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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

BYOB Friday – Av6

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42 Responses to “BYOB Friday – Av6”

  1. IOIOIOI says:

    Thank god for Titanic. It helped studios realize that taking off January to March is stupid. Sure it can have another heavily tainted weekend but Mel Gibson is coming to curb job Jake Sully the way he needs to be JOBBED. Seriously the sooner this film dies the sooner the world can rejoice that a bunch of LAME SHIT is headed to DVD! UNOBTAINIUM! SERIOUSLY? Fuck that movie in it’s ass.

  2. Joe Leydon says:

    Actually, I think the top-grossing movie this weekend will be the one with this classic bit of dialogue: “You asking me to explain the nature of a motherfucking pestilence?”

  3. Rob says:

    Is that from Legion, Joe?
    Which reminds me…two Paul Bettany movies this weekend! And they both look kind of crappy. I’ll probably see Creation, though.

  4. IOIOIOI says:

    Or this classic line; “THIS IS OUR LAND!”
    “Hold on there homie. ‘OUR LAND’? Your ass aint from around here. You aint even really blue motherfucker. You just some pink skin in a blue body via freakin fire wire.”
    “Yeah. You aint no Na’vi. Why the fuck should we listen to you?”
    “Hold on. He’s fucking Ney’Tiri.”
    “No he’s not. Hold on, that motherfucker is fucking Ney’tiri. Why the fuck she get a comma in her name? My name is Chuck for fuck’s sake. How the hell she get a comma in her name?”
    “Shit man, we NA’VI! Apparently the white man believes it’s cool to have COMMAS in your name. So I guess we can start calling that pink skinned motherfucker H”MAN!”
    “Yeah H’MAN, you come to our land, you still the future king’s old lady, you fuck her in one of our sacred places, and now we are supposed to follow you to save ‘OUR LAND’?”
    “Uh yeah.”
    ALL NA’VI IN UNISON: “FUCK YOU.”
    “Yeah. Fuck you H’MAN! If you were legit from the go get, this shit might have never happened. Our motherfucking tree could still be around and those motherfuckers could drill by it for that motherfucking rocking that cannot serve you fucking guys any purpose.”
    “Damn right. It’s UNOBTAINIUM! Who you going to sell that shit to H’MAN? The CHINESE? THE AMERICANS? YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE ALL WORKING TOGETHER!”
    NA’VI IN UNISON: “YEAH!”
    “So what you going to do with the 20 million a kilogram bitch? What’s that going for? Your planet is dead. If you were not a bunch of dumb motherfuckers. You may have discovered a more suitable planet not located next to a fucking GAS GIANT, but instead we are it, and we’ve got to move. What bullshit. NA’VI, this is our land, we are it’s people, and that motherfucking router over there has are back. How about we curb job this motherfucker and go save the land without him?”
    NA’VI IN UNISON: “YEAH! LET’S TEACH THE US CAVALRY A LESSON!”
    [indistinguishable native American chants are heard]

  5. The Pope says:

    Jeez IOIOIOI, you got a blue bug in your ass, or something? You sound like LexG used to sound, before he found some happiness and reason.

  6. EOTW says:

    IO: And yet, scientists have been using the term since the 1950s. Go figure.

  7. The Big Perm says:

    Did anyone read what surely took IO fifteen minutes to write?

  8. Joe Leydon says:

    I did. But that’s only because I’m an IO completist.

  9. christian says:

    By his own proud admission, IO does not read. How could he know what Unobtainium is?

  10. SJRubinstein says:

    ALL NA’VI IN UNISON: “FUCK YOU.”
    I lol’ed.

  11. Dr Wally says:

    I thought that the ‘Unobtainium’ was a gag that was ‘homaged’ from Jon Amiel’s The Core. It’s only mentioned (i think) twice in the whole movie, so it hardly matters what it’s called. Better some funny little throwaway gag name than some bullshit 60’s Star Trek sci-fi technobabble substance like, i don’t know, ‘Jethrikilicate Ore Grade 7’ or ‘Dilithium 23’ or whatever.

  12. Triple Option says:

    I

  13. yancyskancy says:

    Not commas. Apostrophes.

  14. mysteryperfecta says:

    “I

  15. Steven Kar says:

    Just look up UNOBTANIUM in Wikipedia and things will become clearer to you.

  16. IOIOIOI says:

    It does not matter. Why do they need that scratch? So we can leave? Seriously, it’s goofy as hell.
    Also douche magouche, 110 words per minute.

  17. EthanG says:

    Hmm “Legion” is really worth it Joe?? I haven’t seen any of the January releases yet and am considering an Apocalypse double feature….2 out of 3 of Daybreakers, Legion or Eli.
    It seems like the release schedule has been more painful than usual this January…nothing I REALLY want to see before “Wolfman” except the Red Riding trilogy…chances of that coming here are slim though…

  18. Eric says:

    Ethan, I did an apocalypse double-feature with Daybreakers and Book of Eli.
    Daybreakers was way better than I expected.
    Book of Eli was not so much.

  19. Me says:

    It wasn’t really big budget, and it’s more a drama than a thriller, but I always liked The Rapture. It was such an interesting take on the end of days.

  20. Cadavra says:

    Unobtainium is chemically very close to atmosphereum, the valuable element in THE LOST SKELETON OF CADAVRA, but somewhat less so to jerranium-90, the valuable element in THE LOST SKELETON RETURNS AGAIN.

  21. nudel says:

    “I

  22. nudel says:

    A sign of old age: No desire to watch the Haiti telethon, because: you’ve already given, and you were there for we are the world, africa, farm aid, new york city aid, tsunami aid…

  23. IOIOIOI says:

    A sign of being a douche is more like it. We share a hemisphere with these folks and they need help. Who need apathy had a fucking expiration date.

  24. The Big Perm says:

    How much money have you sent?

  25. The Big Perm says:

    And since this is BYOB, did anyone watch that Spartacus show? I was curious enough to check it out. Wow, it was like if IO and Lex fucked and had a baby and that baby decided to make a tv show.

  26. IOIOIOI says:

    Motherfucker, you are so fucking oblivious that you missed the point. Folks need cash, he’s sick of donating, and that’s fucking weak. If you got a problem with it, go check the other thread, and make sure to wipe my shoe print off of your face.
    That aside; you fucking hated 300. If you hated 300 then you sure as fuck will not be down with it’s low budget little brother. Hopefully you love fucking Lucy Lawless enough to check it out.

  27. palmtree says:

    In her largely negative review, Stephanie Zacherek said “unobtanium” was one of the better aspects of the movie…or would you have preferred them call it “Middle Eastern Oil”?

  28. nudel says:

    No, you all missed the point.
    I never said anything about being sick of donating. I merely said I wasn’t going to WATCH the telethon. I believe I actually said I had already donated.
    I was just curious if EVERYONE in the universe was watching or if there were others who didn’t feel the need.
    Finally, it’s always fascinating how you assume all other posters are male.

  29. Chucky in Jersey says:

    I for one did not watch this latest “All-Stars for Charity” begathon. By participating, all these celebrities and has-beens support a US military occupation of Haiti under the rubric of earthquake relief.
    Too bad Kanye West was disinvited. He would have told the truth like he did after Katrina.
    FWIW the only TV channel to not air the Haiti begathon was Fox News. Say what you like about Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity — they get viewers and Fox News knows it.

  30. jeffmcm says:

    I haven’t been around for a couple weeks, but I’m breaking my silence for this important message: Chucky, you’re an idiot. Yeah, the earthquake really played into our hands so that we could FINALLY occupy Haiti and take all of their, uh, oil? Coal? Uranium? Bananas? Or perhaps it was CIA lasers that CAUSED the earthquake in the first place to facilitate this maneuver.
    Chucky, I want to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you’re mentally ill. The alternative is that you’re a profoundly cynical, mean-spirited, ignorant, stubborn, dishonest, nihilist.

  31. The Big Perm says:

    IO…motherfucker, YOU missed the point. You’re the of those guys who want to make a big show out of caring and you want to take nudel…but I say caring without action is bullshit. Much like the rest of your life. So I’ll ask again, how much money have you sent since you care so much?
    And why do you lie? You always say I hated 300, and I say I liked it, and you have no post showing me saying otherwise. You’re a liar. But that’s okay, lying is easy on the internet!
    So let me say that IO is a tranny.

  32. The Big Perm says:

    Also about Spartacus…for a tv show it looked pretty great. Everything that made it terrible was stuff they didn’t have to spend money on, like having the writers not write garbage dialogue and having some taste when it comes to directing. I assume the want to be “awesome” with the blood sprays but they come off retarded. The use of “cunt” like a 14 year old who just discovered a shocking word. It really does seem like a show made by and for 15 year old boys. You can’t take it seriously as a drama but it’s too much of a regular storytelling drama to take as a batshit insane movie like 300.
    300 had all of that stuff, but unlike the makers of Spartacus, Snyder is talented and pulled it together. And even his stylized action seemed less stylized and ridiculous than Spartacus.

  33. Joe Leydon says:

    “Too bad Kanye West was disinvited. He would have told the truth like he did after Katrina.”
    You mean when he said George W. Bush didn’t care about black people? That sounded about right to me. But if they did disinvite him, it probably had more to do with Taylor Swift being on the show.

  34. Chucky in Jersey says:

    @JoeL: Kanye West would have dissed the US government for sending Today’s Army into Haiti. He dissed the US government for neglecting New Orleans amid Katrina — and he was proven correct.
    @jeffmcm: The US military has a documented history of occupying Haiti — in fact, plans were in place for such a contingency the day before the earthquake.
    Further to @jeffmcm: Name-calling is one thing. Slander, libel and defamation are another. This will be my final warning.

  35. The Big Perm says:

    Uh oh, Chucky has given a final warning. Watch out, after that he cries softly to himself.

  36. jeffmcm says:

    Chucky, you are a crazy person. DO SOMETHING.

  37. jeffmcm says:

    Oh, and I love the cognitive dissonance – too slowly sending the US govt. to help New Orleans = bad. Fairly quickly sending the US govt to help Haiti = bad. Chucky, there’s no winning with you! (Because you’re a lunatic. SUE ME.)

  38. Joe Leydon says:

    “He dissed the US government for neglecting New Orleans amid Katrina — and he was proven correct.”
    Chucky, I’m from New Orleans, remember? So, yeah, he was right.
    BTW: Go Saints!

  39. The Big Perm says:

    So Chucky, instead of us giving Haiti a hand by sending in help, would it be better to just leave them as is? I’m sure you have some excellent answers.
    Also, you ust name checked Kanye West so any point you make is invalid and you are dumb.

  40. Lota says:

    and Chucky just may be made of HANDWAVIUM.
    curse this bad New York hotel internet line…Sloooow

  41. Ya know, if Chucky didn’t have access to the internet I’d swear he was one of those homeless people that yell at people for spare change in between bouts of talking about how the war fucked them up.

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon