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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

'Borat' Premiere Unplugged; Kazakh Enemies Suspected

Blame the enemies of Kazahkstan!
Sacha Baron Cohen‘s highly anticipated Toronto Film Festival movie premiere was a bust, despite the actor/writer’s triumphant midnight carriage ride through downtown Toronto. Only twenty minutes into his riotiously well-received comedy/satire, BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHKSTAN, the cinema’s sole film projector broke down.


Baron Cohen, who’d been sitting toward the back of the theatre, stood up and apologised, saying that film had been made from first class “Kazahk horse glue. Festival staff kept the audience of 1200 on edge with promises of a quick restart of the film, which has the Baron Cohen a brazenly naïve TV reporter touring the United States and sharing his version of bringing his version of Kazakh culture to unwitting American subjects. Among Borat’s New York City adventures: kissing horrified strangers on the subway, washing his undergarments in Central Park’s Lake, and masturbating in front of a Victoria’s Secret window display. The crowd loved it it. “This has been the happiest day of my life,” Borat says, in voice over narration. Shortly afterward, the screen went dark.

The film’s director, Larry Charles, and documentary Michael Moore, who’d once worked as a cinema projectionist, attempted to entertain the crowd before Baron Cohen returned, in character, to do a better job of consoling the audience.

”I would like to apologise and also, I will crush you,” he said. demand that the festival programmer give one one of his testicle.”

A spokesman for the Festival announced that another ”Borat” showing is scheduled for tonight, Friday, at midnight at the Elgin Theatre. See the Festival website for details. Borat will be there. No word on the pony.

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon