Old MCN Blogs
David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

'Helen Mirren Fucking': The Joys of Discovering The Reeler, Vol. IV


As regular as rent checks and expired MetroCards, so the beginning of the month brings a purging of the Site Meter record at Reeler HQ. That is right: It is again time to reveal 30 of the most inspired cosmic accidents to bring readers my way in August. Maybe it was the heat, or maybe it was just a single Dakota Fanning item, but you people just get more and more depraved.
As usual, I could not and would not make these up, heavy on the sic, etc. etc.:
–Shyamalan genius
–matthew barney is a fraud
–helen mirren fucking
–voter disenfranchisement arkansas charlie daniels
–burka jokes
–stanley, please stay away from my tits
–cock sucking jake gyllenhaal
–Anjelica Huston porn
–“David Edelstein” and “ear” and “nose” and “throat”
–hate cindy adams (Bonus: from Beijing, China — Ed.)
–articles resembled with raunchy musics making teens wants to do sex
–if dakota fanning could go to any state what would it be?
–is a.o. scott a man
–Is Manohla Dargis a woman or a man?
–is david kirkpatrick a jewish name
–is it wrong to go naked infront your 12 year old daughter
–maria bergman in nature valley granola bar tv commercial
–who is lindsay lohan’s new best friend? “katy frame”
–alexander payne asshole
–ways to say fag
–widest cunt contest
–worlds largest tow truck
–powerpoint on hgh school freshman orientation
–puerto rican, welfare, ghetto, loud music
–female energy vaginas soul sex
–ass number one
–singer eaten by a bear
–woman that like to fuck and middletown;ohio
–autoerotic death photos pictures
–I just wanted to find a fucking diagram of a fucking oil filter for a fucking 2000 toyota avalon
PREVIOUSLY: ‘Famke Janssen Fucking’: The Joys of Discovering The Reeler, Part I (June 1, 2006)
‘Anne Hathaway Fucking’: The Joys of Discovering The Reeler, Part II (July 3, 2006)
‘Rani Mukherjee Fucking’: The Joys of Discovering The Reeler, Vol. III (Aug. 2, 2006)

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One Response to “'Helen Mirren Fucking': The Joys of Discovering The Reeler, Vol. IV”

  1. EDouglas says:

    Maybe it’s telling you that you should not swear as much, especially when talking about hot Hollywood actresses. 🙂

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon