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David Poland

By David Poland

How High The Comment Word Count?

I’m not sure we’ve ever had a 1400 word entry on the blog before… and I’m pretty sure that I don’t want to encourage it.
But “kit“s rant on Sin City was wild… almost too wild to hear past the froth in his mouth.
I’m pulling it off the Comments, where I found it, and you can read it, if you like, after the jump.

“Sin City” is eye-popping yet ultimately thin and shallow as a page in a graphic novel. It’s a fiction built on fiction and fantasy based on sexual kinks. The appeal is visceral yet condescending. It’s mere exploitation designed to look hip and cutting-edge. Every character is essentially the same, and the stories are interchangeable. The film’s mantra — “Walk down the right back alley in Sin City and you can find anything” — rings false. You always find the same damn thing.
This movie may have real visual quality, and moments of great violence, but the acting was awful!!!!!!!!! The dialogue was so stilted and fake-sounding. The dialogue is done so awful that you want to laugh or cry, but you end up annoyed. Not what I imagined at all. This movie is about as good as Dick Tracy 2.
Bruce Willis, is a damn good actor and his performance was great. The only problem was that Jessica Alba was pitiful, over acting/under acting, had no chemistry, lack of follow-through, no talent and most of all she can not act, therefore she made others acting generic because of the major contrast; steven Hawking could have done a better Nancy. She brought less value to willis’ performance and made it less effective. They should have substituted a broom stick for her. Alba, however was the worst, but she was not the only person who retarded and made this movie pathetic.
The females in this movie were carelessly casted, and taken from one teeny bopper-romantic-sleazy-millena TEEN movie (scream, Gilmore Girls, American Pie, ect.) and put in a role that was not qualified. The only 2 really good female actresses was Rosario Dawson and the ninja girl (who did not say a single word), these two carried the movie’s mood and style in great understanding.
The best damn character of the movie had to be Mickey Rourke, who looked and acted with a quality that contrasts much of the cast. Marv was a really strong character that had the tone of MTV’s THE MAXX. This movie was literally carried by the quality acting of Rourke. Willis was good, but Alba is so awful at acting that she vandalized the quality and performance of Bruce and the strength of other characters whom she interacted with.
The darkness and the artistic aspect was okay. There was way too much CGI and graphics. They used pointless special effects way too much. They did everything in CGI, even cars driving away or coming. This pointless use of graphics is real reminisent of AHHH..HEEEMmmm.. Spy Kids… There was benefits to having this movie in black and white they could do poorly and black out flaws. This movie was really over done and in said, was done impulsively.
The choices in cast was a real failure. Sin City is the type of movie that would appeal to those who were tired of reading the comic with one hand (attthem, men). The sleaze was abnormally accurate to what MOST men dream; subordinate females, skimpy out fits, helpless women, damsels, underwear clad, camel toe flashing, a girl who ‘saves’ herself (looks 16 but they had to make it less pedophelic by suggesting she was 19) for a man who is in his 60’s. Yet, it is rich in “‘moral value'” when he tells the girl that he is in love with her and always was. Well in the beginning it shows this little girl at age 8… makes you think…
Overall, I got the best entertainment from the blackness of the movie. I can not remember the last time a black and white movie was interesting visually. It was a shame that most of the blood was not clear, or even red. This movie was overdone in every other part and used obvious computer graphics that were low in quality and sequential clarity, but they could not add a contrasting color to the blood. Why? because the blood was not even real in this movie.. Which the blood had a matte appearence and was not visually apparent in this movie. There was parts of violence, but all the best parts had a black screen and the character was filled in solid white, when brains were blown out and ninja scenes took place. The only total color that appeared in this movie was while Bruce was in the strip club; oh you get to see sleaze in full color nudity sex and riding but yet the violence is censored! This is ridiculous that the sexual and promiscuous aspects are bright and noticeable and embraced, but the violence that serves the main purpose of the comics to emphasize the horror of life in sin city. The ‘what it takes is balls’ comic theme is transformed into a really good interpritation for women to see how pathetic, annoying, nerdy, dillusional, conditioned (classically), and shallow many men are. The characters besides Rosario, the ninja girl, willis, Elijah, and Rourke, were chosen by a rising fallace. I mean Elijah Wood actually looked like a great and talented actor in this movie!!! Well then I must look at the caliber of ‘actor/resses’ and then it becomes obvious! The other people were asthetics (nice to look at), period. Yeah, many may say this movie was violent, yes it was, but you could not see the vast majority of it. Yeah, it was definitely sleazy and over the top sexual to a point of desensitization. The only emphasized coloration at all was mainly to show off women’s bodies and their helplessness; which manifests into all women being prostitutes. Nice!
Overall, I was expecting something comparable to kill bill I. I was expecting blood & guts in extreme detail. What I got was a softcore porn that made me want my money and 2 hours and 8 minutes of my life back.
DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME.. UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE SUCKY ACTING especially ALBA and Brittany Murphy. Or you are horned up to see Alba dance on a pole like a sloppy and extremely unconvincing stripper. This movie is overrated, says something about men, and THE BAD ADAPTION OF COMICS TO FILM STILL SHOWS TO BE A FAILURE.
Courtney Love, would have played the best Nancy.
Fairuza Balk would have made the best Shellie.
Ani Defranco (barf) would have made a much more believable lesbian probation officer, rather than Carla Gugino’s fake breasts that do all the acting.
Then the girl from GILMORE GIRLS- what more is there to say “seventh heaven blah blah (sing it)” this just validates and seals the deal. The casting people chose all the worst actors from all the worst shows and teen movies. They went for asthetics over accuracy. They went for people that do not even look or have the capacity to act the parts. This was a major unethical representation of a classic graphic series. This movie…. was a crying shame… They should recall the movie and make it again.
Sin City is the male response to the McG/Barrymore Charlie

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10 Responses to “How High The Comment Word Count?”

  1. bicycle bob says:

    dave, that was unreadable.

  2. teambanzai says:

    Yes but did this person like the film? Oh and Carla Gugino’s breasts are real.
    This is just another review where the reviewers sole purpose seems to be to make sure no one else sees the film. If you hate it fine, but there appears to be some people out there that like the film. Besides what did you expect from the man that brought you Spy Kids 3 and the man the wrote RoboCop 2 and 3, they sucked far more than this film.

  3. Mark says:

    It’s good if you go in there expecting comic book type fun. If you’re expecting to be wowed and have a new experience during a movie than take a pass.

  4. don says:

    *Sigh* the internet. Ironically, I could’ve written a review of kit’s review that would have sounded remarkably similar to his review of SIN CITY.
    What’s that line in JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK? Something like “the internet has given a voice to millions of people. Millions of people who have chosen to use that voice to bitch about movies.”

  5. L&DB says:

    Anyone who talks some smack about Ani D(ifranco).
    Easily wants a scolding. Shenanigan upon kit for
    such utterly dumb statements.

  6. lazarus says:

    Can someone give this guy back his meds? Or shoot him?
    Nothing insightful here. Sounds like a spazzy Aint It Cool review.

  7. bicycle bob says:

    reading this gave me nightmares last night. thanks dave

  8. Peggy Archer says:

    I agree that the film could have been better, but the dialoge was lifted directly from the comic book, so I had to accept that it wasn’t going to sound real..
    I’ll agree that Alba’s terrible, and that the women are all really badly written – the guys here have the better parts, by a long shot, but that’s comic book land for you..
    What really got me is the violence. Some of it is unbelievably brutal, and it was probably bad enough in the comic book, but it’s stomach turning when it’s 40 feet wide.
    I don’t know if I’d urge folks not to see it, but do go in knowing that it’s not the greatest thing since sliced bread.
    Use your movie passes, or see the early show.
    Just don’t eat first.

  9. Malloy says:

    Very strange. I think the author is actually female, based on more than one interjection like how the picture “says something about men,” or “The sleaze was abnormally accurate to what MOST men dream.” Which could mean that the author isn’t male but not like “MOST men.” Perhaps it’s Andrea Dworkin’s widower John Stoltenberg gone off the rails for grief.

  10. Malloy says:

    groan, of course I meant “Which could mean that the author IS male.” I see the preview function is actually our friend.

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