Hot Button Archive for September, 1997

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES
Elle “The Body” Macpherson recently complained, “Modeling does not train you in any way, shape or form to be an actor.” We noticed, Elle. Fortunately it does prepare you for lying (her recent claims that she wasn’t pregnant), humiliation (her turn in Batman & Robin) and full-frontal nudity (Sirens).
Quentin Tarantino recently singled out Ralph Meeker as the actor whose career he would most like to resurrect. His excuse for not doing so? Meeker is dead. Even so, Tarantino complained that by the end Meeker had been reduced to a low-rent appearance in 1977’s Hi-Riders. Interestingly enough, the director of that film, Greydon Clark, was a pre-QT hirer of burnt-out stars. For 1980’s Without Warning, Clark hired Meeker, a pre-City Slickers Jack Palance and a pre-Tucker Martin Landau and gave work to a pre-NYPD Blue David Caruso. Another late-in-the-game Meeker employer, director William Richert, was also QT before QT was cool. For Winter Kills (1979), an anarchic thriller, Richert hired Meeker, Richard Boone, Sterling Hayden, John Huston, Dorothy Malone, Toshiro Mifune, Anthony Perkins and featured Elizabeth Taylor in an uncredited cameo. Quentin is still one of Hollywood’s best and still has never done anything that someone else didn’t do first.
Speaking of Caruso, Freckle Boy “got real” with People this week, claiming that his NYPD Blue tantrums were misunderstood. “Sometimes I appeared angry, but I was just trying to summon the energy to do the take,” he said. Ahhhhh. So, in Kiss of Death, when he appeared stiff and untalented, he was only trying to make Nicolas Cage look good. And while shooting Jade, he sometimes appeared megalomaniacal, but was only trying to get really lean corned beef for lunch. Now we get it.

Steven Seagal, John Cusack

Steven Seagal, America’s favorite Talentless-Clint-Eastwood-
Imitator-with-a Bowling Ball-In-His-Gut, took the top box office spot with a Fire Down Below without even hitting the $10 million mark ($6.1 million bucks). Just last weekend, even adjusting with kindness for the three-day weekend, Seagal would have been number five on the box office chart behind week two veterans G.I. Jane and Money Talks, Air Force One’s week six and Hoodlum‘s opening. And Whispering Ponytail Man would be in a fight even for spot five, with week four of Conspiracy Theory and box-office juggernaut Excess Baggage putting up similar numbers. Then again, what do you expect from a guy who kicks when he fights?

John Cusack
is making the air controller comedy Pushing Tin with Four Weddings And A Funeral director Mike Newell. No truth to rumors that studio heads are trying to use their previous hits to their P.R. advantage by calling it Four Air Disasters and a Competition or Grosse Pointe Air Space.
Also, Cusack is developing a sequel to Grosse Pointe Blank, the hit film about a slacker hitman who wants to win back his ex-girlfriend. And he and Newell are developing the Nick Hornby bestseller High Fidelity, which the Reuters wire calls “the story of a slacker who owns a record store and wants to win back his ex-girlfriend.” Cusack’s resume includes The Real Thing (Slacker Crosses Country For Girl), Eight Men Out (Slacker Plays Baseball), Say Anything (Slacker Obsesses On Ione Skye), The Road To Wellville (Slacker Tries To Make Corn Flakes) and Con Air (Slacker Becomes Action Hero). No wonder they call him Mr. Originality!

Drew Barrymore, Jeremy Irons, Hugh Grant

Drew Barrymore has jumped into the precocious blonde producers’ pool. With a new two year first-look deal at Fox 2000 (if the name fits…), Drew’s shown Silverstone-like insight choosing her first Fox project, Born To Shop. Producer Barrymore will play a shopaholic who gets hit by a bus and comes back from the dead to enlist her best shopping pal in the search for the perfect parents for her rebirth on earth. (No, I did not make that up!) Let’s hope Drew isn’t about to become just another flash-on-the-desk.
Jeremy Irons is playing the censorship card, claiming that the U.S. distributors are withholding distribution of Adrian Lyne‘s version of Lolita due to its content. The film, based on the Nabakov classic is about a XXXXXXXXX God XXXXXXXXX implants XXXBarry ManilowXXXXXXXXX virgin XXXXXX dead enemas XXXXXXXX karaoke XXXXX love. Rough Cut takes a dim view of censorship and is proud to stand up for our principles!
Obsesses With Sundance must be the new Chief of Connecticut’s Mashantucket Pequot Indian tribe. They announced this week that the tribe, which operates a casino that brings in $1 billion a year, will produce Naturally Native, a “sort of Indian version of The Brothers McMullan,” according to screenwriter/co-director Valerie Red-Horse. No word yet on whether Red-Horse will give a starring role to her girlfriend who can’t act. Or to Lauren Holly.

Hugh Grant will star in Columbia’s American Neurotic, which centers on a compulsive womanizer who is unable to commit to any single woman. (Write your own joke here.)

Clooney on South Park

GEORGE CLOONEY IS A FLEA-RIDDEN HOMOSEXUAL!
Calm yourselves, everyone. George is just guest voicing on Comedy Central’s South Park as Sparky, a male dog who comes out of the closet when he discovers that life’s a bitch and so is he. Normally, The Hot Button doesn’t cover TV, but who could resist writing that headline?
SWM JOURNALIST SEEKS STRUEDEL
German filmmaker Eckhart Schmidt will try to answer some of the questions about cyber-lust in Internet Love, his low budget, Mike Leigh-style project which starts shooting in L.A. next month. It’s the story of a Los Angeles journalist who falls for a German actress after exchanging Internet bon mots. Aspiring actresses can email me their photos and resumes at ladave@pacbell.net No stalkers, please. (And if you really want to know why you shouldn’t do that, read The Rules: L.A..
SEAGAL SEEKS FRIENDS
The press release tells the tale. To quote: “Steven Seagal, star/producer of eco-thriller (or is that ego-thriller?) Fire Down Below, will perform with his band after the premiere. Seagal will be joined by his co-stars Ed Bruce, Mark Collie, Patsy Lynn, Peggy Lynn, Harry Dean Stanton and Randy Travis.” Gee, I wonder what happened to his co-stars, Marg Helgenberger, Stephen Lang and Kris Kristofferson? Could they be afraid that their co-star is… Satan?! For more of why Steven is so popular, check out 5 Reasons why Steven Seagal is so Popular from our friends at Black Belt Magazine. Haaaaaa-ya!

Box Office and Movie News

BOX OFFICE B.O.
The box office story was so weak this weekend that making jokes would seem cruel. Why kick a conquered Kull? Why tease Alicia about being excess baggage? Why rip Charlie Sheen (even the studio dropped Sheen to the background and put money man Chris Tucker front and center in the new ads) when Money Talks is doing so well? Why? Cause it’s my job! (Mom’s so proud!)
SALMA IS SEX!
Salma Hayek‘s joining Mike Myers and Neve Campbell in 54, the Miramax offering about the ’70s disco House O’ Fun, Studio 54. In yet another insightful bit of Hollywood casting, Hayek plays the Hispanic servant girl (in this case, a hat check girl) while the other Anglo stars play the power roles of club owner and soap starlet. The more things change… On the other hand, just the thought of Ms. Hayek panty-free and wired at 5 a.m. is giving me a testosterone rush that makes me want to chew glass.
CAN YOU SEE THE LOVE TONIGHT?
Speaking of hormonal overload, E! is selling the story that last weekend’s Men In Black newspaper ads featured an Appendage In Shadow that would make grandma blush. Quick, somebody send a Bacardi ad and a magnifying glass over to E! I’m sure they painted an orgy into the ice! You know, kids, sometimes a neuralyzer is just a neuralyzer.

Nothing Funny About It

There’s nothing funny about the death of a 36-year-old woman who leaves behind two young children. So, today’s Hot Button will be a little different.
Think of two eight-year-old boys. They jump off of buildings. They throw toys at each other. They do stupid, dangerous things out of reflex that given a moments thought would scare them silly. This is the relationship between celebrities and the media. It’s a big game with a lot of money at stake.
One day, the celebrity’s publicist calls everyone in town to get media coverage of an event. The next day, the celeb wants to get coffee at the local Starbucks without flashbulbs going off. “But we played your game yesterday,” whines the paparazzi. “It’s not a game,” shouts back the celeb.
But it is. An ugly little game that sometimes gets out of hand. And now, this children’s game, full of dollars and hubris has killed a true Princess. And it just isn’t fun to play today.
Tomorrow, The Hot Button will be funny again. And it will remember.

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon