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David Poland

By David Poland

How Did Bravo Get These Movie Stars To Star In Their New Hair Styling Reality Show?

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24 Responses to “How Did Bravo Get These Movie Stars To Star In Their New Hair Styling Reality Show?”

  1. SamLowry says:

    I’m guessing there was some Photoshopping in this because that guy on the left has a reaaally tall cranium.

  2. JS Partisan says:

    The photoshop used in this poster is so freaking scary, that it’s hilarious they put it out.

  3. LexG says:


  4. LexG says:

    I have a great joke that Poland is GUARANTEED to delete.

    About that not being what I’d want to blow on her tits.

    ZING. Can I get a HEY-OOOOO on that one, JS?

  5. SamLowry says:


  6. waterbucket says:

    MTV: We heard that Justin Bieber wants to do a FEAR remake. How does that sit with you?

    Reese Witherspoon: Great, that’d be cool. Would he be playing me or is he playing Mark Wahlberg??

    — Reese Witherspoon 1, Justin Bieber 0

  7. Edward Wilson says:

    Jules and Jim for the millennials…

  8. anghus says:

    I was curious until I saw this


    That’s a pass.

  9. Krillian says:

    Really hoping Reese says “You’re either in, or you’re out” at some point.

  10. Edward says:

    Must be nice for Reese to be lusted after by two younger men…

  11. LexG says:

    Fucking Poland deleted my awesome joke, just as I said he would.

  12. yancyskancy says:

    Edward: Technically you’re right, but she’s only older than Hardy by about a year and half; three years older than Pratt. Not exactly May/December.

    Lex, I still see your joke up there, unless you’re referring to another one.

    I had never seen Tom Hardy smile until I saw an ad for that series THE TAKE that was running on Starz recently. I thought that one giant tooth of his was a make-up choice for that character, but I think I spotted it again in the trailer for THIS MEANS WAR. Anyone else notice this before? (I haven’t seen BRONSON, TINKER TAILOR or much else; don’t recall noticing in INCEPTION).

  13. LexG says:

    Pine is starting to look like his old man from CHIPS.

    Did that guy have Chris P when he was like 60? I remember Pine Sr being like 70 on CHIPS 30-plus years ago, but Chris was born in 1980.

  14. Paul D/Stella says:

    Jesus H Pine’s head is like 3 feet long.

  15. David Poland says:

    I haven’t deleted anything, Lex.

    And the only work I did on the photo was to add the blow dryers. Chris Pine’s head is not my doing.

  16. Paul D/Stella says:

    I didn’t think it was DP. That is one massive melon.

  17. JS Partisan says:

    Lex, fuck yeah, you get a HIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for that joke. Tremendous sir. Tremendous.

  18. Krillian says:

    Hey, Lex, Robert Pine was younger than you when he started on CHiPS.

    Step away from the ledge.

  19. Gus says:

    I came here to say LOOK AT HER. Lex rightly beat me to it. Still:


    Best Reese look in YEARS. BOW.

  20. cadavra says:

    You wanna talk foreheads, how about Elizabeth Reaser? Girlfriend looks like she’s from Metaluna.

  21. yancyskancy says:

    Metaluna — Is that where Christina Ricci is queen?

  22. Joe Straatmann says:

    “What size skulldome do you wear?”

  23. Rebecca Wang says:

    for real? I must admit, Reese looks fabulous!

  24. SamLowry says:

    Wait, so you’re all suggesting it’s Reese Witherspoon in that picture? Because this seems fashion-related, I just assumed it was Claudia Schiffer.

    If that really is Reese, then she’s pulled a Jennifer Grey, to toss in another Bueller reference, by subjecting herself to such startling alteration that she’s unrecognizable.

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon