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David Poland

By David Poland

Speaking To The Irrelevance of 3D

Bulging males eyes (etc) aside, this image from Driving Angry needs no further dimensions to get attention. The situation is both maximized and MAXIMized to an effect as old as the first well-shaped leg and the male sense (false or real) that the woman attached to it might be in The Coalition of the Willing.

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26 Responses to “Speaking To The Irrelevance of 3D”

  1. Stella's Boy says:

    Todd Farmer is awesome. That is all.

  2. a_loco says:

    I thought Drive Angry was gonna be another one of those “Nic Cage needs money” flicks (Bangkok Dangerous, Season of the Witch, etc.), but everything I’ve been hearing about it lately makes it sound AWESOME.

  3. SJRubinstein says:

    “Drive Angry” and the final “Harry Potter” are what I’m looking forward to in 2011. I’m sure there are other things, but “Drive Angry” is going to be fucking awesome.

  4. But if it was 3D, that door would be coming RIGHT OUT OF THE SCREEN!!!

  5. IOv2 says:

    If only it were her boobs. Sad Banner Walk Away.

  6. Kelby says:

    3d is like beef, if it says bio on the package I know I can eat it.

  7. David Poland says:

    You know, IO, in that 3D Playboy centerfold… nothing particularly 3D about the boobs… was all foreground and background that gave the scene depth. The human body is too subtle for anything less than a pointing part to have any 3D effect.

  8. IOv2 says:

    Well David, the best answer I can give you is, hopefully Roger Corman-esque beauties get more work in 3D films. Someone has to pull off a 3D boob shot before this is all said and done for the giggle inducing audience reaction alone.

  9. yancyskancy says:

    I think maybe you mean Russ Meyer-esque, IO. And didn’t he do a 3D flick once? Or did I dream that?
    I do remember seeing something like The Swinging Stewardesses in 3D many years ago, on a double bill with a Three Stooges 3D effort. This was in Evansville, Indiana, and it actually drew a pretty big crowd.

  10. LexG says:

    Only bummer is she’s wearing boots instead of heels. I never get the boot thing, be it from hookers, strippers, models, actresses, etc. Not even go-go boots. Heels only, ladies.

  11. IOv2 says:

    Yancy, you are indeed correct. I get those two confused all the time. Yes, Russ Meyer level boobs should do.
    Lex, heels are frakkin stupid. Seriously, boots all day, all night, and even on weekends. Nothing better than a woman wearing boots.
    That’s what it’s about right there, sir.

  12. LexG says:

    No, it’s all about women’s exposed feet. IE, HOT.

  13. IOv2 says:

    Nah it’s all about the boots showing off the thighs, HOTTER!

  14. LexG says:

    Heels are more flattering to the legs, giving them shape and definition.

  15. IOv2 says:

    So do thigh high boots, Lex. You just have a foot fetish. I just dig the legs more than the feet, if I had to pick one or the other.

  16. Joe Straat says:

    Ugh. Feet.
    Anyway, I’m suddenly wanting to see the infamous transition shot from Brotherhood of the Wolf in 3-D…..

  17. Pete Grisham says:

    Tell me Poland, do you like your breasts “flat” too?
    And strangely, as much as I am andmirer of a nice pair of legs, it’s not them that stand out to me in that picture. Maybe at first and maybe because I’ve seen hotter legs but pretty soon it’s the color contrast and the sun kissed face that keeps the attention.

  18. jose says:

    MAD MEN!!!

  19. Blackcloud says:

    Who is she?

  20. LexG says:

    “She” is AMBER HEARD, and you should be BOWING with all the force you can muster, even if she’s a second-tier Lexette.
    She is mostly famous for being naked almost nonstop in just about everything she does, particularly THE INFORMERS, in which is she naked, being ogled, or having sex in literally every single moment she’s on screen. She also played Rogen’s jailbait high school girlfriend (GOOD IDEA ACROSS THE BOARD) in Pineapple Express, was the lead hot chick in the AWESOME Never Back Down.
    In The Stepfather remake, they went for the PG-13 rating, so the filmmakers compromised and put her in a string bikini in every single scene, and you can practically hear the DP breathing like Joe Spinell in MANIAC behind the lens, so lecherously is she filmed. She was also naked yet again in that fake-family movie with Duchovny and Demi Moore that just came out called The Joneses or The Judges or whatever it was. And she had a cameo in Zombieland as the hot chick Eisenberg was going to bang in the dorm who turned into a zombie at the last minute.
    And she had the lead in something called All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, which horror-comic type guys like LYT, Don Lewis, etc have been talking up since second-term Clinton, but I have NO IDEA what it is, and I don’t think it’s ever come out.

  21. Stella's Boy says:

    Heard is also the lead in Carpenter’s next movie, The Ward. I don’t remember her in Alpha Dog. She is the best thing about The Stepfather remake.

  22. Blackcloud says:

    She can take her clothes off, but can she act? Oh, who am I kidding, no one cares.

  23. Triple Option says:

    Lex, I can’t believe the scene in Vision Quest when Linda Fiorentino walked into the gym to see Modine and literally stopped practice when she was wearing that wispy skirt and cowboy boots didn’t have lasting impact on your adolescence or formative years.

  24. LexG says:

    I don’t think yancyskancy will check back into this thread, but TERESA PALMER who he’s been telling me about since Bedtime Stories is in Sorcerer’s Apprentice.
    She is like a bioengineered mix of KRISTEN STEWART and AMBER HEARD. But somehow when I saw the movie– maybe it’s because it’s Disney so they can’t really put her in LITTLE OUTFITS, or I was just grading her against K-STEW (aka HOTTEST WOMAN EVER), as I was watching it I was thinking she was only YEP.
    But now that I’ve done some GISing on the matter and in retrospect I’m thinking PALMER (I’d like to Palm Her if you know what I mean) is a full-on YEP YEP and should make a movie with AM-HEARD and K-STEW called LOLLIPOPS. GOOD IDEA.
    Also: VISION QUEST rules ALL, but never was that into Fiorentino. Too rapsy, a little too butch, and definitely TOO THREATENING.

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon