Posts Tagged ‘Mike Myers’

Bart the Bear

Wednesday, October 1st, 1997

Bart makes as much as $10,000 a day for his movie work, before residuals. He’s had major parts in over 20 movies to date, yet has never had to learn a line of dialogue. And he contributes a part of his earning to charity every year, but never signs a check. Sounds like a guy who you’d want your daughter or sister to date, huh? I forgot to mention that he weighs 1,800 pounds and eats his sushi with the skin on. Bart is the bear who hunts Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin in The Edge. Good thing he can’t fit in a Beemer or he’d be tooling around Rodeo Drive, cruising for fur coats. But, he can get you Sir Anthony Hopkins‘ home phone number.
Stone is back and it ain’t Sharon! Twentieth Century Fox is bringing the Romancing the Stone series back, probably as a Michael Douglas vehicle. Given the fact that Douglas is now old enough to be the stone, let’s try some new titles: “Romancing Alone,” “My Hair Has Stopped Grow’n,” “Romancing Old Crones,” “I’d Like To Be Prone,” “Romancing The Clone” or “Romance Without Bone.” Please feel free to email your new titles.
The proliferation of meteor films — Armageddon and Deep Impact — is no longer concentrated on U.S. shores. Continuing a diverse acting repertoire, Mike Myers has agreed to star with Brenda Fricker and Boogie Nights star Alfred Molina in Meteor, a drama written and directed by Irish playwright Joe O’Byrne. Variety says it’s a dark coming-of-age story about three children in a Dublin slum whose lives are changed when a huge meteor crashes into their backyard. Shooting starts November 10, when Myers completes his work as disco denizen Steve Rubell in 54, and before he stars in MGM’s remake of The Court Jester.
The Whole Picture delves into the dark side of entertainment journalism this week.
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Box Office and Movie News

Wednesday, September 3rd, 1997

The box office story was so weak this weekend that making jokes would seem cruel. Why kick a conquered Kull? Why tease Alicia about being excess baggage? Why rip Charlie Sheen (even the studio dropped Sheen to the background and put money man Chris Tucker front and center in the new ads) when Money Talks is doing so well? Why? Cause it’s my job! (Mom’s so proud!)
Salma Hayek‘s joining Mike Myers and Neve Campbell in 54, the Miramax offering about the ’70s disco House O’ Fun, Studio 54. In yet another insightful bit of Hollywood casting, Hayek plays the Hispanic servant girl (in this case, a hat check girl) while the other Anglo stars play the power roles of club owner and soap starlet. The more things change… On the other hand, just the thought of Ms. Hayek panty-free and wired at 5 a.m. is giving me a testosterone rush that makes me want to chew glass.
Speaking of hormonal overload, E! is selling the story that last weekend’s Men In Black newspaper ads featured an Appendage In Shadow that would make grandma blush. Quick, somebody send a Bacardi ad and a magnifying glass over to E! I’m sure they painted an orgy into the ice! You know, kids, sometimes a neuralyzer is just a neuralyzer.