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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

BYOB

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79 Responses to “BYOB”

  1. Krillian says:

    This would have been a great week for At the Movies with Christy & Ignatiy to still be on the air.

  2. kbx says:

    Andrew Stanton Back for Finding Nemo 2

    Victoria Strouse (2008 Black List script THE APOSTLES OF INFINITE LOVE) writing

    2016 release aimed for

  3. etguild2 says:

    So Stanton is banished back to the animation ghetto, while Brad Bird gets to finally make his pet mega-project on the San Francisco earthquake.

    As much as I love FINDING NEMO…this won’t come out until 2016. Fish aren’t toys, so are they going to focus on Nemo’s descendant, Nemo Amphibious the Tenth or something? Hopefully Dory’s family has a history of mental illness. I have never heard of 13 years passing in the real world, and no time passing on screen….

  4. Anthony says:

    Finally saw Red Tails.

    I can’t remember seeing a more amateur production. Almost everything about this film felt flat and lifeless, bordering on cinematic illiteracy. Video game cutscenes from the mid 90s come to mind. George Lucas was making hay about how the distributors he shopped this to were racists who didn’t trust a film with an all black cast – well maybe they are just racist against shitty movies.

  5. Double D says:

    Love Pixar. Love Stanton. Love Finding Nemo.

    Do not want to see a sequel to Finding Nemo. Ever. Do not want that at all.

    I’m not seeing TDKR until Saturday evening…which means I’ll have to avoid this and every other movie site between Thurs evening and Sunday morning. But it’ll be worth it.

  6. LexG says:

    JOHN CARTER was a REAL MOVIE. And a great one. Why would anyone go back to directing stupid ‘TOONS after making an ACTUAL MOVIE?

  7. Smith says:

    Finding Nemo 2: No Other Options

  8. Triple Option says:

    I was kinda curious to see what kind of damage John Carter would do to the director or anyone else’s career. I would imagine he was attached to projects left and right all over town before it came out. I wonder how many phone calls did his agent not return while waiting for the film to open to see if s/he could hold out for more money or points. I wonder what that first call was like the following Monday morning. I’m sure the agent has a big enough stable of prominent talent to neglect as it is but I wonder if there wasn’t a moment of “D’oh!” when the boxoffice results came out.

    Didn’t see John Carter and only saw the first half of Finding Nemo. I’d say there are worse fates to come off of a bo dud.

  9. LexG says:

    Hey, Poland, I need some extra money, how about offering me a 100 THOUSAND DOLLAR A YEAR, FULL BENEFITS, DIRECT DEPOSIT-EVERY-TWO WEEKS JOB?

    Thanks. Fucking sick of reading reviews by guys like FARACI and GILCHRIST or that CAMP ASIAN HEN Yam Jenato, when I AM A BETTER WRITER THAN THEM.

    I am certainly a better writer than DAVID POLAND. I am as good as writer as Terry Southern, Michael O’Donaghue and Hunter Thompson combined, crossed with Bret Easton Ellis, I should be a fucking MILLIONAIRE, but no one will even off me the 100 THOUSAND I *deserve* to write for your wack-ass film websites.

    THE PLAYLIST. I could RUN that shit.

  10. Joe Leydon says:

    Wait, better than Hunter S. Thompson? That’s a bit of a reach, don’t you think?

  11. LexG says:

    No, I’m better.

    I know this in my heart.

  12. Joe Leydon says:

    Just like JSP knows Batman never quits, right?

  13. LexG says:

    I can’t argue back because Rod Lurie Barris will just blow in and ban me again.

  14. David Poland says:

    I don’t care, Lex. Just keep out of the ethnic, sexual, and profane shit.

    And as I have said 3 million times, the only reason you aren’t as good as any of the people you mentioned is because you don’t do the work. Stop whining and write. Pay the price we all paid to do the work, even when there wasn’t a job paying a living wage.

    You know I think you’re talented, but I have no time for backseat drivers.

  15. LexG says:

    Yeah, but my bills are due on the 26th and I owe 3 grand. Writing for free isn’t gonna keep a roof over my head.

    I wrote some memoir shit I thought was semi-funny on a cheap-ass blog, because I don’t know ANYTHING about HTML or anything like that. Like 3 people read them and nobody offered me an agent or a book deal.

    Fuck it.

  16. anghus says:

    I now want a shirt that reads Batman Never Quits. Js needs to open up an etsy store.

  17. Paul D/Stella says:

    I’m really sorry for bringing up something non-movie related here, but I could some help and I’m pretty sure almost everyone here is more tech savvy than I am. Has anyone heard of the nginx! virus? Somehow I got it. No idea how. So when I go to Google and some other sites, I get a “Welcome to Nginx!” greeting and nothing else. Anyone know how I can get rid of it? Thanks in advance.

  18. sanj says:

    hey DP – nearly 3 weeks without some new dp/30’s – when tiff 2012 comes around we are going to get a dozen in a week .

    Paul D – does google site work ? there are several fixes in forums if you just type in ” removie nginx virus” .

    the best thing i saw this week was black dynamite tv series – the first episode was about Michael Jackson . they gave him an origin story that explains a lot. its new – its different – give it a try. adult swim .

    i figure comic con owns and operates Kristen Stewart for 2 more years for twilight … some actors get lucky – if you can make some small group super happy they’ll stick with you . there’s no point for regular movie critics to have access cause there’s at 100 people who
    just want to talk about the same movie over and over.
    this might happen to Jennifer Lawerence …
    them harry potter kids got out and not much happened after.

  19. Aaron Aradillas says:

    Seeing Taylor Kitsch’s forceful performance in SAVAGES just proved to me he should be seeking those kinds of roles instad of trying to become a star with movies like BATTLESHIP and JOHN CARTER. I hope he orders his handlers to find him more scripts like that. The same goes for Lively and Johnson. People are ripping Lively for being BLAKE LIVELY when she clearly gives the performance the movie called for. She was smart to do the movie. Lawrence may have the franchise but does anyone really remember her performance in THE HUNGER GAMES?

  20. anghus says:

    I found Lucas during the Red Tails press stuff to be embarrassing. Cringe worthy moments of a guy so far up his own ass and detached from reality that he sounded like a serial killer.

    That movie sucked. It was awful. And he played the race card. He said the most terrible things about Hollywood not caring about black action films, and kept calling it “the first all back action movie”. Watch his Daily Show interview. John Stewart looks befuddled by the amount of crazy coming his way. It’s mind blowing.

  21. etguild2 says:

    @sanj Loved the “Black Dynamite” premiere. Still the funniest movie of the last few years to me, and they spin it into an even weirder realm pretty well.

    You better believe I am SUPER PSYCHED for RZA’s “The Man With The Iron Fists” Other than “The Master” its what I most want to see this fall. Psyched for the DVD too because the first cut was apparently FOUR HOURS.

  22. JS Partisan says:

    Yeah, you folks can be the only people on the net, not pissed at Batman quitting. Seriously, this movie has a meta critic score in line with “Revenge of the Sith,” and Ebert wanted to hate it. Once the spoilers get out and start to trend on twitter, there goes the weekend even if it works in the film. Batman never quits, but he’d quit you people. God, would he.

  23. anghus says:

    Black Dynamnite was great. And the animated show is a lot of fun. And i’m equally pumped for Man with the Iron Fists. Why do all the best movies of the year come out in September and October?

  24. jesse says:

    JS, honest question: how many people, in millions, do you think read Batman comics regularly, and base their opinion of a movie on that?

    In terms of audience size, isn’t this sort of like saying a Superman movie is in trouble of it doesn’t please fans of the show Smallville?

  25. Foamy Squirrel says:

    Most recent sales of Batman-related comics:

    Rank…Title…………………April….March
    2……Batman……………….130,602..127,414
    3……Justice League………..128,991..131,709
    7……Detective Comics……….87,675…89,899
    8……Batman: the Dark Knight…74,287…75,304
    17…..Batman and Robin……….59,993…61,215
    29…..Nightwing……………..46,857…45,444
    32…..Batwoman………………45,341…46,878
    33…..Batgirl……………….43,990…45,689
    52…..Catwoman………………34,840…35,650

  26. So, Finding Nemo 2 is a punishment for Andrew Stanton?

  27. Christian says:

    We should all be so punished. Crikey.

  28. Aaron Aradillas says:

    The quality of RED TAILS had nothing to do with Hollywood studios turning it down. Hollywood studios are comfortable with Black comedies (Martin Lawrence, Tyler Perry) or pedigreed ensembles (THE HELP, WAITING TO EXHALE). Blacks do not headline action movies without a white coutnerpart (Denzel Washington movies). When we do get all-black action movies they’re usually done on the cheap or in the B movie/exploitation category.

    There’s been a lot of progress in Hollywood, but it is far from enlightened.

  29. Rashad says:

    Lex, you write a lot anyway, so might as well put what you write on the movie sites, and twitter, on a blog. It doesn’t take that long. Most of your best work is actually the shorter observational stuff about movies, critics, etc.

    And quit protecting your twitter.

  30. LexG says:

    Rashad, the locked Twitter is just temporary; Will unlock it in a few weeks.

  31. sanj says:

    i know LexG wants 100,000 to write movie reviews but if you take that up to the highest level – running for president –
    thats some crazy money people ask for .

    Mitt Romney is like give me millions of dollars to become president …and people actually do that.
    he’s got 20 million –

    a nice simple chart of all the money raised –

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundraising_for_the_2012_United_States_presidential_election

  32. LexG says:

    Sanj, if I ran for president, could I count on your vote?

  33. sanj says:

    LexG – sure – you can get K-Stew has your wife / first lady.

    the oscar academy needs a new president – LexG go for that.

  34. Jason B says:

    I actually thought John Carter was not that bad. It wasn’t a great movie, but it wasn’t terrible either. I wonder if that movie would have been better placed at a different time of year. Wonder what a Thanksgiving/Xmas holiday release would have done for it?

    Also, is the TDKR backlash by a majority of critics predictable or what? DP seems to be the one outlier. I dont think raging against the critics should happen and people get their own opinions. But it is interesting to read the reviews where they praise TDK but sour on the sequel. It almost seems like revisionist history with TDK. Even Ebert’s review seemed to reluctantly give it 3 stars. Heck, it read more like a 2 star review than anything.

  35. sanj says:

    there is lots of detail on why ….so heavy on spoilers …

    I Admit It: I Don’t Really Like Christopher Nolan’s Movies All That Much

    Nolan should have had 4 dp/30’s by now – DP needs to use his super movie critic superpowers and get the biggest
    names in the movie business. nothing from hunger games – spiderman – avengers – dark knight rises – battleship –
    big summer movies – big money – no dp/30 .
    – who picks up the pieces ? g4 tv . they got all
    these movies .

  36. etguild2 says:

    @Jason B. Just as strange are the lower ratings that sound like they should be higher. My favorite is Roger Moore, the guy who does like 15 newspapers for McClatchy. He says…

    “you will be moved — maybe even to tears. This is what summer popcorn movies were meant to be.” “It has the summer’s best effects, the summer’s highest stakes, the summer’s sexiest villain and the biggest comic book movie thrills and best comic book movie chills of this cinema season.”

    EDIT: Apparently either he or Rotten Tomatoes mis-entered his review score.

  37. David Poland says:

    JSP – See the movie and then have an opinion in its ending. You are talking about and idea and not about what actually happens and its meaning.

  38. stratobunny says:

    Batman doesn’t quit. Shame on you. What are you, 12? Batman withdraws into central asian vastness to work on being a ninja and maybe bone Talia Al Ghul. You know, recharging. Or maybe he’s building granite schools with his bare hands. But he ain’t quit. It’s when you think he’s quit that he drops 33 loads of pain on your punk ass.

  39. christian says:

    Jeff Wells Aspect Ratio Meltdown is as sad and pathetic as the GOP’ Political Meltdown. But ironically in line with willful hatred and ignorance.

    BTW, it’s really hard to selectively blur my eyes everytime I get on the web to avoid and TDKR spoilers.

  40. anghus says:

    I’m pretty ambivilent about Dark Knight Rises spoilers, because theres only two possible endings.

    1. He lives
    2. He dies

    It’s the details of what leads up to that moment that are so compelling. Whether he lives or dies is never as important to the experience as the story leading up to that moment.

    I remember people freaking out when idiots would scream out SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE. But isn’t why Snape kills Dumbledore a thousand times more interesting than the act itself?

    At this point its a 50/50 chance he lives or dies. So the end is practically spoiled already. You know its one of two outcomes.

  41. etguild2 says:

    What about…Bruce Wayne dies but Batman lives? 😉

  42. anghus says:

    Is be fine with Bruce Wayne dying. But not Batman. Because as we all know, Batman never quits.

  43. spassky says:

    But batman CAN quit, because he doesn’t need the unemployment benefits.

  44. chris says:

    …or, Anghus, some ambiguous place between the two.

  45. anghus says:

    True. It could be some ambiguous ending where its left to the audience to decide. Oh man, that would so Pisa some people off.

    You gotta love spell correction…

    Piss… Not Pisa…

  46. LexG says:

    If somebody was a really important film critic or “quote whore,” could they conceivably ask a studio or publicist to provide them with a hooker?

    This is a serious question; Like do STUDIOS or PUBLICISTS ever try to seduce movie bloggers with WOMEN, or is it just like trinkets like that wack DJANGO T-shirt Wells posted?

  47. JS Partisan says:

    David, saying “EIGHT YEARS” has become a comical bit of business for my friend and I, because it’s that fucking stupid. It’s basically doing something that distorts the character of Batman, and turns Nolan’s films into really well made Schumacher ones. Seriously, say out loud that Batman quit because of Rachel and Harvey, then scream them in the Batman voice.

    The ludicrousness of it alone, makes me mock it, and will continue to mock until the Batman reboot. Hopefully in 2015, the guy or gal in charge of Bats then, will have him doing something besides walking around his house in a robe, getting online, and being mopey FOR EIGHT YEARS!

  48. David Poland says:

    Again, JSP… see the movie before you say things you might find hard to defend in light of the actual story.

  49. David Poland says:

    Oy, Lex.

    Studios used to provide sex to people who could help them… in the good ol’ days.

    No. Studios in 2012 do not barter in sex for reviews/features. Too dangerous.

  50. JS Partisan says:

    David, go back to Christmas, and notice I bring up “EIGHT YEARS.” Seriously David, it’s stupid and even if that works in the movie, that does not change how stupid all of this is.

  51. sanj says:

    watched the last circus – subtitled – wow.

    – the amazing cinematography keeps this complex movie come alive for the actors –

    the cast is pretty huge but the 3 main leads pull it off – it’s actually got a ending – a film like this could have
    gone several different places .

    any movie critics watch this ? it’s not exactly a mainstream movie ..

    – the 3 main actors + director need a dp/30 out of this .

    The Last Circus Trailer

  52. etguild2 says:

    @sanj whooo a “The Last Circus” fan!….was enthralled with the opening…then it went blah….and then I watched in stunned awe as the protagonist wandered off into the woods naked to fight with wild animals…and watched with more and more respect.

    Yeah amazing cinematography.

    The Ny Times’s 3rd string critic gave it a slobberingly happy rave :

    Slant and Salon also loved it and Village Voice did too.

  53. sanj says:

    – the last circus – the director is like Zack Snyder – Guillermo del Toro – Quentin Tarantino all rolled into 1 director – so great job Alex de la Iglesia –
    this guy should take over some comic book movies…

    Carolina Bang – main actress does amazing job at looking so different every like 5 minutes ….

    i get why some people don’t get this movie cause its just one crazy movie with lots of stuff going on ….hard to follow story at times …

    this movie probably doesn’t need to be remade but some english based director will try …

  54. David Poland says:

    Alex de la Iglesia is a golden god, sanj. Many great films.

    I especially recommend La Comunidad, The Day of the Beast, and Acción Mutante.

    Perdita Durango is mostly in English, with Rosie Perez and a young Javier Bardem with another great, psychotic haircut

  55. etguild2 says:

    Day of the Beast is wonderful. Never seen the others…netflix time.

    DP are you wordpress codexing my links? Because someone is…lol… I get the message and will be less lazy.

  56. David Poland says:

    etguild… I don’t know what that means. Ray might be doing it though…

  57. cadavra says:

    EL CRIMEN FERPECTO (THE FERPECT CRIME–yes, the misspelling is intentional) is another terrific de la Iglesia.

  58. Foamy Squirrel says:

    DP – he’s referring to putting the url link on the description instead of just going www,whatevah,com

    And, yeah, I think Ray’s been doing cleanup duty for a while (I usually try to do it myself).

  59. sanj says:

    i’ll check out the rest of Alex de la Iglesia movies up on youtube … lots of trailer and reviews .

    have any of his movies run on any english tv network ?
    amc has the tagline – story matters .
    but if the story is not in english . amc will kick your stories out and rerun Independence Day over and over.

    also this …

    parody Beyonce music video – guy makes an effort and does some nice editing

  60. berg says:

    Day of the Beast is one of my top films of all time

  61. Yancy Skancy says:

    sanj: I believe THE FERPECT CRIME has aired on the Starz channels a few times.

  62. sanj says:

    okay – i’ll try to check out day of the beast –

    i did check out the rest of the movie trailers by
    Alex de la Iglesia – lots aren’t in english …

    his next movies have Salma Hayek and Demián Bichir in them ..

    i’m guessing he is super famous in Spain but if he came to LA or NYC – he wouldn’t get noticed …

    also this –

    a real big smile from Anne Hathaway – click once to make picture smaller ..

  63. LexG says:

    I love Hathaway but at this point does ANYONE not believe that either Rooney or K-Stew would’ve been a better Catwoman?

    Also why isn’t Nolan a “sex” director? In INCEPTION he had a certain swoony Bondian romantic longing for the past, which is always a big hit with me, but why doesn’t he put his FETISHES on screen? Movies are inherently about two things: sex and violence. But even when his stuff has a sex angle, it’s like it’s written by some STUFFED-ASS BUSINESSMAN who won’t give us any real raunch or sleaze.

    Belushi voice: WHY NOT?

  64. sanj says:

    interchangeable actors –

    “Did you vow to stop watching “Criminal Minds” when Paget Brewster left? If so, NBC would like to invite you to watch her on “Law & Order: SVU” when it premieres on Sept. 26 — opposite the premiere of “Criminal Minds”

  65. Paul D/Stella says:

    Hathaway is a good actress and I like her too, but I am still not convinced she was the best choice for Catwoman. Maybe that will change after I see the movie, but every time I see a TV spot, she doesn’t look right to me.

  66. sanj says:

    i saw some lady checking out the front page of a newspaper box actually reading.

    weirdness.

    i wanted to yell out – this isn’t the library – pay for the newspaper or get off the street.

    newspapers are 1 dollar are just too expensive. should be 25 cents. newspapers should copy 90% of the stuff off google news and have 10% local news.

  67. SamLowry says:

    Well, it’s a little too late to hire Andy Rooney to play Catwoman, but the thought of him in black leather…hmmm.

    And considering that Selina Kyle started out as a rather butchy dominatrix in Year One, I’d have a hard time seeing a passive princess like KStew taking on the role. As unfit as Hathaway may be for this, she at least seems to play a driving force in her movies, not a weakling always hoping to be led and/or rescued.

  68. etguild2 says:

    72 year old Fred Willard was arrested for slapping his salami in an LA porn theatre.

    The best thing about this is, according to IMDB, his new movie is called “The Yank”.

  69. cadavra says:

    Can’t believe they’re still actually arresting people for that–no, wait, I can. I guess it’s easier to arrest septuagenarian comedians than heavily-armed gang-bangers.

  70. chris says:

    Anecdotally, a 14-plex here just sold out every single house with midnight “Dark Knight” showings (including two marathons and an “IMAX” screen) — only did 12 for “Avengers.”

  71. christian says:

    Can’t believe there are still LA porn theatres.

  72. SamLowry says:

    I’m bummed because its called the “Tiki Theater”. With so many memorable Polynesian joints gone or on the verge, it’s sad that this one can get by only with the help of porn?

  73. LYT says:

    “Like do STUDIOS or PUBLICISTS ever try to seduce movie bloggers with WOMEN”

    I’ve known a publicist or two to act slightly flirty (almost ten years ago, one once told me she had a dream about me), but that’s as far as it goes.

    I have always been curious to know if a critic ever entered into a romantic relationship with any publicist, or even a brief fling. Maybe David might have heard of one. I’d be amazed if it never happened.

  74. Don R. Lewis says:

    Ask Harry Knowles.

    And…
    This Brett Easton Ellis/Nikki Finke thing is frigging AWESOME. I don’t care about the woman and avoid her site but the shit she’s been pulling for years is fascinating and ridiculous. Leave it to B.E.E. to be like Dorothy in the WIZARD OF OZ by realizing he doesn’t have to take her threats at all and that she has no power. I wonder how it all shakes out…

  75. Joe Leydon says:

    LYT: On the advice of my lawyer, I will decline to answer that question.

  76. sanj says:

    sosmic journeys – lots of videos about space – 20 minutes.

    these videos have great voice over and graphics and
    are generally in plain english vs scifi stuff…

    watch a few – most are 20 minutes each – you will be hooked.

    this is the best series about space not on discovery channel – the internet wins. discovery loses.

  77. SamLowry says:

    Fred Willard seems to be trending, but I have yet to see anyone mention the man who’s been there, done that: Pee-Wee Herman.

    (…perhaps because anyone born on the day it happened is now old enough to drink. Legally.)

  78. sanj says:

    watched a few interviews with Jessica Biel about that total recall movie – she actually seems nicer now …small minor change. her last dp/30 was like 3 years ago – she needs a new one . DP get on that. she’s got like 6 different movies coming out … get some world exclusives.

    i request a dp/30 with The Devil and the Deep 2012 – Robbie Pickering – Chloë Grace Moretz – Jessica Biel – …this one should be fun.

  79. You can definitely see your skills within the work you write.
    The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not
    afraid to mention how they believe. All the time follow your heart.

The Hot Blog

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon