By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com
NYC's Asian Film Guru Hendrix in Company of 'Wolves'
Over at the sweaty film orgy that is Cinemarati, Andrew Grant recently had a go at the controversial new film Valley of the Wolves: Iraq. A churlish little curio that The Times disclosed is the most expensive Turkish picture ever made, Wolves has earned more than its share of stateside criticism for anti-American depictions of torture, civilian deaths and Turkish prisoners of war. Better yet, actors Billy Zane and Gary Busey have drawn fire for their roles in the film–the latter as “a Jewish doctor who removes organs from Iraqi prisoners and sends them off to patients in America, Israel, and the UK.”
But while Grant references an episode of MSNBC’s Scarborough Country in which Catholic League president William Donahue wanly protests that such actors would “sodomize their own mother [sic] in a movie, if asked to do so,” he omits one mega-important factor: Also joining Donahue and Scarborough was Grady Hendrix–blogger extraordinaire, co-founder of the New York Asian Film Festival and the segment’s official Sacrificial Liberal Lamb.
And bless his heart, Hendrix journaled every last detail of the encounter over on Kaiju Shakedown:
They told me there’d be cookies. That’s what the producers promised me. “Oh, you’re in Media 3? We’ve got great cookies there.” But when I showed up what did I find? Three lone chocolate chip cookies on a paper plate sitting at the reception desk like something left out for Santa Claus. With only three cookies I couldn’t bring myself to take one, it would be like taking the last piece of cake. These cookies weren’t a yummy treat. These cookies were a trap for the unwary. Sort of like the show itself. …
Honestly, Hendrix’s deposition is one of the funniest and most engaging things I have read online in months. Grab a few more prime nuggets after the jump, and make sure you get the full-on, talk-show clusterfuck experience at MSNBC’s Web site.
A producer called and told me that host Chuck Scarborough “responds well to facts” and that the other guest was going to be William Donahue, president of the Catholic League. The make-up woman told me my skin was very well moisturized and problem-free. …
“Keep your mouth closed so you don’t look like stupid,” said one. “Don’t touch your face or clear your throat. It’s called ‘respiratory avoidance’ and it makes it look like you’re lying.” …
There wasn’t even a camera, just a lens on the wall. A long, dildo-like earpiece, covered in alcohol, was inserted into my right ear; an experience akin to getting a Wet Willie that just won’t stop. … My only connection to the show was the Wet Willie, which was barking instructions at me: “Don’t look away from the lens. Sit up!” In the background I could hear Scarborough’s voice talking about anti-American extremists and that’s when I realized what I was: the designated extremist. …
This was a political debate and (Scarborough) had just said “Whatever”? The word that makes parents see red. The word that is the conversational nuclear option for tweens? “Whatever? What are you guys?” I asked. “A couple of teenage girls?” I began to laugh and threw the “whatever” W but the camera had cut away and the conversation was over. I would like to take this moment to apologize to teenage girls. I know teenage girls and Donahue and Scarborough are no teenage girls.