MCN Blogs
David Poland

By David Poland

LexG Appears On SNL

Megan Fox continued to keep many of us wondering what her next act is, even if the show didn’t do much to surprise… the writing was as lame as it’s been in a long while…
But she did take shots that will be internet classics for a long time to come… (no, not a pun, Lex)…

Be Sociable, Share!

14 Responses to “LexG Appears On SNL”

  1. The Big Perm says:

    He should have stuck his right hand down his pants right then and there.

  2. scooterzz says:

    might jenny slate have the shortest snl career ever?

  3. IOIOIOI says:

    They replaced two funny ladies for a woman who curses on the first night. Good call, Loren. Good call.

  4. LexG says:

    Writing was indeed lame, but MEGAN FOX will go down with Aguilera, Johansson, Lohan, and, yes, Paris Hilton, as SMOKING HOT CHICKS who were totally game, committed, and funny in their hosting capacity. Hell, she was in nearly every skit and had great timing and chops in every single one.
    I asked this elsewhere, but how do Hader and Wiig manage to make SO many movies when they’re on a show as intensive as SNL? Even the “off season” excuse can’t really explain it, since Wiig is LITERALLY in a new movie EVERY WEEKEND, AND appears to be on that new Jason Schwartzman thing on HBO.

  5. storymark says:

    On a guess, they don’t spend a lot of time getting drunk and writing long rambling “poor-me” posts online, and instead, actually get shit done.

  6. Triple Option says:

    I happened to see Jennifer’s Body Sat afternoon not realizing she was going to be on SNL that night. I watched most of it, somehow missed the 2nd digital short, but thought the show overall was a bit unimaginative. I guess I was hoping to see how good or bad she truly is. Seemed almost like she was laying up. Though expecting a definitive answer wouldn’t be reasonable.
    I do remember seeing the key art photo of her in the black boots thinking that’d make a great poster. Not just for the hawtness alone, either. Like the shot of her looking under the hood in Trans I, something to really help define her. I had this convo w/my friend after Jen’s bod as to what would you do next if you

  7. LexG says:

    SAY IT.

  8. jeffmcm says:

    This only plays into Lexian fantasies, but I’d say she needs to play a hooker with a heart of gold, STAT.

  9. martin says:

    Megan Fox in Pretty Woman remake.

  10. Cadavra says:

    You think you’re kidding.

  11. LexG says:

    MAKE IT HAPPEN. I’M THE MOST BRILLIANT PERSON IN THE WORLD EVER, and I’M TIRED OF having to be depressed and miserable and suicidal and drunk and self-loathing AT ALL TIMES simply because I’m not in SAG.
    I WANT TO BE IN SAG. IT IS MY #1 DREAM IN LIFE. I can’t AUDITION for a single fucking thing, I can’t pursue agents or managers, without BEING IN SAG.
    GET ME IN SAG. MAKE IT FUCKING HAPPEN. You would be DOING A GREAT CAUSE and eliminating one man’s FULL ON DEPRESSION through the simple act of GIVING ME THIS MOTHERFUCKING CARD and/or helping me get an AGENT.
    It is OBVIOUS I am the most TALENTED MAN IN LOS ANGELES, but it’s beyond fucked up that I have to GO TO A JOB during the day; Fuck classes, fuck spending money; All the GREATS just luck out and get in MOVIES. I could take ACTING CLASSES for 28 years and never land a single audition, they’re a fucking RIPOFF for hicks right off the banana boat.
    Help the GOD of all, ie me, skip ALL that stupid bullshit and just GIVE ME A FUCKING SAG CARD and GET ME AN AGENT, and better yet, CAST ME IN A MOVIE IN THE LEAD ROLE.
    You think STEVEN SEAGAL toiled in EXTRA WORK and Valley COLD READ classes? FUCK NO, he just said PUT ME IN A MOVIE, and on his FIRST MOVIE he was THE LEAD.
    Similarly, I AM NOT FUCKING AROUND or wasting my time or anyone else’s. You know I’m GOD. Give me THE LEAD in a fucking movie.

  12. jeffmcm says:

    Uh, Steven Seagal was Michael Ovitz’s karate teacher.
    “Similarly, I AM NOT FUCKING AROUND or wasting my time or anyone else’s.”
    You lie!

  13. LexG says:

    I would SERIOUSLY be THE NEXT JACK BLACK or THE NEXT DANNY MCBRIDE right out the FUCKING GATE if someone would give me the opportunity, or at least invite me to AUDITION for something.
    But how do you AUDITION for STUDIO FILMS if you don’t have an agent? And how do you get an AGENT without credits?
    IT IS A CATCH-22 THAT IS 10000000% IMPOSSIBLE to overcome.

The Hot Blog

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon