Hot Button Archive for July, 1998

The Weekend Wrap-Up

This is the kind of weekend after which guys like me should probably just shut up. But what fun would that be? There’s not a lot to say about the success of Lethal Weapon 4. Warner Bros. rushed the film through development and into production on a short schedule, determined to hit its July 10 mark to fill the troubled studio’s summer “event” void once they decided that they didn’t really believe in The Avengers (a fact they’ve been telegraphing to the media for months) and realized they (Mr. Daly and Mr. Semel) might not survive another bad summer. And it worked. Brilliantly. Will the film hold up? Who knows? But the heat is off the WB for the moment.
Meanwhile, Armageddon had one of those weekends that just leaves me shaking my head. The film dropped just 37 percent overall for the three days, falling 48 percent on Friday, 21 percent on Saturday and 40 percent (based on the Disney estimate) on Sunday. These jumpy percentages may just be a natural correction (despite my B.S. meter going wild) since last Saturday was the 4th of July, causing the box office to dip that day. That didn’t stop Disney from throwing Daily Variety the Bizarre Stat Of The Week, and I quote, Armageddon “enjoyed a strong 27 percent jump in sales from Friday to Saturday.” (Fox, feeling no need to spin, didn’t bother to tell reporters that Dr. Dolittle jumped “a strong” 52 percent from Friday to Saturday.) Also, Armageddon ended its second weekend with $100,000 more in its estimated coffers than was in Godzilla‘s two-weekend take. Do we think that is a coincidence? Armageddon may fall back behind Godzilla‘s pace as final numbers are released today. (Disney’s Sunday estimate was lowered more than $500,000 last weekend.) No, this is not some grand conspiracy that I’ve got racing in my head. It’s the subtle shading that can make all the difference in how the media reports this story. Less than a 40 percent drop, more than a 40 percent drop. Doing better than Godzilla, doing worse than Godzilla. Most people don’t get further than the headlines, so make sure the headlines are in your favor. That’s the game.
The other newcomer was Small Soldiers, which pulled in $14.5 million for third place. I’d say the opening is just about right, and the strength of the film’s legs will become apparent (or not) next weekend. It hasn’t been a big story in the media yet, but this summer has been really good for kids’ films, with Dr. Dolittle (fourth place with $12.8 million), Mulan (fifth place with $7 million), newcomer Madeline (a soft $6.6 million sixth place finish that was still better than many expected) and Small Soldiers pulling in altogether more than $41 million this weekend and, as a group, grossing more than $200 million domestic so far.
The final four could all switch positions by the release of final numbers today. The high estimater was The Truman Show with $3.73 million and the low was Six Days, Seven Nights with $3.5 million. The X-Files was in the middle (with $3.7 million), tied with Out of Sight, which will gross less than any of the other four films in this bracket. Which is a horrible irony, considering that it’s the best of the lot. And I’ll add this. People have loved Truman and The X-Files and even Armageddon, but there have been others who have strongly disagreed. I haven’t seen one letter saying anything bad about Out of Sight. Not one. So, if you haven’t shelled out to see it, do it now while it’s still on some good multiplex screens.
THE GOOD: Another film that looks like it may outgross Out of Sight, though not quite as dramatically, is Everest, the IMAX smash-hit mountain movie that was actually No. 11 in last weekend’s box office race, adding another $1.1 million for a $24.6 18-week total. With numbers like that, it may not be long before they make a “real” movie in the monumental format whose total screen count is growing steadily.
MORE GOOD: Caught Halloween: H20 on Saturday night. If you love the original Halloween, this film will not disappoint. Sure, there’s plenty of room for criticism, but what’s the point? It’s a horror movie, for God’s sake. (More tomorrow.)
THE BAD: Disney spun some more on Friday, this time attacking critics directly. From the mouth of Jerry Bruckheimer (“they” are the critics): “I made a different picture than the one they saw — I made a real entertaining popcorn movie, and they didn’t get that. The same critic who likes My Dinner with Andre is not going to have the same response to Armageddon. I make popular entertainment. If critics don’t like popular entertainment, they shouldn’t be reviewing it. Critics who review classical music and opera don’t review popular music, do they?” Uhhhhh, wrong! I really enjoyed Bruckheimer’s last two action epics, Con Air and The Rock. But, I also like My Dinner with Andre. And two guys who work under the Disney banner, Siskel and Ebert, are similarly flexible. Both loved Andre, yes. But both gave “thumbs up” to Con Air. And Siskel, who gave “thumbs down” to The Rock, gave “thumbs up” to Armagedddon, while Ebert was “thumbs down” on Armageddon and “thumbs up” on The Rock. To paraphrase James Carville (though I think Bruckheimer is extremely smart), “It’s the movie, stupid.”
THE UGLY: Funny that Bruckheimer took on critics in a bunch on the same weekend that I want to take one on as an individual. You tell me, is the following paragraph from a film review or a college mid-term? “It’s an adult’s paranoid dream come to life, so setting it in a juvenile context may have inadvertently undone the foundation of the story. And while the picture’s sense of a toy store turned upside down, courtesy of dazzling f/x, will draw young viewers, ultimately the film’s mean-spiritedness and serious underpinnings will turn off its core audience. The result will be rapid commercial erosion and disappointing theatrical box office; ancillary movement, particularly on video, could provide the picture with a more vital afterlife.” You can put down your dictionaries now. If you haven’t figured it out, the review is of Small Soldiers. And it’s by Leonard Klady of Variety. . Some movies and some critics just are an unreasonable match.
TWO MOVIES EQUAL: Lethal Weapon 4 + Madeline = Lethal Madeline 14. “She’s 14 years old, she’s menstruating and she ain’t taking any crap!” Follow the adventures of young Madeline as she comes of age and decides it’s time to break out of those two rows (“I’m getting too old for this s–t!”) and hit the streets of Paris. Watch out, nuns!
JUST WONDERING: Have any of you noticed Ben Affleck‘s new teeth making their debut in Armageddon? They were bought and paid for by Disney. You see, when director Michael Bay lined up young Affleck’s first close-up, he decided in a New York-destroying second that Big Ben’s teeth weren’t nearly as pretty as his pecs. Twenty-four hours and $18,000 later, Ben was no longer dentally challenged and he was ready for his close-up.
BAD AD WATCH: This section is usually moist with bile, but not this week. As I leafed through Sunday’s papers, I was taken with the good ads for a change. First, there’s Saving Private Ryan, which is going pull-quote free. Bravo! I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that DreamWorks’ other July release Small Soldiers is doing the same, though it may be for slightly less lofty reasons. (“Two Thumbs Down.”) Meanwhile, Sony left off the names from pull-quotes by two NBC stations (Chicago and Dallas) and one L.A. local on The Mask of Zorro, perhaps sensing the names would have only negative value if any. (I expect some big-name raves by next weekend.) And best of all, there wasn’t a Ron Brewington quote as far as my eye could see.
READER OF THE DAY: From Krillian: “I just saw Armageddon and thought it was a great summer movie. What’s with all the hype about Armageddon being a bomb already? It’ll hit $100 million domestically by Tuesday, and you know this movie will do great overseas, so why doesn’t everyone calm down and stop trying to kill a movie’s business with negative box-office non-stories? And it’s not just you, it’s every single movie site I’ve checked. Sure Armageddon had dozens of flaws, and I could probably come up with an equal number in the list as I did with Godzilla, but Armageddon had better characters, wittier lines, cooler special effects, and they actually… [edited out spoiler]. Armageddon is three-and-one-half stars for enjoyment, and maybe two stars for an actual film. It’s a movie that I know will suck in two years, the way ID4 bites it now, but at the time, I thought that was great, too.”

News By the Numbers

10. FROM BRENTWOOD TO BURBANK: Universal signed Oscar-winner Geoffrey Rush to be the bad guy in its upcoming “from the comic book of the same name” feature, Mystery Men. The description of the film says the Mystery Men are would-be super heroes who do unique things, like one who “channels his anger,” one who “does creative things with forks” and one who can “really wield a shovel.” Sounds like Universal has finally done what the LAPD couldn’t do: solve the Nicole Brown Simpson/Ron Goldman murder case.
9. RELEASING LOLITA: The long-delayed and controversial Lolita is finally scheduled to arrive in America’s living rooms on August 2 on Showtime cable. So what is it doing in L.A. and New York City theaters on July 22? Trying to win an Oscar. See, there’s an Academy rule that says if your film hits cable before it hits theaters, it’s ineligible for an Academy Award. If you want to know more about that rule, call Linda Fiorentino, who was a sure-bet Academy nominee for The Last Seduction, but was ruled out by law. But that’s not all. The Samuel Goldwyn Company will release Lolita into theaters in September to try and develop a profitable theatrical run. As far as I know, it will not be any kind of “special edition,” so what’s the point? Money, money, money, money, money. Given the specialized nature of Lolita, this release is the equivalent of sending the film to revival houses after cable, only better. The prints will be cleaner. My guess is that Goldwyn is investing $10 million or less and will hit profit at about a $15 million gross. That would confirm my earlier suspicions that the lack of a domestic distributor was about the cost of distribution, not the controversy around the movie. I doubt that director Adrian Lyne and Pathé would have accepted such a soft release, given the $55 million negative cost of the film, except at the last minute. And here we are.
8. HILLARY!!!!! ROCKY!: Sly Stallone got moneyed Miamians to cough up more than $800,000 at a fund-raising dinner in his home that featured sea bass terrine, filet mignon and the President of the United States. Stallone presented Clinton with a pair of boxing gloves and analogized Clinton to Rocky. President Clinton responded by asking (in my imagination), “How do you get these things to stay on your knees?”
7. REVERSE ARMAGEDDON: 20th Century Fox is developing Challenger, the story of the tragic space shuttle explosion. Seems a little tame for a feature, so here is a suggestion to spice it up: It turns out there was an asteroid headed toward Earth. And NASA launched two shuttles and blew one up as a distraction. Christa McAuliffe was an alien who was returned to her planet. But she was David Duchovny‘s sister and he found out. No, no, no! It turns out Jim Cameron may do it, and he’s going to make Christa McAuliffe a 19-year-old Brit, and there’s a stowaway who has real insight and a cute butt. But the captain of the shuttle chases them with a gun and blows a hole in the shuttle. No! Before the movie, there’s a 2-hour trailer for Speed 2 (great recycling opportunity) and the 73-second shuttle launch and explosion, uncut and with no rock music, runs. The End.
6. MR. W. & TINA: Tina Brown left The New Yorker to do a magazine/TV/movie deal with Miramax. This is big news in New York and almost meaningless in the industry town of Los Angeles, unless you are fighting for the last table at Spago on a Saturday night and Tina has it now. You were one of the greatest magazine editors ever, Ms. Brown. Welcome back to the bottom of the Hollywood hill. Start pushing the rock.
5. FUNERAL WITH A SIDE OF FRIES: Roy Rogers has gone the way of Bob’s Big Boy, only Mr. Rogers is unlikely to make a comeback. Personally, I never liked his cooking. But besides being the name on the sign for over 600 restaurants, Roy Rogers was also one of America’s most popular figures in the 1940’s, the personification of the great singing cowboy. By all accounts, he was a great guy and a real humanitarian. Happy trails to the Bruce Willis of his generation. Yippee Ay Yo Kayay, Roy.
4. DREAM A LITTLE (MORE) DREAM: Paul Allen made his money with Bill Gates, and then took his billions and became an investor. He is not a foolish man, even if he has the bad habit of buying sports teams in Seattle. So, it must be reassuring now that he has come close to doubling his stake in DreamWorks SKG by buying out most of the stake that was held by South Korean food conglomerate Cheil Jedang Corp. Allen now owns more of DreamWorks than Spielberg, Katzenberg or Geffen with 24 percent, but the trio still controls the company completely with 22 percent each, adding up to their 66 percent total. The stock purchase cost about $160 million, bringing his total investment to about $660 million. That’s a lot of Small Soldiers.
3. COMMITTING LEO: Looks like Leo DiCaprio is finally ready to sign on the line that is dotted and will actually grace us with another movie. It’s called The Beach, and it’s a war drama that will be directed by Danny Boyle of Trainspotting fame. The film won’t start shooting until January, which will give Leo more time to hang out with Playmates, bust up hotel rooms and generally act like less than his 23 years. Go, Leo, go! Just don’t look back because Ryan Phillippe or some other kid with brighter eyes may be catching up with you.
2. ARMAGEDDON SPIN WATCH: Disney had quite a week trying to convince us that Armageddon was a great success for the studio. When Joe Roth complained the media was unfair in portraying The Hunchback of Notre Dame as a failure even though it grossed $322 million worldwide, I bought it. When he brought Simpson and Bruckheimer back into the fold to create gritty event movies even after their disastrous “visionary alliance” with Disney, I said, “Interesting.” But when he tells the world that he was happy with a $53 million opening for Armageddon, I laugh my butt off. If the movie drops by less than 40 percent this weekend, the spin will continue on Monday. If it drops by 50 percent or more, look for dead silence from the Mouse House. Can’t make any excuses after that excrement hits the fan.
1. THINK THEY SAW BATMAN & ROBIN?: A jury awarded Francis Ford Coppola $20 million in actual damages and $60 million in punitive damages in his suit against Warner Bros. over efforts which resulted in Coppola’s version of Pinocchio never reaching the screen. So, $80 million is the going rate for NOT getting your film made. Interesting. I have some old screenplays I should get out of the trunk. But seriously, this award could be the most significant ever, since it basically penalizes the WB for doing what studio executives have done since the end of the studio system: kill every project they thought had potential, but decided not to make, so that if it ever became a hit somewhere else they wouldn’t look stupid and lose their job for which they knew they were underqualified and overpaid in the first place. Keep in mind, they go through hundreds of projects each year and make about 20 movies. Hollywood is the land of “What if?” Better for them that no one ever answers that question.
READER OF THE DAY: From Julian from Melbourne, Australia: “I’m sick of being the one who knows what sounds good, what sounds bad but seeable, and so on. Years of media saturation means I’m always the one my friends and family ask when they want to know about films that are out, or what’s arriving soon, or what’s meant to be good. For once, I’d like to be the one who goes into a film without knowing anything about it, and be completely surprised by the plot, characters and happenings of the film. In the last couple of years I can only say independent films have really caught me by not having the whole plot revealed beforehand. Does this mean I’ll stop visiting web sites such as roughcut.com or reading the odd entertainment magazine? No, because I love movies and want to know what’s good, what’s bad and what’s it all about. However, I would think film publicists would remember mystique can draw just as big by letting it all hang out. To give credit where it’s due, (and I’m not a fan here) Star Wars had a tiny release, originally. What it does mean is that I miss the position of being told by a friend ‘I saw this movie yesterday,’ and not being able to tell them more about it than they knew without having seen the film. Just my tuppence.”

Weekend Preview

Armageddon week two is here… the moment of truth. You know, I do this every week, but rarely do I discuss one of the guiding principals of box office: The Second Weekend Rules. It’s this simple. As much as we like to think the first weekend tells us the future, as much as we like to think the weekdays leading up to the second weekend are great indicators, as much as we use calculators, we don’t know jack until the second weekend. If Armageddon drops only 30 percent this weekend, it may do the $160 million-plus that Joe Roth (Disney Movie King) is predicting. But if it’s a 50 percent dropper, as the rest of us seem to suspect, then look for it to stay in the mosh pit of moderate hits with Deep Impact and Godzilla. (Second place, 48 percent drop to $17.3 million). So, who is the new champ? Same as the old champ. Lethal Weapon 4 should manage to pull in around $23 million for the same old, same old first-place finish. (They always &#^@ you in the drive-thru!) And look for a bigger opening than many are predicting for Small Soldiers. Let’s say $16 million.
Dr. Dolittle should hold up well enough for a $12.8 million third week, pushing past the $85 million mark and taking the fourth spot on the Top 10. In the five spot, it looks to be a rugged battle between Mulan (which should fall by about 35 percent to $7.5 million) and the new kids’ film, Madeline, which has been unceremoniously dumped into the marketplace by Sony. I’ll bet on Mulan to win this one, and I will live with my fear that I may be overestimating Madeline by a few million. Filling out the Top 10, Out of Sight fights for its life, The X-Files fights the future and Harrison Ford (Six Days, Seven Nights) fights Jim Carrey (The Truman Show) to stay in the Top 10. Don’t look for any of these pictures to stay over the $4 million mark. And if numbers continue as they have in the last few weeks, don’t be too surprised if The X-Files is drops from sight here. The X-Files total, which looks to be about $80 to $85 million, is a surprise, but it shouldn’t be. The longer I spend this kind of time examining the numbers, the more I realize history is almost always right. And the singular phenomenon that is Titanic is more and more impressive every week.
THE GOOD: After waiting an hour later than expected for the Small Soldiers premiere screening to end, we finally got Stan Winston, Henry Rollins, Dick Miller and Dionne Warwick to chat with us at the post-party. Check out the transcript here.
THE BAD: Christina Ricci, who looked great in a slinky, royal blue jumpsuit, dissed us. Just wouldn’t come on-line. I guess she’s been getting media advice form Vincent “The Brain” Gallo, who directed her in the grossly overrated and ego-driven Buffalo 66. Oh, well.
THE UGLY: Not Cheri Oteri. You know, the crazed cheerleader from “Saturday Night Live.” She stopped by for a quick chat, worrying the whole time that she wasn’t going to be funny enough. She was. But the surprise was that she looked so much like a movie starlet. It’s one of the great oddities of this job that you get to take a close look at the people you cover. You get to know who has great skin and who has fake boobs. But the one thing that always shocks is eye color. So many actors and actresses have really beautiful eyes that never come across on TV or are well lit enough in features to see their real color. So, Cheri has great eyes. That’s all I’m trying to say. She does a cameo in Small Soldiers and plays “The Mayor” in Inspector Gadget, which she’s shooting now with Matthew Broderick and Rupert Everett. And she let us know that The Cheerleader is going on hiatus for a while. “Leave them wanting more, not less,” she told me.
TWO MOVIES EQUAL: Small Soldiers + Armageddon = Small Armageddon. Plastic soldiers come to life and fight back when a small child tries to use Comet to get them clean. Led by the voice of Bruce Willis, who loses all his hair to the scrub brush. Demi Moore as the G.I. Jane, who takes half of Bruce’s body as part of the doll divorce settlement. (She takes the torso, which leaves the Bruce character with his head and his brain closer than ever.) Special appearance by Steve Buscemi as the voice of Malibu Psychotic Ken.
JUST WONDERING: Will you all go see a movie for its soundtrack if it’s not a movie that’s based around the music? Small Soldiers has such hot names as Bone Thugs N Harmony, Wyclef and Queen Latifah. Armageddon has Aerosmith. There’s Something About Mary has a great retro soundtrack. City of Angels is a smash with new songs by Alanis Morrisette and Goo Goo Dolls. Do these call for a trip to the movies or just the record store?
BAD AD WATCH: It’s killing me to see Sony using pull quotes from the amazing Ron Brewington in TV ads for The Mask of Zorro. I really enjoyed the film, which is as corny as Kansas in July but twice as sweet, and I’m pretty sure they could have gotten someone who isn’t such a quote whore to say something nice about the film. Perhaps a lesson of this summer is that reviews from the meaningless are pretty much meaningless. Opening a movie is about creating a “must-see” audience and those kind of committed moviegoers see right through pull quotes from guys like Brewington.
ARMAGEDDON SPIN WATCH: Disney was able to take the day off from spinning as the Armageddon soundtrack, driven by the Aerosmith single, “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing,” hit the top of the album charts. Congratulations! Of course, Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler was the first person to spin his involvement in the film, when, after being jeered at the Cape Canaveral premiere for donning an Armageddon cap, told the crowd, “Hey! My kid’s in the movie. I gotta do this!”
READER OF THE DAY: From Scott T: “I saw Lethal Weapon 4 last night and I must say that Mel, Danny, Joe and company are definitely too old for this crap. Jet Li makes an impressive American debut, and Chris Rock is good for a few laughs, but everyone else seems tired. The main problem seems to be the script that sometimes lapses into sitcom-like situations. The direction is somewhat lacking, as well. There is no flow. The plot is almost negligible. There are some good, if not unbelievable, action scenes. The most irritating aspect of the movie is the character Leo [Joe Pesci]. I can’t remember if this character was appealing in the second film, but he certainly has outstayed his welcome. His character seems to be a variation of the one he played in Gone Fishin’. If I were he I wouldn’t want to remind anyone of that mess. The sad thing is you can tell they had a great time making the movie. It’s too bad they didn’t bother to find a story the rest of us could enjoy as well. This movie, like the recent U.S. Marshals, is fun to watch but is totally uninvolving and quickly fades from memory as soon as you leave the theater.”

Weekend Preview

The first non-holiday weekend of the new year and not much to go on.The only new wide release is Fox’s forest fire actioner, Firestorm,starring the hugely popular (snicker, snicker) Howie Long. Last year,three pictures debuted in this slot. The Relic opened OK, followed bya weak Jackie Chan’s First Strike and a disastrousTurbulence. My guess is that Firestorm will do a Liotta-like $4.5million for seventh place. The unsinkable Titanic will certainly maintain first place. The weekday numbers are off, with the holidayover, by about 60 percent, but I expect that the Fri-Sat cume should drop onlyabout 15 percent because kids are back in school and another 7.5 percent or so because of reduced attendance onFriday and late Sunday. That means about $25.8 million.
As Good As It Gets seems to be in the passing lane, rushing past aremote-controlled Tomorrow Never Dies for second place with a 30 percent dropto about $8.6 million. Bond drops 40 percent to third with $8.3 million topass the $100 million mark domestically. Mouse Hunt will take theDreamWorks box office crown, dipping about 35 percent to add $5.5 millioncheese balls for fourth. Scream 2 should battle Jackie Brown for thefifth spot. Both look like 34 percent droppers, but will the long-term wear onS2 be worse than the ennui that seems to surround T3 (that’s Tarantino3). Both should hang out around $47.7 million. Firestorm will follow.Amistad should drop one spot to eighth with about $3.1 million. And Mr.Magoo should be tangling with Flubber for ninth and tenth with about$2.6 million each. The third of the Disney idiot trilogy, An AmericanWerewolf In CGI, should drop below the Mendoza line.
Reader Timothy Kooney sent us this over the holidays, responding to my Worst of 1997 list. It’s edited for space.
Lost World should have ranked worst of the worst with a Surgeon General’s warning. This moviehad it all: hack writing, bad acting, half-dimensional characters,B-movie suspense, inconsistent science, fractured plot,lead-pipe-to-the-head “humor”/irony and more. The dinosaurs were themost life-like creatures on the screen.”
TK adds about Jeff Goldblum:
“After Lost World, I think even the Prince of Darkness will be ready toget this babbling idiot off the screen. I don’t remember my Dante, isthere a circle of hell for bad acting?”

Ranting and Ravings

The great William Goldman coined the phrase “nobody knows anything” in his 1983 classic, Adventures in the Screen Trade. (The one true “must read” for industry insight.) This summer seems to be out to prove his point in a big way. There are plenty of people who loved last summer’s The Lost World, but most people would call it a dog. Yet, last summer, it opened with $92.7 million over Memorial Day weekend. This year, Godzilla was knocked from mega status to being just another blockbuster in just the two days between its Tuesday night sneaks and Memorial Day Friday.
So, what lesson did we take from that lambasting? Too Much Hype Is Bad.
That must have been it, right? Backlash.
Screen Your Movie.Godzilla wasn’t ready for an audience until five days before release. No time for the Sony marketing team to take the audience reaction to the new animalistic Godzilla into account. If they had found that core viewers were going to react to the beast as though they had been doused with radiation by Devlin and Emmerich, they would have adjusted marketing, right?
Make A Great Movie. This is an old rule, but a good one. The Centropolis guys thought they had made a qualifying film. But the core audience responded with venom. Regular audiences seemed to like it all right, though most people concede that the human story was lame. Not so much bad as soft.
Of course, that didn’t stop Twister from racking up $242 million domestically. Though Twister had effects we hadn’t seen before (Another rule: Use Never-Before-Seen Effects), and their sidekick characters were kind of cool.
So, another rule: Use Iconic Characters, At Least As Sidekicks. And a problem for Godzilla. People felt they had seen the effects before in the Jurassic Park movies.
OK. Got it. Wrote it down. We’re prepared.
And then came the Armageddon. Disney pulled back on the hype, screened the movie for critics and junket jockeys (and some invited geek types whom the studio expected to juice the room), and they used iconic characters. In fact, they used characters so iconic that each sidekick had their own little music video about their life away from the oil/asteroid rig. But two little problems. Armageddon featured the fourth major CG (computer graphic) destruction of New York (after ID4, Godzilla and Deep Impact. What do these guys have against The Chrysler Building, anyway?) Broke that rule. And was this a Great Movie? Well, no. Personally, I consider it a soulless exercise in trying to remake Con Air in space without the weight of Nicolas Cage and with the asteroid in John Malkovich‘s role. Malkovich could sneer that asteroid into submission. But there are those of you who disagree. I certainly have to acknowledge that. But cries of “Lighten Up! It’s only an effects movie!” leave us with a real problem. I was saying just that about Godzilla. And there was plenty of mail from those who agreed with me on that picture. (My simple comparison. I thought that Godzilla was a sincere effort and that Armageddon was, as I just said, completely calculating.)
So, making a great movie isn’t the answer. Too hard to decide what that is unless you are working with Speilberg, Lucas, Cameron or Zemeckis. Then you’re safe. Audiences will always give them the benefit of the doubt! That is, unless you are trying to sell 1941, Radioland Murders, The Abyss or Death Becomes Her. Damn it! (And I really like three of those four movies.)
Could it be that coughing up the latest effects, not technology-wise but in content, is the requirement for a mega-movie now? Men in Black gave us some new alien stuff last year. That worked. But Starship Troopers had the incredible cutting-edge bugs that we hadn’t seen before and it flopped. So, effects are not enough.
But Starship Troopers wasn’t a summer movie. Maybe it should have been. And thank God Titanic wasn’t. You all know that I am not a lusty Titanic lover, but I have always said that it was a must-see-in-a-big-theater movie. The last hour is awesome. And Titanic had some great effects (though we’re going to be laughing at that overhead deck shot, with the cardboard-like CG people, in the near future). Do you smell a new rule?
Brand New Effects Plus Characters People Love Means Mega Dollars. Good! We have an answer! Finally.
But what if Titanic had made its July release date? Would it have been nearly the smash we now have in the record books? Probably not. Remember, Titanic only opened with $28 million. In the summer, that would be considered a disastrous opening. But fortunately for the Big Boat and The King Of The World, the rest of the Christmas line-up was pretty soft. And the winter schedules featured dud after dud. Titanic captured America’s imagination and sailed in smooth water for months. When it finally lost the No. 1 slot, it wasn’t due to the competition. It was simply slowing down on its own and a decent competitor finally showed up. So throw everything out! Titanic means nothing to a distribution chief trying to figure out how to navigate summer. There is never any clear water, until maybe August, but then you are limiting yourself to a three-week summer run. No one wants to get too close to the Labor Day wall.
Have you noticed yet that I have no real answers here?
Saying “Make A Great Movie” just isn’t enough. Independence Day played the patriotism card at just the right moment. Effects were good, but the best effect was the coming-of-age of Will Smith. Forrest Gump and The Lion King, the only other summer films to gross more than $300 million since Jurassic Park, changed the effects equation, as they were also low-tech phenomena. Both captured us in a way no one expected. (The Lion King did almost $100 million more than Disney’s No. 2 animated classic, Aladdin). So the effects rules aren’t enough. Iconic characters can be taken either as fun or as a trick. One never knows. Hype worked last summer with Men in Black, so that can’t be the problem. Maybe there is just no way to raise the hype envelope any higher. Just like there’s no way to do a realistic Godzilla creature that doesn’t remind people of Jurassic Park. Or maybe the reality that theatrical showings of a movie are just one small part of the viewership has finally caught up with the movies. Maybe we are at a moment in history when the $200 million gross is the high watermark, with only remarkable exceptions like Titanic, and audiences are ready for day-‘n-date PPV premieres.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. Nobody knows anything. But there are a bunch of guys in $3,000 suits trying to figure it out before they get fired. Me? I’m in my T-shirt and shorts, enjoying the weather and waiting for the next epiphany. Maybe Lethal Weapon 4 will put it all into perspective. Or Lethal Weapon 14.
READER OF THE DAY: Marianne T wrote: “What’s going on here is Titanic — great story, simple story, charismatic acting, and interacting, huge scope, comprehensible scope, incredible quality throughout. However hard it was to be a part of or to make, what comes through the screen is magic. Having felt that magic, the engineered, veneered disasters seem doubly preposterous. The direction of disaster-type movies will have to become graspable, not almost laughable. Was there an instant in Deep Impact, Godzilla or Armageddon where anybody in the audience really cared? I think not. Perhaps we now have the capacity to sit in a theater and get involved for more than two hours INSTEAD of tuning out or numbing out. The huge scale is not the problem. These movies are not too big, or loud, or filled with too many people. Titanic was all of those, and yet it seems to have awakened a collective memory of why we go to the movies (and maybe why they are made). What’s now missing is something as gossamer as film itself. Having been ‘grabbed’ by it in Titanic and most recently in Out of Sight I know it exists. It’s, I don’t know, it’s magic!”

Copping Twenty Million

It hasn’t yet gotten the attention the Art Buchwald case got, but I think that the $20 million award won by Francis Ford Coppola and producer Fred Fuchs over Pinnochio is perhaps the most important legal triumph in Hollywood in a long, long time. Why? Buchwald’s case came from an outsider, and the win was essentially a victory over business affairs. In reality, the win hasn’t done much more than to change the fine print in contracts and to, more than ever, close the gates of the kingdom off to “untrustworthy” outsiders (meaning those who don’t have enough of a stake in relationships to avoid litigation despite getting screwed).
The Coppola case is all about the heart and blood of studio business. Can studios safely continue to control and, as often as not, kill loads of projects a year so that no competing studio can make them? This jury seems to have preferred the logic of reasonability to the pure letter of the law. Warners wasn’t really willing to make Pinnochio, so why hold Coppola up? And Coppola’s attorneys went right after the WB hierarchy. WB’s movie co-chief took direct hits as “Where’s Bob Daly?” became the sing-song attack in closing argument. The movie business spends more money without signed deals than any industry in the world. But now, a lot of subtext that normally remains unwritten legally (and often unspoken) will have to be defined as this case shifts more power to the creative side. And defining language in contracts is the foundation of conflict.
With so many stars doing double duty as “producers,” will their agents now have the upper hand in untangling their weighed-down projects? And what about the thousands of screenplays that linger with years-old studio attachments that are too onerous to ever allow anyone else to consider making the films? And what about Bond, James Bond? MGM may well have the law on their side regarding anything more than one Bond film, directly based on Thunderball, at Sony. But will a jury side with MGM over Kevin McClory, who actually developed characters with Ian Fleming? Pandora’s Box may now be open.
ARMAGEDDON SPIN WATCH: The spin began in earnest over the weekend as Disney planted a story at The Hollywood Reporter that has unnamed “media executives” putting Armageddon‘s TV ad buys at no more than $15 million. Given their $2 million Super Bowl ad buy, the $5 million premiere at Cape Canaveral and the previous pervasive reports of TV spending in the $40 million range, does Disney really think anyone will believe this? This is even sillier than the $140 million budget figure that keeps being reported even though Disney passed that figure up months ago before the international add-ons and effects overruns. (Ironically, when Lucasfilm fesses up about increasing their budget by $40 million for Star Wars I, they get hammered and questioned. That’s why the major studios now make it a habit to lie about their budgets on big films more often than not.)
REFLECTIONS OF THE ARMAGEDDON: Meanwhile, Beacon Pictures, who brought us Air Force One, just hired commercial and video savant Marcus Nispel to make his feature-directing debut on the $100 million-plus Arnold Schwarzenegger film, End of Days. The Hollywood Reporter quotes “one observer” as saying, “Many studios are gravitating towards these hip, young directors because they have a new style that stimulates the MTV generation.” Was that before or after this weekend? Right now, the two hot directors of this summer are Mimi Leder and Betty Thomas. And F. Gary Gray, who came out of video but isn’t a high-gloss shooter, looks like he may end up being the most profitable transition guy of this year (with The Negotiator) as Bay, Antoine Fuqua, Kirk Wong, Spike Jonze and other guys flounder in their excesses. The verdict is still out on David Fincher, who could return to Seven-quality work with The Fight Club, currently in production.
TURNING INDIE DEPENDANT: When Miramax joined the Disney monolith, the studio and the mini-major started to battle over content. As a subsidiary of an MPAA signatory company, the studio could no longer release unrated films. Yet, releasing NC-17 product was considered a dangerous thing to do. Miramax won the battle over The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover. But those conflicts have died down a bit as Miramax has restrained itself from pushing that envelope as it’s become an even more commercially-oriented company, relying on thrillers from its young Dimension arm more than on “real” art films marketed to the high heavens.
But October Films, the studio that rode so high on the wave of truly artistic Oscar contenders in 1996 (Secrets & Lies and Breaking the Waves) has quickly buckled under the harness of Universal Pictures. The first film to be dumped by October is Todd Solondz‘s Happiness, which took Cannes by storm despite it content, which includes pedophilia, gunplay, onanism and human dismemberment. (Hey, folks, it’s a comedy! Kind of Solondz’s sick version of Woody Allen‘s Hannah and Her Sisters.) Note To Universal: The idea was to buy a company that could expand your range, not to buy an expansive company and have them stick to lame, CopLand-like, celebrity-driven arthouse films that won’t push any boundaries. Bad show, old sports.
READER OF THE DAY: As promised, here’s Ryan’s letter: “Dear Dave, The problem with Harry is the same problem with all journalists in the entertainment industry — they’ve successfully sucked the magic out of the movies. I don’t want to know what Harry thinks of Armageddon. I don’t care if he goes to the premiere and reviews it. It doesn’t matter. Since when were movies about press junkets and premieres?
And why just pick on Harry? He’s no different than the catty bitches that darken E!’s ‘The Gossip Show.’ The industry has reached a point where hype and anticipation are more important than films themselves. Titanic was all about how much it cost to make, how much it grossed worldwide, how many awards it won. And how many soundbites from teenage girls they could cram into a newscast. But it was never about the film. It was either about how the film would fail or why it became so successful. To the media and the industry, the film itself didn’t really matter.
This weekend I saw The Search with Montgomery Clift and My Own Private Idaho with River Phoenix. Two great actors, two great films, and two great performances. I didn’t think about what critics thought, what went into making them or the ultimate tragedies that befell the leading men. I thought about what it must have been like to have been an orphaned child in post-World War II Berlin. I thought about what River’s character must have been going through when he confesses his love to Keanu Reeves. I thought about what a shame it was that River and Monty are no longer around to make movies. I thought about what a blessing it was that these films were their legacy. That’s what the magic of the movies are all about. That’s what I’d like to see on a Website.
Ain’t It Cool News? Not really. Your own private Hollywood? No thanks. It’s the films that remain. It’s the Montgomery Clifts and the River Phoenixes that live on because their gifts are the kind that illuminate and educate. Theirs are the gifts that inspire a passion in people. They are the reason why I go to the movies. They are the reason why most people go to the movies. Not because of the hacks on the ‘The Gossip Show.’ Not because of the editors of Premiere, Entertainment Weekly, US, Variety etc. Not Mary Hart. Not CNN. And no, not because of rough cut. And certainly not because of a film geek like Harry Knowles. In other words Dave, don’t waste your time on people or subjects like Harry. Because that’s not what it’s about. That’s not what it should ever be about.”

Weekend Review

WOW!
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the blockbuster business, another limp opening. What in the name of Joel Silver is happening here?! I’m not completely sure myself. Many are simply expressing their relief that Armageddon won’t be influencing studios to attempt more Armageddons. (My new pull quote: “The most cynical film ever!”) But more is going on here than meets the box office weekend. I’m going to take a deep, deep breath and try to figure it out in time for Wednesday’s Ranting & Raving. In the meantime, watch Disney spin the emotional wreckage of Armageddon‘s $52.9 million five-day opening (plus Tuesday night preview). They can say what they want, but a $34.8 million three-day total, only $5.8 million more than the lightly hyped Dr. Dolittle managed last weekend, is a disaster of epic proportions. (Maybe they’ll release the “Audience Cut” with 40 minutes less footage.) Looks like Armageddon will be fighting uphill to reach the $150 million mark domestically.
The Doctor was in again as Dr. Dolittle dragged in $27.6 million over the five-day weekend ($19.8 million three-day) for second place, a fair distance behind my optimistic prediction (THB 07/03) but enough to stay well ahead of Armageddon in total gross with $77.1 million. Armageddon should pass the Doc next weekend, but not by much. Meanwhile, animated Eddie and the rest of the Mulan crew had another hun-ny of a weekend with a $16.9 million five-day total ($11.6 million 3-day), driving right past the $75 million mark. Small Soldiers will attack the kids next weekend, but a $125 to $135 million domestic total looks about right, pushing Mulan past Hercules and The Hunchback of Notre Dame and putting to rest the Disney-Is-Ripe-For-The-Taking buzz. (Thought I am still chuckling to myself about DreamWorks’ Antz maneuver. Brilliant and 100 percent guaranteed to have been planned for many months. You can rush Lethal Weapon 4 into theaters, but animation takes lots of time. I don’t think anyone’s ever had a major animated film in the can and waiting for release for six months before and I don’t think that was ever the real plan here.)
My beloved Out of Sight took fourth place, but dropped 46 percent, as though it were a bad movie, managing only an $8.7 million five-day draw ($6.5 million 3-day). Damn. The X-Files grabbed $9.2 million over the five-day ($6.4 million 3-day, a 51 percent drop) as it blew past the $65 million mark, though a $100 million domestic seems unlikely now. The Truman Show got right up in the face of the $110 million mark with a $7.6 million five-day and a $6.4 million 3-day for sixth place. And Six Days, Seven Nights was in seventh, followed by A Perfect Murder (which passed the $60 million mark), Hope Floats and The Horse Whisperer.
THE GOOD: For a change, reviewers around America found unity in their reasons for ripping Armageddon. Critics may hate the same films, but rarely do you read virtually the same comments from one, two or three of them. I did get a note from one reader who felt Roger Ebert was being a little too specific about his attacks, expecting too much reality. I’d agree, but outside of that, he was pretty dead-on.
THE GOOD, THE SEQUEL: Thanks for all the nice notes about the Harry Knowles letter (THB 07/04) that ran over the weekend. Honestly, I didn’t intend to give it such prime real estate, but such is the nature of forgotten holiday weekend deadlines. To answer the one recurring question — Why do I give a damn? — I can only say that I take all media outlets seriously, whether it’s in The L.A. Times, Premiere, Ain’t It Cool News or any other outlet. In fact, I’d like to take issue with the letter that ran in the ZENtertainment attacking Harry for writing that he cried during Armageddon. None of us can claim to know how Harry Knowles feels? Besides, the review isn’t the issue. I just can’t stomach Knowles moaning over people daring to question whether a self-proclaimed “fat redheaded kid from Austin” could be seduced by a major studio. Experienced men with millions in their pockets are seduced out here every day. As someone smarter than I once said, “If you don’t think you can be seduced, then either you are in denial or nobody’s ever wanted anything from you.”
THE BAD: Out of Sight is beginning to look a lot like a box office cousin to L.A. Confidential. But in this case, instead of Warner’s distribution department dropping the ball (by keeping L.A.C. in limited release too long), it was Universal’s newly-restructured marketing department. Have you seen Steven Soderbergh out there like you saw Quentin Tarantino out there last year with Jackie Brown? Have you seen Jennifer Lopez talking about playing a strong woman or have you seen photos of her backside (glorious though it may be) all over the place? And has Universal done anything to interest women in one of the gentlest romances to be put on screen in years?
THE UGLY: It’s beginning to look like there will be no $200 million movies this summer. Last summer, I was worried that there were no $300 million summer films. Obviously, Titanic proves movies can still gross mega-numbers, but the battles of summer are getting worse, not better.
TWO MOVIES EQUAL: The X-Files + Dr. Dolittle = The Dr. Dolittle Files. Scully and Mulder investigate the mystery of how a major movie star who picks up cross-dressers on the streets of L.A. can kick their asses at the box office. When the two detectives interview the cross-dresser before his/her mysterious death, he/she points to his/her fashionable skirt and says, “The truth is in there.”
JUST WONDERING: Do you think Disney is regretting their decision to step up their Bruckheimer franchise from the $80 million pre-Memorial Day summer movie business to the $140 million July 4 summer movie business? I do. And I’ll tell you what else. I think Armageddon would have been much better as a $90 million, 110-minute movie. In this case, lack of economy was more dangerous than any asteroid.
BAD AD WATCH: I was more than a little shocked to see the TV ad Fox was running for There’s Something About Mary on their network Sunday night. They throw away one of the most shocking and surprising visual jokes ever shot for a non-pornographic movie like it was just another lightweight punchline in another Disney comedy. (Pretty damned funny too.) And even more shocking, the Fox TV network aired it. Perhaps I wouldn’t have really gotten the joke had I not seen the movie. Maybe people won’t. It’s not well-explained in the ad, and I won’t describe it here in hopes that you missed the ad and will enjoy the surprise in a theater. But whatever happened to letting you wait until you get to the theater to get shocked?
TOMORROW: There have been a couple of great news stories since last Thursday. Francis Ford Coppola hit the jackpot. Disney is already covering their Armageddon tracks. October Films goes Hollywood for the first time since being purchased by Universal.
READER OF THE DAY: The actual ROTD today was Ryan, but the column is a little thick today and Ryan’s letter is quite long, so tune in tomorrow for Ryan and right now, enjoy 1st Runner-Up, Maniac: “At the pathetic home page for The Saint, there is a quote from Ron Brewington that says ‘The Saint is the bomb!.’ THE bomb? Not DA bomb? Now, who failed their Ebonics class?”

The Weekender

NEWS BY THE NUMBERS has the weekend off due to scheduling problems (Not mine. Hrmph!), so please accept my apologies.
I’ve decided to use the space this weekend for an open letter to Harry Knowles. Many of you read both of us daily and for those of you who don’t, I’ll let you know that Harry was invited to the Armageddon premiere. He went and he told the story as part of his review. He saw the film again and wrote a second review. As part of Review 2, Harry took the opportunity to whine a little and to wonder aloud why he was taking such grief for simply attending a premiere. So here is the answer:
Dear Harry,
There is a misunderstanding in the world that I somehow dislike you. I do not. But I do have concerns about your site and how it fits into the world of entertainment “journalism.” See, I’m not much of a fan of any of this stuff. In fact, I created my columns at rough cut in great part to give me a place to tear down the hypocrisy of this business. Not that I’m not as vulnerable as the next guy. But I live with that fear every day. And I make my choices about what I do and I don’t do with that in mind. I don’t go to every junket. I rarely go to premieres at all. But when I do go, I am working. I am doing the job. When you went to the Godzilla premiere or the Armageddon premiere, you weren’t working. You were being a guest. I think you are a very smart guy, but I don’t think that you know the difference between those two things yet. Sure you wrote about it, but if that were what your invitations were about, you would have been sent to a screening, like every other reviewer. You aren’t like Roger Ebert (as you suggest in your second review), working for Disney and getting bashed for his employment arrangement. Roger, as far as I know, doesn’t attend any junkets, premieres or do any interviews in which his expenses, air or otherwise, have been paid for by any studio. I can’t even say that. Roger is a guy who has been at this for decades. And whether people like him or hate him, he is a seasoned professional.
In the end, this problem, for those of us who are thoughtful about it, is the same as the problem with the central work on your site. You don’t take responsibility for understanding where the line is. With your media-induced popularity comes the demand from those of us who aren’t satisfied to root for you just because you are “the underdog” that you start to show a little responsibility. Disclosure isn’t responsibility. It takes more than that. If you go to the premiere, review the premiere. But you lose your right to review the movie. You review the movie, you’ve lost your right to go to the premiere and have your ass kissed. Them’s the rules, H-man. Get used to it.
And understand, your standing in Hollywood is based on the paranoia that drives this town. Your readers love the “exposing the big guys” element of your site, but the studio execs read you not for insight, but to make sure that you aren’t exposing their flaws. Disney and Sony didn’t bring you to their premieres to embrace you. They are trying to figure out how to control you. That’s THEIR job. Can’t blame them for doing that, can we? You want to be taken for more than another suck-up? Then don’t act like one. Don’t blame everyone else for your unwillingness to control yourself. Until you learn restraint, you will never be seen as more than your image. And you can do better than that. I mean that sincerely. As a good thing. I’m sure that I will get hell for this letter. I always get hell from your core fans when I say anything that can be perceived as negative about you. It’s one of the difficulties of this job.
Whether it’s you, The X-Files or Titanic, people who are passionate about subjects that I write about express themselves strongly. But that’s also the great part of this job. That’s what’s made you possible and what has allowed me to get paid to write like this instead of delivering trend pieces week in and week out for magazines like Entertainment Weekly. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just not a job I covet.) The readers are our barometer of when we do right and when we screw up. So keep them in mind before you start being so defensive. As in my real life, when the sentiment of the people who care about me (in this case, about my column) start pushing me in a direction, even if I think they are dead wrong at first, I can usually glean some significant insight when I let down my guard a little.
Lastly, I didn’t mean to make this a full column, but I had a lot to say to you and to so many people who read us both. This is a sensitive subject and I do get a lot of mail that starts, “I know you hate Harry, so here’s this …” I don’t hate you and I wanted to make sure that my position was clear and not just some short hard slap at your work. Had you not written your second review, clearly upset by the backlash and looking for the reasons for it, I wouldn’t have been writing this at all. But this open letter is not just about you. It’s about this profession. Being “the outsider” and “breaking all the rules” only works when you really are an “outsider.” Like the rest of us who have lost our innocence, it’s time for you to adjust your game. You don’t have to be a sell-out. But you are certainly as big as a small city newspaper reviewer in terms of “civilian” readership. Perhaps bigger. And you definitely have the ear of the entertainment press. So, step up or get stepped over. Phenom to forgotten is not an unusual leap here in Tinseltown.
And Harry … welcome to the jungle.

Weekend Preview

Gonna be an interesting weekend. Not so much because of Armageddon. The film should do between $65 and $75 million over the five-day weekend, easily outdistancing any other film. But the strong Monday/Tuesday showing of Dr. Dolittle suggests that word-of-mouth is pretty good on the film and a $35 million five-day draw is a distinct possibility, putting Dolittle around the $75 million mark in just two weeks. An extremely happy shock for Fox. Mulan should manage another $20 million over five days, putting it in range to be the most successful Disney film domestically since Toy Story. Another happy surprise. If there is a God (let’s all cross our fingers), Out of Sight will gather some momentum thanks to strong word-of-mouth. (Have I mentioned that it’s the best film yet this year?) Fourth place with a $14 million five-day total. And look for The Truman Show in fifth with about $10 million.
The Second Five should be led by The X-Files with about $9 million over five days. And look for Six Days, Seven Nights, A Perfect Murder, Hope Floats and The Horse Whisperer to fill out the Top Ten with numbers from $7 million down to $3 million for the five days.
THE GOOD: Summer is now here in full force. And the truth is, the films on the slop should be better than the holiday weekend extravaganzas this year. Lots of good films in the month to come. Hooray!
THE BAD: American Independence Day is, at the box office, neither about independence or just America anymore. You certainly can’t expect to win releasing an indie film. Nor is the American box office the primary source of revenue for films anymore. In fact, it’s rapidly becoming the third most significant revenue stream. But the studios, who certainly are beginning to adjust to that reality, still put all the pressure on the opening weekend because they feel “American box office drives all other revenue streams.” And when we do away with that self-fulfilling myth, better films will be made with less hype.
THE UGLY: I saw Armageddon Wednesday night and I was in shock at how bad it was. It made Deep Impact seem perfectly spiritual and, as any of you who are regulars know, I wasn’t much bowled over by D.I. Armageddon is the Lost In Space of the summer blockbusters. They blow up stuff real good, but they throw away any thought of sticking with the central compelling story and just go for the fireworks for two and a half hours. Here’s my pull quote: “If you like explosions, you’ll LOVE Armageddon!” And Disney knew it, adding the destruction of a city, after they saw the first assembly, for no other reason other than to keep the hyperactive brain-dead pace. God forbid we should be able to stick to the story for 20 whole minutes. I’ve already gotten letters from readers who liked the film and I don’t think anything I have to say should or will effect the weekend box office or your enjoyment of the film. So, I’ll shut up now. Let me know what you think and I’ll write about this in more depth next week after most of you will have seen this steroidal popcorn seller.
THE CONTEST: Click here to read the grossest entries in my The Beyond Eyeball Grossest Movie Moment Ever Contest. The entries are damned gross and quite graphic, so if you are squeamish, keep out! (And if you see your entry, send me your address so I can pack up your eyeball in dry ice and send it on its way.)
TWO BAD MOVIES EQUAL: Armageddon and Can’t Hardly Wait = “Can’t Hardly Wait For Armageddon To Be Over.” The story of a guy who writes about the movie business who spends more time being disappointed than getting what he wants: great movies. He’ll just have to make due with Out of Sight (Great), Saving Private Ryan (Very, Very Good), There’s Something About Mary (Very Good) and the other good movies that are already out there or about to be released.
BAD AD WATCH: Last word on Armageddon‘s “Wow!” from Ron Brewington. On Tuesday, The Wall Street Journal reported on the evolution of that pull quote, which basically indicated that Disney wanted a “Wow!” so they could place their asteroid in the middle of a quote and Ron, doing what he does every week, provided them what they wanted. And mysteriously, the “Wow!” disappeared on Wednesday, replaced by another great studio butt-kisser, Bill Zwecker of Chicago, who called it “The Blockbuster We’ve Been Waiting For!” A short-lived victory, but a victory nonetheless.
READER OF THE DAY: From J Norris: “Just got back from the opening night of Armageddon and before bad buzz comes in and knocks it, I must say that I was entertained the ENTIRE movie. It had all the elements of The Rock (also a Michael Bay vehicle); all the comedy and action. Of course, there were some of “those scenes.” You know, every movie has them. Speed had the bus-jumping scene, and Con Air (which I hated) had the plane landing in Vegas. But Armageddon actually made me laugh for the first hour and I was on my seat the entire time … just thought you may like the early review from a loyal reader.”

Armageddon

Disney’s Armageddon premiere at Cape Canaveral was apparently a mixed bag of excess and screw-ups on Monday night. (I wasn’t there. If you want an extensively-detailed, first-hand account, try Harry’s excited report. Ironically enough, the evening after the There’s Something About Mary junket ended up being more fun, more human and more real than any “event” I’ve ever attended, so no regrets here.) Turns out Bruce Willis did show up, though he was in photo-opportunity-only mode. Also turns out the electricity in the air was literal, and camera crews from all over the world had a hard time getting clean video from the premiere. Oh well, Disney only dropped about $5 million on the purely promotional event, so no biggie. (tee-hee)
Also coming out of the event and the entire Armageddon hype machine was a great (not exaggerating) story by The Wall Street Journal (the one truly journalistic entertainment media outlet, and the only one I ever hope to match for insight) on Tuesday’s front page. Unfortunately, because the WSJ is a paid site, I can’t link you to the story, but it spoke to the hype. It spoke to the origins of the film (Disney’s Joe Roth bought the title Armageddon from big-budget schlockmeister Joel Silver in exchange for the titles Conspiracy Theory and Father’s Day). It spoke to the enormous ad budget for the film (more than $50 million), plus the internal issues over how to view it (pure action or young love story?) because they need women to attend the shoot-’em-up in order to do truly massive numbers. Exceptionally good coverage. Go to the dentist, go to the doctor or go to a library, but check it out. (And thanks to readers who wrote to point out the article. Read it in the airport Tuesday morning with a Fox exec who got a lot of laughs out of it… particularly given Dr. Dolittle‘s rather low-hype $29 million weekend.)
ON GOOFY STREET: In other very happy Disney news (that was irony, Mike!), Disney stock fell 7.2 percent Tuesday when Wall Street types put the evil eye on the company’s investment ratings and earnings estimates. Why? Had nothing to do with Armageddon, Mulan or the fact that the company was once in business with Pauly Shore. It was soft overseas consumer merchandise sales and home video sales that caused the 8 and one-eighth point drop. It was the biggest one-day drop since 1989. And ironically, with as massive a company as Disney is now, even a $120 million five-day opening for Armageddon (not that I predict that) wouldn’t increase the stock price by that much.
JUST WONDERING: In other financial news, News. Corp, parent of 20th Century Fox is taking 20 percent of the entertainment side of the corporation public to the tune of about $4 to $5 billion. Do you think this has anything to do with Rupert Murdoch‘s on-again, off-again divorce?
YOU SAY YOU WANT A DEVOLUTION: Warner Bros. continues to evolve, but into what? Word has it that they are talking to The X-Files movie director Rob Bowman about helming the stalled Arnold Schwarzenegger project, I Am Legend, replacing the previously attached director, Ridley Scott. I know I’ll get mail from X-philes (and again, I liked The X-Files movie, I just didn’t love it), but Ridley Scott to Rob Bowman is like Reggie Jackson to Cecil Fielder. Or for the non-sports-enthusiasts, like Jerry Lewis to Carrot Top or from Da Vinci to Warhol or from The Beatles to Oasis. Neither sucks. Both are popular. But one is a worldbeater and the other is a high quality craftsman. Getting gun shy about spending won’t help Warner Bros. Either make smaller movies or spend the dollars. Don’t try to make big movies on small dollars. That will make current employees legend. Unemployed legends of failure.
JURASSIC PARK 3: THE LOST INTEREST: Universal is going forward to the past with a third installment of Jurassic Park without Spielberg at the helm, but with Steve and Michael Crichton developing the story. (Can you say “three dinosaurs?”) Keep in mind that the third Jaws film was in 3-D. Could this become the trend? (The tagline for The Lost World, given Spielberg’s only emotionally unenthusiastic work of his career, should have been “This time, it’s impersonal!”) Look for the Jeff Goldblum character to be played by a body double a la Captain Pike from Star Trek, unrecognizable in a “yes/no” chair after stuttering himself into a series of debilitating strokes. Watch in horror as his red light flashes repeatedly when the Malcolm McDowell character and the Dennis Hopper character try to outevil one another by torturing a baby raptor in the raptor nest with Mama Raptor (voiced by Shelley Long) is on her way home. (Did I get the idea across that I don’t think this is the best idea?)
BOX OFFICE OOPS: I gave a little too much credit to New Line’s marketing campaign for Gone With the Wind last week. The film was only on eight screens, so its $82,386 gross would have to be considered “really good,” not “really disappointing.” My bad.
READER OF THE DAY: Tim C. wrote: “Hope you saw The Wall Street Journal’s page-one story yesterday about Armageddon, which explains that awful Armageddon ‘Wow’/Ron Brewington ad. Apparently, from the start, Disney’s been planning on getting a one-word blurb from one of the quote whores, ‘preferably with an O in the middle,’ so that they could use the comet logo to fill in the ‘O.’ Brewington explains that Disney called him up to ask him what he thought of the film, and he replied, ‘Wow! What a great film!’ Which I’m sure is exactly how things happened… (Other possibles for a short blurb with an ‘O’ in the middle: ‘Good!,’ ‘God!,’ ‘Ow!,’ ‘Pop!,’ ‘Doh!,’ ‘How?,’ ‘Mom!’ and, of course, ‘Ron!’)”

Ranting and Raving

Last weekend I saw Out of Sight and Saving Private Ryan. And I was reminded of the difference between movies and cinema. It is possible for a film to be more than just so-much product pumped out by the studios and on to our TVs in ads and marketing in an intensity greater than most of the films come close to deserving. It can be art. Two men made that apparent. The Stevens — Spielberg and Soderbergh. Both did it by moving the form forward by taking some backwards steps. Both made films that will be remembered for years to come, long after The X-Files is remembered as a movie and long after Godzilla and Armageddon are just familiar boxes on the video shelf.
With Out of Sight, Steven Soderbergh makes a giant leap forward as a director. You could see the hints of it before. Obviously, sex, lies and videotape is significant, but it was in so many ways a writer’s and actor’s film. Soderbergh went for style with Kafka, his second film, but failed to hold the story together enough to make it much more than an exercise in style. King of the Hill was a wonderful, loving film, but limited to art houses because it simply wasn’t made for prime time. And The Underneath was very stylish and very interesting, but had no stars to draw a crowd, and the film screamed for multiple viewings before really “getting it.” Soderbergh also did what was basically an experimental film for Universal called Schizopolis and directed a screen version of a Spaulding Gray stage performance called Gray’s Anatomy, but never just the right niche. Until Out of Sight.
The film hits some of the notes of The Underneath, but tells a much cleaner, much simpler story. And that’s not a bad thing. The clean story, from the prolific pen of Elmore Leonard and second-time Elmore adapter, Scott Frank, allowed Soderbergh to add all the visual texture and subtext he could want to add without worrying about the story going wrong. And the look he went for, with the remarkable assistance of cinematographer Elliot Davis, was straight out of the early ’70s, the era that so many feel offered the best cinema of the last 30 years. Grain, complex editing (by the always awesome Anne V. Coates), freeze frames that restart after a beat and visual choices that allowed us to feel that we just watching the actors work when in fact we were watching some intricate camera work.
Plus, the casting was daring, but impossible to imagine differently after seeing the film. Clooney, shucking his “awe shucks” modesty and showing us how much he really wants something while staying cool the whole time. Jennifer Lopez, who besides being celebrated for having the body of a woman, carries herself with a strength that screams superstar. How can you not fall in love with these two falling in love? Ving Rhames, as usual, never hits a wrong note. Don Cheadle has the right words to play, finally, as a modern-day hoodlum. (His great performance as Mouse in Devil in a Blue Dress was in a period piece.) And Steve Zahn makes a great comic foil without losing touch with reality.
This is a serious love story with comic moments. A true romance which no man can put asunder. A love that is strengthened by the difficulties and not diminished by them. And a piece of filmmaking by Soderbergh that reaches beyond just being a movie. The film takes you into its arms early on, even before it’s completely clear what’s going on in the story. It doesn’t matter because you feel like you know each character within seconds of meeting them. You feel Clooney’s frustration through one simple movement, the removal of a tie. Soderbergh makes you feel the moment by hitting the notes that we can all understand. Same with Lopez. We sense her honor from the first moment we meet her. And we sense her vulnerability as Soderbergh takes his time (when’s the last time you saw that?) showing her defenses wear down. We feel her joy and fear and passion and concern when she feels someone passing through the brick wall she’s constructed in front of her heart.
Feeling is unavoidable in Steven Spielberg‘s Saving Private Ryan. There has never been as raw a battle sequence as Spielberg crafts in the opening minutes of this film. The sound alone assaults your ears with a barrage that is overwhelming. Add the men dying. But the deaths are not easy in this film. A man who is shot in the head, causing immediate death, seems almost a relief in this scene. How could you keep your usual sense of humanity with this world of death whirling around you? You can’t. Nor can the viewer. Spielberg did this intentionally, so that the shock of war would be as real to the viewer as it is for the five green soldiers than go on the journey to save Pvt/ Ryan.
Once we finally get off the beach (and believe me, it’s an emotional relief), you realize the entire film has been drained of color. Again, Spielberg did that on purpose, draining most of the color in processing to emulate the documentaries that survived the war. It’s not just some artistic conceit. This is, again, an attempt by the artist to allow his audience to see through new eyes without having to do it consciously. Saving Private Ryan is not a film that glorifies the violence or even the heroism of war. It tries to tell the absolute truth. To honor the men who gave their lives during World War II so that we might be the America we are today (for better or worse). And Spielberg uses every cinemagraphic trick in the book to achieve this. And he succeeds. The performances are strong and the Oscar buzz will be intense. Far more intense than for Out of Sight.
But both of these films and filmmakers understand the history of film and the advantages that previous eras afford the work. In an era that simply barrels forward with computer graphics by any budget necessary, not too many guys are still working with a chisel and a rock. But these men do, certainly taking advantage of some modern technique, but using them only when necessary. They paint the story. They hold you in their hands and take you on their journeys without ever letting you see the strings. And the road is a beautiful one. Art in cinema makes my heart sing. And last weekend, my cardiovascular system was in full aria.
READER OF THE DAY: “You know, I was reading last week about The X-Files, and I was wondering why you didn’t think The X-Files was at least as good as Mulan. I thought it was and better. My mom did not like Mulan for the same reasons that she didn’t like The Lion King, and that is that things like violence and war just don’t fit the G rating as it suggests. It should be more like PG than G. I just need an answer on The X-Files because why can’t it be as good as Mulan. You’re right about the other critics saying Mulan is just another Disney movie, and it’s not. It really is a good movie, just not a really good kids movie. I’ll look for your answer soon. Signed, Zach C., age 13, Movie Buff, X-Files Fan.”

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon