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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Die Hard Falls Down, Goes Boom

I’m a guy who likes good junk. I’ll laugh through Eight Legged Freaks or Lake Placid and go with that flow. This film is junk. There is not a director (nor a judge nor a producer nor a P.A.) on On The Lot who could not have done as well as Len Wiseman with this budget. But I laughed. I laughed a lot. It was horrible, but not offensive (outside of the odd interest Wiseman shows in hitting women in the face really hard, no less than four times in the film). So maybe it will hurt so good for a lot of audiences, not limited to teenage boys who just want to see stuff blow up and to take a few minutes to consider feeling Mary Elizabeth Winstead up.
Maybe.
But I’ll take Transformers to block.

The rest…

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14 Responses to “Die Hard Falls Down, Goes Boom”

  1. TMJ says:

    Totally disagree, though to each his own. When compared to the original, it falls well short. What wouldn’t? But when compared to With a Vengeance, this is the sequel I hoped that one would be. For now, I’m just going to pretend WAV doesn’t exist, and call the Die Had trilogy my fave popcorn series.

  2. Tofu says:

    I vowed to myself I wouldn’t bother with a PG-13 Die Hard anyhow, but…
    It was horrible, but not offensive (outside of the odd interest Wiseman shows in hitting women in the face really hard, no less than four times in the film).
    Mary Elizabeth Winstead is making a career out of abuse, but Maggie Q would do well to just stay out of that mix altogether.

  3. Joe Straat says:

    I caught the REALLY early matin

  4. TMJ says:

    It was at that point, when McClane picks himself up with the instantly classic “Thats enough of this kung fu bullsh–” line, that I realized I love this movie. Enough of the wire-fu garbage, indeed, John. Back to brutal basics … at least until Bay CGIs our retinas out with his hollow monstrosity.
    Bomback may have fudged the details, but he gets McClane right. The subsequent elevator shaft scenaio was pretty damn cool, as well.

  5. Nicol D says:

    This is perhaps the kind of film that pisses me off the most. I know I will have serious problems with it but because of my affection for the concept, Willis, the franchise, and Maggie Q, I will be there this weekend.
    Hopefully I will be surprised.

  6. The Carpetmuncher says:

    “An epic piece of shit”??? Now that’s a review!
    Mary Elizabeth Winstead is a fox. Can’t we just give her all Lindsay Lohan’s roles? (OK, I love me some Lindsay too, but the baggage is drowning out the talent).

  7. austinwave says:

    “But I’ll take Transformers to block.”
    Have you seen Transformers yet? Please give us the good word. If it is even slightly good, it will be a huge success. I mean, Transformers is based on a crappy cartoon which was based on an 80s toy fad. If that can produce a decent movie, something amazing has gone right somewhere.
    “Live Free or Die Hard”, on the other hand, has turned a great movie into a cartoon which will probably spawn a crappy toy line eventually.

  8. Wellywood Rrrrr says:

    Great review Dave. Smart and very funny. With each description of an improbably stupid stunt I found myself laughing louder, but the topper was the image of a stealth-like jet flying beneath a freeway overpass with a guy riding on the wing. Hilarious.

  9. martin says:

    Based on other review of DH4 I’d say Dave is overstating it’s badness (or at least its lack of entertainment value).
    Transformers has only 4 reviews so far on rottentomatoes but I guess technically it’s “100%” right now with a couple decent outlets, like Todd McCarthy and Emanuel Levy giving it thumbs up:
    http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_the_movie/?show=all

  10. doug r says:

    Just came back from an evening show, looked about 85-90% full.
    This was the most I have been entertained this summer. Way more fun than the other sequels. Oh, and DP
    SPOILER
    She did just kick him in the head a few times, I think McLean can hit back.
    END SPOILER
    I don’t know about those Transformers reviews. They seem all suspiciously similar, like they all came from the same press kit or something. At least with Don, you know what his stake is….

  11. sloanish says:

    As a sequel to Die Hard, greatest modern action film of all-time: 3.5
    As an action movie in 2007 in an era dominated by CGI: 7
    But thanks to DP for preparing me for the worst. It’s dumb, but it’s a lot of fun.

  12. leahnz says:

    i just got back from transformers which opened here today, saw it with my 8 year old boy who has 162 transformer toys, which he’s been collecting since he was a toddler after someone gave him one as a birthday prezzie (he’s a transformers savante, while we’re looking at the instruction sheet scratching our heads he just picks up the toy and flaps his hands about like those freakish kids doing rubicks cubes and presto chango! the bulldozer is a robot, more than meets the eye)
    my stream-of-consciousness verdict: all in good fun, moments of coolness, quite long, corny, surprisingly funny, better before the robots start talking, shia is bitchin’ and steals the show – that boy’s got something spesh goin on – the transformers are choice, the overblown michael bay soundrack drove me bonkers and made me want to puch him in the face on several occasions, the u.s. military should love it, i liked the beat-up camero better, all the girls ‘cept sam’s mum look like barbie dolls, i think the same guy’s been doing optimus prime’s voice for the last 30 years. cool.

  13. 555 says:

    “i think the same guy’s been doing optimus prime’s voice for the last 30 years”
    that would be Mr. Peter Cullen, who still had to audition for the role of Optimus for the film.

  14. scarper86 says:

    Jeffrey Lyons loved it and his review ended with, “My concern is that sometime in the future a computer expert may be able to do something like this. It’s the times we’re living in.” He frickin’ thought it was a documentary!

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