got more than enough substance to last.
    Onto other things, Flash Gordon’s Queen score is awesome, but other than that, I’m not too high on the movie. It has its campy joys, but it’s in the middle of my list of Dino De Launrentiis cheesefests, Barbarella being at the top and Diabolik being at the bottom (The Beastie Boys’ “Body Movin'” music video playing off of Diabolik was more fun than the entire movie). The Shadow was “meh” when I was 12, and it’s “meh” now. Other than that, I don’t have too many thoughts on it, except I wonder where one can get a matching carpet and flowing robe set. I’ve never seen The Phantom. I’ve always wanted to, but I think it’s #114 on my Netflix Queue right now, and I have no urge to bump it up.

  52. LexG says:

    GREATEST LINE EVER. SII: Gratest comic book movie EVER when I was eight, greatest comic book movie EVER to THIS DAY.
    Name ANYTHING *more awesome* in any Spider-Man movie than GENERAL ZOD. Okay, name anything more awesome than GENERAL ZOD in an X-MEN movie? YOU CAN’T.
    The only thing that approaches is THE JOKER, either Ledger or Nicholson, but still: GENERAL ZOD. So awesome that no amount of bullshit Lester/Donner debating that you fools KNOW GODDAMN GOOD AND WELL you didn’t know about in 1981, no amount of Margot Kidder soft focus, can take away from “WRONG AGAIN ZOD” and “WHY DO YOU SAY THIS TO ME WHEN YOU KNOW I WILL KILL YOU FOR IT?” or “CARE TO STEP OUTSIDE?” or “LUTHOR, YOU POISONOUS SNAKE!!!!”
    Also: I am horny.

  53. LYT says:

    Why do you say this? When you know I WILL KILL YOU FOR IT???

  54. LexG says:

    But Lou do you know what I mean?
    For like THIRTY YEARS everyone in the world thought Superman II was the FUCKING SHIT, then out of nowhere every hen-dick in the world is an AUTHORITY on “OH THAT PART’S DONNER, THAT PART’S LESTER!!!!”
    Trust me, NO ONE our age (ie, 28-38 knew about ANY of that shit back in the day, we just knew that SUPERMAN II was AS GOOD OF A MOVIE AS STAR WARS and every bit if not MORE classic.)
    And any kind in the schoolyard worth his salt and watching SII 17 times a month on HBO in between airings of TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT and KING OF THE MOUNTAIN in 1982 would’ve told you that II wiped the fucking floor with the 8-hour soft-focus “first one.”

  55. LexG says:

    ALSO (for the fans/sorry Poland):
    I got a LAP DANCE earlier tonight to DARLING NIKKI and I STILL SMELL LIKE VAG and it was the greatest thing in my life (since I went to the same strip club Thursday) and this RUSSIAN CHICK OWNED and I was like HEY OLGA IF I THROW DOWN 700 WHAT ELSE CAN I GET but she didn’t go for it but whatever, I had a GIANT BONER and everything smells like ‘fume and it RULES that you can PAY CHICKS to do shit if you’ve got the green.
    How come no one else admits THEIR LEVEL OF HORNINESS IN LIFE? Be a man and admit you’re depressed about not having sex 78666666 times a day. Fuck I’m horny EVERY SECOND.

  56. LYT says:

    Agreed. But the giant cellophane s-symbol at the end, alas, is really f’in dumb.

  57. LYT says:

    “How come no one else admits THEIR LEVEL OF HORNINESS IN LIFE?”
    Because doing so makes it ACTIVELY less likely that anything good will happen on that front.

  58. LexG says:

    In FIGHT CLUB when Tyler Durden Pitt keeps taunting LOU the bar owner and he does that LAUGH? He’s all HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOU! HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAH. You know what I mean?
    Pitt’s finest moment EVER and I do that LAUGH all the fucking time when I go out especially when some stripper or hooker chick’s hitting me up for more money. Try DOING THAT LAUGH while you MAKE IT RAIN and throw money at them, it’s SUAVE AND CHARMING AS HELL.
    Ok I’ll shut up before I get SHUT DOWN. Just passing along some tips for other guys who like women, which apparently isn’t very many around here.

  59. LexG says:

    LYT: My hope is my MAKING IT PUBLIC will make me enough of a freakshow to get actual offers, a la when HIGH PITCH or whoever on Stern would ultimately get to tax a pornstar.
    Anyway, through my persistence (not here, but in my pros-filled private life) I’m meeting a lot of “web models” so a LEXG PORNO might be a very real happening soon.
    You KNOW you will watch.

  60. christian says:

    What was I saying? Oh yeah.
    SUPERMAN II and SPIDER-MAN 2 are the best superhero movies ever made. SP II was the first to give us a sense of super-villain spectacle and Chris Reeve can’t be given enough credit for his superb dual work. And Margot Kidder is great. Best Audience Ever. Kami woulda died from shame as hundreds of kids stomped and hooted like I’ve never seen since.

  61. LexG says:

    Other than KIRSTEN DUNST PURE HOTNESS, there is nothing worth watching in that PINK-TONED DOUCHEFEST, let alone anything that’s fit to wax SII’s sack.
    How come KIRSTEN DUNST hasn’t been in much lately? SHE IS YOUR GOD, you need to BOW TO HER as your SUPREME COMMANDER.
    Looks like another night of knowing admitting their inclinations.
    I AM THE LAST HONEST MAN and I CANNOT WAIT to prove all you WRONG. Can’t imagine the jaws dropping when I’m banging 700 women on YOUR television every single night for the next 70 years. Because it is important that EVERYONE sees and KNOWS I’m showing them up in life.
    Dennis Miller once said Madonna became Madonna because no one wanted it THAT BAD. Well guess what, NO ONE has ever wanted to be AS FAMOUS, as MONSTROUS, as OBNOXIOUS, as HORNY, as I am going to be when I get money. So START BOWING NOW.

  62. LexG says:

    HEY LADIES I GOT A WHOLE KITCHEN FULL OF SARAN WRAP if you’re HOT, 18-plus and want to RECEIVE for like EIGHT DAYS or as long as you want.
    But you HAVE TO BE HOT. HOLY SHIT if I don’t GET SOME SEX soon I am going to drop dead from Load Poisoning, I’m so backed up.
    BOOYEAH Let’s see if THAT shit gets me LETED.

  63. don lewis (was PetalumaFilms) says:

    Finally caught “District 9” today and man, whatta film!! Absolutely should get a best pic nom and I’d even say, best director. But that Sharlto Copley dude…man. Should WIN best actor. Get to work you Guru’s o’ gold and float some names out there who deserve it. Being right in the end will feel less great than picking great films and performances.
    Alas, who am I kidding? We’re all just waiting for the good movies to come out. Wheeeeeeeee.

  64. jeffmcm says:

    I went and saw The Entity tonight at the New Beverly – anyone? I think it’s interesting when movies about mental illness are themselves deranged, as if form is meeting function a little too much.

  65. martin says:

    If you’re going to do a Fan Fucks type video you need to be careful who these craigslist people are that you’re contacting. Chances are that you’re talking to a pimp and not the ho, and there’s no way in hell in you should be giving a ho a rimjob or eating her pussy. If you’re an ok looking guy you shouldn’t be paying for it anyway, don’t you have like a shit job that doesn’t pay that much in the first place? And is high pitch erik really a standard you want to live up to? I think you’re going about this all the wrong way, but that’s just my opinion. Maybe you should get into writing adult films and maybe directing, you always have the casting couch as well in those situations. You could make dirty adult film comedies with pornstars playing your squakc faves like megan fox etc.

  66. jeffmcm says:

    According to past statements (who knows if they were lies or the truth), Lex’s income at his job is about 20K over the California median income level.

  67. LexG says:

    Yes I make bank but I’m prohibitively ugly to the point where women actively look away in disgust in the booze aisle of Ralph’s every single night.
    Women HATE me. It’s inexplicable.
    I am (seriously) thinking of making a documentary about just WHAT is so off-putting about me, where I’ll take to streets like my GOD James Toback, who somehow pulls mad tail. I’ll interview chicks about just WHY they’re so repulsed, when I’ve done nothing to them and am generally an aw-shucks, self-deprecating nice guy offline.
    Women are BEYOND TERRIFYING. I can’t wait till I have real money so they’ll like me for a change.

  68. christian says:

    “Women HATE me. It’s inexplicable.”
    To who?

  69. martin says:

    Seriously though, banging every chick you can is a bad idea. Think about the AIDS tests out there, and the fact that with the current antiviral drugs, a working girl could essentially evade a blood-test for the disease, despite being HIV positive. Then there’s all the other crap you don’t want, herpes, genital warts, syphilis, gonorrhea, etc. What I’m telling you is that if you can get it, a regular chick in a real relationship is what you should go for, and to be honest I think your problems are more mental than physical. “Women are beyond terrifying”. That’s your problem, not theirs.

  70. Joe Leydon says:

    LexG, trust me: If I can get laid, any man can get laid.

  71. LYT says:

    But Joe, you don’t live in LA. I firmly believe that it’s seriously harder here than most places.
    Any other town, you meet an attractive woman and there’s a pretty decent chance that she doesn’t have any inkling about using her looks to get ahead in the entertainment industry by dating successful people.
    Here, I’d peg it at around 90%.

  72. LexG says:

    “…a regular chick in a real relationship is what you should go for…”
    HAHA! Variety is the spice of life. Plus it’s not like I’m the fucking 40 YO Virgin over here; I’ve had plenty of completely “real” relationships (just not recently) and it’s not the same as New Vag, and I assume it’s not the same as getting a new chick at the drop of the hat based on your fame and wealth. “Real Relationships” imply meeting the chick’s horrible Yenta friends and protective brothers and going to the fucking Pottery Barn and BUYING PRESENTS like a DOUCHE. No thanks, never again.
    Plus CHICKS WHO AREN’T FAMOUS or SUPER SLUTTY are NOT SEXY. And I REFUSE to “date” any woman over 30.
    Plus if every rockstar and recognizable actor in the WORLD is hooking up with different women EVERY SINGLE DAY (see, Vinnie Chase) and not catching anything, I’m not worried. Plus, I think at this point it’s a statistical impossibility NOT to get herpes in L.A.

  73. martin says:

    Vinnie Chase is not a real person. And if your choices are live in LA, bang whores, and get herpes, or leave LA, not get herpes, and have a real relationship, I don’t see how that’s a tough decision. Then again, not all decisions should be based on Vag, but yours seem to be.

  74. LexG says:

    And, martin, Poland HAAAATES when I co-opt the place to talk about this stuff, so you or anyone else (ESPECIALLY ANYONE WHO’S GOT THE HOOKUP WITH A HOT CHICK ROOMMATE, SISTER or FRIEND who needs a man for 11 seconds):
    GOOD EMAIL. And as Poland, McDouche, Lou, dietcock, Don Lewis, and Frankbooth can all attest, when you get on the LEX EMAIL LIST, you can expect a LOT of irrational and hostile self-loathing, squirm-inducing overshare emails and juvenile taunts at all hours of the day!

  75. martin says:

    Not a problem, I’ll keep it out of here. I didn’t know Poland had a problem with this stuff as long as it was kept somewhat clean.

  76. LexG says:

    Hey you can post away for all I care, I’m always GAME to talk about my theories on women; The hammer’s only gonna come down on me, not you, and it’s more interesting than reading about movies.
    When I got un-super-banned I said I’d behave but my INCREDIBLE LEVELS OF HORNINESS are such that they shade every thing I talk about.
    Maybe it’s time for the PolandMan to just DROP THE BAN HAMMER, but if he does so, I hope he has a thread about it at least, like “LEXG: BANNED FOREVER,” because then we’ll have 200 comments from people TALKING ABOUT ME, which is really all I want in life (to be famous and well known, only ideally it would be HOT CHICKS offering to have sex, and not Jeff McDouche or Frankdouche making fun of my appearance.)
    I tried starting my OWN blog, but it was pathetic. Not because I couldn’t think of stuff to write, but I always felt like I could drop some gem HERE or on HE and get like two dozen shocked, appalled and amused responses. But fucking BLOGSPOT is so user-unfriendly NO ONE wanted to clock in to read or comment on that shit, starting with YOURS TRULY. What a pain in the ass site, I barely ever updated it and the layout was clunky so I deleted most of it. It was a terrible, terrible blog.
    Maybe if someone could explain how to start a PROPER film blog like this one or Wells’, with this cool-ass commenter-friendly layout, I’d give it a real shot.
    But I don’t really want to be a BLOGGER, or even a WRITER, or even, really, a CRITIC. I want to be a MULTIMEDIA PERSONALITY SUPERSTAR like Paris Hilton.
    Oh, well, off to the CUTTER CHATROOM to talk to depressed emo chicks!

  77. Blackcloud says:

    Spider-Man II = hopelessly overrated. That is all.

  78. christian says:

    Find me better choreographed pure superhero comic book panels come to life than SPIDER-MAN 2. It’s textbook on how to film comic action scenes, along with Molina’s pitch perfect Dok Ock and a glorious ending.

  79. Triple Option says:

    What I found truly remarkable about Spidey 2 was that it had about the best visualized portrayal of self doubt that I can think of in yes, all of cinema. The internal conflict was built so successfully off the first install while still able stand alone. It also served so well in driving the undercarriage of the film. That being a solid love story. A very classically drawn one at that, with the very elements that caused their attraction would either spell their demise or keep them apart, while change to keep Spidey and MJ together would mean losing himself, the things she found so attractive, and destroying himself internally. The action was more than just big over blown spectacles that were dropped in for the genre’s namesake.
    It’d be hard for me to choose best comic book film out of Spidey 2, X2 and Batman Begins. Each had a lot of good things going for it. I did feel Spidey 2 deserved a best pic nom and feel no reason to back off my position.

  80. Crow T Robot says:

    Spider-Man 2 might be my favorite screenplay of the decade. It’s filled with more warmth and humanity than a lot of Pixar movies. It gets every little thing right. The bad guys are given as much sympathy as the good guys. And Raimi directs it all loosey-goosey, like a Howard Hawks comedy.
    My favorite scene is when the movie kinda stops in its tracks and the lanky Russian girl gives Peter Parker some cake and milk just because the poor shmo looks like he could use it. It’s such a courageous moment.

  81. LexG says:

    That “lanky Russian girl” RULES.
    I wish she’d give me some cake. I’d give her EXTRA FROSTING if you know what I mean.

  82. Random music moment: Robbie Williams’ new song, “Bodies”, is officially very excellent.

  83. LexG says:

    Robbie Williams RULES.
    I will check it out, KC.

  84. IOIOIOI says:

    Spidey II can still hang with Iron Man and TDK. Which is saying something (figuratively) these days.

  85. LexG says:

    HAPPY LABOR DAY. Anyone else want some VAG?
    All I know is every post on here that ISN’T about HOLY SHIT AM I HORNY is a LIE, that your existence is a LIE if you are not thirsting for the impossible dream (regular vag), and I don’t care who I piss off saying it./
    I’m like TYLER DURDEN SPEAKING THE TRUTH, and you all live with fingers in your ears hiding from what you don’t want to hear.
    I want to be KING OF THIS PLANET, then I’d roll into my usual strip clubs and there would be BOWING and me taking 287,988 chicks home EVERY NIGHT like SCAGNETTI IN NATURAL BORN KILLERS, all crazy haired and screaming like a maniac because THAT IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.
    I don’t BELIEVE FOR A SECOND that you people aren’t JUST AS HORNY AND FRUSTRATED AS ME, that you don’t find your workaday existence JUST AS MEANINGLESS, as long as there are MEN out there like DEREK JETER who can tax CELEBRITY WOMEN and RULE THE WORLD.
    Do you RULE THE WORLD? No? Then how can you NOT admit that YOU are an INFERIOR lifeform?
    The world’s most PRECIOUS COMMODITY is SEX and even though everyone likes to TALK A GOOD GAME, I think you’d be surprised (or not) for how many people it’s a rare, every-few-years if not every-few-decades kind of happenstance, and usually with people that wouldn’t be one’s first choice.
    If you don’t do it, you are contributing to the status quo.

  86. LexG says:

    HEY: When it’s SELF PITYING DOUCHEBAG O’CLOCK at 3:42 on beer #17, does anything rule harder than TRAIN, DROPS OF JUPITER?
    FUCK IT NEEDS TO BE 1999 AGAIN so I can have the last decade of my life back to do it ALL differently.

  87. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    “do it ALL differently.”
    Actually kill yourself?

  88. LexG says:

    OOPS just went back ONE WHOLE DECADE further:
    WHAT IT TAKES by AEROSMITH from *1989*, *the* awesome breakup song from my 1990 SENIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL. BOO-YEAH, TWENTY YEARS GONE IN A FLASH, all of us on our way to being OLD MEN who never did what we wanted to do.
    If my 1990 self could see me now… well, he wouldn’t have wasted his time going to fucking COLLEGE, the biggest waste of time, energy and money known to man.

  89. LexG says:

    No Boam’s Douche, I’d have QUIT MY WORKADAY JOB and GOTTEN A DIVORCE and GOTTEN A HAIR TRANSPLANT or started on PROPECIA and started EXERCISING before it was TOO LATE and I WAS TOO OLD, now I’m nearly 40 and FAT with NO SHOWBIZ CONTACTS and my dick has shrunk down to the size of a fucking McNugget from being such a repressed, shameful, suicide LOSER who everyone HATES and who gets NO RESPECT and who CAN’T COMMIT TO ANYTHING CREATIVE because I have to go to an office and transcribe frame rates and patch a bay LIKE A BITCH —

  90. LexG says:

    Hey, JBD get me a fucking SAG CARD or stop riding my bozack, you old Ned Beatty-looking fucker.

  91. LexG says:

    Like if Poland or one of the MEGAPRODUCER REGULARS to the Hot Blog really DID land me a sit-down with Bay or Bruckheimer, and they wanted to make a LEXG movie with my character and wanted me to PERSONALLY supervise the auditions of K-STEW, Scarlett and Megan?
    Know what I’d do? I’d chug a GALLON of vodka the night before. Roll in late. Tell them the idea sucks and I’m a loser and they don’t wanna waste their money on my dumb shit. Then I’d ignore the hot chicks.
    boo yeah, here comes the BAN. BRING IT! Just remember to acknowledge it in ONE LAST THREAD, Creed Style.

  92. yancyskancy says:

    I’m a Lex fan, but even I have to draw the line…
    at DROPS OF JUPITER. Yuck.

  93. jeffmcm says:

    I vote for Spider-Man 2 over either of the Nolan Batman movies or either of the Singer X-Men movies. I would say that it’s a richer tapestry in terms of visuals, characters, and emotional palette.

  94. christian says:

    SP 2 would rule just for the inspired “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head” montage. I’m always curious as to why people feel this perpetually sad character equates with fantasy escapism. Parker’s scenes with Aunt May are kind of heartbreaking. And Parker earns his triumph at the end. Raimi perfectly nails the comic’s melancholy optimism.

Leonard Klady's Friday Estimates
Friday Screens % Chg Cume
Title Gross Thtr % Chgn Cume
Venom 33 4250 NEW 33
A Star is Born 15.7 3686 NEW 15.7
Smallfoot 3.5 4131 -46% 31.3
Night School 3.5 3019 -63% 37.9
The House Wirh a Clock in its Walls 1.8 3463 -43% 49.5
A Simple Favor 1 2408 -50% 46.6
The Nun 0.75 2264 -52% 111.5
Hell Fest 0.6 2297 -70% 7.4
Crazy Rich Asians 0.6 1466 -51% 167.6
The Predator 0.25 1643 -77% 49.3
Also Debuting
The Hate U Give 0.17 36
Shine 85,600 609
Exes Baggage 75,900 62
NOTA 71,300 138
96 61,600 62
Andhadhun 55,000 54
Afsar 45,400 33
Project Gutenberg 36,000 17
Love Yatri 22,300 41
Hello, Mrs. Money 22,200 37
Studio 54 5,300 1
Loving Pablo 4,200 15
3-Day Estimates Weekend % Chg Cume
No Good Dead 24.4 (11,230) NEW 24.4
Dolphin Tale 2 16.6 (4,540) NEW 16.6
Guardians of the Galaxy 7.9 (2,550) -23% 305.8
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 4.8 (1,630) -26% 181.1
The Drop 4.4 (5,480) NEW 4.4
Let's Be Cops 4.3 (1,570) -22% 73
If I Stay 4.0 (1,320) -28% 44.9
The November Man 2.8 (1,030) -36% 22.5
The Giver 2.5 (1,120) -26% 41.2
The Hundred-Foot Journey 2.5 (1,270) -21% 49.4