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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Shrek The Turd

I went to Dreck over the weekend out of a sense of obligation. And it was significantly worse than I could have imagined.
I am a fan of the first Shrek film. It was ironic, funny, quirky, and at its core, sweet as green spun sugar. The fairy tale of it all was clean and clear, as all great movie ideas are. The great heart is more important than the great beauty.
The second Shrek film launched on the success of the original combined with the even greater reach via DVD. Adults weren

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16 Responses to “Shrek The Turd”

  1. abba_70s says:

    Just like Spider-Man 3 – too much clutter. I miss the ‘simplicity’ of the first movie. Unlike the last two Shreks, no repeat business from my family.

  2. Noah says:

    The ironic thing is that both Shrek 3 and Spiderman 3 are so full of stuff, clutter as you call it Abba, but they were both so boring. They throw a ton of stuff at the screen, but nothing really sticks. I agree with you one hundred percent on this, Dave, terrible movie. They may as well have just had a hand come out of the screen to take the money out of my pockets.

  3. Because they can’t decide on anything for long enough to make the audience care. In Spidey just as Sandman was a main character they “kill” him off and then the film is essentially villain-less until they throw in a random scene to remind us that it’s not and then Venom shows up and blah blah. Other characters are too many different things (good/evil/friendly/sad/etc) and plots start yet dont go anywhere (Gwen Stacey).
    I can’t speak for Shrek 3 because it’s not out here yet (why? that’s just stupid) and I doubt I will see it because Shrek 2 was absolutely terrible in my eyes.

  4. EDouglas says:

    I wonder which fansite that news site stole the picture from sans credit. (Our picture actually came from a diligent fan who spent all morning reloading until it showed up.)

  5. Noel Murray says:

    In the trailer, it’s Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song.” Is it “Barracuda” in the final version, or did you just confuse the two?
    (They’re kind of similar, so no great shame if you did.)

  6. Eric says:

    Holy smokes. That Joker picture is truly a nightmare. I mean… wow. I never really thought they’d make it work.

  7. MarkVH says:

    Can’t really comment on the third Shrek since I haven’t seen it, except to say I think, Dave, that you seriously overrate the first movie and slightly underrate the second (which I thought had more genuine laughs than the first). I doubt I’ll get worked up enough to go see this, but I can’t imagine it being all that bad – and at only about 80 minutes, has to at least be a nice respite from the bloat of the surrounding epics (still can’t get over the fact that Pirates is f’ing THREE HOURS).
    But speaking of disappointing sequels, I caught 28 Weeks Later this weekend. Are people really saying that this is better than the first film? I think it’s a huge letdown – intriguing setup and tight, visceral first 20 minutes… which it promptly squanders with lame dialogue, repetitive chase sequences, absurd coincidences and utterly boring characters. There’s not a moment in the movie that even comes close to the emotional heft of Brendan Gleeson’s realization of infection in the first film.
    Some of the gore is cool, but when did the zombies (ahem) in this universe start eating people? I thought they were just infected with “rage” and wanted to beat people up really badly. And what’s the point of having Robert Carlyle and Idris Elba (a.k.a. Stringer Bell) in your movie if you aren’t going to make interesting use of them?
    Really disappointing. Didn’t work for me at all. Next…

  8. bipedalist says:

    Both films suck so hard I’m beginning to wonder if this is indeed the end of cinema as we know it.

  9. cjKennedy says:

    Seriously Noah, how do movies with so much deliver so little? Ok, I’m only speaking about Spider-Man here. I’m guessing there’s no point for me to see Shrek 3 since I didn’t like the 2nd one.
    MarkVH is right about 28 Weeks Later too. I was shocked to read so many positive reviews afer I saw it.
    If anyone is tired of the summer hubbub already (I am), do yourself a favor and check out Paris Je T’Aime.

  10. Wrecktum says:

    Shrek 1 was an abomination. Shrek 2 was more of the same, but it had two great laugh out loud moments (can’t remember when…I just remember laughing twice) and the absolutely great new character Puss In Boots. So I give the edge to 2.
    I will never see 3 unless I’m invited to a free screening.

  11. RudyV says:

    Anyone notice on the NineMSN website offering the Joker picture that all the sponsored links are for skin care products? …Or at least they were when I looked at it. Your mileage may differ.
    I agree with David on SHREK–saw the first at least a dozen times and could go back for more, felt bored during the second and am wondering if the third will feel like having a tooth drilled.

  12. Tofu says:

    Pirates is 2he 45 min, 15 minutes longer than the last, which was 15 minutes longer than the last. Chill.
    Shrek 1 & 2? Same quality. Really, people were just caught off guard by Elliot and Rossio’s take on Disney the first time, and 2 was just an extension. Thank Christ I see these as they are about to leave the theater and never again. Expectations? Bah. Outside of the films, the series has become a parody of what it was making fun in the first place: A big corporate sellout.
    Joker? About time they did something new. I heard the same bitchin’ about the Batmobile last time. Just watch it in context a little bit before jumping the gun.

  13. doug r says:

    I was disappointed by Spidey 3, it took about an hour to get going, some cool stuff with the Sandman near the beginning, a lot of stuff looking too CGI. There was nothing that grabbed me like the traintop fight in Spidey 2.
    Shrek I liked, maybe because after seeing Spidey and hearing the reviews, it didn’t really disappoint me.
    The “woodland critters” scene starts with the Led Zep song and bridges to “Barracuda”.
    Maybe I’m just a sucker for the GRRRL! power.

  14. Tofu, who’s criticising it? Nobody here is at least.

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon