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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Ad Nightmare

I just saw a Valentine’s Day ad for Finding Neverland featuring The Police’s “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic.”

Words escape me.

“Celebrate Valentine’s Day with a beautiful romance that’s full of laughter that’s the feel good movie of the year.” Dean Kish, Movie-List.com

This kind of reminds me of Turner & Hootch… you remember, the man/dog buddy cop movie in which the dog gets shot to death in the third act. What fun! Bring the kids!

Next, New Line should try “Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Javier Bardem… they just can’t get this hot tamale out of bed… he’s so hot, women travel miles just to be with him… and he’s so gentle, he brings them pleasure without ever thinking about his own needs. ‘This Sea Rages,’ Kyle Kenneth Cartman III, South Park Gazette.com.”

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14 Responses to “Ad Nightmare”

  1. L&DB says:

    Poland, dont you know nothing is funnier than
    the death of a widow with a LOT of kids? Now
    that’s damn funny! That ad reminds me a lot
    of those Chocolat ads a few years back. They are
    basically selling Depp. If you like Depp as a
    whimsical loving dude in films, then that ad is for you.
    Now, when it comes to Baby. Let us talk about the
    grandest deceiving of the moviegoing public since
    Starship Troopers used “Song 2” in their TV ads, but
    not in the movie (if anyone gets that reference. I
    will personally mail you some twinkees). I just
    saw an ad today for Baby; making it out as a friggin
    UNDERDOG SPORTS MOVIE! The ad seemed more like
    something for a more gritty version of the Mighty
    Ducks, then a flick about a girl who decides to
    end her life due to a bs plot contrivance.
    Why are people not talking about the ending of this
    film? DO people like being lied too? I did just
    ask that question. Schucks. Of course they love
    to be lied, but this flick has some of the most
    deceiving ads for any movie I have ever seen.
    (SPOILER WARNING ADDED BY DP)
    So she kills herself due to adversity kicking her ass
    again.
    (SPOILER OVER)
    Big deal. Plot contrivance of the worst
    kind for a movie that has to lose the Best Picture
    due to this grand lie.
    Friggin ad execs can sell The Sea Inside truthfully.
    Yet a movie with a similar story, though fictionalized,
    decides to lie to the moviegoing public? Garbage.

  2. Gombrowicz says:

    That’s Miramax. Sell your movie as if it were the kind people want to see, not as being like it really is. My favorite of their misrepresentations was for Kieslowski’s WHITE, which they promoted as a sexy Julie Delpy film, even though she’s only in about 15 minutes of it and its basically a sad-sack comedy about a frumpy Polish guy (It’s a great film, but still…)
    Of course this goes way back. BICYCLE THEVES was promoted as a sexy romance in some ads back in the 40s!

  3. bicycle bob says:

    they’ll try anything to sell this movie. no ones buying.

  4. L&DB says:

    My fave misrepresentation from childhood has to be
    AGAINST ALL ODDS. They should that thing like some
    friggin action flick. Yet the real movie turned
    out to be a friggin cross between North Dallas Forty
    and Rachael Ward’s hot ass.

  5. bicycle bob says:

    they should have sealed the deal and had nick nolte instead of jeff bridges

  6. Mark says:

    Miramax can spin any movie. It is part of their charm.

  7. KamikazeCamel says:

    oh.my.god. I can’t believe L&DB is still going on about this!
    “Why are people not talking about the ending of this
    film? DO people like being lied too? I did just
    ask that question. Schucks. Of course they love
    to be lied, but this flick has some of the most
    deceiving ads for any movie I have ever seen”
    1. Er, people are talking about the ending of the movie. Incase you don’t read any other movie based websites, it’s EVERYWHERE (especially due to annoying right winged morons like yourself who seem to think the movie is preaching gospel to every person who is disabled)
    2. Why is it considering lying when the adverts don’t give away the end? It’d be lying if they said it was a feelgood romp. But they’re not. They are merely not giving away the final act and for any movie to do that is honourable because it seems every trailer gives away something from the movies final act. M$B’s ads do not. It’s not lying, it’s good marketing.
    3. Some of the most deceiving ads you’ve ever seen, eh? What about all the trailers throughout the years for comedies that well weren’t very funny. or the trailers for every second romantic comedy that is neither romantic nor comedic. Those are much more deceiving than a movie predominantly about boxing advertising itself as, whatd’ya know, a boxing movie.
    who’dve thunk it.

  8. L&DB says:

    Counterpoint to the above: 1) IF it were everywhere,
    then the fine folks creating these ads would have
    changed course. Maybe sold it in the same vein
    as The Sea Inside. Go see that trailer. Baby is
    not a boxing movie. It is an ADVERSITY movie.
    She chooses to fight hard to become a boxer, but
    not as hard to continue living?
    2) The TV ad I saw today made it appear to be

  9. L&DB says:

    Counterpoint to the above: 1) IF it were everywhere,
    then the fine folks creating these ads would have
    changed course. Maybe sold it in the same vein
    as The Sea Inside. Go see that trailer. Baby is
    not a boxing movie. It is an ADVERSITY movie.
    She chooses to fight hard to become a boxer, but
    not as hard to continue living?
    2) The TV ad I saw today made it appear to be a
    feel good romp. All the main leads were smiling.
    They ended it with Maggie’s triumphant march to the
    ring. A feel good underdog boxing movie.
    3) A comedy trailer has a vast difference than
    a flick like this trying to vy for the biggest honour
    in the film industry. If you want to call this
    flick a classy picture then sell it like a classy
    picture. The ads for this film rank right up there
    with propaganda of the worst kind. And you did not
    like some comedys. Thus making their trailer
    inaffective? Sorry. That does not work as an
    analogy.
    Go go get your shinebox…

  10. bicycle bob says:

    the camel has some anger issues. relax son

  11. Angelus says:

    I guess you would characterize Rocky as an adversity movie too then right? Every movie is an adversity movie. Thats the whole point. Without adversity or conflict we wouldn’t have any movies.

  12. KamikazeCamel says:

    I don’t have anger issues! 🙂
    I have issues with people who, for whatever their reason (religion, personal similarities) grossly over react to characters in a movie so much as to call it propoganda. It’d be propoganda if Clinty turned to camera and said “All you disabled people should get a friend to kill you! It’s the only noble thing to do!” but he’s not. Infact, the movie ends on the thought that he’s not going to be forgiven (by himself and god) so take of that what you will.
    I’m sure there’s plenty of disabled people throughout the world who contemplated suicide. It’s just that in this fictional movie one character helped another do this.
    btw, maybe in America they’re selling it as a feelgood romp (i highly doubt that but, whatever) i’m fairly certain most other places are getting ads that show a sombre, drama about people. In fact in one of the ads currently on Australian tv it ends with the bit where Clint is sitting in the change room and Scrap asking “you got a fight I don’t know about?”.
    wow. real upbeat.
    But, again, even if it is being advertised as a feelgood movie (again, i doubt it) then that’s just savvy marketing.
    It’s rare to find a movie that has a development that audience members don’t see coming a mile away.

  13. JT says:

    Thanks a lot for ruining T&H, Poland! I was just heading out to rent it!

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