Old MCN Blogs
David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

L.A. Officially Responsible For the Shittiest Film Ever Made

People often ask me the source of my deep loathing for Los Angeles. Really, it comes from a variety of sources: the Dodgers and Lakers; the sprawl; the aloofness; the psychosis of Hollywood; the fact that it is just not New York… the list goes on. And while I know we have our own repellent social hiccups in New York from time to time, “artist” Martin Creed’s latest film projects renew my earnest, eager prayers for an earthquake or plague or flood or whatever combination of quasi-biblical scourges might finally relieve this reeling nation of its most devastating cultural burden:

Former Turner Prize winner Martin Creed is putting the finishing touches to his Sick Film. For want of a gentler way of putting it, the project involves 19 separate takes of people vomiting to camera. …

Speaking from Los Angeles last week, the artist told the Guardian about his new work, the Shit Film. As the title suggests, this will involve footage of people defecating to camera. It will be shot on widescreen CinemaScope against the backdrop of an “infinity curve” – an apparently seamless background that gives the impression of there being no horizon line between the floor and the wall. It will get its first airing at the MC Gallery in Los Angeles early next month.

Despite the fact that it will be a closed set (even Creed will leave the studio for each take), he foresees more difficulties in trying to get people to perform this intensely personal act than in persuading people to throw up – although the inhabitants of LA have proved more than willing. “We haven’t long been advertising and have already secured 15 people. Perhaps that’s because LA represents the extreme edge of the world; it’s the ideal home for all the world’s drop-outs and all the world’s drop-ins.”

Indeed. Bring on the locusts.
(Photo: Martin Creed, Work No. 547)

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7 Responses to “L.A. Officially Responsible For the Shittiest Film Ever Made”

  1. rave byron says:

    One guy drinks a gallon of boat paint and makes like Jackson Pollock. Wait for the DVD.

  2. Stacy's Mom says:

    Maybe we can let the Islamists have just L.A.

  3. S Bennett - Capt. 747 says:

    Till today I had no idea what the “Defamer” section was. But I’m on a crew layover in Dubai and it’s 47C outside. So I have nothing better to do than sit in my hotel room and cruise the net. Apparently this “Defamer” web site is a put down of the so called “pop culture” Hollywood scene. I’m amazed read what idiots are willing to do and degrade themselves, in order to achieve so called “success”. It makes me thankful I had parents financially able to afford my education at an Ivy League university, and I had the intelligence and perseverance to make the best of the opportunity. My subsequent success in what I consider the worlds best profession, makes me thankful for my good fortune and sorry for those described on your web site who did not have my opportunities and prostitute themselves for the crumbs of what life can offer.

  4. Bobby says:

    Because NYC artists have always had a history of the utmost in taste and decorum!

  5. nobody says:

    sorry los angeles isn’t new york. i’m so sick and tired of people making fun of that city. sure it’s an easy target but fucking grow up…if you did let the muslimites have los angeles you know you’d be upset. after all there would be no oscars or pirates of the carribean two or new seasons of simple life. besides, a movie about poo just seems so post-modern and exciting. and it is certain that it will break some box office records.

  6. xxx says:

    Note Creed is a UK artist, not from Los Angeles. Also note he has commented that he “works within his limits.” Yes…

  7. The Reeler says:

    “Money Is The Gift That No One Ever Returns”: James Ellroy Talks “Dahlia” in NYC

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon