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Kim Voynar

By Kim Voynar

SIFF Roundup: Hold Review Haiku

Every year at SIFF, we have a slew of “hold review films,” about which we can only write 75 or fewer words. This year, just to make it more fun and challenging, here are some Hold Review Haikus for your enjoyment.

What’s that? You have nothing to do today? Feel free to pen a haiku for one of your own faves and leave in the comments …

Two by two by two
Variations on a theme

The Cathechism Cataclysm
Priest, roadie, school girls;
Mark Twain would never dream a
crazy trip like this.

The First Grader
Free education!
Free for everyone — except
Old freedom fighters.

The Future
What life would look like
If you made the same mistakes
Over and over

Life in a Day
A snapshot of life
Captured in a single day
Here and here and here

Project Nim
Take one chimpanzee
Raise him as a human child
Research tragedy

Eating beans on toast
Wearing pajamas to school
Hope unexpected

We Are the Night
Empowered females!
Nothing can defeat their strength
…except a hot guy.

The Whistleblower
Grimly brutal tale
Corrupt nations united,
Trading human flesh.

Every geeky boy
Longs to lose virginity
To weird pyro girl

The Last Circus
Ah, wages of war!
Clown-priest in ammo gun belt
Cannot save the girl.

Silent Souls
Lost culture, lost wife.
Returning to the water
What could not be held.

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3 Responses to “SIFF Roundup: Hold Review Haiku”

  1. Rob says:

    Excellent. Next up: a review of “The Tree of Life” written as a sestina.

  2. Kim Voynar says:

    Hah! Thanks. My daughter wants me to do a diamante comparing two films or film characters. I may do something like that in comparing We Are the Night to Twilight.

  3. Don R. Lewis says:

    Why the hell are Catechism Cataclysm. Project Nim and Submarine “hold reviews?” They’ve been all over the festival circuit since Sundance! Arbitrary press rules like that are why nothing ever gets done and why people “break embargo,” etc. Sooooo silly.

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon