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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Posted Wednesday, February 1st, 2012 - 3 Comments »
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25 Days To Oscar: The Little Things

With apologies to Mr. Sondheim…

It’s the little things you do together,
Do together,
Do together
That make perfect Oscar seasons.
The voters you pursue together,
Awards you accrue together,
An Image you redo together
That make Oscar a joy.
Mmhmm…

It’s the little things you miss together,
Wish together,
Piss together,
That make winning relationships.
The sideshow you enjoy together,
Consultants you annoy together,
Egos you destroy together,
That keep gold dreams intact.

It’s not so hard to win Oscars
When you know how it is done.
It’s not so hard to win Oscars,
And Jesus Christ, is it fun.

It’s sharing public meals together,
Schpiels together,
Deals together
That make Oscar a joy.
The asses that you kiss together,
Family that you miss together,
Opponents you diss together
That make winning relationships.
Uh huh
Mmhmm…

It’s not talk of craft and your decade of work that
Allow you to get through the worst.
It’s, “I do,” and, “You will,” and, “I shouldn’t say that,”
And, “Who are you voting in first?”

It’s the little things…
The little things, the little things, the little things.
The little ways you work together,
Berk together,
Jerk together
That make winning relationships.
Becoming a cliche together,
Staying in LA forever
Shaking hands all day together
That make Oscar a joy.

It’s not so hard to be win Oscars
It’s much the simplest of crimes
It’s not so hard to win Oscars
Harv’s done it three or four times.

It’s campaigning that you hate together,
Hate forever,
Wait forever,
That makes Oscar a joy.
But when you win the prize together,
Tears leaking from your eyes together,
Thinking, “now it’s mine” together,
That makes winning relationships.
Uh-huh…
Kiss-kiss…
Mmhmm…

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3 Comments »

3 Responses to “25 Days To Oscar: The Little Things”

  1. Glamourboy says:
    February 2, 2012 at 8:22 am

    yikes..

  2. Albert Starling says:
    February 3, 2012 at 2:49 am

    Embarrassing…

  3. movielocke says:
    February 3, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    read that linked article about the cyber dangers of oscar voting fraud. Simple solution for the Oscars. Get a smartphone maker to sponsor the oscars. Every academy member gets sent an iphone, for example. This phone is disabled until the day after the oscars. It is activated for academy use only when they receive it. The only thing that comes up when they receive it is a touchscreen voting ballot. People select their choices and hit submit. When they hit submit, the phone dials a number that connects to the academy’s server. The phone then spits out an audio stream of data (sounds like an old modem dialing in) that the academy’s computer then registers as all the vote information.

    Any time after this, the voter can press a ‘verify’ button and the academy computer will call the voter’s phone, spit out the audio data stream of the vote and the phone will display the voter’s vote.

    The day after the oscars, the academy function disables and the phone becomes a fully functional siri.

    Obvious problems: Sounds like a programming nightmare.
    Old people can’t use touch screens
    Old people can’t see touch screens
    Old people are confused by modern technology and will be convinced they voted wrong
    Old people will probably misvote on the touch screen in extremely high percentages.

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon