This one thing did:

• Studios continued to try to build new “untested” release days throughout the year.

So, I spent a couple of extra days trying to think of New Year’s resolutions for the studios and the industry alike, but I just never came up with anything inspired. I guess after writing over half a million words about this stuff in the last year alone, I’m tired of telling people what to do… at least for the moment.

And so, I resolve the following:

• To make The Hot Button as complete and fair as possible.
  

• To worry less about the advantages being given other people, traditional media outlets and web sites, focusing exclusively on making roughcut.com better.
  

• To demand that studios and publicists understand the value of the web, of you as committed readers and of roughcut.com specifically.
  

• To sleep more, play more and maybe even to take a vacation in 2000.
  

• To make the readers an even more important part of the site.
  

Thank you all for your willingness to read a column like this one and for the participation of so many of you. I always tell people that The Hot Button has the best readers in the business. I am one of the few guys I know who doesn’t get crass, thoughtless, childish e-mail. (Well, occasionally.) Hot Button readers have something to say. It’s not gossip. It’s conversation. And I am really thankful that you take the time to be a part of the column. Happy
New Year!

E ME all holiday season long. The Hot Button is back on its regular schedule
starting next week.

Director, Wrong Director

Today, two examples of hiring the wrong director. One, an excellent director in the wrong genre and the other, a director who should never be allowed to shoot a major motion picture again. You figure out which is which. (I don’t expect it to be difficult.)
First, with Sony breathing down their necks, MGM has decided to put Bond 19 into the hands of director Michael Apted. WHAT?! A great documentarian (Seven Up – 42 Up), a terrific actors’ director (Coal Miner’s Daughter, Gorillas in the Mist) and a director who has failed every time he has taken a shot at a remotely action-based film (Gorky Park, Firstborn, Class Action, Thunderheart, Extreme Measures). What are they thinking? I mean, I admire this guy to the heavens, but as the director of a Bond movie?! This is one of the screwiest combinations of a director and a film since Castle Rock gave William Goldman’s great screenplay, Year of the Comet, to Peter Yates, who like Apted, is a great director (Breaking Away, Eyewitness, The Friends of Eddie Coyle and Bullitt), but not the guy for a frothy romantic adventure comedy.
Oddly enough, I was having lunch with a director friend Tuesday and he opined, “Warren Beatty hired the wrong director [himself] for Bulworth and made one of the best failed films ever. Had the right director, maybe had Sydney Pollack, been on that film, it could have been one of the all-time greats.” I agree. We then talked about Bill Duke, a very talented director, who really set his career back by trying to do too wide a range of films (from his breakthrough Deep Cover right into the old lady comedy The Cemetery Club) and has barely recovered. Not everyone is meant to do everything. Very few can.
Oh, yeah, the other guy is Rob Cohen. For some unknown reason, Columbia has attached him to a big sci-fi project called After the Visitation (a future Earth that has some new secrets since an alien visitation). This is the same guy who managed to make Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story look pretty good, but he stunk up the planet with Dragonheart and Daylight back-to-back. And next, HBO will inflict the hideous The Rat Pack on all of us who have cable. (Great actors, a miscast Ray Liotta and a truly crappy script that matches the direction.) I guess Cohen is miscast too. See, he used to be quite a good commercially oriented producer (Mahogany, Bingo Long, The Witches of Eastwick, Bird on a Wire) and has devolved into a hack director. What I really want him to do is produce.
CANNIBAL SCORN: This is my favorite story of the year so far. Herb Cruse, a 77-year-old surviving veteran of Pearl Harbor, tried to get the Carmike Theater chain to pay him off not to reveal the fact that he had poured his aunt’s cremated remains in the popcorn at three of the company’s Charlotte, N.C. theaters. They took a pass, so he apparently papered the theater’s parking lot with fliers claiming that the theaters were serving “cannibal corn” and encouraging participation in a class action suit. Only one problem. He now says that he never did put his aunt’s ashes into the popcorn, just “some ashes,” presumably not human. He was ticked because a district manager didn’t let him sell on-screen ads. Don’t these kids ever learn when the joke just isn’t funny anymore?! Me, I just assumed that “cannibal corn” had something to do with a fetish based around Dr. Scholls.
MULAN MUHLAH: Early reports out of China suggested that Disney would have a hard time getting Mulan onto screen. Apparently payback for the release of Martin Scorsese‘s masterpiece Kundun last Christmas. (If you ask me, China should be kissing Disney’s butt for burying a film that should have been nominated for at least six Academy Awards.) But Disney now says that the coast is clear. But there is another little problem. China only accepts 10 international films a year. (That would be us Americans.) So, not accepting Mulan wouldn’t be the biggest offense ever. And, of course, if China wants to punish America, Disney is trying to get them to let Armageddon screen. All they have to do is say yes.
NOTE TO ARMAGEDDON FANS: I know, I know.
EARLY TREK SPEC: Well, Paramount has finally made the deal to distribute Trekkers (nee: Trekkies), the wonderful Roger Nygard documentary on the people who love Star Trek a little too much. Or maybe just enough. roughcut.com took the first peek at the film over a year ago. Guess who wrote it? Check it out right here.
Paramount hasn’t decided whether to release the film, which some feel could tick off a few Trek-addicts (geez, these folks get riled over whether you call them trekkers or trekkies), before Star Trek: Insurrection hits screens this December or sometime in the spring, hopefully riding the wave of Trek focus refueled by the new film. If the studio is smart, they’ll go for the earlier option. The core audience is never going to boycott a new Trek film and a little controversy could help bring some hip buzz to the series.
READER OF THE DAY: From Jeffrey Wells: “Ben Affleck’s rant re my July 2 Mr. Showbiz story about Dogma was pretty wild. Jeff Schwager of Mr. Showbiz posted a reply late Tuesday on Kevin Smith’s View Askew site, pointing out Ben’s inaccuracies and requesting an apology.
“That pretty much covers it, except for two points I’d like to make.
“One, the story I wrote was basically about a tip I’d gotten from a trusted insider that Michael Eisner isn’t too thrilled about the prospect of taking heat from the religious right over the film’s satiric content. If Ben had said, ‘Gee, I don’t know anything about that, but I sure like the script, blah, blah,’ there would’ve been no story. But he didn’t. He said that Miramax topper Harvey Weinstein (whom he knows) ‘has his trepidations about this.’ He also shared his suspicion that Eisner is ‘probably…nervous about [Dogma].’
“These quotes he didn’t argue with, and indeed partially supported what I’d heard earlier. What was I supposed to do, ignore them?
“Two, I’m willing to bet that Ben’s rant wasn’t so much about his own reaction to the story (he’d been shown a typed transcript of his remarks and said, through his publicist, that he ‘stands by what he said’), but about Miramax’s (i.e.: Harvey’s). I’ll bet 20 bucks that Ben was diplomatically reamed out by Harvey (or some Miramax flunky, acting on Harvey’s orders) for speaking candidly about Dogma, and was told to, henceforth, keep his yap shut. I’ll wager that the young fellow’s pride was tarnished by this and that he passed these feelings along last Monday when asked about Dogma during his now-infamous Internet chat.
“Young men of intelligence and a semblance of balls, like Ben, always speak their minds openly…at first. (Leonardo DiCaprio was like this back in the What’s Eating Gilbert Grape days.) Sooner or later their remarks cause a stir, which always results in their managers or publicists stepping in and telling them to wise up, or else. If Ben were Tom Cruise or some other heavyweight, no one would have dared caution him. But (and remember, I’m just using my powers of deduction here) since he’s young and just starting out, and since Dogma is a possibly troublesome film that may indeed draw the wrath of the crazies, and since Ben and Matt Damon have a housekeeping deal with Miramax (the L.A.-based Pearl Street Productions), and since Harvey and Bob have never been reticent about throwing their weight around, Ben (I suspect) may have had his fanny paddled.

Ranting and Raving

This week’s rant is not by me or by a Hot Button reader. It comes from the cyber-pen of Ben Affleck, who wrote it late Monday night after reading the following question on the View Askew website: “I was reading about the Dogma controversy with Disney being worried about religious groups protesting against the story of , and I was curious to what your opinion is on this whole thing. Do you understand how the religious groups may protest and Disney should be worried? Or do you think it’s just a fantasy movie that no one should take too seriously?”
Mr. Affleck took this opportunity to rip a new anal pore for a journalist who dared to ask him about the film. His rant — and this one defines “rant” — follows:
“I actually have a very strong opinion on this matter. Some chump who writes for an Internet tabloid (Mr. Showbiz I think it’s called — how silly and lame is that?) snuck into the Armageddon junket and asked me about Dogma at a print round-table interview (circular tables filled with seven or eight journalists with tape recorders who ask questions and tape record your answers.) Everyone was (appropriately) asking about Armageddon (“What’s Bruce like?” “How hard were the space suits to wear, day in and day out?” etc., etc.)
“So, all of a sudden, this one fool plunges into a rambling, semi-coherent Dogma question, out of the blue. First of all, this is inappropriate, as all the journalists accept the invitation to the junket (where they are feted with gifts, free food, little pins and books and jackets, etc.) under the implied agreement that, for good or ill (and many, as evidenced by the deluge of negative press the movie got, evidently chose the latter), they would write about the movie.
“All but two of the some-odd 120 journalists I spoke with over the two days were good to their (implied) word and wrote about Armageddon. The exceptions were some idiot from a Chicago paper and this chucklehead from Mr. Showbiz (What kind of a name is that? I mean, to borrow a phrase; ‘Who the f–k talks like that? That is f–kin’ baby-talk!’ You don’t hear Sam Donaldson stooping to refer to himself as ‘The White House Prowler,’ or some such nonsense, just to pick up a few errant viewers…) decides to write about a film that won’t be released for another year, no one has seen, few have read and has literally nothing to do with Armageddon. His question would be disallowed by any competent judge as seriously leading were we in a courtroom, but we are far from there. The O.J. jury got a better look at the truth than these ‘celebrity-journalists’ (a contradiction in terms if ever I’ve heard one) give you.
“He begins ‘I hear Michael Eisner is very nervous about Dogma…’ ‘Really?’ I say, ‘That surprises me.’ He nods his head furiously and begins taking copious notes. I stare at him dumbly, as I can’t imagine what he’s writing down (or why, since 18,000 tape recorders are running at the table.) I go to great pains to say ‘I don’t know Michael Eisner. I’ve never met him. That seems strange…’ ‘Oh, yes,’ he assures me. Very nervous.
“At this point I’m wondering how this pathetic dingbat has any idea what Michael Eisner thinks, since I get the distinct feeling Eisner wouldn’t throw this guy a nickel if he were standing next to an off-ramp by a vending machine with a sign saying: ‘Will write senseless horses–t for two-bits.’ But I play along, out of politeness and answer in very non-specific terms along the lines of ‘Well, the Disney/Miramax marriage is not always easy, but both parties have a proven formula for success, it wouldn’t surprise me, necessarily, to find out that one party or another had its nervous moments at times, but I know Joe Roth [Disney exec/entertainment head], and he’s a very smart guy, I know Harvey [Weinstein, Miramax Co-Chairman], and he’s also very on top of it, so I assume everything will work out, blah, blah, blah…’
“After that response, Mr. Showbiz (who has already demonstrated that he knows far less about his namesake than the average Internet user, nevermind supposed Internet industry ‘insider,’ in contrast to what his moniker seems to suggest) goes on a rather lengthy and prosaic tirade about some ‘war’ between Disney and Southern Baptists over same-sex health benefits. At this point it occurs to me that we have gone so far afield as to be almost comical, but I nod politely and think ‘Note to self, avoid sitting at table with Mr. Bonehead in foreseeable future.’ And I leave it at that.
“Weeks later, a piece runs on Chucklehead’s site under some outrageous headline like ‘Affleck forsees trouble with Dogma and Miramax.’ I groan. The ‘text’ of the piece is really an elegant exercise in selective quotation, misquotation and out of context, text-manipulation. I assume it’s taken this guy the intermediate weeks since the junket to cobble this piece together. Only now, too late, do I realize I’ve been had by the Tim McVeigh of the gay left, and duped into playing a role in his imagined ‘war’ between Disney and some fringe religious group. There’s always some guy with an agenda. And, more often than not, the end product reflects that agenda much more than what you were trying to express in the interview. Ah, freedom… at what price. At least I’m not running for office (and coming up next, after ‘Beastiality On-line:’ Mr. 37th Congressional District!!!)
“So, you heard it here, from the horse’s mouth. There is no Dogma controversy that I (or anybody I know) know of. In fact, there isn’t even any Dogma yet. So, a word to the wise, beware of Greeks bearing gifts and always beware of journalists with kooky pseudonyms. My only comfort is in the old adage, ‘What goes around comes around.’
“By the way (and for the record) that’s Karma, my friends, not Dogma.”
WRITER OF THE DAY: The “rambling, semi-coherent, chucklehead, chump” is Jeffrey Wells, a long-established entertainment writer who now works primarily for the L.A. Times Syndicate. The article that Affleck cites has an awful lot of direct quotes in it, cobbled though they may be. (You might also find it interesting that Affleck and his publicists were sent the transcript of the roundtable interview before Wells delivered his story to Mr. Showbiz and that the publicist told Wells at that time that Ben stood by everything he said.) And this quotation from the article is particularly hard to claim as out of context: “It would not surprise me if the political situation around Dogma was very tenuous. I know [Miramax co-chairman] Harvey Weinstein has his trepidations about this, and he’s gotta answer to Disney.” Well, Ben says he knows Harvey. And Ben says Harvey has trepidations. Sounds like controversy to me. I can’t defend the article headline, “Affleck Prophesies Dogma Controversy,” because all he really does is acknowledge the possible controversy and that it had been considered by Weinstein and possibly others. But this response seems a little over the top. And the thing I find most fascinating about it is Affleck’s basic contempt for the media, in general, and the inherent falsity of most junkets in specific. Here it is, indeed, from the horse’s mouth.

YOU HAVE TWINS, MR. ZEMBIC!

Thank God we are going to get a big screen treatment of the story of Brian Zembic, the moron who had 38C implants in order to win a $100,000 bet. Yes, it was true. No, I did not offer him the $100,000. The movie rights were picked up by Fox Searchlight, so maybe they can use the searchlight to find this guy’s brain. Maybe this is Fox’s idea of a reverse There’s Something About Mary. They’ve said they see Mary as a guys movie that is made fun for women since it centers on a woman. Maybe 38Cs For 100Gs (my title) will be a woman’s film that has breasts, breasts, breasts for the boys.
READER CORRECTION: As long as we are already focused on baring boobs, Ethan C wrote in about a mention I made last week (THB 7/30): “Jamie Pressly‘s Playboy layout was about five or six issues ago. Really, Dave, you call yourself an entertainment reporter? Where’s your research?” He was kidding, so don’t write about him being a jerk. As for me, I’ve stopped reading Playboy in recent years. I actually did care about the articles, and they aren’t what they used to be. So, thanks for the heads up, Ethan.
A COMEDY?: Here is The Hollywood Reporter’s description of Kathleen Turner‘s role in Prince of Central Park: “She will play a woman who befriends a runaway foster child; together, they conquer their personal demons and rid New York’s Central Park of a drug-dealing gang.” Produced by Steven Seagal‘s production company, this could be an interesting action drama, right? Nope. Here’s a little more of the description: “The $7 million family comedy is based on the long-running Broadway and off-Broadway musical.” Nothing funnier than drug dealers, runaways and personal demons.
HAPPY WITH EVER AFTER: I’m beginning to see the kind of mail about Ever After that I saw about Deep Impact. People like it. They really, really like it. (Each letter starts, “You were too hard on Ever After…”) So, maybe it’s going to find its legs. Then again, maybe not. Another Drew Barrymore film (really her legitimate adult actress coming-out party), Boys on the Side, stiffed when it hit theaters in the post Oscar-release period a couple of years ago. I felt BOTS was a better film and, Whoopi Goldberg would have gotten a nomination had Warner Bros. released the film in time for consideration. But it was also Matthew McConaughey‘s introduction (still one of his best performances) to the studio film and the home of great dramatic performances by Mary-Louise Parker and Anita Gillette. Some felt it was maudlin or heavy handed, but I think it was a wonderful movie.
DIRECTING FOR DISNEY: I got the following letter from someone named Zoo Station when I suggested that Nancy Meyer has weak directing skills and proved it on The Parent Trap, even though I liked the movie overall (THB 7/31). “Since this is a Disney movie, you can’t blame the director. They’re basically told what to do with very little freedom. It’s basically the producer’s and studio’s fault. This is why you don’t see Spielberg directing one of these movies. These are films that beginning directors have to start with. That was pretty mean of you to say that ‘Nancy Meyer is a poor director’ when EVERY film takes many people to make it a good film or OK film. I highly doubt Spielberg did every little thing on Saving Private Ryan. He had help, and it could have been an OK movie instead of a great one. Also, Out of Sight is a good movie but not great.”
Well, first, you are welcome to your opinion on Out of Sight, as are those who love it and those who hate it. As far as blaming the studio for the way Nancy Meyer directed The Parent Trap, with all due respect, that is patently absurd. Let’s dump the Spielberg analogy from the top. Yes, if Janusz Kaminski (his Ryan cinematographer) sucked, the movie would worse, but he works for Spielberg. He isn’t out there freelancing. A good crew allows the director to execute his vision. And make no mistake, Spielberg doesn’t write or do everything else on a set, but his movies are his vision.
For better or for worse, film is a director’s medium. This brings us to Disney. The studio is infamous for pre-production notes. The reason why is because they understand that once the film starts shooting, they have almost no control at all. That’s the way it is. If the dailies are hideous, they can fire someone. That’s about it.
Meyer earned this directing job by being half of one of Disney’s big-money teams. She and husband Charles Shyer (who has been the director of the team to date) are writers first and adapted the original Parent Trap themselves. So, if there was studio interference, it was likely in that stage. And in post. I’m sure Disney wasn’t too thrilled to have a kids movie that runs 127 minutes. But again, I would say that Meyer/Shyer have enough juice at the studio to protect their baby.
There are certainly cases of films where it is not the director’s fault. And not just at Disney; not by a long shot. Francis Ford Coppola has worked for hire and you can tell. The script never quite works because he just doesn’t care. Lots of the “flash” directors have very little script sense, so their movies look great but make little sense, unless they fall into a great script. (See: The Great Ridley Scott vs. Tony Scott Debate.) And there are “savior” gigs, like John Frankenheimer being called in on the Brando/Kilmer version of The Island of Dr. Moreau after the original director (I forgot who it was) got fired.
You could tell, by watching Kilmer’s performance particularly, that the film was out of control and that no one could have saved it. But, all in all, the director is in charge. The writer-director is in almost absolute control. So, to blame anyone but Meyer for the directorial lapses in The Parent Trap is just wrong. If you want to make an argument that I was “mean,” make the one that says, “don’t abuse a first time director for not being fully formed.” That’s reasonable. But how many first-timers get to “try things out” on a major studio release? Not many.
READER OF THE DAY: From Chuck F: “Yes, definitely sell out. Heap on the moronic pull-quotes like a starving man piling on the food at an all-you-can-eat joint. Do anything to get your name in ads for movies that no-one will remember six weeks in the future. Or you could just keep up the good work.”

Weekend Wrap-Up

The big story of this weekend was really the death of BASEketball, a death almost as shocking in the negative as last weekend’s $30.1 million opening for Saving Private Ryan was in the positive. But, since the film didn’t make the Top 10, you’ll have to read more about that below. The Top 10 leads off with the Private, as it did last week, falling just 23 percent to $23.3 million. (That’s not a typo. That’s a coincidence.) The top newcomer of the wide release quartet was The Parent Trap, which took second place with a three-day total of $11.5 million, adding to the $5 million that it took in on Wednesday and Thursday. That’s solid, but hardly overwhelming. Look for the film, which got generally good reviews and is pretty much the last new kids’ film of the summer, to join the list of leggy films out there right now. The only change of Top 10 position amongst the returning movies was There’s Something About Mary‘s jump ahead of Zorro and Lethal Weapon 4 to take third place with $11.5 million, once again dropping minimally (just 12 percent this week after an 8 percent fall last week). The Negotiator was unable to talk itself into bigger numbers with just $10.4 million over the weekend after taking in less than $2.9 million on Wednesday and Thursday. Why didn’t the film open more successfully? Most wags will blame the lack of a “major” movie star. That could be part of it. There also seemed to be a lot of people who felt they had seen the whole movie in the trailer. They hadn’t, but in today’s world of six-months-to-video, any hesitance by the public can mean failure.
There was a fifth place tie between Ever After and The Mask of Zorro, each copping $8.5 million. That’s a decent opening for Cinderella with word-of-mouth ultimately deciding the film’s fate. (You know, in coming up with a pun, I realized that we don’t often see Drew’s legs, just her torso and face. Just a random thought). And it’s a 37 percent drop for Zorro, which kills me. (It’s quickly becomming another film that’s going to be an unsurprising surprise hit on video, along with Out of Sight.) Lethal Weapon 4 took seventh with its now traditional 40 percent drop (well, really 41 percent this week) to $7.7 million. Armageddon also repeated its drop (33 percent) to hit the eight spot with $7.5 million, passing $160 million and looking like it will self-fulfill Joe Roth‘s $180 million “estimate” from a few weeks ago. Dr. Dolittle took one of its biggest drops, falling a full 40 percent. But don’t cry for the doc, as he passed $125 million with a $4.4 million weekend. Finally, MAFIA! (or Jane Austen‘s Mafia! or The Gagfather) stayed in the Top 10 with $3.6 million. Still a failure in its own right (with under $14 million total to date), as Airplane! trio Zucker (BASEketball), Abrahams (MAFIA!) and Zucker (still not greenlit since First Knight) would appear to be forced to pass the comedy torch to the darker humor of The Farrelly Brothers, much as horror was shifted into “All Irony, All The Time” with Scream.
THE GOOD: Legs! We have legs! After starting off with the ultimate short-timer, Godzilla, this summer has finally found its legs. One of the most oft written comments I see in e-mails on Saving Private Ryan is how the film sticks with viewers long after a viewing. That means more viewings. There’s Something About Mary started out slowly, but is staying the course with the best hold-over figures since Titanic. Dr. Dolittle has been remarkably long-limbed. And yes, after the intense campaign by Disney for the world not to see Armageddon as a Godzilla-like flop, that film has held on well, too.
THE BAD: Bad news from the Trailer Park. I suffered the indignity of seeing the The Avengers trailer yet again. ‘Nuff said. The trailer for the new Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, Knock Off made almost as little sense as the title (what does Knock Off have to do with the Chinese getting back Hong Kong?). And worse, the herky-jerky editing appeared to be demanded by the herky-jerky “Look, I’m just like John Woo without the talent” shooting style of the latest wannabe. And finally, A Night at the Roxbury ran a full two minutes in a packed theater without generating a single laugh until the very last shot. That shot is of Will Ferrell and Chris Katain in butt-floss bikinis. I guess we are supposed to take home that their lack of attractive rear ends is the central joke of the film. BAD! BAD TRAILER!
THE UGLY: It doesn’t get much uglier than the weekend BASEketball had. Three million dollars for eleventh place. The film was well marketed by Universal. I mean, they tried everything they could. They even turned up on the sports sites that I have been known to visit with ads using technology that I hadn’t seen before. And I like “South Park.” The guys are funny (even if they’ve duded “dude” to death). I think Jenny McCarthy has a real gift for being honest and self-effacing that still hasn’t found its way past her breasts and blonde hair. Zucker obviously has skills, but these kinds of movies are always a gamble. You never know whether you got s–t or Shinola until it’s made. The form is basically a bunch of jokes, just like a sitcom. But a bad sitcom episode can be made up for the next week. If you have one great episode for every three mediocre ones, you have a hit. One good parody movie out of four and you have a major career. Only you have to be called “The Ugly” by me three times along the way.
THE CHAT: This Friday, I shall not chat alone. Join me and my guests, the star and the director of first love, last rites, Natasha Gregson Wagner and Jesse Peretz. Friday. 10:00 p.m. GMT/2:00 p.m. PT/5:00 p.m. ET.
TWO MOVIES EQUAL: BASEketball + Armageddon = BASEketgeddon What happens when Michael Bay teams up with those wacky guys from “South Park” to save the world? Well, let’s just say that all they need to explode the asteroid is a match and plate full of beans! Flatulence was never so funny OR so beautifully shot. The pull-quotes are already in! “I laughed so hard I almost believed myself when I said that I liked it!,” Bobby Wygant. “grOss!,” Ron Brewington. “How Can You Complain About Me When There is Crap Like This Out There?,” Godzilla.
JUST WONDERING: This is for those of you who have already seen The Negotiator. Can anyone else relate J.T. Walsh‘s performance in this to Courtney Love‘s in The People vs. Larry Flynt? If you did, I bet you found it as spooky as I did. If not, write and I’ll tell you privately, not ruining the film for others.
BAD AD WATCH: First, there was good news this week. Bill Zwecker, the infamous pull-quote slut who carried the “NBC-TV Chicago” tag, has left NBC-TV Chicago. He won’t be reviewing movies anymore and claims there will be no more pull-quotes. Hurray. As for existing bad ads, gotta go back to BASEketball. On Saturday, Universal ran an ad loaded with pull-quotes from seven low-rent outlets. Bad enough. The eighth, oddly, was The New York Times. Go figure. On Sunday, in L.A., no pull-quotes. Better. But in the Chicago papers, there it was. Ain’t It Cool News, the solo pull, with the insightful, “A perfect synergy of the disturbingly modern humor of ‘South Park’ and the films Naked Gun and Airplane!.” I guess the folks at the U realized crap like that wouldn’t fly in big, bad L.A. As it turns out, the reason Harry Knowles is not credited with the pull-quote is that it isn’t his. It is the AICN’s ubiquitous, moronic, masturbatory “Joe Hallenbeck” character who wrote that gem. So Universal is quoting someone that they have no way of knowing even exists. Very, very bad.
READER OF THE DAY: Rak39 wrote: “I must disagree with you on the film Ever After. My friend and I pass out opinion cards for Hollywood Hotline, so we get to see every film that comes out for free. We loved the movie! And the responses reflected the same from most people. My votes for best movies so far this summer would be The Mask of Zorro, The Negotiator and Ever After. I feel as strongly about this movie as you do about Out of Sight. I hope it does better than you are predicting.”

News By The Numbers

10. YIP YIP TIP YIP YIP!: Martin Scorsese confirmed to Variety‘s Army Archerd this week that Dino (his Dean Martin movie) is “on the back burner.” With Scorsese’s choice cast of Tom Hanks as Martin, John Travolta as Frank Sinatra, Hugh Grant as Peter Lawford, Adam Sandler as Joey Bishop and Jim Carrey as Jerry Lewis, this movie lover is crying bitter tears. Instead we will have to live with Ray Liotta, in his worst performance ever, as Sinatra in the horribly directed and written Rob Cohen classic (yes, it’s worse than Daylight) called The Rat Pack. Only on HBO. Such exquisite sorrow.
9. RE-ANIMATOR: THE MUSICAL: Disney is making a half-hour animated movie about Princess Diana‘s life. No less than the Church of England’s Archdeacon of York has questioned the propriety of the choice, but just think of the potential. The voice of Demi Moore as Diana. The voice of Bruce Willis as Prince Charles. The voice of Antonio Banderas as Dodi Fayed, aka The Beast. And Angela Lansbury as the evil Queen Mother. Watch as the stork brings two babies to Diana and Charles. Watch as Diana sings a song about self-love as she forces herself to vomit while President Clinton (voiced by Wilt Chamberlain) and Hillary (voiced by Anne Heche) stand for a photo op in the next room. And, find out what really happened in the limo. (Hint: No one really died!) Yeah. That’s a good idea.
8. OH, THAT LEO!: Leonardo DiCaprio took some time to visit 17-year-old paralyzed Chinese gymnast Sang Lan at New York’s Mount Sinai Rehab Institute last week. Paramount took full advantage of the rare positive Leo sighting of late and sent Sang an advance copy of the Titanic video. No truth to the rumor that Leo’s visit was primarily an effort to win a bet with a buddy over a particularly offensive rumor about Asian anatomy. Nor that Leo simply wore out the last of the eight girls he met through Make-A-Wish last month.
7. COMING OUT IN A BIG WAY: The Black Cauldron finally comes to video next week. And in response, the Disney marketing department has lost its collective mind! First, Disney will go to Witchville, U.S.A. (Salem, Mass.) to break a Guinness World Record with “world’s largest cauldron.” Geez, didn’t know there was a competition. It’s seven feet in diameter and weighs more than 250 pounds. And, as a finale for the evening, well, I’ll let Disney tell it: “The awe-inspiring grand finale; will light up the sky as magnificent flames and glittering mines shoot out of the cauldron 50 feet into the air.” Couldn’t have mocked it better myself. That’s when “the ‘Black Cauldron Boogie,’ an all-new, toe-tapping, hip-shaking line dance created especially for this event” begins. I guess they won’t go out of their way to make me laugh even harder by staging the dance in a bath of red ink.
6. FRANCHISE WATCH: Sony lost round one in the fight for James Bond, being ordered not to develop a screenplay for the Bond film it hopes to make (after being heard in court on their rights claims) next December. Meanwhile on the Franchise Watch, Warner Bros. has been toying with a new-look Batman series while Superman is on full stop, Universal is going prequel for their Flintstones follow-up, Disney is doing a major remake of at least one old family film from its library each year, Paramount is ready to go (pretty much) with Mission: Impossible II (and trying to figure out how to do Titanic or Braveheart 2) and Fox has Star Wars on the way.
5. I CAN’T GIVE YOU A BILLION, BUT…: Michael Douglas was named a U.N. Messenger of Peace this week at a press conference. Turns out that Douglas wants to fight for nuclear disarmament and small arms control. (Apparently some disgruntled movie patrons held him at gunpoint until they got their money back for his last nuclear bomb, The Ghost and the Darkness.) Douglas earned the title after participating in some anti-nuke fundraisers in L.A. and seems quite sincere in putting his best effort forth. However, his original U.N. title has been shortened from Messenger of Piece of Ass.
4. FLOATING MICKEY’S BOAT: Disney finally set sail this week with The Disney Magic. The 83,000-ton ship will carry 2,400 passengers and a crew of 915 and looks really, really cool. What Variety managed to leave out was an eight-month delay in the launch, including four months of paid bookings that were canceled and will have to be made up for in the next year. And in all the hype, Mr. Eisner said, “You never know. Someday we may be in six or seven different cities.” Eisner and Variety failed to mention that the cruise line is part of a one-week Disney package that includes only three or four days on the boat, one of them spent visiting a privately owned Disney island. Before they go to six or seven different cities, they’d better get a few feet from home base first.
3. CLOSER, MY LORD, TO GUM: The Oasis Christian Center wants you to walk on Jesus Christ, but the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce objects strenuously. How’s that for a lead? Turns out that OCC decided to give Jesus his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame without telling the Chamber, the guys who are responsible for that institution. And they have a trademark to protect. Negotiations have begun, but look for a row of new stars for Jeffrey Hunter, Ted Neeley, Victor Garber, Willem Dafoe and Kenneth Colley. (And if you can figure out what movie Colley is from without using IMDb, you deserve a big gold star.)
2. SAVING STEPHEN AMBROSE: Quite a news cycle for Saving Private Ryan. From the problems getting the actual film into theaters on time last Friday, to box office numbers at least 20 percent higher than projected, to an unending Oscar buzz, this film has become the Beast of Summer 1998. And if that weren’t enough, DreamWorks is piggybacking into the Movie of the Week business by buying Stephen Ambrose‘s book Citizen Soldiers as the basis for its first non-series TV project. That should kill off any of the buzz around Spielberg’s last-minute inclusion of Ambrose in the Ryan party.
1. NO LONGER UNLISTED: Sixteen blacklisted screenwriters are getting their well-deserved credit for 21 different movies. The list: Leonardo Bercovici, for Under Ten Flags (1960); Henry Blankfort, for G.I. Jane (1951), The Highwayman (1951) and Joe Palooka in the Squared Circle (1950); Jerome Chodorov, for The Tunnel of Love (1958); Howard Dimsdale, for We Joined the Navy (1962); Carl Foreman, for A Hatful of Rain (1957); Daniel James, for Revolt in the Big House (1952) and The Giant Behemoth (1958); Paul Jarrico, for All Night Long (1961), Five Branded Women (1960), The Girl Most Likely (1957), and The Las Vegas Story (1951); Howard Koch, for The Intimate Stranger (1956); John Howard Lawson, for The Careless Years (1957); Donald Ogden Stewart, for Malaga (1962); Maurice Rapf, for The Detective (1954); Robert L. Richards, for The Indian Fighter (1955) and Kenner (1969) and Jean Rouverol, for The Miracle (1959). And in a startling concession, these writers will be refered to from now on as African-American-listed writers.
READER OF THE DAY: I don’t give readers pseudonyms, so this reader will just have to go unnamed. “Samuel L. Jackson spoke on the Disney lot last week to a half-filled Disney Theater, and surprise, surprise, the Oscars came up. But, he had exactly the opposite sentiment (from Variety’s angle) to share that day. Mr. Jackson, speaking to a mostly black audience, got on his people for blaming the Academy for the lack of black representation when the envelopes are cracked open. He argued that if How to Be a Player is what the black community expects to be nominated, they’d better plan for disappointment. He did slam the Academy, however, purporting that he doesn’t ‘think there really is a Price Waterhouse,’ because nothing he voted for ever gets on the ballot or gets the statue. He drew applause after stating that members of the Eve’s Bayou cast should’ve gotten nominated, in particular, Jurnee Smollett and Lynn Whitfield. But he challenged his audience and the black community to make better films. He also said some interesting things about Spike Lee. The topic came up about the use of the ‘N’ word in Pulp Fiction, and after making cracks like, ‘What, nice? Nimble?’ he said that if Spike doesn’t know anyone who speaks like Jackson’s character Jules, then ‘he ain’t never been to the ‘hood.’ He argued that people speak like Jules, and Quentin was just creating realistic characters. Furthermore, he said that, during the filming of Pulp Fiction, in one scene, just to see if he could, Jackson tried to use the ‘N’ work seven times in one sentence. As you might expect, he got plenty of laughs on that one.”

Views of News

A reader, Brian G., wrote in earlier this week to “demand” (his word) that I write about Sony’s spin on Godzilla this week since I had written so much on the Armageddon spin. I wrote him back in private to explain why I felt that the Godzilla spin, which took place this week in a Daily Variety interview with Sony execs led by John Calley, was not the same beast as Disney’s spin on Armageddon. Why? Because Disney actively spun the Armageddon story, while Sony was asked and answered a question as part of a much larger interview with completely different issues to spin (whether Calley will soon leave Sony and resetting the media position on the studio aprés Godzilla). Also, I believe that Sony spun toward what they really believe. Devlin and Emmerich are still, indeed, valued parts of the Sony family, and there may well be a Godzilla sequel (albeit at a much smaller price tag for the production and the hype and with Devlin and Emmerich as executive producers, not the main team.)
What really inspired me to write about this today was another story in Variety. This one is about Samuel L. Jackson dissing the Academy Awards, as he feels that the institution has dissed black movie talent. Now, I am sure that Jackson will stand by everything that he said in the article. That’s not the point. The feature was titled “Actor Samuel L. Jackson picks bone with Oscars” when, in fact, Jackson was out selling The Negotiator. In that context, a reporter asked him a question, and Jackson answered honestly. But readers would likely get the idea that Jackson was on some sort of campaign against the Academy. He’s not. He doesn’t like them, but he’s not on a Jesse Jackson-like crusade. We tend to use our perceived context as part of our determination about whether an interviewee is thoughtful or a loud mouth. Sony wasn’t looking to spin Godzilla, but was certainly willing to do so. Jackson wasn’t looking to talk Academy racism, but didn’t shy away from it either. How can we blame them for answering when we asked the questions?
BOND BUZZ: Speaking of Sony spin, they lost the first major skirmish in the war to turn James Bond into a two-studio schizophrenic. U.S. District Judge Edward Rafeedie said he was “99.9 percent” sure that he’d be putting the reins on Sony even developing a script for a possible Bond movie until a December trial resolves the issue once and for all. This is Sony’s second failed (so far) attempt to acquire Bond, having attempted to woo Barbara Broccoli from MGM a little over a year ago. Of course, leave it to a lawyer (Art-Buchwald-hero-turned-blowhard Pierce O’Donnell) to take a victory and turn it into absurdist hyperbole, claiming that the ruling created “one of the darkest days in the history of Sony Studios.” Didn’t this guy see Striptease?
WHEN YOUNG MEN’S FANCIES TURN TO SPRINGER: That Jerry Springer movie is moving full-steam ahead. After blonde bombshell Jamie Pressly made her big debut as the often-naked, white-trash title character of Poison Ivy III (and after a small role as the busty blonde of the trio of wags who complimented, then dissed Jennifer Love Hewitt in Can’t Hardly Wait) she just signed up to play a lead in the too-hot-for-video movie (now known as Springers) as a trailer-park queen who claims she’s having an affair with her stepfather in order to win syndicated airtime. So, what do you want to bet that she’ll add the “naked” element to her work in this film, too? And the Playboy spread (so to speak) can’t be far behind. Hollywood. Even when you win, you lose.
KISS AWAY YOUR YOUTH: In other trashy news, New Line Cinema has signed Kiss to appear as itself in the must-be-renamed Detroit Rock City. It’s a story set in 1978 about some guys who go on a quest to meet their favorite band. One problem. I saw Paul Stanley the other day; I run into Gene Simmons now and again. And I can tell you, it may be 1978 in the movie, and they may be wearing a lot of make-up already, but making them look like twentysomethings is going to require more CG work than Spawn did.
CHAT: Friday is my Yahoo! chat day around these parts. Actually, it’s called Movie Chat. It starts at 2:00 p.m. PT/5:00 p.m. ET. And I’ll give you a hint: Show up a little early and start sending questions. As the hour progresses, it gets harder and harder to get a question into me.
READER OF THE DAY: From Ann Minnix: “Last week you asked what women thought of the movie Saving Private Ryan. It is one of the best movies ever made. I saw this film with a theater full of people (all ages and genders), and we all clapped when it was over. I haven’t spoken to one person (male or female) who didn’t love it. This is a film about humanity (and inhumanity) and all who see it will benefit. As far as I can see, any criticisms made about the film are not looked at as carefully as needed. Spielberg spent time framing, writing and editing every shot to make points relevant to his view and it must have worked, because the nearly three-hour film seemed like minutes. Saving Private Ryan was a great movie experience.

Ranting and Raving

I thought I would take a look back at last year this week. Have things really changed, or are we all just always searching the figurative tea leaves for change? Perhaps it’s a little of both. The broad strokes certainly do change. Last year, audiences were sucked into The Lost World and Batman & Robin before the buzz could snap back and destroy them. Not quite that kind of luck this year, though the room seemed to be getting hipper as last summer proceeded with the $229 million domestic gross for Jurassic 2 more than doubling that of B&R: The Lost Franchise, which opened a month later. Likewise, studios seem to have been emboldened by the surprisingly leggy Contact last year, releasing more traditionally “fall” films in the middle of summer. That didn’t work this year, as Out of Sight, A Perfect Murder and Bulworth all bit the dust. Perhaps the analogy for the success of Contact is The Truman Show, though that film had a lot more hype than Contact going in and featured Jim Carrey to boot.
The Top 10 box office results for the fourth weekend of July 1997 are remarkably similar to this year’s numbers. There are six films that have passed $100 million or are likely to pass that number. (There could be a seventh this year, if Zorro and There’s Something About Mary both make it.) The top film is more than $30 million both years with big names in tow. Last year, Harrison Ford (in AFO). This year, Tom Hanks. And Ryan now seems to have a legit shot at matching AFO’s $173 million domestic take and to beat its $313 million worldwide take. (Though I felt going into last weekend that $100 million for SPR would be strong. We’ll see. The worldwide target may be more likely than the domestic one.) The losers that made the Top 10 were two comedies (one teen, one adult in Good Burger and Nothing To Lose) and an action film (Operation Condor). This year, it’s a comedy (MAFIA!) and two action films (one teen and one pre-teen in Disturbing Behavior and Small Soldiers).
Both Armageddon and Men in Black had their fourth weekends in July’s fourth week. MIB would be $50 million ahead at this juncture and would end up about $75 million ahead in the end. Godzilla and The Lost World were both way out of the Top 10 by this point, though JP2 was $90 million ahead. George of the Jungle was 1997’s There’s Something About Mary: both surprise comedies within shouting distance of $13 million in each of their second weeks. And George was the low-dropper of that weekend, too. There is a somewhat strained analogy to be made between My Best Friend’s Wedding and Dr. Dolittle: each was the hit comedy of the summer as well as being one of the three most profitable films of their respective summers. With one less week under its belt(using this date as a marker), Dolittle is almost $15 million ahead already, but one is purely a family comedy and the other is a screwball farce — an interesting match anyway. The big differences are that last year’s Lethal Weapon 4, the big-budget bust Speed 2, exploded in dock. This year’s Face/Off, The Mask of Zorro, isn’t doing quite as well as last year’s youthful action smash. But the slots are filled.
You should be getting some sense of the big picture about now. Lots of things change every year. People develop, produce and market their films individually and take each film very seriously. It’s all so personal. But in the end, only a few films avoid becoming part of the blur of Hollywood. You win some, you lose some, but in the end, the song remains the same. I’m just here to point out those tiny variations.
WEEKLY CHAT: Once again, my weekly chat on Yahoo! Chat will be this Friday at 2:00 p.m. PT/5:00 p.m.ET/10:00 p.m. GMT. This week, I’m in Chicago, but we’ll still just be talking movies. Next week, my first chat guest, Natasha Gregson Wagner.
READERS OF THE DAY: First, a reader named Mark sent me a link to what has to be seen as a remarkable dual review of Saving Private Ryan and Small Soldiers by Jonathan Rosenblum of the Chicago Reader. He rates Soldiers as a four-star “masterpiece” and Ryan as a one-star disaster, having a “redeeming facet.” And if you want to know just what kind of self-indulgent poseur sees movies this way, check out his Top 10 list for 1997. Only one studio film on the list (As Good As It Gets), and only two that more than a handful of you have probably seen (though you should have seen the documentaries that share one of the spots). This guy is a truly retro throwback to the bad old days of 1970s auteurist crap reviewing. Not that today’s crass commercialism is much better, but at least it’s not as smug.
Next, one of the many Saving Private Ryan letters that will serve as consensus for today. From Steve: “I personally enjoyed Spielberg’s rather graphic tale of one private’s ticket home. I can’t understand how so many reviewers (at least the one’s you mentioned) could only see this movie as a Spielberg movie and not just a very well-done war movie. I do have to say, Spielberg did have one of his usual tricks up his sleeve, though. When Hanks and his squad ‘come together’ [edited for spoiler]; this is vintage Spielberg. The whole, ‘The only way we can do this is together’ schtick seems to be a running theme in his movies. But I digress. The fact is, this movie is extremely compelling. If Ella Taylor had any real sense of emotion herself, how could she not be moved by the images that Spielberg throws at us? Spielberg has always been one to tell a story as much with pictures as with words and anyone who sees the storming of the beach in the first 20 minutes cannot help but feel the futility of war and the needless death that it craves. This movie has disturbed me in a way that causes me to think about what goes on around me. That is the point of movies: To reach us and somehow become more than just a series of pictures and words. Isn’t that why we love them?”
Finally, a very different and rare take from Michael of Orlando, Fla.: “Yes Private Ryan is well done, acted and so on, but it is also a nearly three-hour bore! Please don’t compare this war crap to Titanic. I found this to be typical of the old John Wayne-type war films of long ago and found nothing new, except the extreme gore at the start of the film. Ryan surely will not have the legs of Titanic and will not win best picture next year. This summer, it seems that any huge ad budget will push a film to huge box-office totals for the opening week, but do any of these summer films have the legs of Titanic, which is still in theaters in week No. 32!? I agree, Armageddon was horrible — no real disaster scenes, just stupid macho talk. The reason these films do well is because people who go to movies are easily pleased. Don’t forget there are millions of trailer parks in the United States!”

In Ailing Technicolor

I’m sure that you’ve all read about the missing prints of Saving Private Ryan at over 100 theaters around the U.S. last Friday. Well, the blame has fallen at Technicolor’s door, and things over there are looking more than a little hairy. The film processing company’s last tangle with DreamWorks involved mishandled trailers for Antz. Having seen this screwy trailer, I can tell you exactly where they blew that one. They had the original trailer of the Woody Allen-voiced “Z” talking to his therapist with the soundtrack that would end up correctly attached to the newer, action-filled trailer. It was surreal. (By the way, just got a new trailer from DreamWorks that includes more on characters voiced by Stallone, Hackman and Glover. Terrific.) Then, there was the Gone with the Wind debacle that had audiences complaining about blurry sections of the frame, screwy color and other unintended faults in the “new and improved” version of the classic. And now, the Ryan deliveries. Looks like Technicolor’s efforts to move back in front of the technological wave will leave them submerged for the next while.
IN & OUT: Hollywood mogul-guy Robert Evans annulled his marriage to Hollywood fabulous-babe Catherine Oxenberg after a 12-day marriage. Evans, who was recovering from a stroke before marrying Oxenberg, a mere 32 years Evans’ junior, blamed the split on his work obligations. His work? Well, there was a day when Evans ran Paramount, pushing out such films as The Godfather. He segued into producing and knocked out films like Marathon Man, Chinatown and Urban Cowboy. But that was a while ago. Evans’ films of the ’90s are The Two Jakes, Sliver, Jade, The Phantom and The Saint. Films which all but destroyed Jack Nicholson, Sharon Stone, Linda Fiorentino, Billy Zane and Val Kilmer, all at the heights of their careers. In other words, give us all a break and go back to trying to boff the 36-year old.
IN OTHER DIVORCE NEWS: Good feature in Variety about the trouble with Rupert and Anna Murdoch‘s mega-divorce. With California community property laws getting in the way of Rupert’s efforts to keep up with Michael Eisner, he could go the A Perfect Murder route. It would be a great story. But before Murdoch gets Viggo Mortenson to kill his estranged wife (and don’t you think Viggo would rather do that then appear in a movie as poorly received as A Perfect Murder again?), he had better purchase the underlying murder plot rights to the film from Warner Bros. He could get sued. (Word on the grapevine is that Saddam Hussein is currently negotiating with the financially strapped MGM for rights to certain Bond villians’ attempts to take over the world.)
DEJA FOX: Twentieth Century Fox has Star Wars next Memorial Day but now they’ll also make way for Leo. The studio just forked up big bucks for Leo’s next picture, the Danny Boyle-directed The Beach. Not only does this bring DiCaprio back to the senior studio partner on Titanic, but it reunites Boyle with the company that ate dirt with his A Life Less Ordinary just last year. Another happy Hollywood marriage that is all about the art. The art is the bottom line.
CASTING CHRISTINA: Christina Ricci is returning to the loving hands of Tim Burton for Sleepy Hollow opposite Johnny Depp, who may be perfect (as one of the most pasty-skinned of all bog screen swarthy guys) casting for the role of Ichabod Crane. After taking on the tough roles of slut/vixen/bitch in Buffalo 66 and The Opposite of Sex, Ricci gets to go back to studio work as an adult. And Burton gets to fetishize the now very grown-up Ms. Ricci in corsets and heels. It already smells like a whacked-out classic.
VIDEO FORECASTING: Sony has announced that Godzilla will hit the video racks on November 3. My bet would be that Armageddon will follow it to Blockbuster about a week later, still ready for the Christmas buying season. No doubt you will find Dr. Dolittle, Zorro, Lethal Weapon 4 and Mulan there, too. So, the “blockbusters” of Summer ’98 will likely be in your home before Thanksgiving. And I’ll bet right now that Saving Private Ryan will be re-released into theaters — and only theaters — right about the same time. Handling with care. Could it be the latest trend?
READERS OF THE DAY: From Rich B: “I’m reading some criticism of the framing sequence Spielberg uses in Saving Private Ryan. I was skeptical myself, but I think the device is essential. Spielberg’s intent isn’t just to tell a story, but to pay tribute to the veterans, and the framing sequence focuses that message and makes the audience think about the sacrifices that were made. I don’t see how it takes anything at all away from the rest of the film, and I’m a little puzzled at this criticism.”
Also, from Larry Freeman: “I am disturbed by those who make light of the graveyard sequence in this very great movie. I am a Vietnam veteran who has visited the Vietnam Veteran’s memorial in Washington D.C., and my wife’s father participated as an infantryman in the landing on Omaha Beach. It is important that people understand the need for so many veterans to make the pilgrimage to where their buddies are remembered, or are buried, and the grief that jolts each of us when we connect with our memories in that way. We survivors do feel the burden of having lived while those close to us were taken. The graveyard scene was absolutely important as recognition of the closure each veteran must face. And the scene is real with respect to the grief of the old soldier and of what he feels he owes to those he left behind.” Correction: Yesterday’s TWO BAD MOVIES EQUAL should have read simply TWO MOVIES EQUAL. My mistake in not correcting my template as I usually do when I butcher good movies. Sorry.

Weekend Wrap-Up

Well, obviously Private Ryan didn’t need to be saved. With a $30.1 million opening weekend, Saving Private Ryan did better than most anyone would have guessed, though it’s not clear whether the controversy over the super-realistic violence in the film was something DreamWorks overcame or if it turned out to be just the hook they needed to make their film a mega-hit. (No, even if the latter is true, I don’t believe that DreamWorks “used” death and destruction as a marketing draw intentionally. Whatever I feel about the premiere faux pas (THB 07/23), I still believe strongly in the unique honor of DreamWorks and their marketing staff.) Either way, it’s an important film that deserves a large audience. If it drops 20 percent or less next weekend, it automatically becomes the front-runner for high-grosser of the summer. Less fortunate was The Mask of Zorro, which suffered a 39 percent fall in week two of its ride, taking second place with just $13.7 million. It passed $50 million, but Sony can’t be happy. They pushed the film from winter to spring to summer and now, with 20/20 hindsight, it looks like the spring would have been kinder to a film that would have been the only really good populist film other than Titanic. (Oh, for the wide open spaces that Godzilla squandered for them.) Speaking of populist films, Lethal Weapon 4 continues to stay relatively strong despite its self-destructive nature. The film dropped 39 percent in week three with a $13.2 million take, but should pass the $100 million mark domestically before next weekend begins.
The co-story of the weekend is the 7 percent drop of the fourth place film, There’s Something About Mary. I don’t believe there’s been anywhere near such a small drop since Titanic. What does it mean? Yes, everyone. WE HAVE LEGS! We haven’t seen legs since Titanic and they are, indeed, a lovely sight. Some of you who have written are clearly not fans of this film. Vulgar has been amongst the kinder accusations. But this is a funny movie and an original one in its way, so I will continue to support it and applaud its success. Armageddon closed in on $150 million this weekend, dropping just 34 percent to fifth place, adding another $10.9 million to its coffers. I wish I knew who was still going to see this film in these numbers. (Feel free to write. My interest is sincere.)
The second five leads off with Disturbing Behavior, whose behavior as a box office draw will disturb MGM more than anyone else. I don’t wanna wait for Katie Holmes to get back to “Dawson’s Creek.” (Next week, fellow Dawsonette Michelle Williams turns up in a worthless role in the often worthy Halloween: H20. Jamie Lee Curtis pushes the kids aside and takes full command of that bloody romp.) Oh yeah, Disturbing Behavior. Seven million. Not disturbing, Dr. Dolittle continues to astonish, falling just 27 percent to add another $6.9 million to the $110 million it entered the weekend with. (Finally caught the movie. I don’t get the draw. Not a terrible movie, but a $130 million “not terrible” movie?) In eighth, it was MAFIA! — $6.4 million couldn’t be considered a killing. In fact, if a Vegas casino had that kind of take, the real mafia would have someone whacked for skimming the take. (Watch out for Joe Roth if he pulls you close and says, “You broke my heart.”) Small Soldiers got smaller with a 40 percent drop to $5.2 million. Will it be fair to call this likely $55 million domestic grosser a miss? It will depend completely on the foreign numbers. And Mulan makes what is likely to be its last Top 10 appearance with a 31 percent fall to $3.4 million.
THE BAD: Well, our very own Andy Jones breaks one of my cardinal rules for reviews. He gives away info that keeps us from enjoying every moment in Saving Private Ryan as a surprise. However, he doesn’t indulge in what I would say, in this case, has become almost standard amongst “serious” critics: critiquing Spielberg for his previous work and not simply for the film he made. It’s kind of like, “This film was a singular accomplishment, but…” The “but” is schmaltz. Everyone seems compelled to bring it up. Some suggest it even ruins the picture. I say, “Bull.” There were absolutely two or three emotionally manipulative moments in this film, but Spielberg mostly retired his bag of “gotcha” tricks. Separated from his name, there isn’t a whole lot here that screams, “Spielberg!” What it screams is experience and genius. No, I’m not saying it’s perfect. But it is certainly the best film this year (or last — sorry, Titanic) and I say the schmaltz naysayers are just covering their asses by not liking a Spielberg film too much to be “cool.” Amongst the offenders is Ella Taylor, whose review begins, “If Steven Spielberg‘s emotional intelligence matched his visual genius, his harrowing, passionately felt and honorably flawed new film might qualify for one of the greatest American movies ever made about World War II.” Amy Taubin‘s analysis really tears in, beginning with: “A high-minded horror film, Saving Private Ryan begins, like Jaws, with blood and severed limbs in the water and ends like Jurassic Park, with frail humans locked in combat to the death with armored monsters (the monsters being German tanks).”
THE GOOD: In my opinion, Peter Rainer, who I often disagree with violently, got the story right in his review. He watched the movie and not Spielberg. I’ll also be putting together some of your comments for publication in the hot button later this week.
THE ZORRO: A couple things here. First, I have to cough up credit to Executive Producer Steven Spielberg for spinning out this remarkable story of his “discovery” of Catherine Zeta-Jones. I am as taken as anyone with Ms. Zeta-Jones, so you can imagine the sound of my jaw hitting the ground when I saw her flash across the screen in The Phantom. I’m sure that her presence in the film was remembered by many of you, but I have managed to erase almost the entire painful moviegoing experience from my brain through extensive shock therapy. But it all came screaming back as CZJ told the oh-so-butch Billy Zane, “Those are like warheads. If we hit anything, we’re fish food.” What a line! And what a merchandising tie-in Zorro has with Head & Shoulders! I understood the Mustang hook, but a guy in pre-anti-bacterial Mexico who wears a mask and a black hankie on his head selling Head & Shoulders? Like CZJ takes care of her magnificent mane with dandruff shampoo. Come on!
TWO BAD MOVIES EQUAL: The Parent Trap + Saving Private Ryan = The Private Ryan Trap. This is the story of two Matt Damons. One is a young, up-and-coming actor who got hired to do a Steven Spielberg movie with a cast of other little-known actors. The other one who hit lots of magazine covers due to Francis Ford Coppola‘s The Rainmaker, and then hits every other magazine cover (and some of the earlier ones again) after starring in Good Will Hunting and taking home an Academy Award. (He’s seen the sights only a hot young actor can see under star actresses’ tights.) As a result, Tom Hanks and his crew go out looking for a character whom they can’t identify on sight and we can. And a great moment is lost. (What a wild duet!)
JUST WONDERING: I’ve seen SPR twice. I liked it better the second time. A reader, Erin, also has seen the film twice. The second time disappointed her after she loved it the first time (She even sent a link to a RealAudio file of Tom Shales ripping the film, for what else, false emotion.) Anyone else seen it twice? How was it the second time around?
BAD AD WATCH: Warner Bros. has switched from Bobbie Wygant‘s bizarre (if not psychotic) “The Best Lethal Weapon Ever” to Janet Maslin’s “A flamboyant tongue-in-cheek adventure.” What they don’t tell you is that the review was lukewarm. Mostly, Maslin’s review exhibits a kindness that seems to be based on weariness caused by Armageddon and Godzilla, summing up LW4 as “one of the nicer blow-’em-ups around.” In my book, that’s damning with faint praise. The quote that the studio pulled follows, “Lethal Weapon 4 is still a film whose idea of high drama is watching a car get pushed in front of an oncoming train.” But a New York Times “rave” is still a New York Times rave.
READER OF THE DAY: From Michaela: “Saving Private Ryan ‘too harsh’ for women? I’m pretty sure most of us can take it, as long as we’ve got some ‘big strong man’ to lead us out of the theater. God save us all from those who think we need protection from reality (or even fiction based on reality).”

Weekend Preview

Will Pvt. Ryan find the box office safe or soft? That is the question. My answer is that Saving Private Ryan will gross about $24 million this weekend for first place, which doesn’t make it the biggest opener of the summer by any means, but to my mind’s eye is a powerful achievement for a long (2:49), appropriately but extremely violent, male-only cast war movie. Even if it is the best work of Spielberg’s career. And I think it is. Spielberg should manage a one-two punch with The Mask of Zorro (Spielberg executive produced) holding onto all but 18 percent of its first weekend take. I know, movies holding up that well have been as rare lately as a co-star Minnie Driver hasn’t slept with, but I’m going out on a limb for a great summer movie that I hope has legs as long and attractive as Catherine Zeta-Jones. Eighteen-point-five million.
In third, Lethal Weapon 4 should hold up with a 40 percent drop to $13 million. I don’t know who is still paying for tickets to this star-powered clunker, but one can’t argue with success (the film will pass $100 million by the middle of next week), even if one wants to. The debut of Disturbing Behavior has all the marketing hallmarks of a strong opening. But so did Can’t Hardly Wait. MGM has had a depressing run trying to get fannies into seats and this should be no different. Fourth place with $11 million.
Closing out the first half of the Top 10 is There’s Something About Mary. The film took the No. 2 spot through the weekdays, right behind Zorro, on decent but not overwhelming business. Even with just a 25 percent drop, the film falls to the five spot with $10.3 million. Legs, legs, legs. Can Zorro and Mary reassert that ideal? We’ll find out this weekend.
The second 10 should be led by Armageddon, which will drop about 40 percent to $10 million (lots of round number estimates this week, huh?) as it charges past Godzilla and Deep Impact to take the top box office spot for the summer to date. Both of the other films are out of the Top 25. Look for the lightly publicized and completely star-free MAFIA! to take seventh with about $8.5 million. Dr. Dolittle should continue to do a lot as the prime contender for “Most Profitable Film of Summer 1998,” adding another $6.6 million in eighth place to close in on the $120 million mark. Small Soldiers should continue to fall (though I think audiences will find and really enjoy this film on cable) with another 40 percent drop to $5.2 million. And look for Mulan to close out the Top 10 with a 30 percent drop to $3.4 million.
THE GOOD: With his first big-budget film, The Negotiator, due next weekend, director F. Gary Gray is trying to get out of his commitment to direct The Nutty Professor II. Unlike Robert Rodriguez, who dropped out of Zorro in a snit because Amblin and Sony wouldn’t give a guy who had never made a movie for more than $12 million more than a $40 million budget to make the film, Gray is trying to get out because he isn’t comfortable with the way the project is going creatively. You hear that all the time, but this time I believe it. Why else would a young director jump ship from a big-budget virtually guaranteed commercial hit?
THE BAD: This one is from Ryan of Canada. The real bad comes at the end: “I work in a movie theater in Toronto which uses a separate ratings board from the MPAA. Instead of the PG-13 category, we have AA [Adult Accompaniment]. AA requires that anyone under 14 be accompanied by an adult [18 years]. The Mask of Zorro was rated AA — something I see as justified. But a reader letter complains that Zorro had it easy — which just isn’t true. Zorro’s head in a jar and swordplay is hardly on par with Lethal Weapon 4 (also rated AA). As for the beheading scene in Zorro, well, the audience never sees it. It’s implied, which leaves the imagery up to the individual — meaning kids who’ve never seen a head decapitated won’t have a problem with it. Unfortunately, you’d probably have a hard time finding one who hasn’t.”
THE BETTER: When you check out Saving Private Ryan, keep your eyes on the young ensemble of actors working around the Toms — Hanks and Sizemore. My bet would be that this film is one of those films we’ll see on cable 15 years from now and say, “How did Spielberg get all those guys in that movie?” (As opposed to Terrence Malick‘s The Thin Red Line, which is filled with already established names like Travolta, Nolte, Penn, Clooney, Harrelson and Cusack. Incidentally, Sizemore passed on Thin to do Ryan.) Giovanni Ribisi, Barry Pepper and especially Vin Diesel are all going to be movie stars for a long, long time. Jeremy Davies may have a hard time transitioning to adult roles, and Adam Goldberg may be terminally ethnic, but both are masterful as well. There has never been a better-casted Spielberg movie. Never.
TWO MOVIES EQUAL: Saving Private Ryan + Small Soldiers = Saving Small Soldiers. The marketing department of the fictional movie studio, ScreamWorks, needs to resurrect a quickly-fading kids movie that kids don’t seem to care about. After a grossly unsuccessful cross-promotion with McBurger Prince in which kids get real sticks of dynamite with every Crappy Meal they buy, the team comes up with the ultimate plan. They start a contest in which every movie ticket holder is entered to win a date with Marty Demon, who recently became “Hunk O’ the Year” and won an “Academy I’m Bored” for Great Bill Murray. Much to their shock, their film is immediately picked up to open both the BOP Magazine Film Fest and the International Gay Film Festival, doubling its gross within days.
JUST WONDERING: Have any of you checked out Andrew Sarris‘ work for The New York Observer? It’s available at select newsstands outside of New York and on the Net on AOL only (keyword: nyobserver). Sorry if that’s a kind of tease for those of you who don’t have AOL access, but Sarris is one of the few critics working today who is really worth reading, whether he’s talking Ryan or Mary or Zorro. Check it out, and send me some feedback.
BAD AD WATCH: Joel Siegel has been such a blurb-o-matic for so long that the sight of his name draws gales of laughter at the only-for-a-
pull-quote phrasemaking of the wannabe Gene Shalit (talk about low aspirations). But we both liked There’s Something About Mary. OK. But let’s deconstruct this bizarre pull-quote. “Bring your chiropractor if you can because you’re going to hurt yourself laughing.” First I think, “If you can…” What a bizarre notion. The idea that Siegel takes his words so literally that he would concern himself with your access to chiropractic services. Then the idea that his comment is a compliment strikes me odd. Wouldn’t “bring your urologist if you can because you’ll wet yourself,” really turn some heads? Maybe you could take a proctologist. Or a gastroenterologist. How about, “bring your priest if you can because you’re going to have to confess after laughing at masturbation, lust and cripples for two hours!?”
READER OF THE DAY: From Brandon G: “There’s Something About Mary‘s opening weekend potential wasn’t stunted by its R-rating, but rather by its being a comedy without one bankable star. Comedies, unless they star Jim Carrey or Eddie Murphy, traditionally do not have huge openings. I would say $13 million is an excellent take. Mary is the first and probably best of a string of comedies (MAFIA!, BASEketball and Wrongfully Accused) and will benefit greatly from this. Mary’s got legs and should reach $60 million at least. (I predicted $11.6 million for its opening.) Another thing concerning Mary: did you notice that every Farrelly brothers movie features a cross-country road trip? Someone could write a dissertation on this for a cinema class. Viva Auteur Theory!

News By The Numbers

10. STOP HIM BEFORE HE DIRECTS AGAIN: Daily Variety reported Brian Levant‘s threat to bring the same directorial acumen he brought to the live action version of The Flintstones and the writing genius he exhibited in last year’s big screen version of Leave it to Beaver to an updated feature version of “The Munsters.” See, the guy is a comedy God. Here’s a hilarious tidbit (reported by Variety‘s Michael Fleming) about Levant’s pitch: “We met (U production execs) Eric Hughes and Stacey Snider with the original ‘Munster Koach,’ this hearse that was transformed into a drag racer.” Are your ribs hurting yet? Here is Levant’s “It’s Movie Hit A mixed with Movie Hit B” analysis: “The Munsters are driven from Transylvania and arrive in America and become an immigrant success story. Essentially, it’s Avalon with Frankenstein.” OUCH! I can’t breathe! I bet you’re wondering why anyone needs a major motion picture version of “The Munsters.” You see, “The dragon under the stairs was smoke and two red lights for eyes! We can have a proper dragon, battling ghosts, all that stuff.” That Levant! He has an answer for everything!
9. IS FOX A POX?: Fox Top Dog (his official title) Peter Roth was upset when he was confronted last weekend with There’s Something About Mary as yet another example of the studio’s willingness to get a laugh at any cost to taste. Chernin, holding back tears, said, “I cannot tell you how much I take those comments to heart.” Just after that, he announced Fox’s movie slate for next summer, which includes the animated Poo Poo: Escape From Flatulence, the Eddie Murphy starrer Just Glad To See You and the sequel from the Farrelly Brothers, There’s Something About Excrement.
8. COURTING IRRELEVANCE: Even though the judge allowed Alec Baldwin‘s attorneys to call photographer Alan Zanger a “stalkarazzi,” Baldwin was found responsible for his choice to punch out Zanger in 1995 when Zanger attempted to take film of Baldwin’s new progeny which was just fresh from Kim Basinger’s oven. Good. Three cheers for responsibility. Of course, the jury found Zanger 25 percent responsible for the attack and ended up awarding him only $4,500. Good. Three cheers for not indulging consideration-free idiots. And just so you know, roughcut.com is working on getting you the first look at Zanger’s new video, Baby Baldwin: From Conception To Birth, which will try to beat out Pam and Tommy Lee‘s X-rated home movie. I hear Baldwin actually prepares a full Thanksgiving dinner with his penis, a stunt that puts Tommy’s boat driving to shame. And this just in from Turner Legal. It’s just a joke, Alec. No! Please don’t punch me!
7. ANDRE, WE HARDLY KNEW YA: Emmys! This column don’t need no stinkin’ Emmys! But I am happy that “Homicide”‘s Andre Braugher is getting a nod as best actor (for his awe-inspiring work as Frank Pembleton) as he segues into a movie career. Too bad those fools don’t have the insight to nominate and vote for “Homicide” as best show. As much as I like “Law & Order” and the David Kelley shows, there is no other TV show today that is at the quality level of great feature film drama. Except “Homocide.” Ironically, Braugher, who is leaving the show to explore features and to give his acress wife, Ami Brabson, a chance to get out of Baltimore and back to her work (gotta love this guy), just signed for a TNT movie called Passing Glory, to be directed by Hoop Dreams director Steve James. TNT may be “the best movie studio on television,” but we are still on television.
6. TWO FOR THE GENETICS OF ONE: Jodie Foster had a baby boy last Monday. It’s only been eight months since Thanksgiving 1997, so I guess I’ll have to abandon my turkey baster parental theory. And I’ll take this opportunity to applaud Ms. Foster’s plans to be a single parent. Some worry about a boy not having a male influence, but I’m pretty sure Jodie has that covered.
5. BYE JOE: Joseph Maher died this week. He was 64. Like the great and now late J.T. Walsh, Maher was a guy whom you would immediately recognize. Perhaps he was best known as the Brit-accented bishop in Sister Act or as the butler in Heaven Can Wait or from TV, as a regular on Jamie Lee Curtis’ “Anything But Love.” He was also a very accomplished stage actor. I used to see him at my neighborhood grocery store all the time. Nice guy. But it was the work that will stay with me. And ultimately, he went with real style, cremated and sent to his family in Ireland. Ashes to ashes.
4. MAD MONEY: Madonna didn’t like the way things were going with 50 Violins, so she walked despite spending months learning the violin. Madonna can claim she’s ready to be a movie star all she wants, but she still hasn’t made anything but headlines and a baby since her Evita performance left audiences lukewarm. She seems to be part of a generally disliked three-headed blonde Hollywood wannabe (with Courtney Love and Tina Brown) that can get more attention than almost any movie star but couldn’t make an impact on the movie industry except from the periphery.
3. OVER THERE: The foreign box office should and will become more of the daily perspective of industry watchers everywhere. Last weekend, Armageddon broke German records a week after Godzilla beat all Japanese attendance records in its opening week. Between the two, they grabbed $34 million overseas. Meanwhile, Deep Impact is already more than $150 million foreign and even City of Angels took in more than $34 million so far. It is a small freaking world after all.
2. FIGHTING OVER PRIVATE RYAN: The Saving Private Ryan premiere was marred (if you covet publicity) by the no-show of “Entertainment Tonight” which was caused because they didn’t get the No. 1 camera position for the event. A friend tells me that this wasn’t the first run-in between E.T. and DreamWorks’ Terry Press. Apparently, E.T. wanted an exclusive on the premiere of the trailer as well and didn’t get it since Press wanted to be fair and spread the wealth. E.T., of course, ran it anyway. DreamWorks probably played the premiere issue wrong, but as I keep saying, this studio seems ready to break all the rules at a time when the rules need breaking in a big way. Bravo DreamWorks.
1. JUST FOR KIDS WHO KILL KIDS: In another thrilling story from DreamWorks, Burger Kings in Springfield, Ore. won’t be giving away Small Soldiers toys with every Kids Club meal. Turns out that one of the soldiers, Kip Killigan (subtle name, huh?) looks like Kip Kinkel, one of those kids who shot up his high school recently. How will this affect the Saving Private Ryan landmines that are scheduled to appear in Kids Clubs meals (set off by opening your chicken fingers) soon? Don’t know. But remember that old McDonald’s commercial about getting your food and some change? Now you can get your food and some fingers. And they won’t taste like chicken.
READER OF THE DAY: From Russell D: “I do agree with you about Zorro, Mary, and Out of Sight, in respect that they are the best the summer has yet to offer. And I find it offensive when people refer to Jennifer Lopez as Selena. Where has he (a reader in THB 7/22) been not to know who she is. Everybody knows Jennifer Lopez. That mother f—er should give respect when respect is due. Too bad he did not like the movie. There is more to Jennifer Lopez than Selena. She is a goddamn goddess and he is probably mad that she is with George Clooney, and he missed out.
“I also want to comment about the How Stella Got Her Groove Back trailer. I read the book, and from what I am picking up from the trailer, the creators seemed to have dumbed the story down and filled it with stereotypes. First, in the book she goes to Jamaica by herself with no adult companions. Second, they augment her small extended family to a huge black family, which seems to be a Hollywood standard now (i.e. The Color Purple, Soul Food, etc.). And finally, her love interest was light-skinned and tall, this guy in the movie is a Puff Daddy look alike. I know that it has been done before, where they dumb down the story of the novel to draw an audience, but this is insulting.
“It seems like the book and movie are only going to share the title and the plot and disregard what the author was aiming at, which, in my opinion, was character development and make it, in their opinion, crowd pleasing. What really is interesting is that a lot of black people are behind the scenes on this film, like the author herself. Nevertheless, they are doing what the studios have been doing for years, and then turn around and say that the studios have never presented blacks properly on the screen. I am black, and I have seen dozens of movies that reflect that kind of individual I am and the family I grew up around. Unfortunately, it has not been done by a black filmmaker dealing with black issues.”