

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com
Sequels, Prequels, Babyfications
Newsweek, noting the existence of BATMAN BEGINS, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING, and refreshed 007 in CASINO ROYALE, has an overview of movie-prequels This is great! My nephew loves A PUP NAMED SCOOBY DOO and FLINTSTONE KIDS.
On the horizon: new installments in the HALLOWEEN and FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH movies, featuring earlier adventures of Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees. (Or maybe Jason’s mother, when she was young.)
There’s also HANNIBAL RISING. Director Peter Webber (THE GIRL WITH THE PEARL EARRING) says the movie will cover a time period well before the starting point of THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS and RED DRAGON, leaving room for sequels to the prequel. French actor Gaspard Ulliel (A Very Long Engagement) will portray adolescent Hannibal Lecter, who’s sad because during WWII, Nazi soldiers ate his sister. Don’t get Hannibal wrong. All the killing and cannibalism he does later on isn’t his fault–it’s because Nazis friggin’ suck.
So many successful movies could get a shot of new life with youth casting. Who could object to LI’L DIRTY HARRY, in which our favorite sociopathic enforcer dishes out lethal justice on the playground? Or for a more socially responsible audience, the bassinet-berserkings of BABY BILLY JACK. Solve mysteries with YOUNG SHERLOCK HOLMES! Oh, wait. They did that one already. Time to do it again. Maybe another TERMINATOR?
TERMINATOR 3000 BC
In ancient China, a really early version of The Killing Machine from the Future dreams of one day killing an ancestor of John Conner. (But there’s a complication. If the Abacus succeeds, how could there be a TERMINATOR and a John Conner? Paradox! Another problem: abacuses not very dangerous. Must. Think. Harder.