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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Spider-Man 3 Superset… With Awesome Forgiving Action!

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13 Responses to “Spider-Man 3 Superset… With Awesome Forgiving Action!”

  1. Crow T Robot says:

    This is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Poland. Seriously. Parody on a sublime level.
    (would love to see what they could do with the Matrix and Pirates character dolls)

  2. jeffmcm says:

    It’s pretty funny, even if I disagree with their take on the movie. But yeah, I’d love to see a toy commercial for The Architect, with all the powers of Exposition at his disposal.

  3. Aladdin Sane says:

    Truly awesome. Way more entertaining than the movie. Almost makes me happy to have seen the movie. (But not quite)

  4. anghus says:

    awesome
    better than anything i saw on SNL last season.

  5. IOIOIOI says:

    “I forgive you.” Good stuff.

  6. Rob says:

    “Can’t…make…cut. Everything…so…good.”

  7. Josh Massey says:

    That was perfect. Spider-Man 3 is the worst movie I’ve seen this year, and this is coming from a guy who had Spider-Man 2 in his top 10 of 2002.
    (OK, Norbit was worse. Sue me.)

  8. Spacesheik says:

    That parody is *spot-on* about SPIDEY 3, the Mary Jane histrionics, the Editor refusing to snip any frames, the Emo jab, the Tipper praying at the church moment, the ‘I forgive you’ sequence etc — only reiterates that is was the worst SPIDEY flick and one of the worst movies this summer, period.
    Sam Raimi needs to leave the franchise. Everything about his take on the trilogy is tired by now – reboot the whole thing: music, principal actors etc

  9. hendhogan says:

    damn, the trilogy’s not even a decade old and we’re calling for a reboot already?
    there has rarely been a successful trilogy. that this series failed is more to be expected than to be decried.

  10. anghus says:

    Spiderman trilogy NOT successful?
    Did you see the numbers?
    And no offense, but the first film is liked, the second film is loved, and the third film is a flawed popcorn flick. I’d put the average of the Spiderman trilogy against a lot of others.

  11. hendhogan says:

    i’m not taking financially. i mean it’s hard to find a successful trilogy in a creative sense.
    for example, to me, the closest was the alien trilogy. loved the first two, but thought the third one lost its way.
    again, not trying to diss the spiderman trilogy. just suggesting a reboot this early seems ridiculous as it is very hard to sustain the level of creativity and innovation over the course of three movies.

  12. brack says:

    The fact that someone took the time to make this proves the film has worth.

  13. That was utterly brilliant!

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon