By Mike Wilmington Wilmington@moviecitynews.com
Wilmington on Movies: Step Up Revolution
STEP UP REVOLUTION (One and a Half Stars)
U.S.: Scott Speer, 2012
You don’t have to be a nincompoop to want to see something like Step Up Revolution, but it probably helps. The fourth in the “Step Up” series, which gave the world Channing Tatum in its first outing, and this time settles for male model Ryan Guzman (as Sean) and dancer Kathryn McCormick (as Emily), this is a ludicrous example of what you might call the “Hey Kids! Let’s put on a flash mob, and get it on You Tube!“ musical, a slick-quick-and-dumb-as-a-brick movie, shot in Miami, that has no apparent rationale except to get a bunch of buff kids, led by Guzman and McCormick, slithering and hopping and flash mobbing and dirty-dancing away to recorded music by talent like J.Lo, M.I.A., M83 and Far East Movement (all news to me).
Excuse me, I completely forgot the revolution. Simultaneously, in the midst of all this hopping and slithering and deejaying, the movie tries to justify itself to picky (or gullible) audiences and critics, by including an allegedly socially conscious plot. All those (gifted) buff jumpers and butt wigglers, led by Guzman and his chum Eddy (Misha Gabriel) in a Miami Beach group and flash mob they call The Mob, are actually staging dance-protests, to prevent the destruction of their neighborhood by Mr. Anderson (Peter Gallagher), a greedy real-estate developer who wants to build a huge hotel complex over the ruins — and then maybe build himself a Miami home modeled on Buckingham Palace or Elsinore — and who conveniently turns out to be Emily’s dad and gosh, you know, not such a bad guy after all.
Oh, excuse me, I completely forgot the love story. In the midst of all this class warfare, Sean and Emily meet at the local resort, where he’s a waiter, and she’s daddy’s daughter and she wants to be a star dance student and dancer and thinks the Mob can teach her a few moves, and he wants to put on a few moves himself. It’s Romeo. It’s Juliet. It’s, I don’t know, fate. She’s a rich girl. He’s a poor boy — who just scrapes by on his waiter’s salary, enough to afford a huge loft, all kinds of elaborate electronics equipment (including video), and whatever they pay (or don’t pay) the rest of the Mob, and their choreographers, and their designers, and whoever plans their schedules so they can run around dancing at traffic jams and disrupting speeches by Gallagher the developer and the Mayor. (This guy either gets some tips, or he’s moonlighting with Tatum.)
It’s a classic love story, set to the pulsing beat of J.Lo and M83, or whomever — and I just couldn‘t wait to watch those heart-pumping hot-clinch Step Up revolutionary love scenes, or whatever they were. Not since Frankie and Annette and the Beach Parties of American International (whose crucial links to Step Up Revolution Roger Ebert has helpfully pointed out), have I been so moved.
It’s sometimes said that if you put a hundred (or maybe a million) monkeys on typewriters (computers now) and monitored the results, eventually they’d come up with the complete plays of Shakespeare, or at least Neil Simon‘s first five. I’ll go a step further (up). I think all those monkeys, on their very first try, could have written a better script than this, even if they could only manage zzzzzzzzzzzzz, repeated a million times. And I’m not trying to diss the screenwriter, who was, I’m sure, doing exactly what they wanted.
Recently, I’ve been suggesting that Hollywood make more musicals, but what I had in mind were new movie adaptations of all the great Brodway shows they’ve missed (by Stephen Sondheim and others), or movies that were showcases for our best pop stars and dancers and singers and musical actors (what happened to the movie careers Bernadette Peters and Mandy Patinkin should have had?) — not glorified underwear ads, rock video schlock and deejay spinups. Here, producer Adam Shankman (Rock of Ages) and director Scott Speer, enablers of a fairly swanky production (with good dancers), give us something that reminds us how many trivial, third-rate musicals Hollywood produced in its heyday. It’s a movie that makes Beach Blanket Bingo look like La Traviata.
Excuse me, I completely forgot myself. I exaggerate, of course, It makes Beach Blanket Bingo look like Viva Las Vegas.
People go see movies like this for the DANCING, not the plot. You never do say how the DANCING was. I’ll just bet it was unbelievably good!