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David Poland

By David Poland


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21 Responses to “BYOB”

  1. CleanSteve says:

    So far I have laughed heartily at the ’85 Bears commercial (in the Chicago area so they love it out here), the Letterman spot, and the Favre commercial. All very funny.
    ROBIN HOOD looks great.
    Oh…the game. I am wearing my Zach Thomas jersey in honor of the game being in Miami. One day we will be there again. Soon. Chad Henne = Money.
    Sloppy game so far but I expect that after the teams settle in we will see big offense in the second half.

  2. a_loco says:

    Seeing as I don’t give two shits about any sports, not even football, I decided to see two movies at theatres instead, and I’ll probably turn this into an annual thing. This year, it was From Paris and Love and The Last Station.
    I didn’t think that they matched, the screening times just worked out that way.
    (Ironically, I found From Paris With Love to be the better movie.)

  3. a_loco says:


  4. Hallick says:

    First half is over, and most of the ads aren’t even trying. You can see stuff this mundane during any given episode of “Gary, Unmarried”. The Coca-Cola ad with The Simpsons didn’t build to anything but me remembering how well the “Grand Theft Auto” ad worked a few years back.
    The one with Jim Nance and the boyfriend who got his spine removed did make me chuckle in the middle.

  5. EthanG says:

    Not sure if its been posted here but heres the ad for the Super Bowl if directed by Wes Anderson, Tarantino, Godard, Herzog etc via AwardsDaily:

  6. christian says:

    DR. NO on Blu-ray. Real men watch Bond on Sunday.

  7. a_loco says:

    I think they should get Matt Dillon to play MAtt Dillon in the Gunsmoke remake:

  8. gah! when does the baseball season start. That’s much more interesting.

  9. LYT says:

    Yes, Joe, the wine you’re drinking could have been from a box rather than a bottle.

  10. leahnz says:

    geeze, that’s what we look like on the piss all the time, joe. highfalutin all the way

  11. LexG says:

    Hey Leah/anyone…
    I am on day 12 of trying to get through PIRANHA 2: THE SPAWNING out of Cameron Completism. Always wanted to see this, finally getting to it after 25 years of awareness…
    On one hand, yeah, it’s lame and terrible and deadly boring in between funny spots and topless chicks and Lance Henricksen, so I can totally see why Cameron or at least his devotees don’t consider it part of his canon…
    On the other, however compromised and lame, it’s got Cameron written ALL over it: it’s BLUE, it’s got good-to-great underwater photography, frizz-haired chicks right out of Terminator One, it’s got Henricksen, the soft-focus “quiet” scenes like T1, and again, it’s all BLUE AND WATERY, even has a rope-line bit he kind of recreated on a larger scale in THE ABYSS.
    If I were Cameron, I’d talk this thing up like it was Who’s That Knocking At My Door to Terminator’s Mean Streets.

  12. Sam says:

    Lex: It’s a pretty dubious part of Cameron’s canon. The producer was unhappy with Cameron’s directing and took over after the first week. Cameron still shot most of it, I guess, but he wasn’t allowed to see the footage or enter the editing room.
    So, yeah, if you’re a Cameron completist you do have to see it, but I don’t think it can really be called a James Cameron film.
    As for him talking it up, he did once say that it was “the finest flying piranha movie ever made.”

  13. Joe Straat says:

    Well, you at least look better than I did after the Penguins won the Stanley Cup and I’d downed 6 bottles of Monty Python’s Holy Ail. Oh yeah, and I had to go to work the next day.

  14. leahnz says:

    lex, re: PII,
    the story goes that exec producer assonitis (had to look that one up on imdb for spelling) sacked cameron after so many days into the shoot, always having intended to direct the film himself as a soft-core-porn horror — something having to do with getting finance being dependant on cameron’s attachment as director or some such thing — so even after cam got the boot and was living penniless in his car in italia, having begged to have his name removed from the picture as director, assonitis finished the shoot with no intention of removing cameron’s name. so big jim physically broke into the production facility in the dead of night and edited the ‘PII’ print in an attempt to salvage some modicum of dignity from the bogus proceedings, destined to carry his name for all eternity apparently, in spite of him having only shot a fraction of the film.
    (so the story goes, grain of salt and all that, but cameron breaking and entering to edit the film is legend. i’ve always wondered, tho, how much if any of the final cut of the flick is cameron’s version edited on the fly after B & E or if it’s all down to assonitis’ grubby little fingers)

  15. a_loco says:

    leahnz: Cameron talks about the break in (hypothetically) at about 7:11 in this interview: he broke in, but his cut didn’t make it.

  16. leahnz says:

    ha, straight from the grey-maned horse himself, thanks for that link a_loco. i can just picture cameron being arrested by interpol in rome on a 30yr old outstanding B & E warrant with provision for ‘unauthorised editing!’

  17. LexG says:

    Any Female Lexfans out there, for REAL, hit The Master up Direct Message on my Twitter or e-me. I’m listening to the Neil Young DEAD MAN soundtrack and remember the mid-90s and I’m ready to pop off like Peter North so YEP YEP.
    AND THE THING IS, everyone on the planet IS this horny and longing but they can’t admit it or their deck of cards collapses. I know at least three, no check that (CHRIS EVERET STYLE) FOUR people from here who email me and get less vag than not just me but less vag than Harvey Fierstein but everybody’s gotta front like they’re straight Spur Posse because if you STOP FOR A SECOND to focus on your lack of achievement in L.A., it’s devastating and you realize you’re like a LexG with less talent. YEP YEP.

  18. LexG says:

    The movie I just acted in was “SAG WAIVER.”
    More like VAG WAIVER.

  19. Piranha 2: The Spawning is a great tricky trivia question – as in “What was the first film by James Cameron? a) “The Terminator”, b) “Aliens, c) “Titanic” or d) “Piranha 2: The Spawning” – since so many people just assume it was The Terminator or Aliens and not the silly horror movie that people think was just thrown in for a laugh.
    The movie is absolutely dreadful. I am looking forward to Piranha 3D though. Just ’cause.

  20. Foamy Squirrel says:

    “something having to do with getting finance being dependant on cameron’s attachment as director or some such thing”
    Wait, what? I know Big-J was a DP/Art/Effects dude before then, but I can’t imagine that the financing hinged on a guy with, what, 2 credits in relatively minor production roles for z-grade movies.

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon