As I find myself considering the annual ritual, there are more things I am not thankful for than usual. I feel like the profession I have toiled in for so long has been degraded by fear, lowered standards, and a lack of historic perspective. A friend-quaintance, who was a very close friend and mentor to some of my closest friends, was murdered in cold blood on a public street just days ago. The industry is in turmoil, as studios flail around looking for a way to replace reduced DVD revenues, and feel under attack, forced to spend insane amounts on movies and not INSANE amounts. (Of course, it’s the middle class of the industry that gets killed.) And I seem to have hit that age when the generation ahead of me is now starting to lose the battle with age, and indeed, some people my age and younger are going in greater numbers.

And yet, I remain profoundly thankful.

I Am Thankful For great filmmakers who stretch. Some of them are doing it under duress right now. Others seem to be right in their sweet spot. Doing a lot of interviews with a lot of quality directors each year, it’s heartening to be reminded that business is business and the work is the work. Few of them are so cocky as to disregard the realities of the business, but the box office is a means to an end. Whether it’s an aging veteran like Scorsese or Eastwood, or a rising star like Aronofsky, or a one-for-me-one-for-them like Soderbergh, or a true artist like Fincher who plies his trade exclusively in the higher priced realm of the majors, or a guy like Mike Leigh who does what he does and is no looking to change… and so many others it kinda boggles the mind. When the cynicism seems to thick to climb over, I am reminded, over and over, about The Work, and I remember why I love this stuff. It doesn’t really matter whether I love the film. The passion behind it is what makes it art.

I Am Thankful For all the new delivery systems, even if I am still sorting through how it all fits together into a daily relationship with content for me and for other real world consumers. I am constantly amazed by how much in love the media is with anything new and how blinded so many are to the very real questions that are attached to the new delivery systems. But because Roger Ebert tweeted that The Human Centipede was now streaming on Netflix, I flipped it on with my iPhone during a break in shooting the other day, as part of our now $8 a month service and drove right in. Thanks, Roger (he said a little sarcastically). Another night, I watched the first 6 episodes of Soap on a whim. Catching up with the first season of Modern Family… no problem with Hulu+Plus. Disney sent a Blu-ray of Fantasia that I am watching like a child getting his first ice cream cone. Most of my DirecTV package now seems to be in HD, with specific studio channels from MGM, Sony, and Universal that are loaded to the gills with content. We have about 400 hours of hi-def DVR space available to us that follows us anywhere in the house. And while I love getting awards screeners, it’s kind of breathtaking that they are, pretty much, the lowest quality media in my home. It’s not like they are sending out VHS, but with tens of millions sent every season, trying to give voting groups the best possible experience… hmmm… well, thanks for the discs.

I Thank all of my “enemies.” I’m not sure if they can really be qualified as enemies, as they rarely make real contact. But they remind me, with ease, that losing perspective is a threat forever lurking right around the corner. We are all capable of ugliness. We are all capable of cruelty. But when the fires of ire rise around me, I usually get to a point, after stoking the fire by engaging, where I finally remember that my anger is not about them and their anger is not about me… not really. We are about ourselves. And so, I try to keep to the work, which I understand feels very personal to people. But we work in public by choice. I we can’t deal with challenges to our work, why are we here? If we can’t deal with challenges to us personally? That I understand. But it’s a constant battle to keep perspective so that we can see the difference.

I Genuinely Thank the truth tellers. We all carry our stuff into every conversation, but there are people who just prefer to tell the truth and thank the Lord above. I can’t speak for anyone else, but there are plenty of people who seem to want to placate me… and if that requires a lie, please don’t. People need to learn to eat their porridge and move on. And they need to demand accountability. Power should not be defined as the ability to manipulate the petty fear of others. Sunshine remains the best disinfectant.

Thanks To everyone who allows DP/30 to happen. It has become the most important work that I do. And it has been supported by a parade of personal publicists, studios, and the talent that allows themselves to engage in something closer to a real conversation than we usually get to have in this business. I just had the amazing experience of shooting six 30-minute interviews for one film and by the end of the day, I really had more insight into The Work that all of these people did together with hundreds of others. It reminds me what’s possible in the work I do… and why aiming low is such a sad choice (for those of us fortunate enough to have choices).

I Thank The Production Fairy for my current lighting cameraman, Graham, who is an experienced pro and has the interviews looking their best ever. That is not to say that I am any less thankful for my other two camera people this year, Ed and Heather, who also kicked ass. But there is a certain thrill to know that the guy who is key to what the talent looks like knows exactly what he’s doing in every circumstance.

My Thanks Hardly Have To Be Spoken Out Loud to the team that makes MCN go, year in and year out. This year, that group includes the folks as Santa Fe Web Design, who built (and continue to build) the new site. I am happy to still have Kim Voynar on board, after six months or so of some serious concerns about her health. I think Mike Wilmington is doing some of his best work with us. Gary Dretzka and Len Klady have been with us from nearly the start, 8 years and a month ago. Noah and Andrea and bears, oh my! Can’t forget the Gurus, who put up with being prodded weekly for answers that they are going to get grilled over for months each year. Laura has been my partner in this from the start and is now the keeper of Film Docket as well. And at the heart of the machine, knocking out those Curated Headlines every day, is Ray Pride… and I know what that work is like, having done it mostly on my own for the first years of the site’s existence.

I Thank the festivals out there for trying so hard to make it work in a difficult economic time. The model is evolving again. And we in the media expect our asses to be well kissed. I miss going to film festivals like I used to… 5 or 6 movies a day… staying up until all hours to get in reviews of everything. 3 or 4 interviews a day means a minimum of a 12 hour commitment, especially if distributors and producers are being cautious with pre-fest screenings. For all the work that I can complain about, however, there is still the experience of new film, challenging film, and possibility. Just a couple of years ago, I remember Melissa Leo pushing journalists she already knew to go see this little movie she did called Frozen River. The film didn’t become an event at the festival. But with a distributor that believed in the film, she would be at The Oscars just a year later, nominated for Best Actress. Every film you walk into offers that kind of possibility. Most, obviously, don’t deliver on it, but when they do…

I Thank Whatever Deity There May Or May Not Be for my longevity in this business. I have seen people go from assistants to department heads, junior execs to division presidents, and everything in between. There have been plenty of people coming and going. Good people succeed and so do bad people. Sometimes they fail. It’s not random, but it’s all so random. The people I adore, I find, don’t change any more than those who I do not. I am less amused or blase’ about suffering in both the media and the film industry, even if it seems “deserved.” Have I grown up? I don’t know. Plenty of people my age who have been around just as long who are still pretty gleeful about the losses of others. At some point, for all the ego involved with writing on the web and expecting someone to give a damn, you just realize it’s not about you.

Of Course, My Heart Thanks The Boy. Mr. Perfect. The one for whom everything is still possible. The one who doesn’t even understand that he is asking, but for whom the answer is, for now, always “yes.” He’ll be a year old in just a few weeks. And every day with him is a gift beyond definition. And The Wife. I’m a lucky man.

I Thank all of you who take this journey with me, every day or every week or every once in a while. A few of you are commenters. Most of you are not. But your willingness to pick around my eclectic interests and repeated drum beating on certain issues and stupid jokes in order to engage with the ideas that I think are worth discussing is a gift to me. And I thank you. I would not still be doing it without you, though I would never want to do it if I had to be someone else to keep you coming.

And I Am Thankful That I still truly love this stuff. I can still be transported by a movie in a way unlike almost anything else. There really are no people like show people. And that juxtaposition between art and commerce is endlessly fascinating to me. There are so many frustrations and I am still trying to find the perfect balance. But a conversation or a performance or just a knowing smile from a friend can remind me that it is all worth it.

Thanks.

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