BYOB 41910
Been off the grid… bad wi-fi and family.
Dede Allen is a legend and deserves some real discussion.
Anything else?
April 19, 2024
BYOB
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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?
So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.
And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.
There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.
I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.
So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.
But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”
My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher
“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.
~ David Simon
Belatedly watching Speed Racer for the first time on Blu-Ray tonight (wanted it for a Silver double feature with Holmes but mismanaged the Netflix queue). I’m not a big fan of big blockbusters but when the W brothers make their first 3-D movie, I’m there opening day.
Yes Dede Allen’s influence has been felt perhaps more deeply than the other great talents with whom she worked; Arthur Penn, Warren Beatty, Sidney Lumet, Robert Rossen. In particular, her work on Bonnie and Clyde exemplifies a changeover from old to new Hollywood. The great, great Burnett Guffey (who had already won in B&W for From Here to Eternity) was the only one of the eleven nominees to receive an Oscar for the film. He was the old school and everyone else was up and coming (almost everyone from David Newman and Robert Benton, right along to Curtis Hanson who served as set photographer).
Rightly, everyone is noting how Allen absorbed many of the New Wave tenets (plus her own innovation of pre-lapping the sound from the next scene) and while everyone is noting how stunning the final sequence in the film is, I invite everyone to look again at some of the earlier shoot-outs in the film and not how frequently she tightens the tension and increases the tempo by cutting from an action before it is completed to another action after it has begun. In other words, she reorganized the principle of dynamics in a way not even Eisenstein had considered. True, he was cementing the playbook, but the more established the style/theory, the more difficult it is to reshape it. Allen did that. One of the truly most innovative, inspired and insightful editors ever. And yes, I admit that by focusing on Bonnie and Clyde I am cheating somewhat because its editing is so “flashy”, so evident. But when I think of The Hustler and Reds (two of my favorite American films) and more recently, Wonder Boys, I marvel at the way she kept clear the facial registration of so many characters so that we could read their emotional maps.
Sergei Eisenstein, Margaret Booth, Robert Wise, William Hornbeck, Agn
GRETA GERWIG POWER on this FALLON RERUN.
What an AWESOME, CHARMING, ACCESSIBLE, COOL, LIKABLE, NON-ANNOYING, RELATABLE HOTTTT CHICK.
BOW TO HER and BOW TO GREENBERG, THE SINGLE BEST AMERICAN MOVIE OF 2010 that isn’t KICK-ASS which is just slightly better.
GERWIG POWER.
This is who I should be dating. If I weren’t so annoying and unappealing.
MY LIFE SUCKS.
Lex,
I don’t want to sound like a bumper sticker, but don’t waste time and energy obsessing over what you don’t have. Even hotness like Gerwig, K-Stew and Angelina don’t have stuff. Focus on what you have got and then after a while you realize that the other stuff doesn’t really matter all that much. Apologies if I sound condescending.
Don’t worry about him, Pope, he’s just an internet construct, not a real person. All an act.
The attitude might be a construct, but I think the desperation is a little real.
Anyways, Lex, I agree with everything you said about Gerwig except for “HOTTTT”.
She’s not that hot, more like “DECENTTT-LOOKING”.
Pope, B&C actually won two Oscars: the other was to Estelle Parsons for Supporting Actress.
Really sad with what WB has done with “The Losers” as a fan of the comics (and Zoe Saldana).
WB has shuffled the release date like 10 times, eventually dumping it either because it’s terrible or too similar to “A-Team.” And it sucks for Saldana having at least two of her movies (the other being “Takers”) dumped right after Avatar.
Ethan, I wasn’t really aware that the April date was considered a dump (for this movie, anyway). Weren’t most of those shuffles just moving back and force between the date it has now and a date in June? Considering a move to June doesn’t seem like a show of no confidence. Maybe keeping it in April does, but I’m pretty sure it was set for first-quarter for a long time, which makes sense; it doesn’t look BIG enough to compete in the summer (in a good way).
Also, I just read the first twelve issues of the comic, and I have to say, although I’m sure it could be screwed up as a movie, I’m not really sure how. It’s not as if the comic (in those first twelve issues, anyway) has a lot of really affecting character development. A few nice moments, I guess, but mostly a lot of heisting and action, a lot of which I think might play better onscreen than it did on the page for me. It doesn’t help that Jock’s art makes several of the characters difficult to tell apart (I actually prefer the sub artist they have in on an issue or two in the middle).
If anything, it plays like a book full of “trailer moments” but not quite enough story/involvement. Maybe that’s just because I’d seen the trailer so many times and a bunch of the big moments *are* from that first run of issues… but then again, that also makes it look pretty faithful.
Maybe it’ll suck. I’m seeing it tomorrow and I’m definitely curious. But Takers seems like more of a dump, winding up in late-August territory after flirting with first quarter, then briefly real-deal summer, and then… third week of August or whenever it’s coming out.
I don’t understand how Cheryl Cole from the Brit girl group Girls Aloud isn’t a major star in America. She’s absolutely gorgeous and patently adorable.
Cheryl on The Jonathan Ross Show
Does anyone know where I can buy HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN’S STUPID HAT from TAKERS?
TAKERS looks awesome, as does THE LOSERS. 2.35:1 URBAN ACTION WITH GUNFIRE = AUTOMATIC three stars, so I have no worries about The Losers RULING.
MAMA DIDN’T RAISE NO FOOL POWER. Best Trailer Ever, EVANS IS GOD.
Hey, does every third movie since this past December have some combination of Zoe Saldana, Idris Elba, Matt Dillon, and Columbus Short?
Armored: Dillon, Short
Takers: Dillon, Elba, Saldana
Losers: Saldana, Short
Death at a Funeral: Saldana, Short
What I am basically wondering is where Columbus Short came from to get in so many awesome movies at once, especially opposite SALDANA POWER.
I also wonder if Morris Chestnutt is annoyed at this guy being The 10 Years Younger Version of himself.
Went to the opening night gala for COL-COA (City of Lights/City of Angels – French Film Festival) at the DGA last night to check out “Logorama” on the big screen as well as Pascal Chaumeil’s directorial debut, “L’arnacoeur” (“Heartbreaker”) with Romain Duris and Vanessa Paradis. The movie is actually really fun – about a guy, his sister and her husband who get hired to break up relationships and, of course, the movie focuses on the case where Romain Duris’ character of Alex actually falls for the girl, Juliette (Paradis). It’s light romantic fare that, every time you think it’s going to fall into cliche, it’s a little smarter and a little more clever than it should be and is just a fun night at the movies.
Naturally, that made my movie-going companion and I both dubious about the already-in-the-planning stages (Universal, I think?) American remake, but hey, maybe it’ll retain all the nuances and work just as well.
The funny thing is, the concept has been kicking around Hollywood for awhile with various producers trying to nail the idea of a Warren Beatty-type just so smooth that he can break up any relationship and does so for cash, but this is the best version I’ve come across (I think Ashton Kutcher might’ve been involved in one for awhile, even).
KUTCHER RULES.
A belated thanks Cadavra for pointing out my mistake: Estelle Parsons, yes, the other Oscar winner for Bonnie and Clyde. Thanks for the correction.
I was reading Gary Dretzka’s always interesting DVD wrap and he wrote something about CRAZY HEART that’s been bugging me since I saw the film. People keep saying the tale of a burned out/drunken country singer seeking redemption movie has been done all kinds of times but I totally disagree. Aside from TENDER MERCIES and that Rip Torn movie PAYDAY that frankly NO ONE has seen, there just isn’t any.
And I would know because as a huge fan of outlaw country music, stories and musicians, I’m constantly wondering why no one taps that well.
When I reviewed the film and interviewed Scott Cooper I wondered if people just think it’s a story they’ve seen before because that American country music burnout story is so ingrained in many of us from real life. Cuz otherwise I just think people are parroting other reviews and have no proof.
Walk the Line?
OUTLAW BLUES (1977) … peter fonda, susan st james
SONGWRITER (1984) … willie nelson, kris kristofferson, melinda dillon
Annnnnd….I rest my case 😉
Lex, three of those four titles you mention are Screen Gems, which often signs actors for multi-picture deals (like Morris Chestnut at one time).
And CISCO PIKE…
I think the final August release date for TAKERS had more to do with T.I.’s release from prison and availability than anything else (remember, he did also produce the film, so I imagine he wanted to be able to properly promote, and no doubt Screen Gems wanted to milk that bit of notoriety).
And Columbus Short was the lead in a “surprise” youth hit a couple of years ago, hence his career heat. (THE LOSERS is his last scheduled release for a while though)
Did a double-feature of “Exit Through the Gift Shop” and then “Les beaux gosses” (“The French Kissers”) at the COL-COA Fest tonight. Though they’re trying to say “French Kissers” is the French “American Pie,” it’s kind of not that. More, an incredibly uncomfortable flick about awkward teen years that’s funny here and there, but certainly not broad. Kind of a tiny movie, but good.
But as for that Banksy flick, I’ll bet there are a lot of Los Angelenos who will feel vindicated by it. People were well tapped into what Banksy and others were up to when “MBW”‘s ‘art’ started showing up on Melrose. At the time, folks were already talking about how derivative his stuff was and how there really wasn’t anything new going on. It was thereby surprising to see the long lines of people at the “Life is Beautiful” exhibition, but whatever.
@jesse…yeah late April is generally considered the last dumping ground time until late August…and the fact “Losers” was moved around up until a month ago, and there’s been less advertising for it than “A-Team” which is months off, seems pretty bad. It’s tracking is similar to “The Box.”
Not to engage in SAME OLD SAME OLD O’CLOCK to the infinite annoyance of everyone, but I HAD to respond to this PRIZE from The Pope (holy shit I didn’t know THE POPE was a big LexG fan…)
“I don’t want to sound like a bumper sticker, but don’t waste time and energy obsessing over what you don’t have.”
I can’t even believe my eyes. You really must be religious or something. IF EVERYONE or ANYONE actually thought like this, NOTHING WOULD EVER HAVE BEEN ACCOMPLISHED IN THE WORLD.
I hate, hate, hate, HATE when someone pulls that BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU’VE GOT shit, or tries to put my misery in perspective by telling me about some cousin or African pen pal of theirs who looks like Rocky Dennis crossed with Wee Man and has no sense of touch.
Yes, I get it, there’s ALWAYS somebody out there who’s worse off than you, but if you COMPARE YOURSELF to that person, you have some pretty fucking low standards. If we all thought like that no one would’ve invented fire or the fucking wheel.
No. WHAT ONE MAN CAN DO ANOTHER MAN CAN DO. SAY IT.
ABSOLUTELY NO ONE WHO ISN’T ROBERT PATTINSON OR SAM WORTHINGTON should EVER BE HAPPY FOR ONE SECOND, EVER, because YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS don’t mean shit in the FACE OF GODS.
I’m never gonna be happy with anything short of GLOBAL FAME and FLOWING VAGINA. AND YOU SHOULDN’T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS, EITHER.
If you accept that there are famous people in the world who get laid VIA FAMOUS WOMEN– and this is a FACT– and you accept that you are not one of those people, then you are accepting THAT YOU ARE A LESSER PERSON. A PERSON OF LESSER VALUE. INFERIOR. WEAK.
In the face of such things, how does one find even BASIC ENJOYMENT in a life of ANYTHING LESS?
THERE WILL NEVER BE A POINT IN LIFE, EVER, where I am content with ANYTHING– not some bullshit job, not some workaday chick, not some shitty existence as a MEDIOCRE LOSER, knowing that there are GLOBALLY FAMOUS SUPERSTARS OUT THERE who fuck hot women. Especially in a day and age where the bar for “fame” has been lowered to include third-stringers from SURVIVOR and ROCK OF LOVE.
They say it’s easier to GET FAMOUS now than ever before, but that’s fucking bullshit, because I’ve auditioned for every reality show going and never get called back. FUCKING SUCKS.
I have NO MONEY and NO CONTACTS, just dudes who make shorts and student films but HOW DO YOU PARLAY THAT INTO SHIT LIKE HEADSHOTS and AUDITIONS and MANAGERS?
I haven’t had a headshot taken since like 1995. But like some PAUL GIAMATI type isn’t getting cast off HEAD SHOTS. No headshot in the world is gonna make James Gandolfini look like Brad Pitt, and no headshot in the world is gonna make me look like Sam Worthington… SO IS IT REALLY WORTH IT to have headshots?
How did I get on that? Who gives a fuck. Basically FUCK THE WORLD and LIFE SUCKS and it KILLS ME EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY, KILLS MY BLOOD PRESSURE, MY HAIR, the entirety of any light that was ever within, TO NOT BE FAMOUS.
Hey, who’s this FAT GUY on Fallon? Eric Stonestreet? Never heard of him, NO CLUE who he is, but he’s FAMOUS. How do you get to be a FAMOUS FAT GUY? This guy got cast, and he’s not good looking. HOW DO YOU GET AN AGENT?
If there are any FEMALE AGENTS reading this, I will PERFORM ORAL ON YOU for EIGHT CONSECUTIVE HOURS if you represent me.
YOUR CALL.
As usual, LexG gets right to the heart of the matter. I just finished reading Simon Winchester’s “The Man Who Loved China” about Joseph Needham (who originated/co-authored the 17-volume “Science and Civilization in China” books at Cambridge) and Winchester extrapolates the same point from Needham’s work, but far less concisely than LexG.
Basically, the big question of Needham’s work is why, if just so many things were actually invented in China – from more efficient boat designs to magnetic compasses – why did all that innovation stop cold at a certain point and the West began pushing innovation and invention and left Chinese civilization behind?
Though it’s shorthand, what LexG says – that people were told to be thankful for what they had by the ruling classes, which led to a cessation of creative endeavors (without reward – why bother?) – is what stopped China from being the dominant civilization of the latter centuries of the second millennia.
Which means, we would’ve had to come up with a different villain for the “Red Dawn” remake. And fuck that.
Or something.
Lex forgot to mention that Elba is also in The Losers. He was even mentioned byname in the trailer I saw…and at the time I was like who the is that guy? Now I know, since I’m watching the 13th best tv show ever made.
You can be thankful for what you have, and at the same time, strive for more.
Though it’s shorthand, what LexG says – that people were told to be thankful for what they had by the ruling classes, which led to a cessation of creative endeavors (without reward – why bother?)
The lack of reward led to the cessation of creative endeavors, not the directive to “be thankful”.
If the “heart” of the matter is the need for fame, I don’t see what that has to with the cost of tea in China.
I think they go hand-in-hand. It was a pattern in Victorianism, it’s something Naguib Mahfouz wrote about in regards to Islam, it’s something I saw growing up in the south around Baptists – be thankful for what you have, don’t get above your station, be happy as a drone. If you want excitement, get a realtor’s license.
Re: christian
Humans are animals and hardwired to procreate. It’s why we’re here. Historically, the strong or wealthy make the best lives for their offspring. So, wars are fought for money and land to benefit the cubs. Winning fame, winning money, winning the ability to successfully procreate and have your offspring face life with similar success is all we humans have to do.
I don’t think LexG is saying anything that revolutionary. I just think he’s giving voice to an evolutionary/societal dilemma.
(that dilemma being that all signs point to the best life being that of the king, but the reality being that there can only be a handful of royals – which is why we enjoy tearing down our kings. The further people move away from religion and that promise of “don’t worry – we’re all kings in the after-life” and into a sort of cultural religiosity-cum-atheism, the more this will be a problem!)
See SJ, you’re also talking about modern American capitalism, which Lex BOWS before. So you’re pointing out that he is merely a “victim” of the system that he worships. That I already get.
This “winning” meme only works if you buy into it. And anybody that can step outside themselves (which Lex chooses not to) can feel grateful for what they have — if they don’t measure it in terms of TMZ.
That’s the spiritual component you’ve left out and it has nothing to do with society or success.
It’s worse. Status anxiety is the secret sauce in modern capitalism. But it’s actually not true that “all signs point to the best life being that of the king”. That’s buying into consumer rhetoric, aided by dubious evolutionary biology. Basically the rhetoric of consumption and economically virtuous greed wants people to be in a permanent state of regressive and resentful sensuality. Good little earners.
And can I just say that “They Live” is a hoot. If Red Dawn gets a remake then “They Live” deserves one too.
THEY LIVE really needed to be an epic. The first 45 minutes are Carpenter at his very best satire.
“That’s buying into consumer rhetoric, aided by dubious evolutionary biology. Basically the rhetoric of consumption and economically virtuous greed wants people to be in a permanent state of regressive and resentful sensuality.”
That’s a BINGO.
The fifteen minute rumble in the parking lot? That’s the best professional wrestling ever captured on film.
I agree re: They Live.
Imagine what wonders Lex might achieve if he wasn’t a clinically depressed alcoholic with motivation issues.
HEY has anyone ever taken classes at the GROUNDLINGS?
Does anyone know how much that shit costs? A lot of comics back when I did stand up would AUDITION for The Groundlings. I know you also have to AUDITION to get into Pasadena Playhouse.
QUESTION: How you gonna fucking AUDITION for some shit that YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR? It’s not like it’s a JOB, it’s a CLASS in which YOU PAY to be taught. Why should you need to AUDITION to get into it? It’s not like it’s a roving troupe where THAT’S YOUR JOB.
It’d be like having to audition to take night classes in drafting at the Career Institute.
Anyway, I need to move up from hidden-away backroom classes in far-flung locations where I could just be making it up. Seriously, couldn’t ANYONE just right down “I took COLD READ CLASSES from JOE SMITH in North Hollywood” and put it on an acting resume and no one would be the wiser (or the least bit impressed.)
Is Groundlings more for like TWENTYSOMETHINGS? And do you have to do all that EMBARRASSING Wayne Brady/Drew Carey style IMPROV where the audience calls out suggestions? That’s the lamest, whitest thing ever (McDouche is a big UCB fan, for reference.)
Can’t you just join it and you do like SNL sketches in character? That would be cool, but all that IMPROV shit is LAME.
The “improv” – meant to be called from the audience – is often fake:
DIRECTOR (indicating actors on stage): Okay, so what are these people doing?
AUDIENCE MEMBER #1: Planning a heist!
AUDIENCE MEMBER #2: Helping a little old lady across the street!
AUDIENCE MEMBER #3: Raping a duck!
DIRECTOR (under his breath, as if repeating something funny he just heard): Heh, ‘fighting a fire in a bakery.’
AUDIENCE MEMBER #4: Swimming the English Channel!
AUDIENCE MEMBER #5: Baiting people on the internet!
AUDIENCE MEMBER #6: Climbing Everest!
DIRECTOR (nods, raising his hands): Well, I heard ‘fighting a fire in a bakery,’ so let’s go with that! (to actors) Okay, let’s see ‘fighting fire in a bakery.’
The actors then pretend as if this is the first time they’ve heard this when actually it’s one of many things the director/actors have gone over pre-show.
It’s like a magic trick/con game.
jeffmcm wrote: Imagine what wonders Lex might achieve if he wasn’t a clinically depressed alcoholic with motivation issues.”
Symptoms, not the cause. Lex’s problem is that he never finishes what he starts. I’m surprised he’s had enough dedication to see his way through to becoming a full-blown alcoholic. I always imagine going to his place and seeing a buncha half opened bottles of beer and hooch cuz he’d quit drinking one before he got to the last drop.
Lex, I’ve never been to UCB. I do know a bunch of actors, though, who’ve taken classes at various places, then who have performed in groups, and who then who’ve gotten cast in commercials and pilots.
SJR, your description of improv is completely alien to any performance I’ve ever seen.
Lex is wrong about headshots. I think they’re more important for ugly/weird looking fuckers than hot people. When I see a hot headshot with her mouth closed, I start figuring out what was airbrushed and if her teeth are crooked which is why she’s not smiling. Or whatever, headshots are liars, actors are totally made up and whatnot, you have to see what they look like in person. But if I’m looking, say, for a serial killer, and I see a headshot of some ugly weirdo with pockmarks on his face, I figure if he can act, there’s my guy. You know, if that’s the best this guy’s going to look, then that works just fine.
That’s kind of why I was asking… I wasn’t claiming any certainty on the issue. I just don’t know what kind of look to affect in a headshot. There’s nothing in the world that’s gonna make me look like Clooney in a B&W still shot, but when you have as many “trouble” areas as I do– we could seize on many, but for the sake of my mood let’s stick with something beyond my control, like hair loss– there’s a question of “play it up” vs. “try to conceal it.”
Like, I could spray some Ron Popeil on my bald patches for the picture, then I’m gonna show up to an audition looking like 1997 Mel Gibson scalp under stage lights. It’s almost deceptive advertising for a bald guy to not cop to it in the headshot, but doesn’t being a bald guy INSTANTLY rule you out for 99% of all film or TV parts?
Also, what if you’re a guy who changes his “look” every two weeks? Sometimes I go five, six months without a haircut, other times I buzz it weekly… usually I have some kind of shitty facial hair, sometimes clean shaven. My weight fluctuates between 225 and 255 depending on my current laziness. How the fuck do you have a CONSTANT CURRENT HEADSHOT of what you look like? It might’ve worked for some Matt Damon/Leo type who has the same haircut for 15 years and never ages, but really, most people (leaving myself out for now, but just think of your friends, coworkers, or most known actors) don’t have the same look day in and day out.
Lex, you’re in the realm of needing to be ‘wacky character actor’ guy. That usually means just a big confident smile, maybe something to indicate a unique sensibility like a gesture or costume choice that you make your own. And yeah, one of the best ways (in my limited experience) to ensure that you turn off a casting person is to show up looking very much NOT like your headshot, because that’s an immediate turn-off.
Fun fact that no one will care about but me:
RAFTERMAN FROM FULL METAL JACKET, aka Kevyn Major Howard, also from DEATH WISH II and ALIEN NATION, is apparently a top headshot photographer.
How much would it RULE to get your headshot taken by that guy? Maybe he’d sign my Death Wish II DVD.
Bet it costs a fortune though.
Don’t laugh but does anyone else have a fear or phobia of calling or contacting people? Can’t tell you how many acting classes or photographers or casting notices I’ve wanted to respond to but I get nervous that if I call them I’ll be interrupting them or they’ll think I’m a nerd and laugh at me. The PHONE is the scariest shit in the world to me. I CANNOT make phone calls.
And I can’t even receive them. Sometimes like if someone calls me about a job, I let it go to voicemail then wait three or four hours before I can work up the nerve to listen to it.
I hate the phone.
McDouche, thanks for the advice. Seems solid and what most people say… But should I really go the “fat guy in Hawaiian shirt making a goofy gesture” route? That seems too comedic and I want to be playing sweaty perverts and perps on cop shows. Though I guess wacky fat guy would be OK… better than transcribing porn for 200 bucks a day, in any case.
‘Fat guy in Hawaiian shirt’ is a cliche, so no. If you want to be playing perps, dress like and affect the attitude of a perp. You have to be able to stick with said attitude when you get called in, though, and not be nervous etc.
How does one ‘transcribe’ porn? For making subtitles?
re: jeffmcm
Saw a group do it as recently as three or four Fridays ago. When the director started doing it, I was like, “Oh, yeah! I’ve seen this trick before!”
I assume it just grows out of shitty audience suggestions over the weeks, but they shot down some clear audience favorites a couple of times for the “director’s choice.”
Well, improv groups do get tired of ‘We need an occupation!’ ‘Proctologist!’ ‘How about another one?’ ‘Gynocologist!’.
I’ve never seen a director on-stage with the actors though. Where was this show, out of curiosity?
Jeff, I’d rather not discuss the TRADE SECRETS of the thrilling world of spot scripting on anyone’s dime, and I have NO IDEA why anyone needs a continuity script or other scripting/titling services for EAT MY JIZZ 326, but let’s just say, to all aspiring porn stars out there, PLEASE just do some generalized grunting and squealing, and not “Oh, God, oh, yes, oh, God, oh, yes, make me COME,” because there’s some decidedly NOT aroused sadsack in a Valley bunker trying in vain to take down each and every single one of your stupid utterances.
(Note that at a company I used to work for, I once got called in and some schoolmarm type with a DRY ERASE BOARD AND A POINTER gave me a nine-minute lecture that spelling semen “cum” is a FIREABLE OFFENSE, because “cum” isn’t in the American-Heritage dictionary, so the proper way to render said choice line of dialogue is to spell and punctuate it: “Oh, God, yes. Swallow my come.”) Like, I’m a college-educated, articulate, intelligent adult and THIS IS MY LIFE.
Everything you said in the above post is bizarre. Obviously, this is the script you should be writing.
SJR, that’s surprising to me. That sounds like hacky corporate-gig improv, and not like anything I’ve seen in my (admittedly NYC-centric and limited) improv-watching experience. I’ve never seen anyone *not* take an actual audience prompt (even if maybe they were cherry-picking from those, and as jeff says, who can really blame them for not wanting to take the first “wacky” suggestion they’ve heard a million times before).
The guys and gals who are really good at this stuff are kind of amazing to watch for that very reason — it doesn’t much matter what the word is.
“As usual, LexG gets right to the heart of the matter.”
christ, you have got to be kidding. lex’s self-imposed misery rants are the most ridiculous, narcissistic, superficial, misogynist attention-seeking nonsense ever spewed and have nothing to do with ‘the class struggle’. then someone chimes in with some form of lap-dog ‘lex speaks a certain truth’ re: a schizoid ‘me, me, me! three degrees! i’m so pathetic i suuuuuuuuck!’ to feed the psycho narcissism flame and so it goes, round and round
(and the notion that “what one man can do another can do” is sheer idiocy. not everyone has the same skills, talents or potential, duh. but keep on telling yourself that if if makes you feel worse. life is pain. and then you die)
“what one man can do another can do”
When it comes to killing bears this statement is unequivocally true.
I wonder what improv you’ve seen. In my experience, if you had canned suggestions, it would lead to no spontaneity and hence crappy scenes. If anything, in improv you are taught the exact opposite…that mistakes and weird suggestions are gifts to be mined on the spot.
I am pretty sure Rubinstein is saying– and I believe him wholeheartedly on this– THAT THE DIRECTOR (or someone with the show) IS IN THE AUDIENCE AS A RINGER.
Leah, settle down. I didn’t know it was Booze O’Clock already in Australia.
My rants are much like THE MIGHTY THOMAS PAYNE in their understanding of socioeconomic truisms.
I am the Voltaire of the New Age.
yes, boss
(your rants are much like the mighty tucker max in their understanding of nitwittery and fuckwitism)
Lex, I just re-read SJR’s earlier post, and that’s definitely not what he said. He said the director was ignoring the audience’s suggestions and coming up with one of his own. I’ve seen a bunch of improv and I’ve never witnessed that.
oh and ‘the losers’ is ten kinds of silly wizbang action macgyver-esque 80s fun. the a-team has a harder row to hoe now
“I didn’t know it was Booze O’Clock already in Australia.”
Straight outta Voltaire: irony!
is it still irony if the author doesn’t realise it’s ironic?
Is it still a “chin wag” if James Cameron doesn’t know he’s having it?
HERE COMES THE SLAM.
well now, is it still a wank if you can’t see yer wee willie obscured as it is by belly blubber? hmmm, let us know
(and lex, i’ve not only chin-wagged with the jim, i’ve chatted, had numerous beers and a good laugh with your manslam sam wooooorthington at a party here, howdya like them apples? ozzy nugget would kick yer blathering buffoon head in)
SLAM.
Just wanna mention that we’ve tightened up our film THE VIOLENT KIND (we hired Rob Zombie’s editor for the recut!) since it’s Sundance premiere and it’s rolling out again this weekend at the San Francisco International Film Fest. I know you usually attend the fest David so hope to see you there.
Interested parties can attend this Saturday at 11:00 and then it plays again Tuesday at 9:30. This years SFIFF is pretty awesome. Roger Ebert and Walter Murch will be there and there’s some great films including Aaron Katz’s buzzworthy film “Cold Weather.” Come see our film and say Hi!
Sam Worthington would think I was the AWESOMEST DUDE IN THE WORLD. When I hurry up and get famous, I’m gonna be rolling with Worthington and shutting down every bar in L.A. like Martin and Lewis with the guy, blasting ROLLIN’ by LIMP BIZKIT out the windows of my drunk-driven Ford Taurus all the while via my VEGAs.
Lex, WATCH TV. While maybe you’re not going to be the lead of something, how many supporting roles need to be filled for every hour of tv shows? And those guys aren’t a bunch of models. Don’t be Brad Pitt since that ain’t happening, be Paul Giamatti. Be a character actor, there are more roles for a good character actor over a pretty boy lead anyway. No one’s hiring Lance Henriksen or Christopher Walken because they’re handsome.
And write that fucking porn script, I’d watch that shit.
“write that fucking porn script”
Is there any other kind of porn script?
If porn had scripts Lex wouldn’t need to transcribe them. I think the directors let them ad-lib a lot.
Reminds me of that scene in Monsoon Wedding with the Indian porn dubbing voice actress.
Greetings from the Nashville Film Festival, which is held here in Music City at the Regal Green Hills Cinema. The same Regal theater that’s currently showing — on one of the big upstairs auditoriums not turned over to the festival for 10 days — Kick-Ass. Hey, Chucky, I guess this particular Regal theater didn’t get the memo, huh? DP, would you like me to take a frickin’ photo of the marquee, so you could post it?
Oh, and Leah: The Topp Twins are pretty damn funny.
Oh, wait, Chucky’s beef was with the Carmike chain. Never mind.
I don’t know what would be worse, having to spell cum as c-o-m-e or that language precise company would cite American-Heritage as the dictionary of record and not use Random House unabridged.
ha, joe, the twins are indeed characters, one of a kind. camp mother and camp leader
(shit, i guess technically the twins are two of a kind)
YEP YEP WHO ELSE IS GETTING CRUNK?
FUUUUUCK YEA. DRINKING POWER. YOU KNOW IT.
Been trying to cut ALL that shit down lately so I can be presentable for my HEADSHOTS, and usually I like to talk smack to like McDouche and Perm but I DO appreciate the advice and encouragement about pics.
Not that anyone cares but me, but yeah, I have NO ILLUSIONS that I’m gonna be SAM WORTHINGTON and the only way I’m sharing screen time with K-STEW, DAKOTA or SEYFRIED is if I’m playing some sweaty neighborhood creep flashing them (GOOD IDEA) or their perverted uncle/stepfather. But I’d be A-O-FUCKING-K doing an occasional TV GUEST SPOT at some FAT GUY on a bad sitcom or as some perp on a crime procedural. In fact, THAT IS EXACTLY what I would want to do, because you’re not committed to a LONG-TERM GIG and you can usually film it in L.A. or maybe in a week or two in Vancouver.
Much as I love MOVIES, when I think of some of my favorite movies EVER: I’m always like YEAH I WISH I COULD’VE BEEN IN BLACK HAWK DOWN or SAVING PRIVATE RYAN.
But think about that shit: Who wants to have to go live in a HOTEL FOR SIX MONTHS in MOROCCO and have to sign up for RET. GENERAL DALE DYE USMC’s stupid WAR TRAINING CLASSES where you have to get up at 5 FUCKING AM and probably have to share a hotel room with some British asshole who’s fucking chicks all over your belongings. FUCK TRAVELING, and fuck BOOT CAMP to play a soldier.
Shit, if BEING IN MOVIES means MOVING TO NEW ZEALAND for EIGHT MONTHS to do JUJITSU TRAINING with James Cameron? Shit, put me on a two episode arc of fucking NCIS and let me go home at 6pm so I can get some fucking sleep.
Seriously, how does a Giovanni Ribisi or Zoe Saldana still manage to see four movies a week at the Arclight during all the months they were shooting AVATAR?
Like if RIDLEY SCOTT called and said LEX COME AND FILM A SCENE FOR ME THIS SATURDAY, I’d be stoked but mostly I’d be pissed ’cause I told my gal pals I’d go see BREAKUP PLAN with them at the Sherman Oaks theater.
LONG AS I’M DELIGHTING THE MASSES:
Anyone watch IDOL GIVES BACK tonight? (I know Showtune Poland did.)
HOLY FUCKING BALLS, can IDOL “give back” the two fucking hours I wasted watching that shit (ie, FAST FORWARDING THROUGH IT) to get to the results? I enjoyed the AFFLECK AND GARNER CAMEOS, Jonah Hill is my IDOL, but everything else was ABJECT TORTURE, then it went and ran til fucking 10:24. WHAT THE HELL.
And when did Alicia Keys (who RULES) GROW A TEN GALLON ASS? And same question for FERGIE FERG.
I was all ready to jack attack (front to back) but then the ladies were all dowdy. Even JOSS STONE (AKA JOSS BONE GOOD JOKE) wore some fucking PILGRIM COSTUME I couldn’t punch the clown too. And usually JOSS BONE performs BAREFOOT which we all know is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT. But tonight she had some fucking CRYSTAL GALE looking LONG GOWN on like fucking RUPERT HOLMES was gonna come out and duet on HIM with her.
WASTE OF MY VALUABLE TIME. Plus Seacrest didn’t even host it all gakked-out like he was LAST WEEK, when he was groping teenage girls and going WOOT WOOT and dancing with guys in the audience.
BUT CRUCIAL QUESTION EVEN IF YOU IGNORED THE ABOVE:
Is it just me, or is CHESLEY SULLENBERGER the SINGLE FUNNIEST THING IN THE HISTORY OF TIME?
WHAT. A. DOUCHE.
See Lex, this is what I’ve been saying…if you’re making movies, you’re usually not watching them. I still never got to see Avatar. The few chances I had were always fucked with bad luck like that snowstorm.
Also you guys, that woman Lex talked to is wrong, and she should be fired. Go to ANY porn site, and the accepted spelling is and always has been “cum.”
I recently had a porn title I named nominated for an AVN award for “Clever Title of the Year.” TRUE STORY.
Don, what was the title?
Lex, I actually got to go to Idol Gives Back out in Pasadena last night. I was up in the balcony. From what I could tell Fergie still looked good but for whatever reason I kept thinking about her fianc
Sexual Blacktivity!