By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com
Mad About The Boy
You have to admire a gal for sticking with her dream. Madonna is hooking up with the infinitely more charming and talented actor Rupert Everett in The Next Best Thing. It’s the story about best friends who decide to have a baby together before the biological clock runs out. Madonna plays Jennifer Aniston. OK, I lied. Jennifer Aniston has had a more successful film career than Madonna.
THAT TINY SUCKING SOUND: Jonathan Lipnicki is taking his cute-kid-with-glasses-and-a-lisp act to The Little Vampire. It’s the story of a little kid who becomes buddies with a little vampire. Watch for the Jerry Maguire mini-star to offer a variation on his signature line, “Do you know that a quart of human blood weighs 3 pounds?”
YOUNG LOVE: Lolita has finally found her place in the sun. She’ll premiere on Showtime (the cabler who had the exclusive on Showgirls), starting this August. This has been a long-winded saga, but it is now finally over. Someday, someone will find out the real story behind all this. It still makes no sense that if the producer (Guild-Pathe) was willing to make the right deal, that Miramax or October wouldn’t release the film in the U.S. No doubt they’ve released far more controversial material. I still think the budget ($58 million) meant the asking price was just too high. All this controversy will be more valuable in the home video and foreign markets than a $10 million 300-screen domestic release. And by the way, all of this inspired me to read the Vladimir Nabokov classic while on vacation last week. It was great. Better than I would have ever guessed. I haven’t seen the current version, but the novel is one of the funniest pieces of writing you could ever read. Just terrific. I hate to recommend reading, but have someone rip the cover off the book before you start and you’ll never know the difference.
N IS FOR NUMBSKULL: Quentin Tarantino continues not to get it. The New York Post‘s Page Six reports that QT got into a brawl at a restaurant. (Just like with his last fight. Maybe it’s a blood sugar problem.) Turns out that Tarantino was explaining to his companions that African-Americans have wide noses by sticking his fingers up his nose, spreading his nostrils and saying, “You know what they all have! It’s the wide nose!” What brilliant dialogue! I guess the black couple who overheard this delightful comedic insight and took offense simply didn’t understand why a gawky white boy should be given a free ride when it comes to racial disrespect. Or maybe they had just seen Jackie Brown. When controversy cropped up over the use of one particularly ugly racial slur at least a 100 times in that film, Quentin explained that the term was just part of the world in which he grew up. Doesn’t sound like he grew up at all.
U OUGHT TO KNOW BETTER: Universal owner Edgar Bronfman Jr. seems to have a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease. First, he got smacked around for suggesting premium pricing for movies while his company has very few premium movies. In his capacity as owner of Seagrams, he’s been open about wanting more liquor advertising. Now, he’s in New York Magazine calling Hollywood a “dumb town.” I can’t say I disagree with that last sentiment, but you better show you can tame this monster before calling everyone else stupid. Right now, Bronfman, as a studio owner, seems like Bill Holden in Sunset Boulevard — floating dead in the water while narrating his own story. (Sorry if I ruined the ending for any of you. It has been 48 years.)
The company has lost Spielberg, is almost completely beholden to Imagine Entertainment (which has led to speculation that Imagine producer Brian Grazer will take over Universal) and seems to be without a clear direction, other than down. Bronfman is also freewheeling in shooting barbs at former Universal chairman Lew Wasserman. After all, Wasserman only built and maintained a major studio, from before TV and into the video age. He built the only studio theme park, outside of Disney, of any value, giving his studio consistent cash flow in less successful years in the movie business.
And while all the other studios were maintaining their lots or selling off parcels for condos, Wasserman was expanding his backlot, again creating another consistent income stream. In his final years, there were barbs to throw at Wasserman and his team, no doubt, but blaming the previous management only holds for so long. Besides, it would be a lot smarter to shut up and let Warner Bros. take all the heat. The difference is this: WB toppers Semel and Daly know that blaming others won’t work. You’ve got to just keep going. That’s why they have seen studio heads and owners change at every studio in town over their tenure. They’re the sole survivors. And I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Bronfman.
CONTEST WINNER: Only three of you got the top four right. And two got the Top Five, Joe Oliver of Granite City, IL and Feng-Ying Shih of Bryn Mawr, PA. (Yeah, you’ll get something for hitting the Top Four, Donovan Pagtakhan of Vancouver, BC.) This week, it’s Deep Impact and Woo opening wide. And this week’s top contest winner will get prizes from both. Runner-ups will just Woo it! Start calculating now!
READER OF THE DAY: Michael P wrote: “Can you tell me why Gwyneth Paltrow is being such a bitch bad mouthing Titanic right and left? (I read this in TV Guide around the time of the Oscars. She said, ‘I’d rather anything win than Titanic.’ She has also been quoted in several tabloids saying she does not know what everyone sees in Titanic.) After three film flops in a row, she must be secretly wishing she hadn’t turned down the role of Rose in Titanic. Or maybe she was turned down for the role. I will not pay to see another film of hers!”