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BYOB: 235 Years Of Relative independence
BYOB Weekend: Hop, An April Fool’s Gag?
It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?
So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.
And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.
There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.
I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.
So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.
But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”
My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher
“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.
~ David Simon
The suggestions list most of you submitted in the last blog was very helpful. I also realised that i started something of a fight re these classic movies. But how do you guys feel about some of the much maligned blockbusters and do any come up to scratch? Sure, they’re no comparisons to the classics, but do any any of them please some of you purists in any way?
Seeing that we are coming up to the end of a decade, I would like to know what were some of the blockbusters that you guys enjoyed. Make a list if you must. To narrow it down, give me your Top 10 films grossing over 100M released from 2000-present. I’ll submit my own very soon.
I realise that this eliminates a lot of good flicks like No Country for Old Men, and one of my guilty pleasures, The Rundown, but this about blockbusters only, and not necessarily successful ones. So a flick like Terminator Salvation will qualify, if by some wide stretch of the imagination, you liked it a whole lot even though it was deemed a box office failure. Have at it, and be nice. And the admission price for the Joe Leydon / NicolD cage match has been raised to $20.00.
If Nicol D keeps dissing Harold and Maude, it’ll be more like one of those WWE matches where one guy gets pounded with steel chairs by everyone else on Vince McMahon’s payroll. LOL.
By decade, here are the $100-million grossers I’d give four stars:
2000 (5)
Cast Away
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Erin Brockovich
Gladiator
Traffic
2001 (4)
A Beautiful Mind
Black Hawk Down
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Vanilla Sky
2002 (3)
Chicago
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Minority Report
2003 (1)
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Master & Commander was thisssss close)
2004 (3)
The Bourne Supremacy
Fahrenheit 9/11
The Incredibles
2005 (3)
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Batman Begins
Walk the Line
2006 (1)
Borat
2007 (2)
The Bourne Ultimatum
Superbad
2008 (4)
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Tropic Thunder
WALL-E
2009 (3)
District 9
Inglourious Basterds
Up
This would be my top ten for over-$100m for the 2000s (alphabetically):
The Bourne Supremacy
Cast Away
Catch Me If You Can
The Dark Knight
The Departed
The Incredibles
Inglourious Basterds
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Ratatouille
Spider-Man 2
And also, for the 1990s (obviously a smaller pool):
The Matrix
Pulp Fiction
Saving Private Ryan
Seven
Sleepy Hollow
Terminator 2
Titanic
Toy Story
Toy Story 2
Unforgiven
Breaking my own rules about the top 10 flicks, cause its too frickin
Good question, and I’m a list whore. So 10 best $100 million grossers of the ’00s, alphabetically:
The Aviator
Black Hawk Down
Casino Royale
Cast Away
Catch Me If You Can
Collateral
The Departed
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
The Incredibles
Signs
Vanilla Sky
Yeah, it’s 11. Sue me. And 10 from the ’90s, why not:
Dances With Wolves
The Hunt For Red October
Jerry Maguire
Jurassic Park
Saving Private Ryan
Schindler’s List
Seven
Shakespeare in Love
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Unforgiven
Understandably it’s Peter Jackson, but I’m pretty skeptic of The Lovely Bones breaking $100M. It could be cool and imaginative and well-acted. But it’s a cool imaginative movie about a murdered child, and there are some who just aren’t going to be in the mood for that.
Pretty late to this discussion, but I rented Watchmen and watched it…and I feel like a changed man. A depressed changed man. It’s one of the ugliest movies I’ve ever seen. I sat on my couch during the end credits feeling really dirty. Such a train wreck of a movie, I can’t believe how much discussion it took up during the first third of this year.
I understand what you mean Hopscotch re: Lovely Bones. It could be the next What Dreams May Come or the next Signs. Time will tell.
Great 90’s list Josh. A real Steven Spielberg decade that was.
And obeying my own rules, here’s my top10.
2000
Xmen
2001
Lord of the Rings FotR
2002
Lord of the Rings TTT
2003
Lord of the Rings RotK
2004
The Incredibles
2005
40 Year Old Virgin
2006
Departed
2007
Superbad
2008
The Dark Knight
2009
District 9
Minority Report is #11.
My 90’s list. And to Josh, Schindler’s List made $96M. I remember thinking back when it came out that they would do a re-release in order for it to cross the threshold.
1991
Terminator 2
Silence of the Lambs
1992
A Few Good Men
1993
Jurassic Park
1994
Speed
1995
Se7en
1997
As Good As It Gets
1998
Saving Private Ryan
Armageddon
1999
The Matrix
Missed my top 10
1990
Home Alone
Dances With Wolves
1992
Unforgiven
1993
The Fugitive
The Firm
1994
Forest Gump
Pulp Fiction
The Lion King
True Lies
1996
Jerry Maguire
Ransom
1999
The Sixth Sense
Whoops, just realized Schindler’s List didn’t quite hit $100 million.
I’m a list junky too, so here’s my 11 from the 2000’s, alphabetically:
The Bourne Supremacy
Casino Royale
The Incredibles
Knocked Up
Minority Report
Ocean’s Eleven
Ratatouille
Signs
Spider-Man 2
Tropic Thunder
The Village
And yes, I will defend The Village against all naysayers.
And from the 90’s:
Apollo 13
The Fugitive
The Hunt for Red October
The Matrix
Men in Black
Pulp Fiction
Ransom
Saving Private Ryan
Se7en
The Silence of the Lambs
Sixth Sense
Wow Bulldog, you beat me by a minute. Eh, it gives me room to add Silence of the Lambs, which I overlooked.
Nothing in 2000 really hits it out of the park for me, and the ones that came closest (X-Men, Erin Brockovich, Traffic) don’t hold up as well in 2009. So here’s the rest of mine, year by year:
2001 – Black Hawk Down
2002 – Lilo and Stitch
2003 – Elf
2004 – Dodgeball
2005 – Batman Begins
2006 – The Departed
2007 – Juno
2008 – The Dark Knight
2009 – District 9
The Village is a very good movie…for me to poop on.
Dodgeball Hallick? Dodgeball? Over Prisoner of Azkaban or Spiderman 2 or The Incredibles or The Bourne Supremacy Dodgeball?
And I can’t ever defend The Village, I hated it. But I’ve taken my share of licks for Unbreakable and even Lady in the Water.
“Dodgeball Hallick? Dodgeball? Over Prisoner of Azkaban or Spiderman 2 or The Incredibles or The Bourne Supremacy Dodgeball?”
Yes – Dodgeball. I still haven’t seen Spiderman 2; Prisoner of Azkaban, like most every Harry Potter film, isn’t best of the year material and also suffers from the watering-down effect of so many Potter movies going through the same damn motions again and again; The Incredibles is really good, but I never had a yearning to see it again; The Bourne Supremacy is by far my favorite Bourne movie and a strong runner-up for this year.
But yeah, Dodgeball. Probably not the best of that year, but it stays my favorite. It’s a great dumb comedy and I’ve enjoyed it over and over again since it came out. I love Vince Vaughn’s laid back to the point of zen character in the movie, it has one of my favorite gang of losers in recent memory, Rip Torn’s awesome, Alan Tudyk is in it, Stephen Root is in it, and who doesn’t love Justin Long taking that first wrench in the face? If I ran across it on TV right now, I’d definitely stop and watch it yet again. It’s got the right vibe, it’s got the right actors, and I’m fond as all hell of it.
Vanilla Sky? Seriously. Are you out of your stonkin’ mind.
Juno is overrated trash that won’t hold up well. It’s really just some interesting characters with little narrative to hold it together.
I think in 10 years there’s going to be a lot of head scratching over the mad love for Juno and Slumdog Millionaire.
For this year, the only films that grossed over 100 million that i would ever want to watch again are Inglorious Basterds and Star Trek.
“I think in 10 years there’s going to be a lot of head scratching over the mad love for Juno and Slumdog Millionaire.”
In Juno’s case, I don’t think so. The movie’s got a lot more going for it than the love it/hate it dialogue. J.K. Simmons alone (not to give Allison Janney short shrift) takes three or four scenes to greatness just by the presence of his character in the room.
I’m thinking in 10 years people will be thinking of Juno less as a Diablo Cody film and more as a Jason Reitman film, considering the vast apparent differences between Jennifer’s Body and Up in the Air.
Hallick, you need to make a space in that list for Spider-Man 2.
Alright, chipping in on some of my faves. My top ten is a bit of a cheat, since I’m going to consider LOTR one giant film spread over three years.
LOTR
Master & Commander
Collateral
The Incredibles
The Aviator
Batman Begins
Wedding Crashers
WALL-E
District 9
Cast Away
Jeff: I poop on many films that you like. So stop pooping on The Village. Shame on you. Shame.
IOI, you can poop on whatever you want (…) but at least have a reason that you can articulate.
For the 2000’s and in no particular order:
The Dark Knight
Casino Royale
Master and Commander
Chicago
The Polar Express
Iron Man
The Passion of the Christ
The Incredibles
Spiderman 2
Million Dollar Baby
And Joe…ok…we can have a smack down but only if you wear tight leather speedos and a sheen of glistening body oil.
Well IOI, I can’t find anything good to say about The Village. Nothing. To me it has no redeeming qualities. Its like a comedy with no jokes, a drama with no conflict. Its a twist movie with no twist. It was an absolute letdown.
I can defend Unbreakable. At least to me it succeeded in introducing us to a new comic character and was good storytelling. Lady in the Water had its problems, but at least it was interesting. The Village was boring, boring, boring. Worst M.Night movie ever. (I haven’t seen The Happening.)
See, Nicol, all those Lefties who make movies that indicate Righties are closet cases… The Conformist and Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion and so on.. you’ve just given them more ammo. LOL. But seriously: trust me, You don’t want to see me in a Speedo. Hell, I don’t want to see me in a Speedo.
Joe…
Oh, there’s no closet, baby!
All right, now I’m going to watch some Tinto Brass before heading to bed.
Night all.
Nicol: Oh, dear. What will Jeff make of this?
“The Village” is terrible because I guessed the twist the first time a character spoke. And because the plot is bollocks. On the other hand, “Signs” would quite likely be on my top 10 for the decade, although I must admit right now I am having a tough time remembering all the movies I’ve seen in the last 10 years. Which makes it hard to fill out such a list. Argh!
isn’t this top-10 list meant to be ‘fave blockbusters of the naughts having earned over 100mil’? or did that go by the wayside sometime back
(i actually think the concept/story for ‘the village’ is intriguing and could have made for a fascinating, even eerie, movie with a good twist — it’s the lackluster/turgid/lifeless tone and execution that kills it, being virtually devoid of tension, pace, compelling drama/scares/romance or characters with even a modicum of ‘oomph’ to really root for. ‘lady in the water’ is only marginally less dire than ‘the happening’ imho, and doesn’t even have the bonus of being an unintentional comedy going for it)
Interesting idea to do a list of the hits, here’s mine:
Erin Brockovich
Traffic
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
The Incredibles
Casino Royale
The Departed
Batman Begins
The Dark Knight
Slumdog Millionaire
District 9
Inglorious Bastards
I know it’s 11, but honestly, I saw District and Inglorious in succession and it’s hard to take one of them out. All of the Bourne films are close calls and just probably miss the list.
Now, how about a list of the Top Ten $200 Million Grossers of the Decade? Here’s mine:
The Incredibles
Batman Begins
LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring
LOTR: Return of the King
The Dark Knight
The Matrix Reloaded
Spiderman 2
Iron Man
Wall E
The Bourne Ultimatum
Believe it or not, there were quite a few this decade. Star Wars – Episode III narrowly misses the list and sorry none of the Harry Potters or Pirates films really dazzled me enough.
Now, how about a list of the Top Ten $200 Million Grossers of the Decade? Here’s mine:
The Incredibles
Batman Begins
LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring
LOTR: Return of the King
The Dark Knight
The Matrix Reloaded
Spiderman 2
Iron Man
Wall E
The Bourne Ultimatum
Believe it or not, there were quite a few this decade. Star Wars – Episode III narrowly misses the list and sorry none of the Harry Potters or Pirates films really dazzled me enough.
Bulldog, I agree with you that The Village is Shyamalan’s nadir, but you should give The Happening a chance. It’s hilarious! Completely unintionally, but for me, it was the sign that Shyamalan had gone from bad to so-bad-it’s-good.
Okay, top 10 over $200m:
Cast Away
The Dark Knight
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
The Incredibles
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Ratatouille
Spider-Man
Spider-Man 2
Up
War of the Worlds
Of course, few of these are as good as Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark, or Ghostbusters.
I find it hard to believe that the humor in The Happening was all unintentional. Especially Wahlberg talking to the plastic plant. Total comedic timing there.
Wahlberg is THE CLOSEST THING TO A GOD THAT HAS EVER WALKED THE FUCKING EARTH EXCEPT ONE THOMAS CRUISE MAPOTHER IV, so there is NO DOUBT, “The Happening” is a perfectly good movie that every lame-ass SQUARE seems to think is funny, when it’s a perfectly valid example of tongue-in-cheek auterism.
See also, the heinously unfunny cult of ironic “Wicker Man” fans. Like a GENIUS like NEIL LABUTE didn’t know EXACTLY what he was doing with that WORK OF GENIUS that depicts women EXACTLY as they are.
You want some MASTERPIECES that made a ZILLION DOLLARS? GRAB A PEN AND PAPER, bulldog:
TRANSFORMERS
TRANSFORMERS 2
TWILIGHT
BAD BOYS II
PEARL HARBOR
TRAINING DAY
BLACK HAWK DOWN
GLADIATOR
THE DEPARTED
S.W.A.T.
MINORITY REPORT
WAR OF THE WORLDS
You’re welcome.
Oh, and I forgot HANNIBAL and COLLATERAL.
YEP YEP.
HANNIBAL is so fucking awesome even McDouche knows what I’m saying.
Can I just opine here briefly on Noah Forrest’s annual state of the horror film?
“One of the things that depressed me about the Saw or Hostel films was that there was no fun to be had in watching them. The intent of a horror film should be to scare you and entertain you; with those films, there is a lack of characterization beyond stereotypes and plots that are easy to predict, making it hard to be entertained.”
-Jeez, don’t tell Tobin Bell that. And don’t tell me you predicted the endings of Saw 1 and 2 either, because I call BS on that.
“
HOLY FUCKING FUCK. “Other disagreements,” Lou?
Every word of Noah’s column is an OFFENSE AGAINST HUMANITY. And I know he’s a nice guy and I like him a lot generally, but SERIOUSLY, people; Noah On Horror is pretty much what you’d get with Lex On Animation…
HE. JUST. DOESN’T. GET. IT.
Anyone else out there have trouble with Yahoo! Mail while using the Chrome browser?
Oh, and as for the vampires in daytime thing — it’s been my understanding that Nosferatu, not Bram Stoker, introduced the notion that vampires would be destroyed by sunlight.
I’m a little puzzled by these lists, particularly the emphasis on $100-million (or $200-million) grossers–as though box-office grosses have anything to do with quality.
Why not just a list of favorite films period?
“I’m a little puzzled by these lists, particularly the emphasis on $100-million (or $200-million) grossers–as though box-office grosses have anything to do with quality.”
But that’s the point. People are making lists of their favorite movies that were also hits. In doing so they are implicitly acknowledging that the big grossers are regularly mediocre.
And I’m happy to see The Hunt for Red October get some love– absolutely one of my favorite movies of all time.
Because it’s something different.
Top 10 Movies That Grossed Exactly $47 million at the Box Office:
1) Planes, Trains and Automobiles
2) First Blood
3) Munich
4) The Kingdom
5) The Natural
6) New Jack City
7) An American Tail
8) Alien Resurrection
9) Hard to Kill
10) The Toy
See, randomness is fun!
“And I’m happy to see The Hunt for Red October get some love– absolutely one of my favorite movies of all time.”
—
Ah, the glory days of John McTiernan. DIE HARD, followed by PREDATOR, followed by RED OCTOBER. As good as you can get back-to-back-to-back in the action/adventure genre. (Off the top of my head, only Cameron challenges him with TERMINATOR-ALIENS-ABYSS.)
Luke, to respond to your points: first of all, just because Tobin Bell has played the same character in six movies doesn’t mean we’ve learned anything particularly insightful about him. He’s a man who has a vendetta against his doctor – and then the world – because he has cancer. That’s not a particularly original thought and every about him as a person is built out of the anger he feels about something out of everyone’s control, which is a pretty silly thing for a supposed “genius.” And just because I didn’t predict the ending of the first film doesn’t make the fact that every person from Saw 2 onward doesn’t survive the traps. That means that each situation is devoid of suspense because I know they will die. Shawnee Smith is the lone exception and it happens in the first movie and nobody else survives (at least as far as I can remember).
The oversight of Dracula is an admitted mistake on my part. Nosferatu indeed is the first film to have sunlight kill vampires – helpfully emailed to me by Steven Katz, writer of Shadow of the Vampire. But, I do think that movies have helped to create the myth of vampires as much as anything else and one of those rules that is important to me is that vampires and sunlight don’t get along.
If you have differences of opinion in the rest of the column, I’d be happy to hear them and discuss!
No spoilers, but some people do survive the traps in the later Saw sequels.
Our thoughts will inevitably turn to best-of-decade polls as we steam towards Christmas, but what becomes more and more apparent to me with the passage of time is this : that 2005 was the annus mirabilis. And it becomes even more odd that no-one seemed to realise it at the time. Deep breath – The New World, Goodnight and Good Luck, Jarhead, Munich, Walk The Line, Syriana, War of the Worlds, The 40-Year Old Virgin, Sin City, The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, Millions, Kingdom of Heaven (but only, repeat ONLY, the Director’s Cut), Batman Begins, Jarhead, Revenge of the Sith, Brokeback, Crash, The Constant Gardener, The World’s Fastest Indian, Capote, Hustle and Flow, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, A History of Violence, Junebug, King Kong, Corpse Bride, The Family Stone, Wedding Crashers.
I make that around 30 movies that are keepers for me personally, and i imagine that even if you don’t like all of those flicks, you’ll like most of them, and probably more that i haven’t even mentioned. And almost all of them coming out of the mainstream, rather than completely out of left field. Has there ever been such a rush of sustained quality product coming through in recent history? I would say no.
Does 1999 count as recent history? How about The Sixth Sense, Toy Story 2, The Matrix, Blair Witch Project, Green Mile, American Beauty, American Pie, Sleepy Hollow, Payback, Talented Mr. Ripley, Any Given Sunday, Galaxy Quest, Bowfinger, Three Kings, Eyes Wide Shut, South Park: BL, & U, American Movie, Arlington Road, Being John Malkovich, Boys Don’t Cry, Bringing Out the Dead, Election, ExistenZ, Fight Club, Go, Magnolia, Man on the Moon, Mumford, Office Space, The Insider, Iron Giant, The Limey, The Straight Story….
…not to mention Virus, Wing Commander, and Wild, Wild West. Oh yeah, and some sort of first episode to a sexology.
Who DIDN’T predict the ending to Saw is what I’d like to know. That body is laying there, I knew in ten minutes what was going to happen. And then when you find out that one guy was being forced to capture the family made the movie even more stupid (like him doing creepy things like putting the stethoscope to the wife’s heart).
Tobin Bell being a great actor doesn’t make the character worth two craps.
I’m also glad horror is finally getting to be fun again. All of these movies just get to be the same, dark torture screaming whatever. I’m all for Zombielands and Drag Me to Hell. These 2000s horror dirges will never compete with the greatest horror period ever…the 80s, where horror was a good time.
But Noah is soooo misreading Last House of the Left it isn’t funny. The movie itself is commenting on the killers, it’s not siding with them.
Don’t forget 1999’s finest film: CRADLE WILL ROCK.
I’m not going to draw a full list only point out that
– X2
– Clear & Present Danger
need to be included in some list, somewhere, post haste!
YEP YEP, D-PO GOEZ TO LONDON LIKE JEKYLL AND HYDE TOGETHER AGAIN, and this place shuts down.
Holy fuck, I haven’t been this bored since the last time I read a Christian political post. LISTS? LISTS?
LISTS ARE BORING, NOBODY READS THEM, GUARANTEED. Fucking half a day goes by and no one posts?
Instead of LISTING, why don’t you muhfuckers talk about something COOL, LIKE PUSSY?
PUSSY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND YEP YEP.
WHY AREN’T YOU MAD YOU’RE NOT SACK DEEP IN THE GIZZASH RIGHT NOW?
And if you are in some assbank, chances are the squack isn’t FAMOUS, so it’s MEANINGLESS.
Trying to get you eunechs to talk up mad hot vag is like trying to get the fucking glee club to care about football. IT’S POINTLESS.
How about everyone make a list of the TOP TEN CHICKS ON THIS PLANET YOU’D LIKE TO BANG.
Now THAT’S some shit I’ll read.
Pass out then, gawd. Be like every other drunk twat and black out in a pool of your own vomit, please.
I’ve never understood the term “gash,” as it conflates pussy with a wound. Who would want to put their dick in a bloody wound?
Don’t ask. Please.
Hey, LexG: God just called. He said He just made your dreams come true.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20091014/en_nm/us_fox_1
for any and all ‘red october’ fans, an ode to poledouris’ stirring score (incl. ‘the hymn to red october’) and one of the most well-written, well-played and well-shot-and-directed (by de bont and mctiernan respectively) action flicks of all time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPo_1SXrvGc&feature=related
(begs the question, how would alec baldwin’s career have differed had he opted to continue with his rather terrific take on the role of jack ryan in the subsequent films?)
Leahnz: I saw Baldwin do Stanley Kowalski on Broadway in A Streetcar Named Desire — supposedly, the job he chose over doing the follow-up Jack Ryan movie. I have never asked the guy about this — but I seriously doubt he feels he made the wrong move.
yes, perhaps he saw being typecast as an ‘action hero’ on the horizon and that disagreed with his sensibilities (i’ve always wondered which he shot first, ‘red october’ or ‘miami blues’. for some reason i can never find ‘shoot dates’ easily/lazily online)
i have a somewhat amusing alec baldwin story from the set of ‘the edge’ hopefully ok to sneak in, related to me by someone who was there so i trust that it’s true:
during the shoot there was a rather heated labour dispute going on in canada at the time in which loggers in need of the employment were battling with environmentalists trying to save a native forest from clear-felling.
so one night during a meal, baldwin – apparently a liberal and staunch environmentalist – and elle mcpherson, who sided with the loggers, got into it and a rip-roaring screaming match ensued, complete with a bit of a physical altercation that had to broken up (needless to say, this made for icy relations on set)
i must confess i’ve always fantasised in my head baldwin just letting loose with his infamous hot head and popping mcpherson one right in the kisser — i know that sounds absolutely terrible and i bear mcpherson no actual ill-will, but i’ve always found her just bland and slightly annoying and alec downright fascinating and decidedly not bland, so my sick imagination turns inappropriately thus
And what would Dr. Freud make of this?
Elle MacPherson pretty much WAS my adolescence.
Let’s just say I CAME of age thanks to her.
YEP YEP. BRINGING THE SUBTLETY.
Baldwin is GOD pretty much, but who argues with a HOT CHICK about politics? Fuck, who cares what a hot woman thinks about ANYTHING?
I’m pretty sure I’ve related this story before, but: Baldwin fully intended to do PATRIOT GAMES after STREETCAR finished its run. But then Paramount decided to move up the start of production so they could have it ready for summer. Baldwin did not want to renege on his contract with the stage play, so he asked to be released from the film. Yeah, he’s got a temper, but it’s honorable behavior like this that proves deep down he’s really a mensch.
that’s interesting, cadavra, i wonder if baldwin views jack ryan a little like ‘the one that got away’?
“And what would Dr. Freud make of this?”
joe: i’m guessing, nothing good
I made this point on Wells’ blog earlier today in response to the Chris Pine news… but Jack Ryan is kind of a DRY series, no?
Is anyone ever THAT pumped for Jack Ryan? It’s like some just-the-facts super-Republican square-jawed wet dream, but some stiff analyst who’s happily married going through the ’90s Paramount Military Conspiracy Thriller paces? Kind of a warhorse with no continuity and no sizzle.
Like, Jack Ryan would be a FUCK of a lot more awesome if he was corrupt, like he embezzled money or cheated on his wife… SOMETHING.
Don’t get me wrong, I like all the movies, love Baldwin, Ford and Affleck, and think Pine will do fine.
Just compared to a suave motherfucker like James Bond or a psycho like Jack Bauer or Jason Bourne?
Ryan’s kind of a dud.
But LexG: How do feel about the Fox-y news referenced above?
Leydon: YEP YEP. Thanks for the link, that SPREAD is going to get a 21-GUN-SALUTE when the campaign drops.
MEGAN FOX = MOST IMPORTANT PERSON EVER.
Give me ONE REASON how Megan Fox ISN’T more awesome than Obama. YOU CAN’T DO IT.
I never sense enough WORSHIP OF THE FOX on this blog.
What the fuck, did Poland personally email every other poster and tell you guys to put me on the Pay No Mind List (GREAT REFERENCE)?
ALSO: since this is the MOVIE BLOG OF INDUSTRY PROS, does anyone know where they’re having PORN AUDITIONS?
For vag porn of course. But I want to do HARDCORE PORN… Granted I’m not in shape AT ALL, but that never stopped Ron Jeremy or Barrett Blade… and I don’t MEASURE UP if you know what I mean…
But I have enough Net Infamy and buzz that I’d make for a good pity-porn star. And ALL MY EMOTIONAL, NARCISSISTIC, DRINKING, AND SEX ADDICTION PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD would be solved in ONE FELL SWOOP, because I WOULD BE ACTING, I WOULD BE FAMOUS, AND I WOULD BE BANGING.
In fact, I’d be skipping RIGHT to the part that is ALL I CARE ABOUT: LETTING EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD KNOW HOW MUCH VAG I AM GETTING.
I am actually working on making this a reality, as I have some decent contacts into this arena, but you guys could help me CUT SOME CORNERS like when the city council dude on THE WIRE helped CUTTY (GUY RULES) get his gym going.
You could RUN INTERFERENCE and just get me a porn audition. I’ll even do a group cream video or GB if it means getting into the biz. YEP YEP LEXG IN PORN, 2009.
MAKE IT HAPPEN.
Hedgehog got work because he’s been working for three decades in porn and the guy had a pretty good body when he started. He can also get hard for a co-star oozing a mix of aids juice and black bean sauce from their anus.
You on the other hand Lex, would have an inverted penis at the first sight of any live pussy. John Bobbit was a pity porn star but the guy is John Leslie compared to you. You have as much to offer porn as C Thomas Howell did for race relations in Soul Man.
There you got a response. Is the ego all fed? Are you happy now?
Boam’s Doctor, anytime you wanna put up a pic of yourself, I’ll be at rapt fucking attention, cause I *gurantee* I look like 1991 William Fucking Baldwin compared to you. Fuck, I pretty much look like William (or at least Daniel, or post-bloat Alec) Baldwin already, so I doubt I’d be THAT far off the porn norm. Shit, when I had some YT vids up, I had like a dozen motherfuckers on HE and in emails telling me I’m like the Baldwin/LaPaglia Brother that time forgot, so doubly weak when tools like you run out of material and act like I’m Canadian Bacon-era John Candy instead of some SUPER-FUCKING-HANDSOME-if-230-pounds Brolin/Baldwin/David Arquette doppelganger.
i believe lex has already celebrated his five inch dick in another post…..and, that’s just not a celebration most porn companies want to wave flags for….(i’m told)…
Scooterzz, stop dreaming about my dick. That’s JeffMcDouche’s job. ZING.
But, yeah, five is being charitable. When I’m limpin’ on the track that shit barely clears zipper. It’s UNREAL.
YEP YEP GOOD ADMISSION. Watch everyone believe it just like every other dumb thing I say that everyone apparently hates yet can recite to a fucking T.
ya still got it, sport….i laugh…
Lex you look like Daniel Baldwin after he’s eaten the other Baldwins.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Touche.
That’s Douche!
Now where’s your pic?
I’d put good money down you look like Lou Perlman. I’d practically guarantee it.
PLUS the point that is getting lost in the shuffle is that I AM PUSHING 40 AND I NEED SOME VAG.
THIS IS CRUCIAL.
There HAS to be some SCAM, or scheme, or ruse, or con, by which I can convince a HOT CHICK to HAVE SEX WITH ME. I am old and drunk and bored and LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONELY, and I just want some goddamn VAG.
THE RULES are NO WOMEN OVER 30; No women who are ANNOYING; Must be SUPERMODEL LOOKING HOT. THIS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE.
Every night I think about putting a Craigslist ad up for AMATEUR PORN which would really just be ME banging the chick, but I pussy out because I’m not THAT much of an asshole. I’m actually pretty nice when you get to know.
But LOS ANGELES makes it 1000000000000000% impossible for a middle class, regular stiff dude to meet women; Yeah, if you have the right kind of job, a Valley-dwelling working stiff can get his New-To-America ASIAN CHICK….
But what the fuck am I gonna do in a bar? I’m pushing 40, I’m balding, I’m not distinctive looking in ANY WAY; I haven’t gone to a gym in my ENTIRE LIFE. Like any chick is gonna hook up with me based on a five minute pickup in a bar.
Fuck, last week I went to SARDOS hoping to pick up PORN CHICKS, and I sat there DRINKING ALONE and looking like fucking Travis Bickle and what does a LONE GUY have to offer A GIRL IN A BAR WITH HER FRIENDS? NOTHING. NOOOOOOOOOOTHING.
Went home, drank myself into a stupor til 10am and thought about hurting myself.
I am just SO FUCKING HORNY, and there is NO EARTHLY WAY I can meet women; I’ve been doing some THEATER ACTING again lately (NO bullshit, I’m actually very good and have studied classical drama and shit)…. every hot girl in the class gravitates toward the YOUNG, GOOD LOOKING GUYS…. I always get partnered with the OLD FAT CHICKS. IT’S DEPRESSING.
I want to be GOD but I am NOBODY. I cannot go on like this, it’s SO DEPRESSING, I just want to FUCK HOT ACTRESSES and be rewarded for my INCREDIBLE ACTING CHOPS, but everything I do and everything I try is just one giant EPIC FAIL.
LEXG = FAILURE OF ALL.
LIFE SUCKS.
You can meet me in person in December. I’m taking you out for a Big Night and not in the Stanley Tucci way. No photo as there are some people on THB I won’t reveal myself too for various professional reasons. Looking like Lou Perlman is not one of them. More like Arthur Kade with a little less douche and preening.
Fuck this, I DON’T CARE IF POLAND wants to DROP THE BAN HAMMER when he gets back, WHATEVER.
I NEED SEX. I NEED SEX. I AM SO HORNY; I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO HORNY MY BALLS ARE IN AGONIZING PAIN, I think of SEX every second of my life, and it SUCKS being some workaday DOUCHE when there are people GETTING PAID TO FUCK HOT CHICKS.
I HATE BEING MEDIOCRE. I HATE BEING A NOBODY.
I WANT TO BE FAMOUS MORE THAN ANYONE EVER HAS IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.
I have wanted to be FAMOUS my ENTIRE LIFE, and am SO DESPONDENT, LONELY AND MISERABLE going through life as some SADSACK FUCKING NOBODY working some REGULAR JOB.
I WANT ENDLESS PUSSY, not just regular pussy (which I don’t get anyway), BUT A NONSTOP ONE STOP CARNIVAL OF ENDLESS VAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
I WANT TO FUCK 7676767676769399202727177717178 WOMEN PER DAY, EVERY DAY, THAT IS HOW HORNY I AM.
I WANT TO BE WORSHIPPED AS GOD COME TO EARTH, INSTEAD OF SUFFERING THE INDIGNITY OF AN ANONYMOUS, BORING, MUNDANE, DESPERATE, PATHETIC FUCKING EXISTENCE.
I WANT TO COMMAND PUSSY WITH THE SNAP OF A FUCKING FINGER.
I DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF I GET BANNED OR DELETED OR WHATEVER.
ONE MAN MADE A FUCKING STAND, it’s UNREAL that there are dudes on GOSSIP GIRL or VAMPIRE DIARIES or ROBERT PATTINSON or WHOEEEEEEEEEEEEVER, and they get paid to BE GOD, they get EVERYTHING IN LIFE YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE,
AND THE REST OF US SUFFER THE INDIGNITY OF ANONYMITY.
IT IS DEPRESSING. IT IS BULLSHIT.
A DAY WITHOUT ACTRESS/MODEL SEX AND FAME is a DAY NOT WORTH LIVING.
LexG: Most men live lives of QUIET desperation.
When did this blog devolve into Lex G’s weekly therapy session? All kidding aside, I hope you get some help Lex. The times when you drop your obsession with getting laid by models, movie stars etc (which is never going to happen for 99.9 % of us so it’s kind of pointless) you show you have a real talent for writing stuff that makes people laugh, sometime against their better judgement but still. Try using the time you’ve said you’re drinking yourself into a stupor on something more fulfilling like going out and meeting people or exercising. Even a little exercise can do wonders for your mental state of mind. If you drop the faux macho horndog persona, and stick to being just laid back, funny and knowledgeable about the entertainment industry, you might just find yourself getting laid. No, she won’t probably be a model or an actress, but if she’s everything else except that you’d be doing pretty well by most people’s standards. Also, I’d personally like to see you post another piece like the one you wrote for Poland way back. You’ve got some talent-don’t waste it drinking yourself blind drunk or trying to get into the porn industry. Bottom line, I know I’ve got no right to suggest you do anything, let alone expect you to take my advice. So if you’re response is to tell me to go fuck myself then so be it.
but according to nicolD, conservatives are now the real feminists!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/15/jon-stewart-takes-on-30-r_n_321985.html
yeah, right. be ashamed…be very ashamed
(oops, i posted the wrong link above. not the one i intended, tho the accidental link is related)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/07/meet-the-senators-who-vot_n_312976.html
At this point, why does anyone give Lex advice? I could see doing it maybe a year ago, but at this point maybe, just possibly maybe, you can assume he’s not going to take it.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I believe that this LexG persona, is just that, only an online persona.
He’s probably some almost 40 year old with a wife and 2.2 kids, steady paying job, probably accounting, and a serious passion for movies, attended film school, and this is his release. He is probably bored with his life, just not the one he describes for us.
Or..I am totally wrong..either way, who gives a shit.
Pretty stunning Leah. The GOP is determined to cling to their dying past. Good. Obama continues to outwit them at every turn.
But Huffington has rocketed over the shark with her bizarro “Biden should resign” nonsense, thrown out solely to create hits and attention. Only somebody in silk pajamas could have come up with that brilliant strategy.
i know nothing about huffington, only that those 30 republican senators are disgusting examples of humanity, for whom the almighty $ is god and justice and human rights are simply nuisances easily cast aside in its relentless pursuit