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David Poland

By David Poland

BYOB 111611 (Update: Now NSFW)

It’s been a long week… and it’s getting longer.

Taking my bi-annual junket trip (thanks, Paramount and Focus) to NYC to shoot a big batch of DP/30s this weekend. (The last studio-paid junket trip I was on was Searchlight’s trip to London for The Fantastic Mr. Fox.) Not only do I expect to be shooting a load of Oscar nominees, but I have one one my all-time top 10 wanna-gets on my schedule. It’s not Scorsese…but close. I’m very excited.

Meanwhile, we shot on Monday and had 4 interviews on Tuesday and another 3 on Wednesday. Busy, but good.

And with that, no more excuses… for a while…

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95 Responses to “BYOB 111611 (Update: Now NSFW)”

  1. LexG says:

    Where’s all the BREAKING DAWN coverage? I don’t just mean here, I mean on any movie review site; It had its premiere, it can’t be embargoed, surely people have seen it… where are all the reviews?

  2. LexG says:

    Don’t everybody answer all at once…

    Seriously, what happened to this blog? MCN is still firing and I know DP loves doing the interviews and has moved away from straight blogging to the DP/30 stuff, but how come nobody’s ever on here at night? It’s like the jesse/JKill/Paul MD funhouse during the day which is fun, but after 8pm this place is sparser than a Tuesday matinee of THE COUCH TRIP in its second week in theaters.

  3. berg says:

    the night I went to see Couch Trip my Ford Econoline van broke down blocks away from the theater

  4. LexG says:

    HAHAHAHAHA if that’s true, it’s easily the best/funniest thing I’ve heard tonight. COUCH TRIP POWER.

    My local Vons, in its wack-ass DVD bin, has a copy of Aykroyd/Hackman in LOOSE CANNONS for FOUR BUCKS. I saw this movie in theaters TWICE for some reason when I was in high school. Someone should do an essay on the TOTAL weirdness of heyday Aykroyd– Doctor Detroit, Great Outdoors, Caddyshack II, Couch Trip, Nothing But Trouble… the man is a GENIUS but wow can that comic energy go awry.

  5. JS Partisan says:

    I adore the Coach Trip and Loose Cannons. Seriously, they got me through some bad times with their hilarity. Good times, man. Good times.

    Lex, your answer about Breaking Dawn is simple: you have to watch the morning shows for the coverage due to the sites you frequent most likely featuring folks who don’t care about the Twilight movies.

  6. LexG says:

    I will never understand why film guys don’t like TWILIGHT, when it’s every bit as good as Star Wars or LOTR and is one of the most important pop culture events of the day…


  7. GexL says:

    ‘What happened to this blog?’

    I’d NEVER ask a question to which I did not already have the answer.

  8. Paul MD (Stella's Boy) says:

    Stewart is indeed a great actress. She has done excellent work in almost everything I’ve seen her in. Twilight isn’t her best performance (and I have only seen the first one). I found Twilight to be like a Syfy Channel movie with a budget. Cheesy effects, unintentional goofiness, not exactly stellar writing, wooden acting (Pattinson is really quite awful), and extra helpings of earnestness. I enjoyed it for the same reasons I enjoy (some) Syfy Channel movies. I’ll get around to watching the rest of the series someday. Breaking Dawn sounds a little bonkers, in a good way, based on a plot description of the book I read once.

  9. JKill says:

    I think I’ve mentioned this here before but the Stewart haters make no sense to me. Between THE RUNAWAYS and ADVENTURELAND alone, I think her talent is hard to deny. (WELCOME TO THE REILLYS is in my instant queue, and I plan on watching it soon…)

    I haven’t seen it in probably 14 years, but I liked LOOSE CANNONS, although I was a fan of pretty much every buddy action-comedy like THE HARD WAY, BULLETPROOF, DOWNTOWN, ect.

  10. jesse says:

    Yeah, Lex, you know, I would be all about a sci-fi/fantasy/horror series that’s a little girlier and more relationship-based than LOTR or even my beloved Star Wars (love the prequels but even I admit that the romance angle of them is cutely stupid at best)… but Twilight doesn’t do it for me. I go see each one to sort of keep up with that stuff, and in hopes that one will actually be cool, because I like K-Stew and vampires and werewolves… but I keep getting let down. I was particularly annoyed after hearing that Eclipse was a STEP UP from the norm and more exciting and better-directed than the first two, and finding out it was more of the same plus a really deflated battle with an “army” of like ten people scuffling for a few minutes. Occasionally there’s some nice camp or something awesome from Anna Kendrick but even the most watered down Tim Burton movie has more weirdness or coolness or striking visuals than the drab overcast soap of Twilight.

    I’m actually kind of excited about Breaking Dawn, though, because I know all the plot points and this one seems to actually have them (to the point where I have no idea how they make Part Two into its own movie… sounds like it’ll be the Harry Potter twosome reversed, where Part One was seen as sort of an anticlimactic slow build and Part Two was seen as awesome nonstop action climax etc. Although actually, I preferred Part One, because it felt a little more moody and spontaneous. I doubt the same will happen with Breaking Dawn Part Two)… wedding, fucking, birth… I mean, in a regular movie that would be like 35 minutes of screentime, but for a Twilight, I’ll take it. So I’m bummed that I’m going out of town tonight — missing the NYC screening AND missing my friends going to see it: My wife and a couple of our friends are getting some of that Sofia Coppola champagne in a can and making a party of it.

    You know what’s weird? I admit, sometimes I laugh out loud at these movies. But I’ve mostly been in theaters where other people, even fans (presumably), were laughing, because they sort of get that it’s cheesy but they love it… sort of half laughing at, half laughing with. But when I saw New Moon, the girls behind us were muttering about how we were laughing too much… while also spending a fair amount of time talking about how flat Kristen Stewart’s ass is. So I guess we were being super disrespectful by laughing at a silly movie; they were being more reverent by picking at K-Stew’s body.

  11. bulldog68 says:

    Can’t help but feel that Relativity saw the Snow White and the Huntsman trailer and decided they had to do something. Mirror Mirror looks like Tarsem was channeling Disney, and it looks no better than a Movie of the Week. It reminds me of Cinderella with Whitney Houston, Whoopi Goldberg and Brandi from a few years ago. Throw in Ella Enchanted and blend for 10 secs and you get this.

    Charlize Theron looks way more menacing, even though I like the looks of Lily Collins more. (Sorry Lex.) The Huntsman for the win in my book.

    But then Mirror is being released first, and it’s more family oriented, and I see five to thirteen year old girls eating this up like Disney’s Tangled. So it can still win the box office showdown.

  12. sanj says:

    some dude found some new energy…and the government is stopping it.

    THRIVE: What On Earth Will It Take?

  13. David Poland says:

    Lex – This site has always tended to be industry-heavy… not a high percentage of of civilians or kids… and it slows down late at night and on most weekends.

    I guess there used to be a late shift of commenters, but I guess my push to not have the big fights in here – and the exit of some of the fighters and the lack of your binges – meant taking those battles elsewhere.

    Sorry it’s not as fun for you, but I am happier without the weekly dust ups.

    And happy that Leah is back.

  14. jesse says:

    The internet generally seems meh-to-annoyed regarding the Mirror, Mirror trailer, but I dunno, apart from a couple of really dumb jokes, I thought it looked neat. I like that Tarsem is doing a 180 from the blood and guts from Immortals (which I also enjoyed) and doing the sillier, poppier version. Hopefully it’s more Tangled than Shrek.

    It really is like the two studios took Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, and divided up the cartoonier/sillier stuff and the lady-empowering battle stuff, and made entire Snow White movies based on those halves. Kind of strange, but maybe they can coexist. I’ve already forgotten the director of Snow White and the Huntsman, though it does look pretty cool.

  15. storymark says:

    ” I was particularly annoyed after hearing that Eclipse was a STEP UP from the norm and more exciting and better-directed than the first two, and finding out it was more of the same plus a really deflated battle with an “army” of like ten people scuffling for a few minutes.”

    So, soooo agree with this. Ive given all the Twilight films a shot, hoping to like them. And while I don’t hate them, they’re just so goddamned boring. But I had heard Eclipse stepped things up, so I went in optimistic – and found it to be the worst so far.

    I’ll borrow Breaking Dawn on DVD from some teenager in the spring, but Im not paying money for ticket, no way.

  16. sanj says:

    3 minute comedy video

    It’s hard being famous – k3llci

  17. Gus says:

    Lex, if it makes you feel any better, I can no longer read headlines like “Breaking Dawn begins its overseas bow” without hearing “YOU WILL BOW” in my head.

  18. hcat says:

    Skin white as snow, hair black as night, eyebrows thick as bramble.

    Wasn’t that thrilled with the Huntsman trailer since I am not a big fan of the slow motion jumping through the air sword fighting that seems to be the rage, but that looks 100 percent better than this Epic Movie take on Snow White. Terrible terrible hokey jokes and Roberts reads her lines like she’s auditioning for a 90s era Batman villian. Its obviously meant for more of the kiddie crowd but how often does that just give filmmakers an excuse to be lazy.

    And why the hell does Hollywood not have any good roles for Nathan Lane? The guy is hilarious and is engaging even in less than stellar movies like Mousehunt, Isn’t She Great, and Loves Labour Lost(though I know that has a few supporters here).

  19. sanj says:

    looks like cop show prime suspect on nbc is cancelled .

    that means Maria Bello can go back and do films and have a small indie film DP will really really like and sometime next year she finally gets a dp/30.

    she did her best acting in Coyote Ugly which is like 10 years ago.

  20. movieman says:

    Apparently I’m the only one who prefers the “Mirror, Mirror” trailer to the one for “Huntsman.”
    I thought “MM” looked like a certifiable hoot, and I enjoyed watching J. Roberts cut loose. She doesn’t get enough credit for being a gifted farceur.
    The fact that it’s directed by Tarsem–and of course, looks frigging
    gorgeous–is merely icing on the cake.
    “Hunts” looked fairly generic to me, and I’ve never heard of the director.
    Plus, Theron’s British accent grated like fingernails on a blackboard.
    Hemsworthy looks suitably hunky, though.
    Have to say “H” gave me (snooze) “Red Riding Hood” vibes whereas “MM” seemed more of a live-action “Tangled.”

  21. JS Partisan says:

    Terrible hokey jokes? No, you unfunny cretins, it’s called SILLY! THEY ARE SILLY JOKES! Silliness really just drops like the proverbial lead balloon with folks on the net, but Mirror Mirror looks like a fun romp for the kids. Which, you know, is the POINT OF A FAMILY MOVIE!

    Snow White and the Huntsman is a freaking trilogy for god’s sake. Mirror Mirror, one movie, with some awesome little fellows from Pit Boss in it.

    That aside, dudes discussing Twilight films always makes me chuckle. Always good for a laugh but this film will probably be the only other 100m dollar opening weekend of the year, and that’s pretty damn impressive given how female driven it is.

    Now, I hope the Hunger Games movies work for the “I AM A MAN” bunch on the net, so there won’t be another female driven franchise that gets shit on by those befuddled buggers.

  22. Paul MD (Stella's Boy) says:

    The Hunger Games trailer got me interested in seeing it, whereas before seeing the trailer I was pretty ambivalent about it. Looks very interesting. And I can’t speak for everyone but I have no problem whatsoever with female-driven franchises. I’m looking forward to Mirror Mirror and Snow White + the Huntsman. I’m glad they are so different from one another (at least they appear to be).

  23. berg says:

    Steve Jobs the Lost Interview opens today

    “It’s a disease thinking a great idea is 90-percent of the work”

  24. leahnz says:

    “Plus, Theron’s British accent grated like fingernails on a blackboard.”

    indeed, movieman

    (also, ‘mirror, mirror’ looks kinda hilarious, who knew it was a comedy? looks far more intriguing than the ‘snow white was really a BADASS WARRIOR don’t you know!’ one with ten-wart, snooze)

    oh and the line, ‘of course her skin is perfect, it’s never seen the sun’ or something to that effect made me think perhaps madame pince had a hand in the writing

  25. leahnz says:

    you missed one sanj

    (i’m a fan of leo so i don’t feel bad seeing the mickey taken so humorously)

  26. movieman says:

    Welcome back, Leah!
    Gotta say that my only worry about “Mirror, Mirror” is also its greatest selling point: Tarsem.
    None of his previous films–true, he’s only made three–have evinced much of a sense of humor.
    But if the trailer is any indication, this could be a sunnier, funnier Tarsem.

  27. leahnz says:

    cheers. ha, yes, that tarsem, what a card (my boy really wanted to see ‘immortals’ but it’s R16 here so no dice, bummer, looks like blu-ray for him). but the ‘mirror’ trailer makes it look like a bit of a hoot. now if i can just convince micheal fassbender to utilise his irresistible impish humour and make a balls-out comedy for a change (preferably here, the comedy capital of the world…), all would be right with the world

  28. movieman says:

    Yeah, Fassbender is somebody who definitely needs to lighten up, Leah.
    When was the last time he even smiled in a movie? “Basterds” maybe?

  29. leahnz says:

    i think he cracked one in ‘x-men babies’…maybe, i’d have to watch it again

  30. hcat says:

    When he was recruiting that mutant in the Gentleman’s Club he was beaming a wide devilsh grin.

  31. movieman says:

    Which reminds me of Colin Farrell: another actor who I like very much that never seems to have as much fun on film as he (apparently) does in real life.
    I could never understand why he never made a (hopefully above average) romantic comedy. When I first heard that he was teaming with Keira Knightley, I thought, well, maybe…maybe this time. They certainly make a photogenic couple. But “London Boulevard” ain’t nobody’s idea of a rom-com, lol.

  32. sanj says:

    just watched DP/30: Rango, director Gore Verbinski

    just found it boring interview.

    there should be one other person doing animation dp/30 and another person doing horror dp/30.

    DP don’t have time to watch these types of movies. he always goes for the oscar winners .

    my favorite interviewer is Stephen Colbert. he’s never boring .

    watch Colbert sing …

  33. yancyskancy says:

    The MIRROR MIRROR trailer makes it look like silly fun for, you know, kids of all ages. I don’t get some of the hate going around. I also don’t get why some people seem to put as much thought into reviewing a trailer as they do a complete film.

    I will say that we need a moratorium on “Say hello to my little friend” as a punch line.

  34. LexG says:

    Fassbender’s a douche. TEAM WORTHINGTON. If Sam Worthington made a movie with Kristen Stewart, I wouldn’t know who to whack off to more.

  35. hcat says:

    Don’t know how much effort we are putting into reviewing the trailer. Just giving initial thoughts and if there was ever a place to do it wouldn’t this site be ideal?

    As for the hate, obviously different people get excited about different things. Its certainly not out of line to say what irks me about the trailer, as long as I’m not calling anyone an idiot for liking it.

  36. JKill says:

    Fassbender rules! Since he’s dropped on the scene, even in stuff like BLOOD CREEK, he’s been magnetic and exciting. I love him, and I haven’t yet seen (because I’m a civilian) either the new Cronenberg or SHAME.

    MIRROR, MIRROR is not what I was expecting, but it has my interest. Like others here, I’m there because of Tarsem, and I was really charmed by how it appears to be shot on actual sets instead of green sceens, which automatically sets it apart from Burton’s ALICE (which I’ll admit I STILL haven’t got around to seeing…).

    I personally think THE HUNTSMAN looks quite cool, and while, yes, it has a LOTR/NARNIA vibe, there really aren’t that many of those type of movies released every year for me to be burnt out on them. The two Snow Whites look different enough that I think there’s room for both of them.

  37. hcat says:

    Meh, Worthington’s good in action roles (not like he has much competition in the Cera generation), but Fassbender has a lot more range and depth as an actor.

  38. LexG says:

    I want to go down to the Grauman’s now that K-Stew’s hands and FEEEEEEEEEEET are immortalized in cement and when nobody’s looking whip out my dick and put it right in the footprint. YOU MAY ARREST ME, YOU MAY TAZE ME, but for two glorious seconds my dick WILL be in that cement.


  39. LexG says:

    WORTHINGTON IS GOD and WIPES THE FLOOR with that sour firecrotch Dickbender, with his NO HUMOR and FRECKLES and RED HAIR, HE HAS RED HAIR, how you gonna defend that? We have one David Caruso, that uses up all the Cool Guy W Red Hair energy in the universe. Nobody knows or cares about Fassbender except movie critics. He’s BORING, he looks like KIM COATES if Kim Coates wasn’t awesome, he’s OVERRATED, Worthington is a ZILLION TIMES better looking and COOLER and when you’re watching SAM THE MAN on screen you’re like, LOOK AT HIM! and he’s totally THE GUY you want to be. Fassbender’s a snore.

  40. Paul MD (Stella's Boy) says:

    I really like Fassbender and Worthington a lot. Both are A-OK with me. Jade Power.

  41. JKill says:

    Don’t get me wrong: I dig Worthington too. He’s one of the rare people who has both dramatic and action chops. I don’t know if anyone saw LAST NIGHT, which was a smaller film he was in with Keira Knightley, but that film and THE DEBT solidified by Worthington affection. Also, I go totally against the internet hater grain, in that I think he is perfect and iconic in AVATAR.

    But Fassbender is still the shit, awesome looking, and a God. His filmography in the last couple of years is uber-impressive, and he’s kind of the male Carey Mulligan in how dedicated he seems to be to working with awesome auteurs.

  42. LexG says:

    I hear he has a giant dick, too.


  43. LexG says:

    I have a small penis. I know Poland’s about to cringe and put me on moderation, but hear me out: I am interested in seeing this Fassbender dong in SHAME, because people keep saying it’s big as it just flops about casually. What is this about?

    My dick, when not erect, retreats back inward and is basically like one inch. Maybe a half inch. And since I’ve never dated a proper white woman who likes to fuck, I’ve never been trained how to manscape my junk, so this turtle head retreats into a see of pubes that looks like the jungle from Cannon’s Platoon Leader.

    So I don’t understand this phenomenon where guys have a dick that HANGS. Like when they talk about penises, they act like it’s like hot dog shaped thing that just rests at a downward angle. Mine’s super small and when I piss at a urinal it comes straight out in a line and splashes all over the place. But I think the Fassbenders of the world, it’s a dog that just flops out and downward.

    When I get erect, which is rarer and rarer these days thanks to my heart condition, alcoholism and depression, it’s like a SEMI-ON, but even then it’s like four inches hard. So are you telling me Fassbender’s does that thing where it’s nine inches limp? What do those guys do when they get boners? Does it just RISE UP? It doesn’t extend?

    I want to hire a prostitute just to explain my penis to me.

  44. HideTheKids says:

    [Can’t believe I’m about to do this…]

    Jason Segel addressed this when doing nudity for Forgetting Sarah Marshall. He said he’d fluff it to that midpoint stage, where it’s still just hanging but it’s only a dirty thought or two from rising.

    And from my experience, the rising and extending are proportional. I’m probably 2.5″ flaccid (non-swimming days), but during the process, once the hardness gets to about 5 inches, it starts to rise, and full (6.5) it’s raised at about a 50-degree angle.

    It all depends I guess. I was helping my 90-something-year-old grandfather go to the bathroom a couple months ago and accidentally caught a glimpse and almost did a double-take. “Why wasn’t I blessed with THAT?”

    Are we sure Fassbender didn’t get the Dr. Manhattan treatment?

  45. EthanG says:

    Off topic…but I’m pretty shocked Disney has not made a final push for “The Lion King” to send it past “Pirates 2” as the biggest Disney film ever. The film is about $1.1 million away domestically. Overall you’d think the company would want to advertise Lion King as their “most succesful film” over Pirates 2.

  46. movieman says:

    Ethan- “Lion King” is just beginning its run in buck houses.
    With the holidays (and school vacations) soon upon us, it just might very well be able to rack up that missing $1.1-million you alluded to.
    Fingers crossed.

  47. LexG says:

    More penis stories, please. I want to know how other peoples’ function.

    More generally, I don’t know why I’m continually surprised that movie blog people don’t talk like Howard Stern or Dice about sex and vag and dicks and stuff like that… I always figured everyone who circles around movies or writing about movies would be these bawdy, horny, comedian-type guys all drunk and talking smack… Everyone’s in actuality so damn uptight. In this thread alone I’ve scored two zingers– the cement story and my dick– that I’ve been hitting refresh all day waiting for the hosannahs… but nothing. It’s like you guys have NO SENSE OF HUMOR.

    I want to know how big everyone’s dick is, compared to mine. Be a man and fess up.

  48. sanj says:

    LexG – have you seen the new tv show – Dave’s Old Porn on showtime… he shows old adult films with comics ..

  49. JS Partisan says:

    You mean some folks have penises that don’t just hang there? Huh. You were something every day.

  50. LexG says:

    Not when it’s limp. When it’s limp it RETRACTS and there’s just a head. The rest is shriveled/goes inward.

    I blame my mom for making me wear SKIN TIGHT BRIEFS my entire childhood and adolescence.

    Sanj, I want to see it because Dave Atell is one of the only funny comics in the world. He was on Leno last week hitting on K-Stew (badly), and it was really funny and amazingly she seemed to play along and be a good sport about it… It was basically exactly the life I wish I had, being a tubby comic flirting with K-Stew on talk shows.

    Instead I get to transcribe old David Lean movies for 80 bucks a day. Woo fucking hoo.

  51. sanj says:

    LexG – you can listen to Dave Atell podcsst –

    it’s 1 hour audio .

    also are some actors / directors so special that if they haven’t done a dp/30 in at least a year they won’t do one unless DP calls them up …like do actors ever call up
    DP ? some actors are smart and take advantage and do as many as possible and you know promote the movies ..
    some that should up once don’t care about DP and his little web show…they are actors and they fake it through
    the whole interview.

  52. berg says:

    re: penis in Shame …. there is actually more cock in Hangover 2, however, I am convinced that Fassbender was stroking it, making it angry and waiting for McQueen to yell ACTION …. so when he walks into the camera frame yes it is semi hard and hanging down halfway to his knees …. you know what, every penis just waits for a very cold day and you wake up and it’s been sucked into your abdomen

  53. chris says:

    Hear, hear, berg. The dick thing has been written about way out of proportion to its presence in the film.
    Weird juxtaposition: This morning, I was reading Variety’s Facts on Pacts thingamajig, saw that James Brooks had a deal at Columbia, and thought, “Really? Still?” Um, nope, apparently not.

  54. chris says:

    Also, I’m kinda shocked that this is the best Bill Condon can do with a “Twilight” film. He’s the best filmmaker they’ve had but it might be the worst of the four films.

  55. berg says:

    K STEW drinks blood out of a styrofoam cup – with a straw

  56. Krillian says:

    I think Ken Jeong holds the current trophy for tiniest member display from The Hangover.

  57. Glamourboy says:

    This video pretty much sums up why I think “K-Stew” is one of the worst actresses out there….

  58. Glamourboy says:

    And while I’m in the neighborhood…am I the only one that hates the dumbing down of celebrity’s names? Is it really that difficult to say their full name? I shudder to think that by today’s standards, Myrna Loy could have been My-Lo, or John Wayne, Jo-Way or Katherine Hepburn would have been K-Hep. Argggggggg.

  59. Krillian says:

    I feel G-boy’s pain.

  60. LexG says:

    Mine is smaller than Ken Jeong’s.

  61. LexG says:

    HEY-OOOO… Anyone seen the new trailers for New Year’s Eve?

    Can I get an amen on a Moretz-level countdown clock for what’s her face from Little Miss Sunshine? When did THAT happen?

  62. scooterzz says:

    kind of amazing that someone who recently took me to task for leaving an innocuous comment on a friend’s gay porn site is now soliciting (actually, begging) people to talk about his tiny dick… i’m thinkin’ our resident loudmouth is about as hetro as J. EDGAR….

  63. LexG says:

    That wasn’t me who “took you to task,” it was someone else, and I didn’t even understand the “gotcha” on that or what the big deal was. All other bullshit aside, that absolutely wasn’t me who looked that up (nor was I the guy who accused you of being a certain junket guy)… whatever our differences, that genuinely WAS NOT me.

    And at this point I’m ASEXUAL… But I did want people to explain the dick thing to me, because I received the quality level of sex ed that your average Latino teen with six kids receives… I don’t get the dick hang/retract shower-grower thing at all, and wanted someone to explain it.

    If I were a big closet case, I’d talk about it freely because it would be interesting and another character trait to make things all about ME, but unfortunately for you, scoot, I’m pretty straight…. other than hitting up trannies on Chat Roulette.

  64. scooterzz says:

    oh, please…you are one sick ticket if you stand by that ‘that wasn’t me’ statement….we’ve all been reading this shit for a looooooong time…
    and my J.EDGAR remark was a direct refrernce to asexuality….

  65. LexG says:

    It was THB regular “dietcock,” the porn site thing, wasn’t it? He posted the gotcha under his own account. It wasn’t a fucking CHAMBER MYSTERY, dude.

  66. scooterzz says:

    no, sport…it was the ever hypocritical you…and, i can’t believe you’re being such a bitch about it…

  67. LexG says:

    Uh, it really wasn’t.

  68. scooterzz says:

    and, i suppose you stand by your statement that you’ve never said anything hateful or called anyone a faggot?

  69. LexG says:

    Wait, WHAT? I don’t know what you’re referring to with that one, but I am telling you this NOW and you will HEAR IT NOW and you can choose to believe whatever’s rattling around in your paranoid head, but these are FACTS:

    1) I didn’t look up any comments of yours on a gay site. Why would I? What’s the shocker revelation there? That you’re gay? Who cares? Plus I use my computer for work and I’m scared shitless of adult sites, gay or straight– I didn’t even go to whatever this “comment” was, it wasn’t me, I know who it was, and I don’t care what stupid comments you leave anywhere… YES, there’ve been times when I’ve wondered and ask who the fuck you are, mostly because YOUR WHOLE SHTICK seems to be posting about how bad Jeff looked at a junket or how stupid some question one of your peers asked was, or what a bitch Ryan Murphy was at some junket way back when– you have an oasis of petty bitterness, and YES at times I’ve asked, Who IS this guy that he’s always complaining about me or other critics? But I didn’t do that GOTCHA here about your gay site comments, I am pretty positive it was Dietcock. I wouldn’t out somebody else’s shtick, but since you’re accusing me relentlessly of something I DIDN’T DO, fuck it, I’m telling you who it was.

    2) I didn’t do that thing where someone posted as “Mike Reynolds, Junketeer,” which you also accused me of. IT WASN’T ME, I don’t know who that guy is, somebody posted it and I riffed on it.

    3) I don’t even remember my point… But if part of your repeated and endless dislike of me is this paranoid witch hunt, you have THE WRONG MAN. Why would I lie? I call you names and basically despise you, but I’m honest when I’m trolling you or ragging on you… If I were doing some skullduggerous shit, why would that be the ONE THING I’d be all sheepish and secretive about? I think you’re a douche and a WHACK JOB, but I won’t be accused of DOING THINGS I DIDN’T DO, THAT IS A FACT…

    4) … So in the interest of FULL DISCLOSURE, I HAVE asked who you are in a general sense, like “who the fuck is THIS guy?” just because you’re SO relentlessly nutty and hostile toward me; I emailed, privately, both Jeff Wells and Poland with an offhanded, “Hey, who is this Scooterzz guy? He says he’s at all the junkets, he’s kinda weird, etc.” BOTH guys didn’t even respond, didn’t even acknowledge the emails, they went totally unanswered. I asked the same thing generally on Twitter, and Kris Tapley, the lone respondent, merely said that you couldn’t be anybody of importance. I have no idea who the fuck you are and no longer care. But I wish you’d stop threatening me and accusing me of things I don’t do.


  70. scooterzz says:

    and, with that answer, you are certifiably insane…

  71. LexG says:

    100% honest on every point, you crazy old motherfucker.


  72. scooterzz says:

    no hate here, right?

    LexG says:
    September 5, 2011 at 5:51 am


    Have fun doing lines off bitches’ tits why your ugly kids cry themselves to sleep at daycare wondering why their closet faggot father doesn’t love them.

  73. LexG says:

    While I’m at it, why don’t I just ACCUSE YOU of shit you probably didn’t do… Maybe you’re the nutjob who emails Wells threats about payola and “That’s not a threat, old man, that’s a promise” and how you know who I am and where I am. Why don’t I just accuse you of being THAT guy, long as you’re throwing around accusations of “insanity”?

    Who ARE you anyway? Some life you have to look back on, eh? I’m 100% real and you’re a sniveling psycho weird old man who’s done nothing with his life, “scooterzz.”

    Stop accusing me of shit I didn’t do. Asshole.

  74. LexG says:

    Alright, I did post that, it’s kinda funny.

  75. scooterzz says:

    see, that’s part of the problem…no, it’s not….and, now i’m not accussing you of things you didn’t do…I’M ACCUSSING YOU OF DOING THINGS YOU DON’T REMEMBER…fucking drunk…

  76. LexG says:

    What things? The gay porn site? NOT ME.

    The Mike Reynolds thing. NOT ME.

    Absolutely NOT. I even told you who one of those two things was… It wasn’t me.

    DOUCHE. I’d get on YOUTUBE this very second under my own face looking bloated and ugly calling you out. GUARANTEE you wouldn’t post your face or name ANYWHERE ON EARTH with the shit you’re talking.

    You’re a crazy old loser. Please go away. Have a nice night, bitch.

  77. LexG says:

    Oh, before I go, just humor me ’cause you know I’m hitting refresh for at least another 20 minute with my narcissistic ass:

    What are some things you think I “don’t remember”? I’m all ears, mr. lowercase…jus’ sayin’…

    I wanna hear some more crazy accusations. So are you honestly saying that LexG and not DIETCOCK was the one who linked to whatever your comment on a “gay site” was, which I’ve still never seen?

  78. scooterzz says:

    omg!…it gets better:
    LexG says:
    September 5, 2011 at 5:51 am


    Have fun doing lines off bitches’ tits why your ugly kids cry themselves to sleep at daycare wondering why their closet faggot father doesn’t love them.

    Jeffrey Boam’s Doctor says:
    September 5, 2011 at 5:54 am
    Goodnight Sweet Prince.

    LexG says:
    September 5, 2011 at 5:57 am
    Figured, no credits, no link.

    BIG PRODUCER. Producer of coke straws and cum for women who aren’t your wife/

    I WOULD GUARAN FUCKING TEE you cheat on your wife, if you have one, and NEGLECT YOUR FUCKING UGLY CHILDREN, who I hope grow up to get RAPED BY AN NBA TEAM

  79. LexG says:

    Also how many IDs you got on H-E, Mr. Schizophrene?

    Pathetic thing is, you’re probably sitting up at your computer desk in NoHo with your husband sawing logs behind you wishing you’d come to bed, but you’re rubbing your hands at the prospect of someone on the Internet taking your bait. Aren’t you like 60? At least I’m HONEST and talk about my lack of sack and my lot in life… You’re a zillion times more pathetic and OLD and DESPERATE and OVER than I am, yet you front like some big tough guy on the Web. So meaningless. Such an OLD loser.

  80. LexG says:

    Wow, you really got me there, Skippy. Did I really say “why your ugly kids…” instead of “while your ugly kids”? Christ I must’ve been more wasted than you on poppers with a dildo up your ass.

    Go suck your houseboy’s cock and get off the fucking internet, tool. Please die soon, you’re certainly old enough.

  81. LexG says:


    Way to dispel those stereotypes, Mr. Catty Queen.

  82. scooterzz says:

    well, those weren’t desperate posts at all…were they?

  83. LexG says:


    I like you think you have some moral high ground, yet of course Captain Showtune himself (Poland) will blow in here at 9am tomorrow and delete all MY posts and none of yours, then email me some terse warning.


  84. scooterzz says:

    so, listen here, sport…i can pull up a few more of your despicable, hateful quotes or we can just call it a night…your call fat boy with the teeny dick (that you looooove talking about)….

  85. LexG says:

    Post some pics of yourself, old fuck. Or your dick.

    I want to see it, SCOOTERZZ. SHOW ME YOUR COCK. I WANT TO SEE YOUR GLORIOUS 15 INCH WANG, plus some pics of how SVELTE you are…

    Oh, I forgot, you’re an old pussy hiding behind some tough-guy shtick, “fat boy.” Yeah, I bet you’re lean as a strip steak, at age 71 with ten loads of cum filling that fat belly with all the protein a dying boy needs.


  86. LexG says:

    Hope I gave you enough to masturbate to, you so clearly want my dick. Keep fantasizing about me…

    I imagine you as looking like Brother Theodore.

    How close is that? Oh, no, never mind, you’re a Brad Pitt looking golden god, Mr. I WAS MARRIED IN 1971, yeah you’re not old, antiquated and ON YOUR WAY OUT THE DOOR, not at all. How OLD ARE YOU?

  87. scooterzz says:

    “What do you win? Hopefully it’s a MAN!”

    just celebrated our 25th anniversary…someything your sorry, hateful life will NEVER do…jus’ sayin’…

  88. film fanatic says:

    In defense of Lex, If my memory serves, I believe the post in question that Scooterzz is accusing Lex of having written was actually posted not by Lex but by THB commenter “Nikki Whisperer” who went AWOL afterwards. Since Scooterzz seems to be able to call up old posts rather easily, it shouldn’t be hard for him to verify this. So, in this case, at least, I believe Lex is in the right, Scooterzz has unfairly accused him and an apology is in order. Fair is fair, after all. As for the shitstorm that has bubbled up in subsequent posts, that’s another matter entirely….

    Also, btw, Happy Anniversary Scooterzz. Sincerely. 25 years is nothing to sneeze at.

  89. scooterzz says:

    lex’s horrible remarks to anghus are on record…his often denials are all part of the game…as the rock-man said, ‘you see what you want to see and you hear what yoy want to hear’..

  90. LexG says:

    ANGHUS? ANGHUS? What are you on about NOW? Are you just in some blissed-out synthetic drug wonderland making wanton accusations all night in a total haze? Anghus is on here day and night, and will probably GLADLY tell you he ain’t threatened or offended by anything I’ve ever said to him, except maybe the time I said he looked like John Bunnell.

    Maybe tomorrow you can pull out JKill or Yancyskancy or Wells himself as witnesses to what an alleged total scumbag I am and how much they hate me.

    You’re officially NUTS. You are CRAZY AS FUCK. Dude, go bang your old man and let it GOOOO.

  91. film fanatic says:

    Since we’re dredging up old posts, I found the smoking gun:

    >>nikki whisperer says:
    July 5, 2011 at 12:19 am

    later that day:

    >>David Poland says:
    July 5, 2011 at 11:50 am
    When did this become The Real World?

    Nikki Whisperer is NOT Lex.

    I haven’t done a check lately, but it seems that most everyone is who they say they are or say they avatar these days.

    So, unless you’re accusing Lex of being Nikki Whisperer, Scooterzz, which I don’t think you are, that means he didn’t post the comment in question. Which means you falsely accused him in this instance and owe him an apology. At least for the false accusation. Live by the sword, die by the sword. Case closed.

  92. LexG says:

    D’OOHHHH I’m-a celebrate that ownage with a CRAIGSLIST ESTATE SALE.

  93. David Poland says:

    If all this crap is going down on Wells’ site and/or “a friend’s gay porn site”… why are you wasting my bandwidth with it?

    Or again… when did this become The Real World: Internets?

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon