Ever wonder what happened to the heat around Francis Ford Coppola after Dracula hit? Well, he was pouring it into his version of Pinocchio, but the film never got made because he couldn’t settle on a deal with Warner Bros. Meanwhile, Warner Bros. put the kabosh on Coppola’s efforts to set a deal for the project over at Sony by claiming they retained the rights. Not pretty. But now it’s coming to a courtroom near you! (Well, near me.) Coppola’s court date with Warner Bros. is here. Usually, a lawsuit against a studio that actually gets all the way to court is a death sentence for the talent. But this isn’t just some guy. This is Coppola. Just don’t look for him to be directing the next Batman or the sequel to The Postman for Warner Bros.
SPARE THE ROD: Speaking of stalled WB projects, Nicolas Cage gave up on making a movie of the Iron Man comic book when he took on Superman Lives. But while Superman sits, Iron Man is at play, as rumors have started circulating that Tom Cruise may take on the role of multi-billionaire industrialist Tony Stark and his super iron-plated alter ego, Iron Man. (I hope I haven’t ruined the movie for anyone.) Personally, I still think Cage would be the perfect Tony Stark. As for the height-challenged (but still beautiful) Mr. Cruise, if they ever make a movie about Bucky, Captain America‘s wartime sidekick, he da man! (Sorry if 80 percent of you don’t get the joke. Hey, I’m still more comprehensible than Dennis Miller.)
THE PORN SCORN: The fun never ends at Universal. After all the turmoil of the last months, now they have a little problem of the Disney/Miramax variety. October Films, which was brought under the Universal tent after a strong Oscar showing in 1997, has four movies pushing the border of the NC-17 rating: Orgazmo, the porno industry/bodily function comedy from “South Park” co-creator Trey Parker. Todd Solondz’s Happiness, which won Solondz a special award at Cannes for “its bold tackling of controversial contemporary themes, richly-layered subtext, and remarkable fluidity of visual style.” The controversial contemporary theme is pedophilia, which is also a potentially NC-17 rated theme of Thomas Winterberg‘s Festen (aka The Celebration) which was co-winner of the Jury Prize. Last, but certainly not least potentially offensive film to the MPAA, is Breaking the Waves director Lars Von Trier’s The Idiots (aka Dogma 95), which features an orgy with lots of male frontal nudity and X-rated penetration. There’s some talk that October will use distortion techniques to make the film R-ratable.
But why would October care about any of these films, most of all Van Trier’s and Winterberg’s getting an NC-17? Neither film has any chance of breaking out of the art house circuit. Under those circumstances, October would normally reject the MPAA rating and release the film unrated. The controversy might even draw in curious gawkers. But now, as part of Universal, October is forced to have all of their films rated. And an NC-17 means that newspapers like the New York Times won’t accept advertising. In the very beginning of their relationship with Disney, Miramax created a separate distribution arm in order to release one of these “adult” films, but not since. They have conformed as necessary. We’ll know in the next months how it gets handled by October and Universal. Given his proclivities, perhaps Edgar Bronfman Jr. will sell the company and then buy it back two weeks after the film opens.
REALLY DIRTY WORK: Don’t look for ads for MGM’s Dirty Work, the June 12 release that has been in the can longer than most items on your grocer’s shelves, on “Saturday Night Live,” even though the film stars SNL-alum Norm MacDonald. The nix was put on the ad buy by the same guy who put the nix on MacDonald, NBC West Coast President Don Ohlmeyer. This would be a great issue of censorship if the movie didn’t suck so horribly, which brings to mind a singularly inane story in Tuesday’s Los Angeles Times. The story was about how the quest for PG-13 ratings for comedies has softened the powerful wit of movie comedy. One problem. The example that they used was Dirty Work. And the one joke they used as an example was a hilarious joke about prison rape. God, I can’t believe that we are going to have to go without that!
MOVIE FLEA MARKET: Remember last January when Paramount sold the TV rights to Titanic to NBC for $30 million because no one knew that Titanic, which opened nicely, but was still looking like a $150 million domestic hit at maximum, was going to be the first billion dollar movie? The deal so upset co-producer Fox that threats of suits filled the air. Well, here’s a reversal on that story. Godzilla, which was being held up from a TV sale in the quest for the biggest TV sale possible, has had to settle for a $25 million, 5-run sale to NBC. Sony was looking for at least $35 million. This time, a studio was caught waiting too long. And once again, NBC won the war.
SPICE ADVICE: I guess we have to talk Spice Girls. I mean, they did have a hit movie. Let’s just say that the exit of Ginger should have about as much effect as the exit of Suzanne Somers from “Three’s Company.” In fact, the only real difference between the two exiting femme fatales is that in her nude-pictures-from-her-past, Ginger turned out to have bigger boobs than Somers. I’m not sure whether this will help her career. In American Showbiz 1998, they are still too small to land a role on “Baywatch.” (If Ginger marries Tommy Lee, I’m retiring from this business once and for all!) Anyway, there was one great story on the exit. It was in the New York Daily News, and the reporter was talking to psychologists about how to handle this potentially serious blow to an over-Spiced girl. The advice: “Invite [the children] to talk about it and don’t judge or minimize how they are feeling. Try to explain that some things are unfair. Encourage the child not to generalize.” I say, buy them some Motown and teach them what a real girl group sounds like.
THE NEW CONTEST: OK, so there’s no banner for it, but the Summer Movie Race has begun. You have $100 to bet in each summer month (June, July and August) to pick the movies you think can clean up. And there are odds on each, just like at the races. But you can’t sit on your hands, here. The odds will change every week. It’s a little complex, but what else would you expect from me. And did I mention that the winner gets a DVD player?
READER OF THE DAY: Erin wrote: “I’m feeling inspired. Two Bad Movies Equal: Hope Floats + Hope Floats = Hope Bloats. Sandra Bullock is dumped on a national talk show by her husband because she retains too much water. She packs up her stuff and daughter, puts it all on her shoulders, and floats down the river to mama’s house in Texas, where she suffers from extreme, inordinate PMS symptoms and munchies and eats the town alive — wait, that’s another bad movie. Chris Farley co-stars.”

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