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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Monday, Monday…

I t is a boooooring day in Hollyrock. Anyone got anything?

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63 Responses to “Monday, Monday…”

  1. My short doc film STRINGERS won the audience award in Austin at the Austin Film Festival! Other than that, I got nada. I was thinking of suing Borat though…since everyone else is doing it.

  2. Blackcloud says:

    Since you can’t sue the gun makers or McDonald’s now, that’s the way to go.

  3. waterbucket says:

    Has anyone ever seen Troll 2? A friend showed this movie to me a couple weeks ago and now I’m obsessed with how bad it is. This movie is the holy grail of so-bad-it’s-good movies.

  4. Mr. Gittes says:

    James Bond open up on Friday. But I’m not that excited for some reason. I don’t know, Jason Bourne kinda puts Bond to shame.

  5. Sam says:

    I read The Hot Button about Casino Royale. It’s great to hear that it’s getting such a great reception so far.
    But I have to address an aside in the column. It’s time to debunk the dirty lie that Goldeneye was the best of the Brosnan Bond films. It is, in fact, the worst. I still like it. It’s got some great supporting characters, neat action scenes, and does the all-important (at the time) task of reviving Bond for the 90s.
    But we also have a completely uneven, unfocused script. The action scenes don’t blend with the plot at all. Bond is placed not once, not twice, but *three times in a row* in elaborate death traps — by the same villain, no less! — and left alone to escape. I realize elaborate death traps are a series tradition, but this is just insidious and ridiculous. It’s the laziest conceivable way to wedge in a couple of action scenes in the movie. The story suffers for it.
    Then, later, when the plot actually *calls* for some haste and energy — Bond is racing against time to save the world — we stop at a pretty beach and Bond has a little quiet scene with the Bond girl. It makes no story sense to do that at that point, except that traditional rules of pacing require a moment of stillness before the climactic finale.
    The movie is littered with weird action cliches, like people shooting machine guns at point blank range and missing. We’ve also got a tank in an embarrassingly Moonrakeresque slapstick moment with a statue, and later it completely *shatters* upon impact with a train, which remains undamaged and on the tracks. (The tank would probably get thrown around more, but the train would take the lion’s share of damage. I normally don’t complain about stuff like this, but the shot is absurdly unconvincing.) And we have Eric Serra’s incongruous techno score, easily the worst and most grating musical score of any film in the series.
    Amongst all these complaints, I still think Goldeneye is a pretty good movie. But Tomorrow Never Dies, which avoids all these problems, integrating action scenes so much more seamlessly than Goldeneye does, is unquestionably a superior film.
    So, for that matter, is The World Is Not Enough, though that’s a closer call. And Die Another Day, while I agree that it goes far enough over the top that the series required the reboot it’s currently getting, works beautifully as an all-out action movie, CG flaws aside.
    Goldeneye is the only one of the four whose flaws run fundamentally deep, into the very structure of the film.

  6. jeffmcm says:

    Troll 2 is indeed something special, although it’s still not the platonic ideal of the entertaining bad movie. I’d nominate such titles as The Incredible Melting Man or Manos: The Hands of Fate or Death Bed: The Bed That Eats.

  7. Mr. Peel says:

    Those specific criticisms of Goldeneye are not things I ever really thought about very much, but after having just watched it again over the weekend yeah, they’re correct. I always focused more on the stretch in the middle (pretty much when Bond gets to St. Petersburg) where the movie just treads water for about 20 minutes. Joe Don Baker gets introduced, nothing really happens. Robbie Coltrane gets introduced, nothing really happens. Bond makes arrangments to deal with the Janus Syndicate, we’re still waiting. The movie also has a sort of weird prefab feel;nothing specific I can point to, just an overall feeling I get from it. You lowballed it on the Serra score, though. I always thought it was one of the worst and most grating scores ever heard in any movie. Famke’s still awesome in it, though.
    Tomorrow Never Dies may be superior, but it’s just too much wall-to-wall action for a Bond film. There’s not enough of the feel of luxury and downtime that it should have and most of the more interesting elements it would have had seem to have been lost through multiple rewrites. And Teri Hatcher’s pretty bad. But at least the music is good.
    The World Is Not Enough isn’t great, but it does at least make the attempt at a meatier story. The pre-credit sequence is pretty terrific, but it’s still a problem that it’s the best part of the movie.
    Each of the Brosnans have their good and bad points and each for different reasons. Here’s hoping for the best from Casino Royale.

  8. movielocke says:

    How much stronger a contender would Good German be if Soderbergh pulled the three voiceovers? They don’t add anything essential to the plot or our understanding of the characters, we can get all of that from the performances. It’s a stylistic choice that seriously hurts the movie in my opinion.
    The film is so far from Michael Curtiz (except in how the camera moves) it’s funny. The lighting is Tourneur and Toland, the story more Welles and Reed, none of which are anything like Curtiz.
    It’s a fine film noir, but not exceptional. Tobey Maguire’s half crazed character is the strongest noir choice, unfortunately the voice over (never, ever have Tobey Maguire record a voice over again) just made me laugh and laugh at his character for the rest of the film.
    As it is I don’t think Clooney will be getting a nomination, but Blanchett was surprisingly strong, especially in contrast to Clooney. Christian Oliver will be someone to watch closely, he was a bright spot in his three scenes late in the film. But if Clooney is falling out of the Actor race open the door for Damon (good Shepherd), Norton, or Cohen?
    I still think Soderbergh is just as strong a possibility for a best director nomination as Innaritu is. Both films are showcases for the director’s talents, especially Good German, but I’d be surprised if either film got a best picture nomination.

  9. Blackcloud says:

    I agree with everything Sam says. GoldenEye is a mediocre retread of Goldfinger, without the Aston Martin or awesome villain. It’s easily the weakest of the four Brosnan films. The others have problems, too (especially the progressively increasing recycling with each film), but GoldenEye is the one where the flaws are the greater part of the whole.

  10. LexG says:

    GoldenEye also earns a few demerits with that awful Eric Serra “blip-blip-bloop” score, which sounds even less like a vintage Barry-Bond soundtrack than Michael Kamen’s “Lethal Weapon”-ish cues for “Licence to Kill.”
    On the plus side, Sean Bean was quite effective as 006, as this was before he was Hollywood’s favorite Everyvillain, and it had TWO smokin’ hot Bond Girls in the form of Janssen and the underrated Isabella Scuropco.
    Plus, Pierce has some awesome “Lawnmower Man”-length hair that’s about three inches longer than Her Majesty would probably enjoy.
    “Tomorrow Never Days” has some accomplished action scenes and a surprisingly lean running time, but out the window are all the things that make Bond, you know, Bond– there’s no gambling, no chemistry with the “good” Bond Girl (Michelle Yeoh), a wimpy “bad” Bond Girl ( a pre-revival Teri Hatcher), and an unmemorable henchman: Some dork in a skin-tight horizontally-striped shirt who looks like a blonde Everett McGill. There’s little in the film to distinguish it as anything more special than a reasonably polished Jan De Bont potboiler.
    I do think the Sheryl Crow song is massively underrated.
    “World is Not Enough” and “Die Another Die” are both enjoyable in a slightly bloated, latter-Moore era kind of way. Sophie Marceau and Robert Carlyle add some kick as the villains in the former, enough so to put it squarely above the 30-year-old blando in “Die”; And as much hype as she always seems to guarantee, Halle Berry really is a nonentity as “Jinx.” Heh, remember that SPINOFF that everyone was lying about and pretending would every happen back in the day?
    On the L.A. tip– WHY OH WHY can’t “Casino Royale” be at the Arclight? I see even with Sony out in front, it’s keeping up the MGM tradition of always booking the secondary theaters in L.A. Yeah, I know, the CHINESE is not technically a secondary theater, but good luck finding a decent audience there anymore, or with getting out of the parking lot in under three hours. I can only hope it hits the Vista; Otherwise it’s looking like another unattentive Grove audience, where the 144 minutes will be mostly spend marveling at how many times people need to walk up and down the stairs to head out of the theater to make calls or refill their giant-sized drinks.

  11. Wrecktum says:

    I saw Troll 2 when it was first released on HBO back in the early ’90s. I was stunned speechless. Now, I look back at the experience fondly, but at the time I felt like my soul had been violated.
    Check out some of the Troll 2 fanwankery on youtube. By favorite is the video I linked to in my name. Oh my gaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

  12. PetalumaFilms says:

    Nicely done, Wrektum. That guy screaming “Ohh my Goddd” has a real live fly on his forehead. One of those crazy moments they just decided to leave in I bet…

  13. Wrecktum says:

    I didn’t make that video, just for clarification.

  14. EDouglas says:

    Saw Bobby and The Nativity Story today. Bobby wasn’t bad (but man that Love Boat trailer is even funnier after seeing it)… Nativity wasn’t great, but I’m not really the audience for it. (I was so annnoyed that they didn’t explain what “Myr” was.)

  15. Wrecktum says:

    Why does it need an explanation?
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myrrh

  16. Blackcloud says:

    Ah, but did they explain frankincense?

  17. Lota says:

    Hollyrock.
    any time I ever hear that word, i think of the Flintstone “celebrities” that had WIlma and Betty faint–Dash Riprock and Rock Hudstone.

  18. Josh Massey says:

    “Goldeneye” was the only halfway watchable Brosnan Bond, in my opinion. And no, that doesn’t necessarily make it a good movie.
    Honestly, what was the last really good James Bond movie? “The Living Daylights?” Or do you have to go back to the ’70s?
    Hopefully “Casino Royale” turns it around.

  19. Blackcloud says:

    Don’t forget Stony Curtis.

  20. RDP says:

    The throw-away joke about Jonathan Pryce’s company purposely releasing software with a bug in it so they could charge for upgrades ruined ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’ for me.

  21. Eddie says:

    For me, the Brosnan Bond movies went
    Tomorrow Never Dies
    Die Another Day
    Goldeneye
    World is Not Enough
    I agree Troll 2 is amazing. I’d pay to see Bond vs Troll 2.

  22. PetalumaFilms says:

    I still have next to no desire to see the GHOST RIDER movie, but this poster kicks ass!
    http://www.moviecitynews.com/arrays/2006/poster_ghostrider.htm

  23. Wrecktum says:

    Hey Poland, it’s Bridge *to* Terabithia, not Bridge *at* Terabithia. That AnnaSophia Robb is going to be a star.

  24. I thought Goldeneye was the best, but I’m not a huge Bond fan. I thought The World is Not Enough was one of the worst of the year, and Die Another Day was mediocre. Tomorrow Never Dies was actually probably just as good as Goldeneye, but I haven’t seen it since I saw it in cinemas originally so…
    But, Casino Royale looks really good.
    David, reading your Hot Button on The Dead Girl I’ll ask you if you have seen the Aussie flick Two Hands (with Heath Ledger and Bryan Brown) because Rose Byrne was great in that one too. I was a slight fan of Blue Car and you’ve definitely got me interested in The Dead Girl.

  25. David Poland says:

    I was a big fan of Two Hands before it got dumped here. Saw it as Sundance. Ledger’s stardom was clear.

  26. ployp says:

    I never liked James Bond. It’s just too over-the-top and Die Another Day killed the series for me. I will see Casino Royale, just because it’s James Bond (and my parents like 007) so I’m happy to hear that the stunts are real.
    I would love to hear about the Nativity Story. I doubt that I’ll get to see it any time soon, since it is Thailand and most Thais are Buddhist. But then again, The Passion of The Christ was released here (I was so surprised!! I don’t know how it fared at the box office), so anything can happen.

  27. EDouglas says:

    “Why does it need an explanation?”
    Well, i’d be a bit worried about some guys I don’t know in a strange hat bringinging my newborn baby gifts already, but who knows if frankincense (no, it’s not explained, I just figured it was sticks you light and they give off a nice smell…and are really really honest) or myrrh are appropriate for children under 1?

  28. Blackcloud says:

    They also brought gold, is that appropriate for a newborn? We are talking about two thousand years ago.

  29. Ju-osh says:

    “They also brought gold…”
    By “they” you mean the sock-on-the-head blings, right? Only “they” would bring GOLD to a MANGER. How new money…

  30. Wrecktum says:

    You know, those Bethlehem mangers used to be so HIGH CLASS. But now, with all those dirty eastern SOCK HEADS with their gold chains and their myrhh cologne, the place has really gone to shit. They call themselves kings. Ha. You ain’t no king of me. King of BLING is more like it.
    Sorry, I’ve had 1.5 glasses of wine, so take everything I say with a GRAIN OF SALT.

  31. Blackcloud says:

    “You know, those Bethlehem mangers used to be so HIGH CLASS . . .”
    The mangers went downhill when the JEWS showed up. The SOCK HEADS just clinched it.

  32. Tofu says:

    Goldeneye ****, easily one of the finest action events of the 90’s. The dam jump, the tank hijack, the excellent western hand to hand combat. Not to mention it has one of the coolest villains in Bond history.
    Tomorrow Never Dies *, well that didn’t take long to hit rock bottom. Forgettable is the right description here. Bill Gates as the baddie? Puke.
    Word Is Not Enough ***, underrated and likely the coldest of all four. Best character work, but not “Bond” enough.
    Die Another Day **, works great in the first half, and then goes back on to much formula in the second.
    Casino Royale is going to blow some minds, and put pretenders like Jason (Zzzz) Bourne back in their place.

  33. bob giovaneli says:

    Watch for the dark horse about to round the turn in LA (and Pasadena and Palm Springs)….”SWEET LAND” (www.sweetlandmovie.com), with its great NYC reviews behind it, and stunning work from the actors, the writer/director, and the cinematography. It’s opening this week in LA & next week in Chicago and next month in SF and San Diego…and I would love if it approached the finish line, surprising everyone.
    Becasue who doesn’t love a good dark horse coming out of nowhere? (And I don’t work for the film. I just loved it so much seeing it in NYC, after missing it win Audience Award at the Hamptons Film Festival last year.)

  34. Lynn says:

    Goldeneye was the one with Sean Bean? I like Sean Bean. He and Brosnan were well-matched, IMO, and I usually like the inside-guy-turned-bad plot device.
    I’d also like it if Sean Bean could be in a big Hollywood movie playing a nice guy. Just one time. Without trying to mess with his accent.
    Also, there are three days left till Happy Feet. I have been waiting for it since I saw the first trailer and I am very, um, happy that it’s here. My big decision now is to Imax or not to Imax.

  35. bmcintire says:

    Have either THE PAINTED VEIL or WE ARE MARSHALL screened for the press yet? Curious about both of them, but have yet to hear word one about either. I vaguely recall seeing the Garbo version of VEIL on television over a decade ago and finding it a horrible telling of an interesting-enough story.

  36. jesse says:

    I agree with whoever said Goldeneye was the weakest of the Brosnan Bonds. It’s not bad — actually, I’ll go out on a limb and say that none of the Brosnan Bonds are too bad — but Tomorrow Never Dies and Die Another Day are definitely the cut-above entries.
    The World is Not Enough is underrated in some ways, but I was pretty disappointed when I saw it. Before it came out, the specs were:
    -John Cleese!
    -Begbie!
    -Denise Richards! (Remember, she was coming off of Starship Troopers/Wild Things… and I was 19)
    -Garbage doing the theme song!
    So clearly, this sounded like the best Bond ever. That it was merely pretty good (Cleese and Garbage, good job; Carlyle, too subdued; Richards, well, kinda dumb, but what did you expect) really let down my 19-year-old self.
    But I think in general — with all of the new-Bond hype — Brosnan has become underrated. The “invisible car” bit in Die Another Day keeps getting hammered home (is it in the press notes for Casino Royale or something?), but the opening bit of that movie, with Bond tortured and captured and left for dead, and disavowed… pretty harsh for a Bond movie. The rest of it is good fun, too. Brosnan was solid; a nice mix of smooth and campy (Connery being the smoothest and Moore being too campy for my tastes — though I admit I haven’t seen any of his adventures all the way through).
    I’m eager to see the Craig take. But remember that it wouldn’t look so refreshing if Bond had always been done “this way” — close to the novels, grimmer, colder, etc.

  37. James Leer says:

    No love for Xenia Onatopp?

  38. Direwolf says:

    So, Borat has done $27 million in the UK. F911 did $11 million in the UK. ROTK on the other hand did $106 million. MI3 did $29 million adn X3 did $35 million. I’d say $27 million is pretty damn impressive.

  39. Eddie says:

    I was disappointed with The World is Not Enough because, among other things, a lack of imagination. You have a villain who can’t feel pain, and then all he does is put out a cigarette on his hand.
    With $200 million dollars at your disposal, can’t you show off the guy a little more? Thought it was a wasted opportunity.

  40. DickJones says:

    Any info on when the heads roll at WB? I know Robinov just resigned his deal, so he won’t be going…

  41. frankbooth says:

    I agree. Eddie. RC came across more as depressed than sinister. He was more intimidating in both Trainspotting and Ravenous.
    Begbie vs Bond — now that would be a fight.

  42. Denise Richards as a Nuclear Scientist. Nuff said.

  43. Eric says:

    I’m disgusted that nobody has mentioned the very best/worst line of dialogue in all of the Brosnan movies: “I thought Christmas only comes once a year.”
    I think that’s the only thing I actually remember from the last three Bond movies. The last time I tried to watch Tomorrow Never Dies, I fell asleep.

  44. PetalumaFilms says:

    I just saw FAST FOOD NATION and it’s pretty fucking great! Everyone should go see it…as soon as possible. Linklater rules and should get some kind of Oscar for screenwriting.

  45. jeffmcm says:

    “Denise Richards as a Nuclear Scientist. Nuff said.”
    I don’t understand you people. This was a BOND MOVIE! Who would you rather see joining Bond on an adventure as a nuclear scientist, Stephen Hawking? Werner Heisenberg Jr.? This is meant to be escapist and fun, I don’t blame you if you think she doesn’t sell the part because she isn’t a good enough actress, but come on.

  46. kerrigan says:

    congrats to STRINGERS!
    i saw borat over the weeked and was let down. i mean, it felt like all it was was anus jokes and jew jokes and whore jokes. BFD. maybe the hype got the best of me…
    to me, what’s so great about borat, and all of SBC’s characters, is the perceived notion of an actual interview happening, despite the absurdism, and watching the interviewees deal with it. Like, did anyone watching his tv show ever really wonder what drove Borat the human? I guess so….
    anyone else let down?

  47. Jeff, are you saying there are no sexy actresses who also appear to be, shock horror, smart?

  48. “No love for Xenia Onatopp?”
    She was choice!
    Petaluma, I was really surprised at how much I liked Fast Food Nation. I think it may have worked better if it solely focused on the Moreno/Vanderamma storyline though. The movie has it’s flaws (major ones. Where does Kinnear disappear to?) but in the end it sorta got under my skin and I found myself just generally liking it. I wasn’t sitting there fidgeting in my seat looking at my watch and thinking of what negative things I can say about it in a review (always a true sign of a really awful movie).

  49. jeffmcm says:

    Of course not, KCamel. I’m saying that in the James Bond universe, I expect to see the likes of Denise Richards as nuclear scientists – why else watch the movie in the first place.
    Of course, I’m sure Dr. Christmas Jones had no place in Ian Fleming’s original Bond universe, or in the current Casino Royale world either.

  50. crazycris says:

    Have you seen the ranting for and against Borat over on the Bagger’s page? Quite a number of people with very strong opinions!
    Borat hit the theaters in Europe last week, without much repercussion other than in the UK. I’m guessing he might not translate that well. I’m waiting to watch it ’till I can get hold of an English session (in some other city, sigh!)
    In the meantime, Babel comes out tomorrow, FINALLY!!! :o)

  51. Stella's Boy says:

    Holy shit Fast Food Nation is bad. Like, I truly can’t believe what I am seeing bad.

  52. Me says:

    I too waited a while before seeing Borat, and the hype really didn’t live up for me. It was dick and fart jokes with a bad accent… so what?
    Though, I will say, the bear stuff was flat out hilarious.
    But anyone claiming that this is a serious satire that deals with bigotry in this country is on more crack than the people who said watching Crash makes you a better person.

  53. Blackcloud says:

    My brother on “Borat”: “Longest 80 minutes of my life.” He says no one in his group of nine liked the movie.
    Xenia Onatopp was better as an idea than as an actual character.
    Any of you as little surprised as I am that the Dems’ honeymoon ended so soon as it did?

  54. EDouglas says:

    “Holy shit Fast Food Nation is bad. Like, I truly can’t believe what I am seeing bad.”
    Well then, you’re going to love my positive review which is going up later. I love proving others right. 🙂

  55. Stella's Boy says:

    If a movie is bad, I know your review will be positive EDouglas. And vise versa. Your taste is for shit. There is no one I trust less when it comes to film criticism.

  56. PetalumaFilms says:

    I agree FAST FOOD NATION has some flaws…namely character flaws in that there’s no “soul” to them. That works and doesn’t work.
    I just like the fact it takes the template of “fast food” and applies it to life in America. It’s like that scene in THE WEATHER MAN where Nic cage’s character realizes he’s “fast food.”
    I also love the way the movie shows it’s hand, tells you what’s happening in the world we live in and then shows you even more thus making the viewer sort of…complicit in what’s happening. This is a better “state of affairs” movie than any Michael Moore movie…but not quite as good as “When the Levees Broke.”

  57. Mr. Peel says:

    Of course we’re fine with gorgeous nuclear scientists in Bond films–it’s when they’re played by Denise Richards that’s the problem. TWINE is a very uneven movie in tone in how it combines the Christmas Jones character with some of the more serious aspects of the plot.
    I wish Casino Royale were playing at the Arclight, or even better at the Dome. It’s not gonna be at the Vista. Showtimes at the Chinese on opening night are at 7:30 and 11. Neither one is very convenient. I still can’t wait to see it.

  58. LexG says:

    Nice stealth release on “Fast Food Nation”; I haven’t seen a single TV ad or trailer for it… and it’s not even an “exclusive engagement” release. Nope, in L.A. alone it’s playing all around the city in generic multiplexes, yet with promotion on par with “Idiocracy.” And the newspaper ads– a big, greasy color picture of a cheeseburger– don’t exactly sell it as a serious event movie with a strong cast. Morgan Spurlock’s mug stuffed with fries was a more appetizing bit of advertising than that pic, which almost makes it look like they’re trying to pass off a no-cast indie or a documentary as a legit movie.

  59. Tofu says:

    Forget all that lame Jinx spin-off talk, Xenia Onatopp needed her own flick.
    So… Casino Royale. The negative views on the last act are a total mystery to me, but then again, I enjoyed the finale to Batman Begins. I’m clearly in the minority there, and yet still no not why.
    CR wasn’t as hard hitting as it has been made out to be, and actually a bit more comical, but still delivers a class and nuance that I didn’t think Martin Campbell had in him. Then again, 11 years can change anyone.

  60. FAST FOOD NATION also isn’t particularly funny, and they’re marketing it like it is. Bad move, bad move.

  61. LexG, that happened down here too. It was released here about a month back and it was at general suburban cinemas. When I saw it on Cheap Tuesday (where most major cinemas reduce ticket prices by a few bucks) the cinema was pretty empty. Needless to say, it left our Top 20 after, like, two weeks. And yes, it’s not a “comedy”.
    I really actually wish there was a film solely around the Mexican refugee storyline.
    But I heart Ashley Johnson (the Mickeys register girl). She’s so adorable in anything she does.

  62. Stella's Boy says:

    11 people walked out of the Fast Food Nation screening I attended, and the theater was a quarter full at most. The studio screening rep said that the walkouts have been happening at every screening for it. I think it had a lot of potential, but I don’t think it’s focused enough. It meanders a lot and tries to do too much, without doing enough of anything.

  63. Why do people walk out on movies? I mean, unless the movie is really insulting you as a person, I don’t see why people don’t just sit it out. I mean, no matter how bad someone thinks Fast Food Nation is, how can it be so bad that you absolutely must leave. It’s being lazy and anything those people have to say about the film shouldn’t be considered with any worth.
    …or that’s my $10 a ticket opinion.

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