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David Poland

By David Poland

Hate To Even Mention Him…

But a friend inspired me to reflect on Jeffrey Wells for a moment and with Sundance just a few weeks away, I was inspired to dig up WellsDance.

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11 Responses to “Hate To Even Mention Him…”

  1. PandaBear says:

    That’s great. Now you just need pictures of his kids.

  2. RoepersGottaGo says:

    Forget Wells. How about Andrew Sarris putting Sin City in his top 10? He must have a thing for Jessica…

  3. Rufus Masters says:

    Sin City in a Top 10? Of Frank Miller novels?

  4. Mark Ziegler says:

    Just for that Wells is going to write another column on how good Munich is yet how much he hates it. Get ready.

  5. Crow T Robot says:

    Hilarious. David Poland you are the Samantha Bee of Oscar bloggers.

  6. Mongoose says:

    You gotta love Jeff Wells – that’s some great stuff.

  7. joefitz84 says:

    If this whole writing thing doesn’t work out for him he definately has a career in photography lined up and ready to go.

  8. DanYuma says:

    Heh, oldie but a goodie. I haven’t been able to read any of Wells’ more photo-clogged entries without remembering that.

  9. Geoff says:

    Very funny stuff, Dave.
    Jeffrey Wells is about as pretentious as they get. He is still fun to read, at times, but the photo stuff on his column reminds me of all these boutique shops and restaurants you walk into, around the city, that put up framed signed photos of C-list celebrities on their walls to show how hip they are.
    “Frankie’s Pizza doesn’t suck!!!!
    Hank the Angry Dwarf from the Howard Stern Show.”

  10. palmtree says:

    I missed it the first time around so thanks!

  11. quizkid82 says:

    Check out this beautiful expression of holiday cheer from the top of WIRED this morning:
    “Oh, yeah…I might as well say ‘Happy New Year’ to everyone. A lot of people said this to me last night, and I said it right back. And as far as it went, I meant it.”
    Oh, Jeff, you warm my heart.

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon