Roman Catholics in Chile are organizing a boycott against film festival screenings of Abel Ferrara‘s Black Out because of its explicit lesbian sex scenes featuring German Uber-model Claudia Schiffer. Jewish-American groups are also upset that the film helps us imagine the nausea-provoking, reality (I guess) of the sexual relationship between Schiffer and David Copperfield (nee’ Kotkin). Oy!
“Shall Ve Kill? (dum-dum-dum) Shall ve blow them to bits-kies? Shall ve bomb? (dum-dum-dum) Ve can haff lots of fun, ya, if ve only had a gun-ya. Shall ve kill? Shall ve kill? Shall ve kill?” For those of you whose parents never took you to dinner theater, that’s “Shall We Dance” from the musical The King & I, as performed by Arnold Schwarzenegger. “Huh?,” you say? The rumor around Broadway is that the Austrian Alp is going to be hitting the boards in a Broadway revival of the show that made Yul Brenner’s head famous. Another hit: “Getting to Broadway, trying to sing songs in English. Getting no retakes, working almost for free. Getting to Broadway, playing a lost King, It’s nat’ral, Cause I am actual’, A Kennedy.”
Dan Haggerty is back in Grizzly Mountain, which hits theaters on Oct. 17. Well, part of him. In a story more grizzly than his most famous character’s name, or his beard after three bowls of vegetable soup, Dan explains where he’s been. “Three and one-half years ago, I’m on my motorcycle and I’m 1,000 feet from pulling into the driveway when in front of me a van makes a u-turn. Next thing I knew, I’m wedged underneath the van, and it tore both of my legs off, and broke my hips.” Ouch! Haggerty credits his recovery to 50,000 pieces of fan mail, including a note from the Pope. In the great Hollywood tradition, divorce is the ultimate punchline. “I’d rather this pain then the pain I went through married to my first wife.” Ba-dum-dum! Take my legs, please!
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