Kate Winslet took ill just before attending the London premiere of James Cameron‘s Titanic. This time it wasn’t drugged chowder, but apparently a stomach flu she caught on location in Morocco. Cameron got 20th Century Fox to hire 700 doctors, flown in from across the globe and costumed in 19th Century costumes, to hold the bucket while Ms. Winslet vomited. Meanwhile, a crew of 2,000 workers built a replica of a 1926 London hospital Mr. Cameron once saw in a book. The only studio comment was from Paramount, laughing, “Screw Fox! It didn’t cost us anything! So, is it time to make another Chris Farley movie yet?”
Fugitive producer Arnold Koppelson has bought “Jenny Hanniver,” a thriller about two cryptozoologists — scientists who search for new species — who find a new monstrous creature and a woman who has a symbiotic relationship with it. Early reports that Roseanne will be the woman with Tom Arnold as the creature are false, though Warren Beatty is willing to play the creature opposite Annette Bening if the creature turns out to be a 38-year-old stud seen only in soft focus.
And you thought a live-action movie about “Bullwinkle” cartoon villains Boris and Natasha was a bad idea? At least they were humans who spoke. Next up is Mad Magazine’s Spy vs. Spy. You know, those two kinda crow things, one black and one white, who keep blowing each other up, never saying a word. Expect the movie to have almost nothing to do with the comic, except for the idea of competing spies. Then, there’s the new DreamWorks project. Imagine Toy Story, but where only the toys are computer animated and everything else is real. That’s pretty much the gimmick in Small Soldiers … Wait a minute! Whatever happened to “don’t ask, don’t tell?” The weekend is here. Will Monday prove yesterday’s predictions were right?
Actors aren’t the only Hollywooders who deviously deal. What film industry folk deserve to go to hell? E-mail in your suggestions — your silence helps no one.